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Hostage situation, EMERGENCY!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages? "
Hot dogs for everyone and I would like to know at least 18 fun facts about pandas before I would even begin to negotiate with anyone.. Standard hostage techniques |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages? "
Nando's, Peri peri chicken, chips, macho peas and a bucket of beer!
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages?
Nando's, Peri peri chicken, chips, macho peas and a bucket of beer!
"
Is macho peas an actual thing or autocorrect? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages?
Nando's, Peri peri chicken, chips, macho peas and a bucket of beer!
Is macho peas an actual thing or autocorrect? "
It's an awesome thing! |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages?
Hot dogs for everyone and I would like to know at least 18 fun facts about pandas before I would even begin to negotiate with anyone.. Standard hostage techniques "
There's only about 1000 pandas left in the wild.
You can have that fact for free |
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"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages?
Hot dogs for everyone and I would like to know at least 18 fun facts about pandas before I would even begin to negotiate with anyone.. Standard hostage techniques
There's only about 1000 pandas left in the wild.
You can have that fact for free "
It may be 999 I heard the zip stuck on Bru’s suit . |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"You've got 18 hostages and the negotiators have just rocked up. What are your demands that must be met to release the hostages?
World peace
Failing that.....
John "
This isn't a Miss World beauty contest |
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"You two decide, you're the ones with the hostages
I thought I had them?
You've got yours, they have theirs. It's been a busy day for the hostage negotiators "
Do all the hostage takers know each other?
Can we trade? I’ll give all my men away for all their women
Then all I demand is a jacuzzi, fresh sheets and a large water bed, then they can come get them in 24 hours |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"You two decide, you're the ones with the hostages
I thought I had them?
You've got yours, they have theirs. It's been a busy day for the hostage negotiators
Do all the hostage takers know each other?
Can we trade? I’ll give all my men away for all their women
Then all I demand is a jacuzzi, fresh sheets and a large water bed, then they can come get them in 24 hours "
you aren't as daft as you look are you |
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"You two decide, you're the ones with the hostages
I thought I had them?
You've got yours, they have theirs. It's been a busy day for the hostage negotiators
Do all the hostage takers know each other?
Can we trade? I’ll give all my men away for all their women
Then all I demand is a jacuzzi, fresh sheets and a large water bed, then they can come get them in 24 hours
you aren't as daft as you look are you "
No ones as daft as I look
I may have planned this years in advance |
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that "
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself |
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself "
A get it but no quite the same. Drank irn bru fae the womb mate was worse than coming aff the fags |
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself
A get it but no quite the same. Drank irn bru fae the womb mate was worse than coming aff the fags"
I’m still enjoying the full sugar stash in my garage |
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself
A get it but no quite the same. Drank irn bru fae the womb mate was worse than coming aff the fags"
I'll give you that one, Jack and Coke's only been my drink of choice since 16 |
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself
A get it but no quite the same. Drank irn bru fae the womb mate was worse than coming aff the fags
I’m still enjoying the full sugar stash in my garage "
Ye needin a new best mate? A can bring pizza |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You two decide, you're the ones with the hostages
I thought I had them?
You've got yours, they have theirs. It's been a busy day for the hostage negotiators
Do all the hostage takers know each other?
Can we trade? I’ll give all my men away for all their women
Then all I demand is a jacuzzi, fresh sheets and a large water bed, then they can come get them in 24 hours
you aren't as daft as you look are you
No ones as daft as I look
I may have planned this years in advance "
Nobody could be that daft! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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20 million in bitcoin
Flight to non extradition country
Safe passage to the flight
Parachutes for the pilots.
Who actually killed JFK
Have I taken this too seriously! That not like me at all |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that
I feel your pain, last night at a gig in London, I was told they had stopped stocking full fat cola when the sugar tax came in and I'd have to settle for Pepsi Max with my Jack Daniels
I was considering taking the bar maids hostage myself
A get it but no quite the same. Drank irn bru fae the womb mate was worse than coming aff the fags
I’m still enjoying the full sugar stash in my garage "
You shouldn't be telling the world that, someone will take you hostage and steal it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d demand they brought back full sugar bru!!! Fuckin body’s still in withdrawal from that "
Do you think anyone has tried adding sugar syrup to new irn bru? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My own private island sonewhere in the south pacific with an endless supply of Merlot and creme eggs.
Suppose I'd need wi-fi too to keep the anklebiters happy.
Is that too demanding? |
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"My own private island sonewhere in the south pacific with an endless supply of Merlot and creme eggs.
Suppose I'd need wi-fi too to keep the anklebiters happy.
Is that too demanding?"
Be stuck on the island wi doggy |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any?? |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any?? "
Awrite furry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any?? "
Hey less of the Nando's slating! Wtf?? |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box"
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol "
They would be good for throwing at people then |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then "
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything "
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar! |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any??
Awrite furry! "
Yep
Can I add??
Jamie Oliver to be slapped until he stops messing with proper food and drink!
|
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any??
Hey less of the Nando's slating! Wtf??"
Take your dried up chicken with chicken and a side of chicken with chicken sauce and a chicken drink and shove it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any??
Awrite furry!
Yep
Can I add??
Jamie Oliver to be slapped until he stops messing with proper food and drink!
"
Can I help you with that cunt Oliver! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
A foot massage to begin with then a neck and back massage, massage oil.
Lots of fabulous underwear, fulliy fashioned stockings in a variety of colours and a few amazing Fabbers that tick my boxes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"£50 billion in an untraceable account
Several private islands in a sun drenched climate (kids on one and naughtiness on the rest)
Which chip shop does Elvis actually work in?
Full fat
Make Barrs change Irn Bru back for Mr Costa
Biggest bed ever made
Biggest hot tub ever made
Lovely fab ladies to fill hot tub AND bed
A genie to grant unlimited wishes
Nandos to be shut down - PERMANANTLY
My old boss strung up naked, upside down, covered in jam.....then dipped in ants
Errrrrrmmmmmm.......
Did I forget any??
Hey less of the Nando's slating! Wtf??
Take your dried up chicken with chicken and a side of chicken with chicken sauce and a chicken drink and shove it "
Steay there Colonel Sanders! they hit you in the pocket? |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar! "
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x |
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"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x "
Haha a violent d*unk |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
Haha a violent d*unk "
You can't beat it |
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"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
Haha a violent d*unk
You can't beat it "
Another violent d*unk |
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By *ab fem OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
Haha a violent d*unk
You can't beat it
Another violent d*unk "
|
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"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
Haha a violent d*unk
You can't beat it
Another violent d*unk
"
I want that haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Money! Loads of it that can't be traced and a very fast car with a very attractive driver.
I'll drive then deal
I like driving fast. Where we going? " you can drop me off at the airport...il be a good tipper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x "
That's more like it, no point in having an empty bottle if you don't glass some cunt! That seems a bit harsh for me! |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
Haha a violent d*unk "
Only to save the curly wurlies… |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
That's more like it, no point in having an empty bottle if you don't glass some cunt! That seems a bit harsh for me! "
Only place I would be throwing the bottles is in the bin... I'm not really a violent person, and never get d*unk enough to be one.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"2 weeks of sunshine, 1 week painfree, 36 hours of sleep, bottle of pink gin and a curly wurly and you can have them back ...
Just the one curly wurly? I'd ask for a box
I'll be too p*shed to eat them all after the gin lol
They would be good for throwing at people then
Good thinking batgirl... Demands have have gone up. Treble everything
You can't throw curly wurlies at people! You need something with a bit more weight, a chunky kit kat, mars bar or similar!
I'll be throwing the empty boxes and bottles haha x
That's more like it, no point in having an empty bottle if you don't glass some cunt! That seems a bit harsh for me!
Only place I would be throwing the bottles is in the bin... I'm not really a violent person, and never get d*unk enough to be one.... "
I'm not violent either, and have only been d*unk once in more than 10 years. That was definitely out of character for me to even use the cunt. Maybe we all have a bit of darkness in us.
But not today because it's the weekend! Woohoo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a different flavor pizza for each hostage delivered by a large breasted woman... that'll do "
They will have guns in the pizza boxes! Lure you in then a couple bullets to the head! School boy error. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a different flavor pizza for each hostage delivered by a large breasted woman... that'll do
They will have guns in the pizza boxes! Lure you in then a couple bullets to the head! School boy error. "
As long as i get a slice I'm happy. Hostage takers never win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a different flavor pizza for each hostage delivered by a large breasted woman... that'll do
They will have guns in the pizza boxes! Lure you in then a couple bullets to the head! School boy error.
As long as i get a slice I'm happy. Hostage takers never win"
I thought you would be after more than a slice! |
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