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children behaving badly
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Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have kids but there have been times when watching my nieces when they have played up and I've had to tell them off
So I pull them up for their wrong doings, and as I am I realise feck I sound like my dad, then they get in trouble again for making me sound like my dad
So they get punished twice
Once for the thing
Once for the worse thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough. "
You should share that view with others on the children's panel  |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel "
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation. "
Just some good ol fashioned punishment |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment "
If only it was an option eh ?.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?. "
I think they've probably had enough of that |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that"
Thinkings not your forte though,
NEXT.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that"
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem. "
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
As I say.. If you can't see the difference it's your problem.. Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference. |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction
As I say.. If you can't see the difference it's your problem.. Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference. "
Arise Sir Rhodes Boyson |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction
As I say.. If you can't see the difference it's your problem.. Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference.
Arise Sir Rhodes Boyson "
And intelligence enters the debate. . |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction
As I say.. If you can't see the difference it's your problem.. Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference.
Arise Sir Rhodes Boyson
And intelligence enters the debate. . "
Feck you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction
As I say.. If you can't see the difference it's your problem.. Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference.
Arise Sir Rhodes Boyson
And intelligence enters the debate. .
Feck you "
Feck you too..  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters "
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse? "
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction "
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why. "
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying |
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"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying "
No it's not... Beating the shit out of them is.. Screaming and shouting is.. Like everything there are extremes.. But if you only ever deal with extremes then you miss the value... I can see that you only deal with extremes and are incapable of seeing things from a different point of view. . So I will bow out here. The kettle is boiling. |
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As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
|
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"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying "
How many kids you got , wellinever ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying
No it's not... Beating the shit out of them is.. Screaming and shouting is.. Like everything there are extremes.. But if you only ever deal with extremes then you miss the value... I can see that you only deal with extremes and are incapable of seeing things from a different point of view. . So I will bow out here. The kettle is boiling. "
Raising your hand to discipline....especially a child... is a loss of control. I'd suggest it's even more worrying if it's done calmly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying
How many kids you got , wellinever ?"
That's really not any of your business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
"
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion. |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion. "
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it was never the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x |
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"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying
No it's not... Beating the shit out of them is.. Screaming and shouting is.. Like everything there are extremes.. But if you only ever deal with extremes then you miss the value... I can see that you only deal with extremes and are incapable of seeing things from a different point of view. . So I will bow out here. The kettle is boiling.
Raising your hand to discipline....especially a child... is a loss of control. I'd suggest it's even more worrying if it's done calmly "
Maybe you should read this. Section 58 Children Act 2004
Or are this LEGISLATION worrying too ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We've never smacked either of ours. Maybe we've had it easy with two good, easy going kids but a stern talking to has always done the job.
I was hit once by my Dad, not battered but rattled on the arse. Always knew he loved me and would die for me but also made me worried about fucking up or telling him stuff growing up that could make him angry. Maybe I was just a wee snowflake though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You 2 should duet as the discipline masters
I just don't think good parents should be criminalised for the way they choose to discipline their children.. Do you really not see the difference between a corrective smack and real physical abuse?
I see a problem referring to smacking as loving correction
So you have said.. It's a twee statement with no real meaning. Think through what you're saying and come back when you can give a reason why.
It's a sign a parent has lost control...and that's worrying
No it's not... Beating the shit out of them is.. Screaming and shouting is.. Like everything there are extremes.. But if you only ever deal with extremes then you miss the value... I can see that you only deal with extremes and are incapable of seeing things from a different point of view. . So I will bow out here. The kettle is boiling.
Raising your hand to discipline....especially a child... is a loss of control. I'd suggest it's even more worrying if it's done calmly
Maybe you should read this. Section 58 Children Act 2004
Or are this LEGISLATION worrying too ?"
Which particular line should I focus on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it was never the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x"
Quite possibly. But you know your child best and what does and doesn't work.. That's what good parenting is.. Please let me be very clear on this.. I am in no way advocating for child abuse. Nor am I saying that the first, second, third or fourth move is this kind of discipline. Whay I am saying is good parents should not be demonised or criminalised for choosing to use this as part of a larger strategy for parenting. |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it was never the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x"
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it was never the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control. "
It's fear of getting a skelp |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it was never the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
Quite possibly. But you know your child best and what does and doesn't work.. That's what good parenting is.. Please let me be very clear on this.. I am in no way advocating for child abuse. Nor am I saying that the first, second, third or fourth move is this kind of discipline. Whay I am saying is good parents should not be demonised or criminalised for choosing to use this as part of a larger strategy for parenting. "
I agree with you on the but my issue with that it what is deemed to one parent a wee smack might to someone else be more violent etc so where do you draw the guidelines on what is and isn't acceptable?
I mean ive had to physically man handle my child and carry them etc out of situations which for some might be to physical so i guess its not black and white but alot of grey when it comes to how much is to much. X |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control. "
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As discipline goes I'm a less extreme version of my dad. I tell my kids once and they listen. I've smacked them many times. They have a healthy fear which means I've not had to smack them for a long time. I hope my kids bring their kids up the same way I did x |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x"
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is an interesting but very emotive subject.. For once I think it has been debated in a reasonably controlled way.. Hopefully we can see both sides and agree that people have different viewpoints based on our own experiences and understanding.. To the OP I'm sorry if this went off on a tangent that you didn't really intend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
"
You might want to brush up on your understanding of the legislation that applies in Scotland |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
"
I think your kids are older now HeDevil but did you never worry that the "fear" could mean they would hold back from telling you other things growing up incase they got into trouble? |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
"
Yes but not all children would accept the fear and learn from it the first, second or third time so when does that skelp everytime they misbehave then become the norm, or unltimatley in sone cases abuse? X |
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As a mother of two children with additional needs, I 've never had to raise my hand or raise my voice.
They ain't perfectly behaved either but they know their boundaries.Get folk telling me all the time don't give them into trouble if they have done something wrong, who the are anyone to tell me how to parent my kid's.
Got to laugh children's reporter/ social work
My kids have been failed by alot of services due the fact all the bad boy's & girls becoming a priority over them!!
What's wrong in Alot of these cases is there's no boundaries/discipline at home.
So they do what the fuck they want!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they? "
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences."
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a mother of two children with additional needs, I 've never had to raise my hand or raise my voice.
They ain't perfectly behaved either but they know their boundaries.Get folk telling me all the time don't give them into trouble if they have done something wrong, who the are anyone to tell me how to parent my kid's.
Got to laugh children's reporter/ social work
My kids have been failed by alot of services due the fact all the bad boy's & girls becoming a priority over them!!
What's wrong in Alot of these cases is there's no boundaries/discipline at home.
So they do what the fuck they want!!"
tried to pm u Mrs bit i can't :-/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass. "
The law wouldn't class them as good parents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents "
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history. |
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"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
I think your kids are older now HeDevil but did you never worry that the "fear" could mean they would hold back from telling you other things growing up incase they got into trouble? "
As said lots of times Doggy , i have a lot of time for young people and that included my own kids, i had a shit time at school and KNEW the questions to ask my kids when they came home , obviously not every day but enough times. I never waited to be told something, i asked the questions in a way i got truthful answers , 3 kids who have never touched drugs , who are happily settled and working and 3 and a half grandkids , all of them know they can ask me for anything , i cant ask for much else. Skelps worked for them in the early years . In my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history. "
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a parent of a child who has other quirks that means he cannot actually control his behaviour and impulses its worrying to think how many people/ parents who might not know there is other things going on to think its ok to give their child a smack.
As a parent with a child like that all it would do in my view is make it ok for that child to do the same.
I think there is 101 other ways to discipline a child without it being physical.
Again this is just my view. X
I agree with you.. To a point..itnshoukdnt be the first thing you go to.. As wellinever correctly said, this shows a parent out of control (if it's the go to move) . But it should not be taken away as an option.. In my opinion.
And your completely intitled to your opinion as everyone is.
I am just saying in my personal view and life it would have no positive reinforcement for my child no matter what situation or enviromemt it was in.
I also wonder if it is some what generational. I was never smacked as a child so it wasforever the norm so maybe if it was theb people with different experiences of it may have different views of it x
I agree pinup. Its not of use in some circumstances and obviously in those situations where it serves no purpose then it crosses the line to abuse. In our house it WAS used in a way that after the first couple of occasions the mere threat of getting yer erse skelped was enough to control naughty behaviour. To the point where you said tidy your room , and the room was tidied. Thats not fear thats parental control.
Again for me its back to that grey area is it parental control or is it fear?? Its different for different people and that's where i would struggle to see how its beneficial x
Ok i will backtrack a little , to you pinup and wellinever, yes it is fear. Fear of that skelp they got at that age when they could understand what a skelp on the bum was. The fact that they very very rarely had to repeat that process as they quickly understood how to be a behaved child the threat was never needed after about a month. Doing as they were told was the norm.
I think your kids are older now HeDevil but did you never worry that the "fear" could mean they would hold back from telling you other things growing up incase they got into trouble?
As said lots of times Doggy , i have a lot of time for young people and that included my own kids, i had a shit time at school and KNEW the questions to ask my kids when they came home , obviously not every day but enough times. I never waited to be told something, i asked the questions in a way i got truthful answers , 3 kids who have never touched drugs , who are happily settled and working and 3 and a half grandkids , all of them know they can ask me for anything , i cant ask for much else. Skelps worked for them in the early years . In my opinion. "
|
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"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change "
And the parent that gets arrested for tapping the child on the hand for going to clap a stray dog do they get campaign time in jail too. A tap on the hand constitutes assault to. Or does the parent just stand back and say honey thats naughty clapping that pitbull. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change "
Once again you miss the point.. But you are right.. Those who believe the law is wrong will face the consequences, be criminalised and I guess in your black and white world that would never question the law makers of our nation quite rightly so.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
And the parent that gets arrested for tapping the child on the hand for going to clap a stray dog do they get campaign time in jail too. A tap on the hand constitutes assault to. Or does the parent just stand back and say honey thats naughty clapping that pitbull. ?"
Well they may only do it a maximum of twice... Problem solved. |
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"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
And the parent that gets arrested for tapping the child on the hand for going to clap a stray dog do they get campaign time in jail too. A tap on the hand constitutes assault to. Or does the parent just stand back and say honey thats naughty clapping that pitbull. ?
Well they may only do it a maximum of twice... Problem solved. "
Its no really funny necked its sad.
I bet most people have slapped the hand of a child that goes to touch an oven door or a cooker or fire etc something that will harm them. Those people are criminals now in the eyes of the SCOTTISH parliament. Thats a tragedy for kids not a help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
Once again you miss the point.. But you are right.. Those who believe the law is wrong will face the consequences, be criminalised and I guess in your black and white world that would never question the law makers of our nation quite rightly so.."
My world has a broad spectrum of colours...but I'm not blinkered enough to think that the law is not able to be applied rationally.
The example given by your fellow discipline master indicates otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
And the parent that gets arrested for tapping the child on the hand for going to clap a stray dog do they get campaign time in jail too. A tap on the hand constitutes assault to. Or does the parent just stand back and say honey thats naughty clapping that pitbull. ?
Well they may only do it a maximum of twice... Problem solved.
Its no really funny necked its sad.
I bet most people have slapped the hand of a child that goes to touch an oven door or a cooker or fire etc something that will harm them. Those people are criminals now in the eyes of the SCOTTISH parliament. Thats a tragedy for kids not a help. "
I fully agree with you devil. I apologise that my sarcasm didn't come across in that comment. It is ridiculous and a failing on the children of our nation and future generations too.. |
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"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
Once again you miss the point.. But you are right.. Those who believe the law is wrong will face the consequences, be criminalised and I guess in your black and white world that would never question the law makers of our nation quite rightly so..
My world has a broad spectrum of colours...but I'm not blinkered enough to think that the law is not able to be applied rationally.
The example given by your fellow discipline master indicates otherwise "
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
That does not sound like someone that thinks the law will be applied rationally , wellinever, im just quoting you here. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"agreed well I never... the law on this is quite clear
I agree to.. The law is quite clear. But then again I suppose laws are never wrong are they?
They're laws though...even Santa isn't immune from having to abide or face the consequences.
That is precisely my point.. How many times.. I don't think good parents should be criminalised because the law is an ass.
The law wouldn't class them as good parents
There are so many cases in history when the law said something was wrong but then the law changed.. Or something was OK and the it changed. Just because the law says it, does not mean the law is right.. It means that people either choose to obey the law or break the law because they feel it is an unjust law and then suffer the consequences. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.. I just wonder how we will look back on this period of history.
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
Once again you miss the point.. But you are right.. Those who believe the law is wrong will face the consequences, be criminalised and I guess in your black and white world that would never question the law makers of our nation quite rightly so..
My world has a broad spectrum of colours...but I'm not blinkered enough to think that the law is not able to be applied rationally.
The example given by your fellow discipline master indicates otherwise
If you get caught administering some loving correction and have to face the consequences you'll have plenty of time to campaign for change
That does not sound like someone that thinks the law will be applied rationally , wellinever, im just quoting you here. ?"
I was being facetious...there's no emoji to make that obvious |
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"As a mother of two children with additional needs, I 've never had to raise my hand or raise my voice.
They ain't perfectly behaved either but they know their boundaries.Get folk telling me all the time don't give them into trouble if they have done something wrong, who the are anyone to tell me how to parent my kid's.
Got to laugh children's reporter/ social work
My kids have been failed by alot of services due the fact all the bad boy's & girls becoming a priority over them!!
What's wrong in Alot of these cases is there's no boundaries/discipline at home.
So they do what the fuck they want!!"
This my child has disipline at home and there are consequences for his actions and i do follow threw on taking his tablet or privledges etc away. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My world has a broad spectrum of colours...but I'm not blinkered enough to think that the law is not able to be applied rationally.
The example given by your fellow discipline master indicates otherwise
If you think that laws are applied rationally then you are blinkered. |
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"Wasnt much telling off in my house as a child, thats what fathers belt was for. We downgraded to a skelp on the erse for our kids and now its all pc and feckin naughty steps , no wonder kids are becoming more and more soft. They've never had it tough.
You should share that view with others on the children's panel
Ahhh The great misconception about the childrens panel. I was the same too though, i thought it was all about kids being bad too.
Unfortunately the reality is about 80 % of kids passing through the panel these days is to do with neglect. Kids in YOUR street or mine or next door that dont have basic care or a normal childhood free from sexual abuse or serious physical or mental abuse not simply bad kids. Put it this way never in my time on the panel was the naughty step ever a recommendation.
Just some good ol fashioned punishment
If only it was an option eh ?.
I think they've probably had enough of that
The problem is people can't see the difference between abuse and loving correction.. There is a bug difference between kicking the shit out of your kids and a corrective smack.. I had both growing up.. There needs to be more instruction on responsibilities and consequences of actions as well as rights. If you don't know the difference then that's your problem.
I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed |
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I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm?? |
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"I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm?? "
Where do you define normal though, some are none, some are one , you know where i stopped pinup lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
Word choice "
I don't understand your comment.. I have asked a reasonable question.. Why is it a bigger problem.. What are your reasons for saying this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My world has a broad spectrum of colours...but I'm not blinkered enough to think that the law is not able to be applied rationally.
The example given by your fellow discipline master indicates otherwise
If you think that laws are applied rationally then you are blinkered. "
Santa is in a nit picking mood...I said able to be applied rationally. That's less absolute than your statement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
Word choice
I don't understand your comment.. I have asked a reasonable question.. Why is it a bigger problem.. What are your reasons for saying this.
"
Loving correction administered by physical contact is a bit of an oxymoron in my world |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem? "
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x |
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"I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm?? "
But yes i would step in if it was outwith my definition of a child being disiplined, definitely. |
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"I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm??
Where do you define normal though, some are none, some are one , you know where i stopped pinup lol. "
Well i suppose it would be whatever the norm is to you?
Like i have a neighbour who i did report he lived across the road from me i was ground floor he was top and with my window and doors sgut and hia the same i could hear him scremaing and swearing at his kids all under 10. I have no idea if it went further than that but it was constantly from like 7am. Turns out social work were already involved with them, but for me i would never bave forgiven myself if something had happened x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm??
Where do you define normal though, some are none, some are one , you know where i stopped pinup lol. "
A norm is considered as the accepted and expected way to respond in a situation by the majority of a society |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x "
This is the perfect answer for me. I never want my child to frel scared of approaching me or talking to me or showing emotion whatever one it may be x |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x "
You cant have any of those things without dicipline im afraid. |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
You cant have any of those things without dicipline im afraid. "
But dicipline doesnt need to be physical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x "
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience. "
So by that reasoning it's only okay to smack a child if they are putting themselves at risk, but not for not doing what they are told?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think being a parent is a learning curve for everyone and discipline and smaking a child is never going to be something everyone agrees on.
I wanna throw a wee curve ball in. How many of u regardless of if you are for ir against smacking would say something to someone doing it if you seeb it and thought it was outwith the norm?? "
I'm for smacking. I wouldn't bat am eyelid if someone was giving there child a skelp. Inside I think aww I remember what it felt like but I think well they won't do that again x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience.
So by that reasoning it's only okay to smack a child if they are putting themselves at risk, but not for not doing what they are told?
"
If that's how you interpret it then that's your conclusion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
This is the perfect answer for me. I never want my child to frel scared of approaching me or talking to me or showing emotion whatever one it may be x"
I smacked my kids and they tell me everything. I have a great relationship with my kids. I don't see a connection with the two x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience.
So by that reasoning it's only okay to smack a child if they are putting themselves at risk, but not for not doing what they are told?
If that's how you interpret it then that's your conclusion. "
I'm seeking clarity if I misinterpreted |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
You cant have any of those things without dicipline im afraid.
But dicipline doesnt need to be physical "
So then it becomes psychological abuse , maybe , taking away privaledges, grounding, making them sit alone on a stair thinking about their actions , my opinion is that would make them resent you more and have more time to think about it sat there alone.
Again my opinion only K.
For your situation i dont have the answers for my kids i knew what worked and very very rarely had to repeat my solution. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.  |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience. "
Why would a smack enlighten them as to why their behaviour is putting them at risk somehow? Words tend to work better for that. Examples. Especially when you're dealing with kids under 5 who haven't developed enough impulse control to stop themselves doing something daft. Older for ones with learning and developmental delays.
Don't get me wrong - when the feral toddler has bolted on to a road he's been grabbed by the first part I could reach and hauled back. When he's been lying on a garden centre floor, kicking and screaming he's been picked up and moved out the way of breakables and people so I could help him calm down. I don't know what a smack would have done in either case apart from teach him that it OK to hit others.
There are other ways to discipline when it's really needed. What's needed more often though is a discussion on empathy, kindness and consent.
V x
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I don't discipline the same way my parents did, my discipline is more europeanised.
My discipline has changed as they grow older.
But I am firm and clear about what I expect from them and the household values.
They know that I am not their friend, I am the Mother... with a big M
|
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek. "
Because you're condoning physical violence as an act of love. There's little difference between hitting an adult for a misbehaviour when all involved should know better and an adult hitting a child who, most likely, genuinely doesn't understand what they've done wrong or have the impulse control to stop themselves.
A correction would be explaining why what they did was wrong and what they could have done instead. That's loving.
A smack is a reaction and is neither loving nor really correcting.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek. "
Read further back...I offered it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't discipline the same way my parents did, my discipline is more europeanised.
My discipline has changed as they grow older.
But I am firm and clear about what I expect from them and the household values.
They know that I am not their friend, I am the Mother... with a big M
"
I admire the way you say you're not their friend but their mother,well done it's great knowing that old traditional values are still carrying on these days, it never done me wrong when I was growing as my mother had to play both mum and dad roles as he worked away most of the time.
Sometimes we forget that our children are one day going to be parents themselves so it's important they learn the same values you're trying to instill in them right now.
Something tells me they will do ok |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience.
Why would a smack enlighten them as to why their behaviour is putting them at risk somehow? Words tend to work better for that. Examples. Especially when you're dealing with kids under 5 who haven't developed enough impulse control to stop themselves doing something daft. Older for ones with learning and developmental delays.
Don't get me wrong - when the feral toddler has bolted on to a road he's been grabbed by the first part I could reach and hauled back. When he's been lying on a garden centre floor, kicking and screaming he's been picked up and moved out the way of breakables and people so I could help him calm down. I don't know what a smack would have done in either case apart from teach him that it OK to hit others.
There are other ways to discipline when it's really needed. What's needed more often though is a discussion on empathy, kindness and consent.
V x
"
Ahh 2 very good examples V and W . The first with the road would never happen as when we shouted stop that was a key word that it was time to NOT do something and if continued would result in a bum skelp. Bourne out of past experience when they continued doing something after being told to stop. The floor tantrum, you say you let it continue just from a safer place. Again stop it now and it was over , again from previous ' discussions'. I sound like a basss but by the time they were 4 or 5 ish these methods were not required, the rules and disipline and expectations from all of us were understood by parent and child. As max says. The rules of who was in charge were known. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it"
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there. "
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience.
Why would a smack enlighten them as to why their behaviour is putting them at risk somehow? Words tend to work better for that. Examples. Especially when you're dealing with kids under 5 who haven't developed enough impulse control to stop themselves doing something daft. Older for ones with learning and developmental delays.
Don't get me wrong - when the feral toddler has bolted on to a road he's been grabbed by the first part I could reach and hauled back. When he's been lying on a garden centre floor, kicking and screaming he's been picked up and moved out the way of breakables and people so I could help him calm down. I don't know what a smack would have done in either case apart from teach him that it OK to hit others.
There are other ways to discipline when it's really needed. What's needed more often though is a discussion on empathy, kindness and consent.
V x
Ahh 2 very good examples V and W . The first with the road would never happen as when we shouted stop that was a key word that it was time to NOT do something and if continued would result in a bum skelp. Bourne out of past experience when they continued doing something after being told to stop. The floor tantrum, you say you let it continue just from a safer place. Again stop it now and it was over , again from previous ' discussions'. I sound like a basss but by the time they were 4 or 5 ish these methods were not required, the rules and disipline and expectations from all of us were understood by parent and child. As max says. The rules of who was in charge were known. "
Did I say they had happened again? No, they haven't. It was explained to him each time why what had happened was dangerous or not how to behave and what was expected instead. With the tantrum we went somewhere quiet he could be cuddled and held, allowed to have emotions and have those respected. Again, not happened again. He knows he's listened to and safe.
V x |
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"I don't discipline the same way my parents did, my discipline is more europeanised.
My discipline has changed as they grow older.
But I am firm and clear about what I expect from them and the household values.
They know that I am not their friend, I am the Mother... with a big M
I admire the way you say you're not their friend but their mother,well done it's great knowing that old traditional values are still carrying on these days, it never done me wrong when I was growing as my mother had to play both mum and dad roles as he worked away most of the time.
Sometimes we forget that our children are one day going to be parents themselves so it's important they learn the same values you're trying to instill in them right now.
Something tells me they will do ok "
Thanks and they better... or else lol
My son told me one day, out of the blue, when he was 15 that I brought him up well... my reply was... my job is not over and that a parent does their best and sometimes will get it wrong but they have their child best interest at heart  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Because you're condoning physical violence as an act of love. There's little difference between hitting an adult for a misbehaviour when all involved should know better and an adult hitting a child who, most likely, genuinely doesn't understand what they've done wrong or have the impulse control to stop themselves.
A correction would be explaining why what they did was wrong and what they could have done instead. That's loving.
A smack is a reaction and is neither loving nor really correcting.
V x"
Thank you Vanessa. I understand your point of view.. I do disagree with parts of it though.. Smacking as a reaction I agree with.. Smacking as part of an overall parenting strategy is what I would advocate.. Talking, explaining should always be the biggest part of it.. But there comes a point where a deterant is necessary and criminalising good loving parents for choosing what their deterant is, in my opinion is wrong. There is a world of difference between abuse and what we are discussing here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms"
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference. |
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"With the tantrum we went somewhere quiet he could be cuddled and held, allowed to have emotions and have those respected. Again, not happened again. He knows he's listened to and safe.
V x"
Would you do proceed this way if the tantrum was caused by the fact that you did not want to buy a toy for instance and they were having a melt down in the middle of the shop?
Not questioning your parenting, just interested.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference. "
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
Agreed
Would you tell me why this is a bigger problem?
As an adult, if your partner asked you three times to do the dishes and you didn't do them or said something cheeky back and they smacked you, would that be 'loving correction' or spousal abuse?
Kids are hard work. They're stressful. It's hard not to shout sometimes. Especially when they're feral wee beasties at times but the idea is to model the behaviours you want to see in them. I want my kids to be kind, empathetic and confident. I want them to be able to look after themselves and help others. I want them to work hard for what they want. So that's what we try to teach them. We do that by setting good examples.
V x
The analogy doesn't quite fit for me Vanessa.. The difference is you are talking about a full grown adult making their choice not to do something and a child who is posing a risk to themselves because they don't know better.. I agree with what you say about what we want for our children.. The two things are not mutually exclusive in my opinion and experience.
Why would a smack enlighten them as to why their behaviour is putting them at risk somehow? Words tend to work better for that. Examples. Especially when you're dealing with kids under 5 who haven't developed enough impulse control to stop themselves doing something daft. Older for ones with learning and developmental delays.
Don't get me wrong - when the feral toddler has bolted on to a road he's been grabbed by the first part I could reach and hauled back. When he's been lying on a garden centre floor, kicking and screaming he's been picked up and moved out the way of breakables and people so I could help him calm down. I don't know what a smack would have done in either case apart from teach him that it OK to hit others.
There are other ways to discipline when it's really needed. What's needed more often though is a discussion on empathy, kindness and consent.
V x
Ahh 2 very good examples V and W . The first with the road would never happen as when we shouted stop that was a key word that it was time to NOT do something and if continued would result in a bum skelp. Bourne out of past experience when they continued doing something after being told to stop. The floor tantrum, you say you let it continue just from a safer place. Again stop it now and it was over , again from previous ' discussions'. I sound like a basss but by the time they were 4 or 5 ish these methods were not required, the rules and disipline and expectations from all of us were understood by parent and child. As max says. The rules of who was in charge were known.
Did I say they had happened again? No, they haven't. It was explained to him each time why what had happened was dangerous or not how to behave and what was expected instead. With the tantrum we went somewhere quiet he could be cuddled and held, allowed to have emotions and have those respected. Again, not happened again. He knows he's listened to and safe.
V x"
You have a fair point there v, its just differing opinions as necked said earlier, time will tell in the future generations how effective it is.
That said look at teenagers today, they now are suffering more and more pschological problems, depression, hurt feelings , unable to cope with life, softer, snowflake types. I would say the softly softy approach is already having a huge impact on young people already, they are not prepared for the big bad world out there. Again my opinion only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference.
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa "
Or maybe you weren't sure why, you were repeating something you heard and had no real basis for agreement and Vanessa offered you one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference.
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa
Or maybe you weren't sure why, you were repeating something you heard and had no real basis for agreement and Vanessa offered you one. "
I'm sure i knew exactly what I meant when I used the words oxymoron and contradiction of terms.
I'm not sure if you're suggesting I provide longer answers to your questions or just choosing to nit pick though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the upshot is.. As parents we raise our kids to the best of our ability and that will change as they get older. But we do that in the ways that feel most comfortable to us, that we can live with and feels right. Yes we might disagree with each other onnhere but if we are good parents all we want is the best for our children.. My children, whatever strategy I chose, know I love them and would do anything for them.. They know they can come to me with any issue and receive advice, love, understanding and yes.. Pointing out where they are wrong.. |
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Because you're condoning physical violence as an act of love. There's little difference between hitting an adult for a misbehaviour when all involved should know better and an adult hitting a child who, most likely, genuinely doesn't understand what they've done wrong or have the impulse control to stop themselves.
A correction would be explaining why what they did was wrong and what they could have done instead. That's loving.
A smack is a reaction and is neither loving nor really correcting.
V x"
what most seem to forget is that a smack is not the first option.
my children very rarely got a smack because they knew boundaries and understood that bad behaviour would not be tolerated.
I know folk will say a smack is an act of violence but in some troubled children the sit and chat about it simply dosnt work.
Kids are not stupid they learn to play their parents/guardians they know just how far they can push the boundaries.
so for me it was about hard boundaries which they learned not to cross .
most times with a dont do that or go to your room no electronics.
a big problem in my mind is its not the kids fault its the parents/guardians not providing good guidance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Because you're condoning physical violence as an act of love. There's little difference between hitting an adult for a misbehaviour when all involved should know better and an adult hitting a child who, most likely, genuinely doesn't understand what they've done wrong or have the impulse control to stop themselves.
A correction would be explaining why what they did was wrong and what they could have done instead. That's loving.
A smack is a reaction and is neither loving nor really correcting.
V xwhat most seem to forget is that a smack is not the first option.
my children very rarely got a smack because they knew boundaries and understood that bad behaviour would not be tolerated.
I know folk will say a smack is an act of violence but in some troubled children the sit and chat about it simply dosnt work.
Kids are not stupid they learn to play their parents/guardians they know just how far they can push the boundaries.
so for me it was about hard boundaries which they learned not to cross .
most times with a dont do that or go to your room no electronics.
a big problem in my mind is its not the kids fault its the parents/guardians not providing good guidance"
Exactly.. It's been stated a few times.. It's part of a larger parenting strategy.. Not the go to move. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference.
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa
Or maybe you weren't sure why, you were repeating something you heard and had no real basis for agreement and Vanessa offered you one.
I'm sure i knew exactly what I meant when I used the words oxymoron and contradiction of terms.
I'm not sure if you're suggesting I provide longer answers to your questions or just choosing to nit pick though "
I think I was quite clear when I asked for what you meant by the statement. I don't do nit picking, you of all people should know that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference.
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa
Or maybe you weren't sure why, you were repeating something you heard and had no real basis for agreement and Vanessa offered you one.
I'm sure i knew exactly what I meant when I used the words oxymoron and contradiction of terms.
I'm not sure if you're suggesting I provide longer answers to your questions or just choosing to nit pick though
I think I was quite clear when I asked for what you meant by the statement. I don't do nit picking, you of all people should know that. "
The statement was self explanatory |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a bigger problem referring to a smack as loving correction "
I have saught clarity on this statement... I guess we don't always get what we seek.
Read further back...I offered it
No you didn't you said it was an oxymoron in your world.. No clarity there.
Loving correction by the administration of physical punishment is a contradiction of terms
Vanessa said why she believes it is a contradiction. You haven't. Big difference.
I thought you capable of working out the obvious. I'm in agreement with Vanessa
Or maybe you weren't sure why, you were repeating something you heard and had no real basis for agreement and Vanessa offered you one.
I'm sure i knew exactly what I meant when I used the words oxymoron and contradiction of terms.
I'm not sure if you're suggesting I provide longer answers to your questions or just choosing to nit pick though
I think I was quite clear when I asked for what you meant by the statement. I don't do nit picking, you of all people should know that.
The statement was self explanatory "
I guess we will have to agree to disagree on that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am an adult survivor of child neglect and abuse.
I was beaten and left to my own devices on a regular basis.
My father was a former Special Forces soldier who kicked the shit out of if he was having a bad day.
As a counsellor/psychotherapist I recognise now that he probably suffered from PTSD and married to my narcissistic mother didn’t help his cause
She tried to mould me into her little slave with both physical and mental abuse.
I NEVER lifted a hand to either of my kids all it took was a look or change in tone of my voice.
This also works with my grandkids, although the oldest is starting to find which buttons to press to wind people up.
I’ve never been an advocate of corporal punishment especially with my own upbringing and mental health issues I now suffer as a consequence
Watching my grandson’s friends today getting involved at school with the humiliation and attempted beating of an older girl was like a scene from Grand Theft Auto or Fortnite which they are all glued to.
For his part he will come home tonight to a confiscation of all his electric devices and yes he will get all the shit chores to do before his parents come home. Neither I nor his mum and dad will lift a hand to him, a serious lecture and loss of privileges will suffice
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