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Confidence/fabbing with physical health problems
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? "
your a good looking chick blues clues. ( even if you won’t let me perve at your private pictures) sorry to hear things are not good. Soon be a new year my friend. |
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? "
I actually thought thats a shame anyone should feel that way , and i have had friends in the past that also felt that way so i have an understanding of how you feel. Now for the but,
Having read this thread again and paired it with your profile bio i feel you make a lot of assumptions about men and have quite a few demands of them too. Not all guys are the same and not all guys just want or will say anything just for a fuck. So in my opinion while i sympathise with how you feel i now have very little respect for you as an individual. There is a lot nicer ways to say what your looking for . Sorry. Good luck in finding what you seek anyways . Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Things are as good as they will ever be. Health will only get worse. And the thought of being sexless forever isn't great for the confidence either.
Past meets are past meets and not to be repeated... anyone I was interested in meeting again is long gone.
Maybe retirement from sex is the way to go after all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? "
If you get the sense a guys saying anything just for a fuck he's not worth knowing you know yourself there are a few decent folk on here. And don't let health issues Rob you of confidence. I know that's easier said than done but having spoken to you a few time you come across really well |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
It’s a difficult issue. You will have to kiss a few frogs before finding your Prince Charming. Your as likely to find him here as on any dating site so don’t despair.
Be honest about what you are looking for as some don’t want commitment.
Good luck in your quest and look out for Cherub’s speed dating night in the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Things are as good as they will ever be. Health will only get worse. And the thought of being sexless forever isn't great for the confidence either.
Past meets are past meets and not to be repeated... anyone I was interested in meeting again is long gone.
Maybe retirement from sex is the way to go after all"
I guess it depends what your health issues are really.....
Maybe you just need a wee confidence booster.
I had sepsis this year and has to have a lot of surgery so I have a HUGE scar on my butt check that I haven’t shown anyone yet so I know what it’s like to go from being super confident to having an insecurity..... |
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"Things are as good as they will ever be. Health will only get worse. And the thought of being sexless forever isn't great for the confidence either.
Past meets are past meets and not to be repeated... anyone I was interested in meeting again is long gone.
Maybe retirement from sex is the way to go after all
I guess it depends what your health issues are really.....
Maybe you just need a wee confidence booster.
I had sepsis this year and has to have a lot of surgery so I have a HUGE scar on my butt check that I haven’t shown anyone yet so I know what it’s like to go from being super confident to having an insecurity....."
Can't wait to catch-up later #woundporn
John  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Things are as good as they will ever be. Health will only get worse. And the thought of being sexless forever isn't great for the confidence either.
Past meets are past meets and not to be repeated... anyone I was interested in meeting again is long gone.
Maybe retirement from sex is the way to go after all
I guess it depends what your health issues are really.....
Maybe you just need a wee confidence booster.
I had sepsis this year and has to have a lot of surgery so I have a HUGE scar on my butt check that I haven’t shown anyone yet so I know what it’s like to go from being super confident to having an insecurity.....
Can't wait to catch-up later #woundporn
John "
Just spat my gin out laughing at that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Having read this thread again and paired it with your profile bio i feel you make a lot of assumptions about men and have quite a few demands of them too. Not all guys are the same and not all guys just want or will say anything just for a fuck "
My assumptions are based on how the majority of single men on here have presented themselves in the last 7 yrs I've been here. That's been 1000s of messages.
Why shouldn't I have standards of who I choose to have sex with? Surely everyone should be clear about what they want in a partner whether it be a one off or something more.
I used to be very active before my health became preventative so I've found that plain speaking is the only way to go on my profile. Most won't read it anyway but they can't complain if they they get a "no thanks" if they message and aren't for me. At the end of the day it works as a filter both ways doesn't it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Having read this thread again and paired it with your profile bio i feel you make a lot of assumptions about men and have quite a few demands of them too. Not all guys are the same and not all guys just want or will say anything just for a fuck
My assumptions are based on how the majority of single men on here have presented themselves in the last 7 yrs I've been here. That's been 1000s of messages.
Why shouldn't I have standards of who I choose to have sex with? Surely everyone should be clear about what they want in a partner whether it be a one off or something more.
I used to be very active before my health became preventative so I've found that plain speaking is the only way to go on my profile. Most won't read it anyway but they can't complain if they they get a "no thanks" if they message and aren't for me. At the end of the day it works as a filter both ways doesn't it?
"
Your so very right if you don't like someone don't see them your here for you and no one else |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I guess it depends what your health issues are really.....
Maybe you just need a wee confidence booster.
I had sepsis this year and has to have a lot of surgery so I have a HUGE scar on my butt check that I haven’t shown anyone yet so I know what it’s like to go from being super confident to having an insecurity....."
A horrible thing to happen to you
Glad you are feeling better. Remember some blokes are wee boys at heart and love a good scar to compare notes over
I am crippled with arthritis and fibromyalgia. My spine hips and knees seize are causing mobility issues and mean that a lot of regular sexual positions now arent an option. I now use sticks to move about. I struggle getting dressed and undressed and sometimes need help to bathe. There isn't a day that is pain free and being a progressive illness it won't improve. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence?
If you get the sense a guys saying anything just for a fuck he's not worth knowing you know yourself there are a few decent folk on here. And don't let health issues Rob you of confidence. I know that's easier said than done but having spoken to you a few time you come across really well"
Thanks Honey..thats a nice thing to say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence?
If you get the sense a guys saying anything just for a fuck he's not worth knowing you know yourself there are a few decent folk on here. And don't let health issues Rob you of confidence. I know that's easier said than done but having spoken to you a few time you come across really well
Thanks Honey..thats a nice thing to say"
Don't you worry about sharing this amount of personal information on an open forum? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you aren't in the right place you should just knock it on the head completely.
There's profiles various online FAB that are "just here for chat"
Can't relate to that at all. If I want a natter I'd join a club/group.
It's whatever suits YOU of course. And you just have to do what feels OK for you first and foremost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never lower your standards
I've always thought you are great to chat to the way you are
But I get the confidence thing as this place kills mine half the time and makes me very aware that I'm short, have a belt, not dom and well me |
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I think as another poster mentioned you may have to take the chance of kissing a few frogs to find your Prince, which I understand may seem tedious and a bit daunting if you're not feeling super confident within yourself at the moment.
If you do find a potential playmate then perhaps the longer game with lots of communication and chats before deciding to meet might help you feel more confident and comfortable when it comes time to move things to the bedroom, run the gammut of topics, sexual and non sexual to guage their temperament first, from your profile it seems like you may be looking for more than a one off encounter anyway so the groundwork here may be worth it in that case.
It sounds like a lot of work for something that may not always have a pay off or the nagging doubt that it might lead to a meet where you were compatible chatting, sparks flying everywhere only to find that you don't have that same connection when it comes to a physical meet but that's the chance we all take to find the rose growing from the concrete.
Don't give up or get disheartened,I know you may feel down now but if you allow your health issues to rob you of this aspect of your life then it may leave you feeling further depressed.
On the other hand it may be liberating not having to worry about sex anymore, get a good battery powered friend, an even better group of real friends and maybe you won't miss it as much as you fear.
In either case I hope you find what you need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Don't you worry about sharing this amount of personal information on an open forum?
Nope....otherwise I wouldn't have. "
Fair enough. I just think it leaves folk a bit vulnerable to guys getting leery |
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"
Having read this thread again and paired it with your profile bio i feel you make a lot of assumptions about men and have quite a few demands of them too. Not all guys are the same and not all guys just want or will say anything just for a fuck
My assumptions are based on how the majority of single men on here have presented themselves in the last 7 yrs I've been here. That's been 1000s of messages.
Why shouldn't I have standards of who I choose to have sex with? Surely everyone should be clear about what they want in a partner whether it be a one off or something more.
I used to be very active before my health became preventative so I've found that plain speaking is the only way to go on my profile. Most won't read it anyway but they can't complain if they they get a "no thanks" if they message and aren't for me. At the end of the day it works as a filter both ways doesn't it?
"
I agree with your last sentence, it acts as a filter both ways. Most repectful guys WILL read your profile thats a fact and probably not message you due to what your looking for and assuptions about men. The assuption from you is most guys are just looking for a fuck is a possible result of guys looking past your profile and messaging you simply because they do just want to fuck you regardless of what your profile text says. Theres a wee vicious circle there if you think about it. Alienating nice guys, getting messaged by twats looking to fuck only, you adding more demands and assumptions to your profile to deter the twats, alienting even more reasonable guys. Theres a downhill spiral there .I am not trying to be harsh with you OP , i cant imagine being in your shoes and going through what you go through but before giving up completely and going down another spiral of even worse times maybe take a step back, be honest in your profile about your health issues and not assume every guy is bad and just give fab another go with a bit more open-minded outlooks and say why being with you would be good instead of why you dont want to be with them. This is my advice not a dig at you or lack of sympathy towards you. Hope you take it the right way OP xx |
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By *palfruityCouple
over a year ago
Their Own World |
"I am crippled with arthritis and fibromyalgia. My spine hips and knees seize are causing mobility issues and mean that a lot of regular sexual positions now arent an option. I now use sticks to move about. I struggle getting dressed and undressed and sometimes need help to bathe. There isn't a day that is pain free and being a progressive illness it won't improve."
Sweetie, I really feel for you. I have fibromyalgia and it is such a dehabilitating condition. There are days I don't get out of bed and I feel like a useless old woman. It's horrible to feel as though your body is holding you back, I know.
However, I absolutely try to make the most of the times I feel well enough to play. Yes, it hurts and yes, I get exhausted. But I'm still living my life, not letting it drift away from me. I have to accept the physical limitations of what I am capable of sometimes; there's no need to add my own mental limitations on as well. That means I need to recognise when I am not fit enough to play, or even to socialise and by doing that I am not creating bad experiences for myself or partners which could start to create anxiety over playing in the future. By doing this I am better able to gauge whether I can play and to what extent. S and I are not playing at present and, as frustrating as it is, we know that it's what we need to do as the mature response. We both adore impact play and I would dearly love to be able to indulge in this at the moment. Simple fact is, if I'm unwell, I can't. Perhaps I can do other things, perhaps I can do very little. Be realistic about your capabilities and work out achievable goals for your level of health.
Your profile comes across as being emotionally fragile, which is really common with chronic conditions but is not often a good mix if you add casual sex to low self esteem or anxiety. Are you looking for sex, or looking for love?
I wonder if you've had any input from your local Pain Clinic? Combining physical, occupational and psycho therapies to try to tackle your pain really can make a difference. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am crippled with arthritis and fibromyalgia. My spine hips and knees seize are causing mobility issues and mean that a lot of regular sexual positions now arent an option. I now use sticks to move about. I struggle getting dressed and undressed and sometimes need help to bathe. There isn't a day that is pain free and being a progressive illness it won't improve.
Sweetie, I really feel for you. I have fibromyalgia and it is such a dehabilitating condition. There are days I don't get out of bed and I feel like a useless old woman. It's horrible to feel as though your body is holding you back, I know.
However, I absolutely try to make the most of the times I feel well enough to play. Yes, it hurts and yes, I get exhausted. But I'm still living my life, not letting it drift away from me. I have to accept the physical limitations of what I am capable of sometimes; there's no need to add my own mental limitations on as well. That means I need to recognise when I am not fit enough to play, or even to socialise and by doing that I am not creating bad experiences for myself or partners which could start to create anxiety over playing in the future. By doing this I am better able to gauge whether I can play and to what extent. S and I are not playing at present and, as frustrating as it is, we know that it's what we need to do as the mature response. We both adore impact play and I would dearly love to be able to indulge in this at the moment. Simple fact is, if I'm unwell, I can't. Perhaps I can do other things, perhaps I can do very little. Be realistic about your capabilities and work out achievable goals for your level of health.
Your profile comes across as being emotionally fragile, which is really common with chronic conditions but is not often a good mix if you add casual sex to low self esteem or anxiety. Are you looking for sex, or looking for love?
I wonder if you've had any input from your local Pain Clinic? Combining physical, occupational and psycho therapies to try to tackle your pain really can make a difference. "
Thank you for taking the time to reply... and yes fibro is a killer. Coupled with arthritis it isn't much fun. And being single means there isn't anyone to help or support with the essential day to day stuff never mind anything non essential like meets. You are lucky to have a partner to share the load.
I'm surprised you think the profile reads emotionally fragile... it was written when I was well and meeting regularly and dating. I wonder if that's how it comes across without knowing my health issues? As someone above said it comes across as blunt and unfriendly..that's cos I have no tolerance these days for pish!
And yes... Been through the medical merry go round more times than I care to remember. I have numerous other autoimmune diseases which cause more complex issues but that are less disabiling but mean that bouts of extreme exhaustion aren't unusual.I often dont function at all never mind be well enough to follow any exercise or physio programme properly. I do have some monthly appointments that do keep me mobile....and I'm grateful for them. Life would be harder without them.
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I suffer from a disability which affects me every day. Luckily I have my partner who fully supports me and understands it. When my confidence is that low fab is not the place to be. Too many body shamers, judgemental people and the rest.
It’s probably not what you want to hear as isn’t a quick fix as such but you need to find a way to feel good about yourself again before you can put your trust in someone else. I won’t even begin to offer you umpteen ways to do it because what works for one doesn’t for another. Really hope you get your spark back and if you need to chat just message anytime
Mrs |
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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago
Glasgow (for now) |
Having dealt with a partner who suffered from MS for over 20 years, I know way too much about how debilitating pain and fatigue can be.
If you ever feel like needing someone to vent or just unload the build up of frustration to, drop me a line.
I can't promise to solve anything, but its sometimes good just to let it all go...
Jane |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Things are as good as they will ever be. Health will only get worse. And the thought of being sexless forever isn't great for the confidence either.
Past meets are past meets and not to be repeated... anyone I was interested in meeting again is long gone.
Maybe retirement from sex is the way to go after all"
Sorry to hear this lovely. You could try speaking to someone for a little while. Build up a little bit of a camaraderie, so You know they are interested in you as a person and not just an object. You'll find that they will also be a friend then. Hopefully that will help build up your confidence and enable you to feel comfortable meeting others  |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
I have MS plus other medical issues and I am currently sporting a rather fetching nasal feeding tube. My confidence totally hit rock bottom and I am only now gradually getting it back.
I've been in hospital 5 times already this year, currently have a broken arm and I will have more falls as my MS is getting more progressive and aggressive.
At the moment every good day I have is a bonus and that's when I own my disease, it doesn't own me!!
Sorry I don't really have any advice for you right now, but happy to chat any time XXX
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? "
You have my sympathies. I have a number of health issues too, and decided during my recent break that I can't do the meet thing anymore. I am only here now as a full time observer, (not voyeur), to dispense my wisdom and sarcasm, as applicable.
It is the old saying made real: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. |
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence? "
I’ve had problems like this also but if you meet and feel comfortable chatting to person / persons I’m sure like I’ve had they would most definitely cater for your needs and the experience is better than you ever thought  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had 3 meets in last 3 yrs due to health issues. This has had an impact on my confidence both here and in real life.
Tempted to reach out and start meeting again but it has to be the right play mate. The added issue is that many men on here will say anything for a fuck!! Lol
If you have health issues/disabilities...how do you cope when it impacts on your sexual confidence?
I actually thought thats a shame anyone should feel that way , and i have had friends in the past that also felt that way so i have an understanding of how you feel. Now for the but,
Having read this thread again and paired it with your profile bio i feel you make a lot of assumptions about men and have quite a few demands of them too. Not all guys are the same and not all guys just want or will say anything just for a fuck. So in my opinion while i sympathise with how you feel i now have very little respect for you as an individual. There is a lot nicer ways to say what your looking for . Sorry. Good luck in finding what you seek anyways . Xxx "
Bit harsh taking your respect away so easily. I read the OP profile and liked it, clear to the point as she knows what she wants and I understand what she means being a single female on here for years, men will say pretty much anything to get a girl in the sack
Good luck OP. I was out of action for 18 months with a dodgy knee and the confidence took a kicking. I kept chatting and eventually got back out meeting, hope you can too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Don't you worry about sharing this amount of personal information on an open forum?
Nope....otherwise I wouldn't have. "
Quite right.
All I will say is that although some guys will say anything for a shag, there are guys looking for chat as well. I assume they still want to meet people as well, but for myself, I have spoken to some good people here. Ladies who I don't want to meet but want to chat to. Other ladies I would love to meet.
Is the issue that you do want to meet but nothing happened or do you want the conversation but feel it's hard to get it? |
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