FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Married-Playing alone
Married-Playing alone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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always felt they were frowned upon here,but people have circumtances that I think I would take into account.Just thought it would be a subject that would get folk chatting. |
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"always felt they were frowned upon here,but people have circumtances that I think I would take into account.Just thought it would be a subject that would get folk chatting. "
yeah i have to agree with you there its a simple desision play or dont no need to be so nasty and critical towards married or attatched people x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm happy with married's playing alone if their spouse/partner knows.
But I know that it's not always as cut and dried as that.
I don't meet with them and as long as their meeting has no impact on me who am I to say? |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We are not on Fabswingers to judge others. What some do in their personal relationships is none of our business.
We dont question their motives or domestic reasons for playing.
Also if they say they are single then as far as we are concerned they are single.
Does that make us naive and possibly callous towards their Mr/Mrs sitting at home doing the ironing and babysitting? |
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As one who is married but plays alone i make that clear on my profile. That's my choice. I can say no one on fab has had a go - i mean we all mature to make own decisions. I know some will frown and i respect that. If everyone was respectful to every fab user, fab would be a better place. Just my penarth worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems it's not the being married that people have a go at, it's the lying when people say they are single when they're not.
Having been on the receiving end of an irate partner of someone on here, it's not pleasant despite the fact the gent was adamant he was single and in theory I'd done nothing wrong but believe him. |
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Everyone has there reason's and im not here to judge or be nasty to any person. I think every attached person will have different reason's and circumstance's for being here so you can't assume everyone is the same.
As a someone who has been cheated on and hurt very badly i really dislike people who play without there partner's knowledge. So in general will politely decline and if they ask why im happy to explain my reason's. |
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It's a tricky one and we are all entitled to an opinion.
It's not always possible for the married player to give their reasons in their profile as to why they (we) are on here alone.
I prefer to be open in my profile, some don't, does that make either of us any more or less honest ?
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"We are married but we play alone also. But with each of ours knowledge. It works for us."
I have no problem's with that because you are both know and seem happy to play alone.  Think it's absolutely fantastic that you both do that. |
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We thing that majority of us on this site are looking for ‘friends with benefits’ and for the most part we are honest in what we are wanting. It is not our place to judge other people –everyones circumstances are different. Having said that if you are ‘attached’ and you are looking for NSA fun,say that in your profile - don't pretend to be someone your not. For our part we do reserve the right to know if we are playing with a ‘real’ single or ‘attached’ single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol me either greig,,
a cpl we messaged gave the excuse not meeting because we both played alone from time to time and they did not agree with it?
erm,,,,ok then??? lol
we both play together and occasionally play alone,,,with shift work and kids to deal with we both are not always free at the same time and... shockerooni!!! we actually get off on our other halves having fun cause beleive me when we get into bed that night,,,WOW!!! 
auds xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree Auds, we have busy lifes, also we have different tastes, you meet a couple i fancy her, she fancies me, the guy fancies Les but she doesnt fancy him. Its a big thing for all 4 to get on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh defo!!
thats why i giggle when you get single guys looking for a FB,,they think its going to be easier ,,hell your kidn right??
for 2 chicks and 2 guys to all like each other AND be free on the same date,,,??? murder!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don't like people who are playing without their partners knowledge. The deception is what annoys me. I have no problem playing with someone who is playing and is attached but their partner is happy for them to play alone.
I don't want to get on my high horse about it, but it says on my profile I don't want cheats (which in my book only applies if you're playing without your partners knowledge) and then when someone starts emailling me, etc etc, I get pretty irritated! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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jim and i can play together, seperate whatever takes our fancy at the time,some ppl might think this strange but as we say each to there own, were not here to judge or be judged, we are all different i mean jim luvs haggis ffs i hate it. its all about fun.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Opinions are like arse holes,everyone has got one. Now I have had abusive mail for being married and playing away. But that's there choice. I just smile and keep going. It states on my profile I am married and playing away. Now am sure 90% of supposed single guys on here are likely married or in a relationship, so it just goes to show. Slowly backs out the room |
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As everyone has said we all have our own opinions, what I can't understand is the ppl who play as a cpl but then say that anyone who plays alone is cheating I would have thought having sex with anyone but your partner could constitute that!! Myself and Mr Lovers don't play alone but that is not to say we wouldn't. I believe on here you should live and let live have opinions by all means but don't judge, none of us have the right to do that!! xxx |
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Very interesting comments on an interesting subject no matter what you say its right to some and wrong to others My personal opinion is that those who play as a couple but not alone might have a few wee insecurities to allow theyr partner to play alone i cant see how playing together is right but playing sinle is cheating at the end of the day its the same thing As for married people cheating on partners it could be that things just aint right with the sex side of things At end of day we are all human with needs it doesnt mean you dont love your partner If everything was good at home you simply wouldnt do it as you would be happy enough with what you got What is wrong is someone who sleeps with someone else for revenge or coz theyve had a huge row thats thats cheating just my opinion guys |
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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago
Lanarkshire |
A couple who swing together or apart as long as its with consent and knowledge is perfectly fine thats their choice.
People who play away behind their partners back with no knowledge or conset is cheating in my opinion.
The choice for me is to decide if i wanted to play with a cheater and its my choice if i am fully informed they are attached or married, but for those who say single and arent and there is a backlash on that from the partner when found out is not a situation i want to be in and again thats a choice.
Ps. If there are any guys out there who are happy to stay in a sexless marriage and still be the lovely attentive caring person who wants to be with me , can u call me pmsl , erm tongue in cheek by the way.
Happy swinging to all regardless of ur circumstances its ur choice and its ur consequences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really care what people do lol. Everyone has their reasons and I might wanna play alone if I get married but I don't play with married people without their other half. I had a bad experience with a mentalist wife so it's a defo no go for me now I play with both or play with singles....well at least the ones who claim to be single pmsl. xx |
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By *assie4Couple
over a year ago
highlands |
we dont and dont think we will ever play alone ,we like to watch each other having fun .and i (mrs)dont think i could relax 100%without hubby there.but we dont think there is anything wrong if its what both partners want |
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By *nTCouple
over a year ago
funland |
we never play alone and not coz we have any insecurities - we look for mmf fun so looking for an extra body so to speak lol. As for married, if their partner doesnt know then yes its cheating, but do we judge that - not our place to - there could be a million reasons and we are here for fun. "let ye who has not sinned cast the first stone". Would we meet - we tend not to as we only play on a fri/sat evening which is the hardest time for attached people to meet in most cases.
Everybody has the right to say yes or no - nobody has the right to judge someone else, in my humble opinion |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Whats folks opinions of married people playng alone,for whatever reason?"
married people playing alone,with consent,swinging.
married people playing alone,without consent,cheating.
no matter how you butter it up,if your partner,does not consent,you are cheating. |
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I frequently have married, or suspected married, women trying to get into my boxer shorts. I always have, and shall continue to, tell them exactly where to go! (Normally the local dogging hotspot if the wife's at home).
On a serious note - without a doubt 'my type' are cheaters. I admire the many folk on here who do 'share' their partners, but every relationship is different. Some folk class playing alone with consent as cheating, some folk would class 'sharing' as cheating. EVERYONE has summin to hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we wont entertain a man or woman who r in a relationship playing on there own thats cheating just not good in our books"
We're married, we both play alone, we both know about it and actively encourage each other to do it.
How can that be cheating? |
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Cheating refers to am immoral way of achieving a goal. I would never argue or disagree with anyone who terms cheating differently to myself. Everyone's morals are different after all.
Let's say, for example, a footballer is given permission, or encouraged, to dive to get his team a goal and does so. He has cheated in many eyes, but between him and his manager it is morally acceptable. The world would be a funny place if we all agreed. Live and let live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im married i play alone but sum times can be a restraint as people on the site class that as cheatting but the judge to soon as certain people have certain issuse let he who judges be also judge.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love this Post...
You find out who all the Judgemental people are
lol"
.........and there certainly seen to be plenty!!!!!!
The word"Cheating" is begining to to develop a particularily nasty smell and seems to be very elastic in definition.Unfortunately ones circumstances are not taken into account!Why should they?Not everyone has the good fortune to have a loving and understanding partner.Joining fabswingers for me was initially a means to an end,as it were.Looking for something that has been missing for a long time.Things changed very quickly.I find than making new friendships is proving just as important as having fun.......and much easier.....especially as I am "cheating."
Actually I've just decided that my posting is probably going to be taken as a "sad cry for help"But it's not.It is very difficult to get to know people on here as a married man.I'd rather be on here under different circumstances.But I'll make the most of it and carry on finding new friends. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Love this Post...
You find out who all the Judgemental people are
lol
.........and there certainly seen to be plenty!!!!!!
The word"Cheating" is begining to to develop a particularily nasty smell and seems to be very elastic in definition.Unfortunately ones circumstances are not taken into account!Why should they?Not everyone has the good fortune to have a loving and understanding partner.Joining fabswingers for me was initially a means to an end,as it were.Looking for something that has been missing for a long time.Things changed very quickly.I find than making new friendships is proving just as important as having fun.......and much easier.....especially as I am "cheating."
Actually I've just decided that my posting is probably going to be taken as a "sad cry for help"But it's not.It is very difficult to get to know people on here as a married man.I'd rather be on here under different circumstances.But I'll make the most of it and carry on finding new friends."
to cheat,requires an act of deception or
dishonesty.
this is not being judgmental,this is fact,no elasticity.
i'm sure there are many plausible extenuating circumstance,that would cause someone to cheat.never the less it's still cheating.
perhaps the feeling of being judged,is driven more by guilt,than any judgment people are making.
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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago
Lanarkshire |
Dictionary definition.
Cheating refers to immoral way of achieving a goal. It is generally used for the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a competitive situation. The rules infringed may be explicit, or they may be from an unwritten code of conduct based on morality, ethics or custom, making the identification of cheating a subjective process. Cheating can refer specifically to marital infidelity. Someone who is known for cheating is referred to as a cheat in British English, and a cheater in American English |
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The truth is rarely pure and never simple.--Oscar Wilde
This debate is always interesting but ultimately impossible to find a shared concensus-bumboader 
What works for some may not work for others, thats life and as we are (mostly) consenting intelligent adults on here, we can (mostly )make those decisions for ourselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol,i love this post,i play alone,my husband plays alone,we have no secrets,call it what you want but at the end of the day its our business,it works for us and i think 30 years together kinda says it all !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im married. i play alone, my wifes happy, im happy. I don't feel the need to justify myself to others as we are happy and thats what matters.
All i say is that noone knows what life will throw at them.
People who say its cheating or frown upon it may indeed in the future find themselves in a similar position facing similar choices. They cant say what they would do until there actually in that position.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, doesn't bother me, at the end of the day i'm not going to feel bad about it, they are.
It doesn't matter if they say it's fine with their partner, because often enough i've found it's not anyway.
See plenty of BS on here everyday, not going to let that get in the way of some fun...sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i agree the some who say there wifes are happy are indeed not. I admit it comes down to trust when you meet someone or chat to them.
But if there pretending there wife knows. woudnt it just be easier for them to say there single? It would be easier for me my wifes said i should say im single but thats not who i am.
Im not saying anyones wrong or right as i cant as all our opinions are different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I said, I've been told before "it's fine" then in reality, that's not the case. It's decent you are honest, judging by half the stuff I've either read or experienced... Alot of BS goes down on fab... |
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NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am shocked.... 