FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Friends with benifits
Friends with benifits
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By *iimon OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
Hey guys and gals.
I'm just wondering what everyone's experience is with friends with benifits ?
I find that with my job and the hours I work it's super difficult to get in to or stay in a relationship.
I'm thinking I'd like to have someone that I can go along to socials with and have a little fun with, with out the relationship commitments side of things.
What's everyone's experience ?
Siimon exc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in a long term relationship so maybe not the best to comment but having chatted to different folk on here, I would say it is very difficult to find someone who you have genuine chemistry with and yet emotions don't get in the way. Difficult but not impossible maybe. |
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By *iimon OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"How do you expect to keep up the friends side of things if time is an issue?"
I can still meet and do things together. I just don't want to let someone down. It's a difficult one to put in text I guess. |
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By *iimon OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"I'm in a long term relationship so maybe not the best to comment but having chatted to different folk on here, I would say it is very difficult to find someone who you have genuine chemistry with and yet emotions don't get in the way. Difficult but not impossible maybe. "
Thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you expect to keep up the friends side of things if time is an issue?
I can still meet and do things together. I just don't want to let someone down. It's a difficult one to put in text I guess. "
That just makes you sound a bit flaky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they key is maintaining the friends and having benefits that work for both.
Without that it's just a hook up. There's nothing wrong with that either so long as both are in agreement that's all they want |
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By *iimon OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"How do you expect to keep up the friends side of things if time is an issue?
I can still meet and do things together. I just don't want to let someone down. It's a difficult one to put in text I guess.
That just makes you sound a bit flaky "
Your honesty is appreciated |
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By *ewspinMan
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
While back had a friend with benefits and was going good until she said she wanted more as in a relationship but it wasn’t for me and I did tell her this at the start which she was happy with but she grew more feelings so we decided to cut out the benefits and just do the friends stuff...like meals out or cinema dates game of pool...but she missed the intimacy and said she could handle FWB this time as she knew that’s all it would ever be so I agreed and all is going well ....BUT my worry is she still wants more . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they key is maintaining the friends and having benefits that work for both.
Without that it's just a hook up. There's nothing wrong with that either so long as both are in agreement that's all they want "
This is how i see it too but my experience is that often a guy says he wants fwb when actually what he wants is regular hookups ... the friend portion of doesn’t actually cross their mind |
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I think freiends with benefits is doable, this is my preferred approach as I’m not into relationships. But my suggestion is set boundaries and keep them updated, obviously the more your intimate with someone the risk of emotions come into play but as king as the boundaries are revised and adapted according then it can be done. My big thing is honesty in all matters ie if going with others etc. My view is I’m not your gf or wife etc no need to lie to me.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think freiends with benefits is doable, this is my preferred approach as I’m not into relationships. But my suggestion is set boundaries and keep them updated, obviously the more your intimate with someone the risk of emotions come into play but as king as the boundaries are revised and adapted according then it can be done. My big thing is honesty in all matters ie if going with others etc. My view is I’m not your gf or wife etc no need to lie to me.
Good luck "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think freiends with benefits is doable, this is my preferred approach as I’m not into relationships. But my suggestion is set boundaries and keep them updated, obviously the more your intimate with someone the risk of emotions come into play but as king as the boundaries are revised and adapted according then it can be done. My big thing is honesty in all matters ie if going with others etc. My view is I’m not your gf or wife etc no need to lie to me. Definitely right fwb is a bonus lol x you get to know each other's limits and should respect them and think that you are fortunate enough to find one
Good luck
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The longest fwb situation - 6 years
Relationship with structured rules - 6 months.
So yeah, I guess it worked out well for me. The issue of feelings arising is a difficult one. There’s not much difference between a fwb situation and normal romantic relationship. Just that there are less boundaries to adhere to.
I’ve found that the majority of “relationships” are generally fwb anyway, as hardly anyone (at least my age) sticks to monogamy, though they claim to. (which is sad) |
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"How do you expect to keep up the friends side of things if time is an issue?
I can still meet and do things together. I just don't want to let someone down. It's a difficult one to put in text I guess.
That just makes you sound a bit flaky "
Why not explain what you mean when you say it sounds a bit flaky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you expect to keep up the friends side of things if time is an issue?
I can still meet and do things together. I just don't want to let someone down. It's a difficult one to put in text I guess.
That just makes you sound a bit flaky
Why not explain what you mean when you say it sounds a bit flaky. "
Just for your benefit, it means unreliable |
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By *MCFUN5Couple
over a year ago
GLASGOW |
"I think freiends with benefits is doable, this is my preferred approach as I’m not into relationships. But my suggestion is set boundaries and keep them updated, obviously the more your intimate with someone the risk of emotions come into play but as king as the boundaries are revised and adapted according then it can be done. My big thing is honesty in all matters ie if going with others etc. My view is I’m not your gf or wife etc no need to lie to me.
Good luck "
Good advice x |
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I was talking to someone about this a few weeks ago. Unless the person was previously a friend it's really just a hook up. It's hard not to become attached to sum1 your fucking regularly. We are not robots sex and emotions are linked. We agreed if your fucking one person and hanging out with them and not seeing anyone else it's kinda seeing that person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personal experience offeineds with benefits was to have two or three on the go at a time, for me it meant less chance of any emotional attachment and still very good friends with my former fwb some 6-10 years on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The longest fwb situation - 6 years
Relationship with structured rules - 6 months.
So yeah, I guess it worked out well for me. The issue of feelings arising is a difficult one. There’s not much difference between a fwb situation and normal romantic relationship. Just that there are less boundaries to adhere to.
I’ve found that the majority of “relationships” are generally fwb anyway, as hardly anyone (at least my age) sticks to monogamy, though they claim to. (which is sad) "
I’m monogamous in a relationship and folk struggle to understand that when I’m single I’m free to mingle but if I’m seeing someone then I’m all about that one person, however from experience I’ve decided that I’m staying in the scene socialising with my fab friends and the bf knows this, as his BFF and his wife are swingers he knows the scene although he does come along to some events and clubs he’s really shy and doesn’t really like being in social situations very often he gets bad anxiety. I see it all the time in vanilla relationships the lack of monogamy but at least for the most part fabbers are at least honest with their partners and have boundaries and rules in place and safety and health are always at forefront yet it’s the vanillas taking all the i protected d*unken risks and lying all time |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course |
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"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course"
Congratulations! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was talking to someone about this a few weeks ago. Unless the person was previously a friend it's really just a hook up. It's hard not to become attached to sum1 your fucking regularly. We are not robots sex and emotions are linked. We agreed if your fucking one person and hanging out with them and not seeing anyone else it's kinda seeing that person. "
This is why noshrinkingviolet is right ... have more than one and its easier to stay detached
Trouble is finding one can be hard more than one near impossible  |
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I think it’s a trial and error situation, what works with one may not with another. I have read comments of people’s views but like everything the phrase friends with benefits will mean different things to different people.
Re tin man comment then in the past I must be, I was a fwb to a guy for quite a few years and never got emotionally attached, but at same time desired another one a bit more.
It’s a case of what works for you and the other person. Again I’ll reiterate COMMUNICATION is the key. If feels come into play don’t kid yourself to try and keep the situation. Accept and if need be part ways or on the off chance you both want more then there you go xx |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course
Congratulations! "
Thanks stranger nice to see you back. Is that you offering to babysit now so we can go to socials lollllll  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course"
OMG !!! Congratulations you two amazing news  |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course
OMG !!! Congratulations you two amazing news "
Thank you. Hopefully be able to see everyone soon xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think first and foremost your friendship side has to be strong and the benefits is an added extra. The benefits can stop but you can still have the friendship if your both honest right from the start. It's worked for me on several occasions and I'm still friends with my past fbs |
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"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course"
Lovely news, guys! Congratulations to you both! I’ll babysit if it’s my weekend with the bairns! xxx |
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"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course
Congratulations!
Thanks stranger nice to see you back. Is that you offering to babysit now so we can go to socials lollllll "
Of course! You obviously still remember all about my former life as the No.1 babysitter in Scotland! 7 years, no hospital incidents, but a host of broken household appliances and several strips of wallpaper ruined! Whatever keeps them amused, though.
Fantastic news though, pass my best wishes on to Mr too. And bank some sleep, you're going to need it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think first and foremost your friendship side has to be strong and the benefits is an added extra. The benefits can stop but you can still have the friendship if your both honest right from the start. It's worked for me on several occasions and I'm still friends with my past fbs "
Totally agree with this. |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course
Lovely news, guys! Congratulations to you both! I’ll babysit if it’s my weekend with the bairns!xxx"
Thank you. Hahah happy days we are sorted then. Hope your well lovely xx |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
"This is how we started off but got too emotionally attached and here we are 3 years later with baby on the way. Wouldn’t change it for the world but I think realistically it’s difficult not to get that attached to someone you are spending a lot of time with and doing different things with unless you were the tin man with no heart of course
Congratulations!
Thanks stranger nice to see you back. Is that you offering to babysit now so we can go to socials lollllll
Of course! You obviously still remember all about my former life as the No.1 babysitter in Scotland! 7 years, no hospital incidents, but a host of broken household appliances and several strips of wallpaper ruined! Whatever keeps them amused, though.
Fantastic news though, pass my best wishes on to Mr too. And bank some sleep, you're going to need it! "
I shall. Don’t you be forgetting bout my firework pmsl xx |
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