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Sexual harassment relentless for girls and women
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"It depends on how you react to the comment or actions. Some women might be horrified whereas someone else may see it funny. I have not noticed it becoming worse and feel sorry for guys these days as they need to tread very carefully around women in case they get accused of sexual misconduct." I think most decent men don't have to worry about it at all | |||
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"Saw an item about this on the news. New stats suggest this is the worst it has ever been, from sexual harassment at work to young women being harassed in the street and even school girls being harassed. Has it always been as bad as this? Or are we more aware and women are speaking out more? " I'd say it's always been as bad, just social media being so popular, makes everything seem worse than before! | |||
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"Listened to it on Radio 5 this morning and it does seem to be a big problem. Like the girl said, Men should think of these women as their daughters or wives and see how they would feel if it happened to them." I suspect some of 'these' men treat their wives at least in similar ways | |||
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"It depends on how you react to the comment or actions. Some women might be horrified whereas someone else may see it funny. I have not noticed it becoming worse and feel sorry for guys these days as they need to tread very carefully around women in case they get accused of sexual misconduct." Exactly this. I also listened to the radio show this morning and yes some of it was bang out of order but some was a case of the woman being part of todays snowflake groups . One fathers advice was to avoid it as she should not have to deal with things like that in life , workplace banter. Young people dont have a clue how to deal with life these days as there to overly protected from absolutely everything. In 10 years any country in the world could invade us and all they will need to do is tell the young people they will attack them with some silver tongued banter if they dont surrender. Its embarrassing. | |||
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"Idont feel its too bad out n about but i find it absolutely horrible online its so much worse over dating sites facebook ect its almost like were only signing up to be objectified by men " I don't use Facebook or twitter and I'd expect there shouldn't be much hassle with the new online laws coming into place regarding online abuse etc... The dating sites which I'm not in POF I would have thought the same. Obviously in here we all hear about sexual abusive messages being sent or shown copies of such so we know It happens here but nit used any of theses other sites, programs etc... yiu think there would be more protection  | |||
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"Listened to it on Radio 5 this morning and it does seem to be a big problem. Like the girl said, Men should think of these women as their daughters or wives and see how they would feel if it happened to them." Or they could just be decent men and treat women as equals | |||
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"Listened to it on Radio 5 this morning and it does seem to be a big problem. Like the girl said, Men should think of these women as their daughters or wives and see how they would feel if it happened to them. Or they could just be decent men and treat women as equals " Have you seen how men behave with one another? Harassment claims would rocket. | |||
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"Saw an item about this on the news. New stats suggest this is the worst it has ever been, from sexual harassment at work to young women being harassed in the street and even school girls being harassed. Has it always been as bad as this? Or are we more aware and women are speaking out more? " It's different generation so hard to tell. I have 4 brothers, grew up with "male banter" and a typical male in charge household. The respect was always there tho. Don't know if you can put it down to generation, if your an arsehole your an arsehole  | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. " But thats a fear thing thats being drummed into women and young people. Yes , women will always need to take basic safety steps on nights out but attacks on women are reducing year on year due to better reporting , better convictions and more awareness but you cant also lead your lives hiding from life. And not everything is abuse , its just the line has moved a good bit in favour of tge women which is fine but even lots of women think the line has gone to far. | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. But thats a fear thing thats being drummed into women and young people. Yes , women will always need to take basic safety steps on nights out but attacks on women are reducing year on year due to better reporting , better convictions and more awareness but you cant also lead your lives hiding from life. And not everything is abuse , its just the line has moved a good bit in favour of tge women which is fine but even lots of women think the line has gone to far. " It was drummed into me and my sister from a very early age. Don't be by yourself, watch your drink, look out for each other, keep in touch. When my brothers went out they got be careful, be respectful, have a good time and look out for your sisters. To this day it still is | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. But thats a fear thing thats being drummed into women and young people. Yes , women will always need to take basic safety steps on nights out but attacks on women are reducing year on year due to better reporting , better convictions and more awareness but you cant also lead your lives hiding from life. And not everything is abuse , its just the line has moved a good bit in favour of tge women which is fine but even lots of women think the line has gone to far. It was drummed into me and my sister from a very early age. Don't be by yourself, watch your drink, look out for each other, keep in touch. When my brothers went out they got be careful, be respectful, have a good time and look out for your sisters. To this day it still is "Yes and thats still great advice, and following those simple rules hopefully you have never been in any dodgy , real endangered situations. Of course attacks happen but not as many as people are led to believe.  | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. But thats a fear thing thats being drummed into women and young people. Yes , women will always need to take basic safety steps on nights out but attacks on women are reducing year on year due to better reporting , better convictions and more awareness but you cant also lead your lives hiding from life. And not everything is abuse , its just the line has moved a good bit in favour of tge women which is fine but even lots of women think the line has gone to far. " No one is hiding, don't know where you got that from. These are basic steps women have to take on a daily basis. Abuse and harassment, like bullying, are defined by the victim, not the perpetrator. So a guy claiming that it's just 'banter' while the victim is clearly upset/unnerved/feels unsafe or threatened - nope, doesn't fly I'm afraid. Also in response to another poster, no one has ever said that men don't get attacked. What is fact is that the people being attacked are overwhelmingly female, by male attackers. There seems to be an undercurrent of men trying to undermine womens' experience by saying 'well it happens to men too', while completely ignoring the fact that they don't have the same experiences or have to take the same precautions as women do. Yes it happens to men. But we're not talking about you, so stop making it about you. One major question: if a man is attacked, reports it, there is an arrest leading to a court case - how many of those men will be questioned about what they were wearing or how much they had to drink? None, is most likely the answer. Yet women are expected to shoulder that responsibility, that it's their fault they drew someone's attention. Complete bollocks, and insulting. We are not responsible for men's actions. So no, I don't believe that the conviction rate has got better, not noticeably anyway. I really hope that begins to change now. | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. " Hope I haven't picked you up wrong but if I have I'm sorry I'm gonna go out on a limb here but can't it not be the same fir SOME men receiving sexual harassment from a woman at work. I know fir a fact of two cases of sexual harassment happen of men by woman at Glasgow Aurport 
One thing that strikes me growing up until now. I could go out at 10am on a Saturday morning and not come home until 9pm during school time and my mother would know we are ok but when I lived with my ex and in a cal de sac I was always peeking my head out to make sure my kids are safe. Most parents during that time would do the same. Such a shame in society that we cannot trust that people can play or walk about safely  | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. Hope I haven't picked you up wrong but if I have I'm sorry I'm gonna go out on a limb here but can't it not be the same fir SOME men receiving sexual harassment from a woman at work. I know fir a fact of two cases of sexual harassment happen of men by woman at Glasgow Aurport
One thing that strikes me growing up until now. I could go out at 10am on a Saturday morning and not come home until 9pm during school time and my mother would know we are ok but when I lived with my ex and in a cal de sac I was always peeking my head out to make sure my kids are safe. Most parents during that time would do the same. Such a shame in society that we cannot trust that people can play or walk about safely "I think you have picked me up wrong and also can't comment on those cases as I know nothing about them. The examples I've given are obviously at the far end of the scale but let's take it back to where people think the line of what constitutes harassment is. Some people think that being catcalled in the street is a compliment and should be accepted as such. What if you get it multiple times a day, say 5 days a week on your way to and from the office? That would eventually get rather tiresome, all you're trying to do is get to work in peace. I would hope that we're all agreed that a pat on the bum or an 'accidental' boob graze at work is unacceptable? What about strangers commenting on your boob size? Some guy at the bar standing too far into your personal space? Even when you take a step back, they take a step forward. Comfortable with that? Guys not taking no for an answer so you're having to claim lesbianism to get them to go away? Guys demanding to know your name, where you're from etc and when you don't tell them you're an uppity bitch and they're just 'being friendly'? The list goes on and on. These might not involve being touched by another individual but can be scary all the same. If I was sitting reading a book, minding my own business, and a guy stood too close to me wanting to know personal information, I'd find that threatening. Especially if there was no one else around. We're not being unfriendly, we're just trying to stay safe. And women don't owe men shit. The only thing we expect of decent men is to listen to what the women around you are telling you of their experiences, take their concerns seriously, and be an ally. I don't mean that women need men to stick up for them. What I mean is that if you know men who don't have a problem behaving like this towards women, that see it all as banter and a bit of a laugh, let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Police other men. Raise better men. Sorry if it sounds preachy, I really don't mean it to be. But I'm so tired of it always being the woman's responsibility to fix it, I really am. If any of you are on tw*tter I suggest taking a look at the EverydaySexism page. It's a massive eye opener and you'll see not only how prevalent it is, but also how young it starts. | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. Hope I haven't picked you up wrong but if I have I'm sorry I'm gonna go out on a limb here but can't it not be the same fir SOME men receiving sexual harassment from a woman at work. I know fir a fact of two cases of sexual harassment happen of men by woman at Glasgow Aurport
One thing that strikes me growing up until now. I could go out at 10am on a Saturday morning and not come home until 9pm during school time and my mother would know we are ok but when I lived with my ex and in a cal de sac I was always peeking my head out to make sure my kids are safe. Most parents during that time would do the same. Such a shame in society that we cannot trust that people can play or walk about safely
I think you have picked me up wrong and also can't comment on those cases as I know nothing about them.
The examples I've given are obviously at the far end of the scale but let's take it back to where people think the line of what constitutes harassment is.
Some people think that being catcalled in the street is a compliment and should be accepted as such. What if you get it multiple times a day, say 5 days a week on your way to and from the office? That would eventually get rather tiresome, all you're trying to do is get to work in peace.
I would hope that we're all agreed that a pat on the bum or an 'accidental' boob graze at work is unacceptable?
What about strangers commenting on your boob size?
Some guy at the bar standing too far into your personal space? Even when you take a step back, they take a step forward. Comfortable with that?
Guys not taking no for an answer so you're having to claim lesbianism to get them to go away?
Guys demanding to know your name, where you're from etc and when you don't tell them you're an uppity bitch and they're just 'being friendly'?
The list goes on and on. These might not involve being touched by another individual but can be scary all the same. If I was sitting reading a book, minding my own business, and a guy stood too close to me wanting to know personal information, I'd find that threatening. Especially if there was no one else around.
We're not being unfriendly, we're just trying to stay safe. And women don't owe men shit.
The only thing we expect of decent men is to listen to what the women around you are telling you of their experiences, take their concerns seriously, and be an ally. I don't mean that women need men to stick up for them. What I mean is that if you know men who don't have a problem behaving like this towards women, that see it all as banter and a bit of a laugh, let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Police other men. Raise better men.
Sorry if it sounds preachy, I really don't mean it to be. But I'm so tired of it always being the woman's responsibility to fix it, I really am.
If any of you are on tw*tter I suggest taking a look at the EverydaySexism page. It's a massive eye opener and you'll see not only how prevalent it is, but also how young it starts. "read it ....shocking | |||
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"And ALL MEN you cant say equality then demand diffrent rules based on gender. men are drugged in bars men are stalked men are phisically abused also. People should report problems and the system should not differentiate based on gender either which it does" Sorry but bullshit. Yes men can be victims of violence/intimidation/abuse. They are not suffering these things on any scale comparable to what women are. There is a famous quote(possibly) by Margaret Atwood?) that goes something like that "men are intimidated by groups of women because they think they will laugh at them but women are intimidated by groups of men because they worry they will murder them" | |||
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"And ALL MEN you cant say equality then demand diffrent rules based on gender. men are drugged in bars men are stalked men are phisically abused also. People should report problems and the system should not differentiate based on gender either which it does Sorry but bullshit. Yes men can be victims of violence/intimidation/abuse. They are not suffering these things on any scale comparable to what women are. There is a famous quote(possibly) by Margaret Atwood?) that goes something like that "men are intimidated by groups of women because they think they will laugh at them but women are intimidated by groups of men because they worry they will murder them" " are you sure men are not recieving abuse on the same level. The reason its not comparable is its different forms but men suffer none the less. It may also be more hidden with men as some feel it makes them less masculine to admit to being bullied. | |||
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As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment. | |||
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"Men suffer violence yes. Young men are mostly at risk of violence from other young men. Not women. Men will simply never understand the casual sexism women receive pretty much every single day because it simply does NOT happen to them on the same scale. " by the same token woman will never know the extent of the abuses and injustices men go through. id also say from my viewing of glasgow most weekends its females I worry about starting problems far more than guys. sexism takes many forms and it happens daily to all folk irrespective of gender was my point from the get go. | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment."You just have to look at the posts mainly form guys bemoaning the fact that after a day, a week, a month they haven't been inundated with woman throwing themselves naked to see this is true. But sexual harassment is sexual harassment, no matter if its by makes against females or vice versa. Although, a question, which will probably get me hung drawn and quartered for asking but is a comment made by someone you find physically attracted to( whether you know them or not) seen differently to the same comment made by someone you aren't physically attracted to? Is one seen as harassment but the other not? | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment."I had to have a "chat" with my oldest son about his porn viewing. Thankfully he understood it was purely roleplay. | |||
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. Hope I haven't picked you up wrong but if I have I'm sorry I'm gonna go out on a limb here but can't it not be the same fir SOME men receiving sexual harassment from a woman at work. I know fir a fact of two cases of sexual harassment happen of men by woman at Glasgow Aurport
One thing that strikes me growing up until now. I could go out at 10am on a Saturday morning and not come home until 9pm during school time and my mother would know we are ok but when I lived with my ex and in a cal de sac I was always peeking my head out to make sure my kids are safe. Most parents during that time would do the same. Such a shame in society that we cannot trust that people can play or walk about safely
I think you have picked me up wrong and also can't comment on those cases as I know nothing about them.
The examples I've given are obviously at the far end of the scale but let's take it back to where people think the line of what constitutes harassment is.
Some people think that being catcalled in the street is a compliment and should be accepted as such. What if you get it multiple times a day, say 5 days a week on your way to and from the office? That would eventually get rather tiresome, all you're trying to do is get to work in peace.
I would hope that we're all agreed that a pat on the bum or an 'accidental' boob graze at work is unacceptable?
What about strangers commenting on your boob size?
Some guy at the bar standing too far into your personal space? Even when you take a step back, they take a step forward. Comfortable with that?
Guys not taking no for an answer so you're having to claim lesbianism to get them to go away?
Guys demanding to know your name, where you're from etc and when you don't tell them you're an uppity bitch and they're just 'being friendly'?
The list goes on and on. These might not involve being touched by another individual but can be scary all the same. If I was sitting reading a book, minding my own business, and a guy stood too close to me wanting to know personal information, I'd find that threatening. Especially if there was no one else around.
We're not being unfriendly, we're just trying to stay safe. And women don't owe men shit.
The only thing we expect of decent men is to listen to what the women around you are telling you of their experiences, take their concerns seriously, and be an ally. I don't mean that women need men to stick up for them. What I mean is that if you know men who don't have a problem behaving like this towards women, that see it all as banter and a bit of a laugh, let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Police other men. Raise better men.
Sorry if it sounds preachy, I really don't mean it to be. But I'm so tired of it always being the woman's responsibility to fix it, I really am.
If any of you are on tw*tter I suggest taking a look at the EverydaySexism page. It's a massive eye opener and you'll see not only how prevalent it is, but also how young it starts. "All your points here are valid and are definitely in the unacceptable bracket so we are in agreement here. No if no buts and no maybes. Total agreement. Now, that said my comments were made earlier about fear being drummed into women was by media sensationalising every minor thing , especially when it comes to celebs, theres money in it for quote , victims, so now you get told you look nice, your suddenly a victim of abuse because you dont know the person and it was unwarranted contact. If it was a handsome the female would blush and be happy the rest of the day. Its a womans perception of certain situations involved too. ABUSE is NEVER acceptable but a comment made in light banter should also be accepted and laughed off or replied with a witty comment back. That was my point. You were also saying not to turn it into guys being the victim, why do you tell us its ALL about the abuse to females only then not accept it happens to guys too ??. | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment.
You just have to look at the posts mainly form guys bemoaning the fact that after a day, a week, a month they haven't been inundated with woman throwing themselves naked to see this is true. But sexual harassment is sexual harassment, no matter if its by makes against females or vice versa. Although, a question, which will probably get me hung drawn and quartered for asking but is a comment made by someone you find physically attracted to( whether you know them or not) seen differently to the same comment made by someone you aren't physically attracted to? Is one seen as harassment but the other not?"Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else. | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment.
You just have to look at the posts mainly form guys bemoaning the fact that after a day, a week, a month they haven't been inundated with woman throwing themselves naked to see this is true. But sexual harassment is sexual harassment, no matter if its by makes against females or vice versa. Although, a question, which will probably get me hung drawn and quartered for asking but is a comment made by someone you find physically attracted to( whether you know them or not) seen differently to the same comment made by someone you aren't physically attracted to? Is one seen as harassment but the other not?
Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else."I can only speak for myself but if anyone pays me a genuine compliment, regardless of their appearance, I will thank them. If anyone is a dick and crosses a line,then they will be told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck. Whether they're a stunner or skelped everyone of the branches as they fell from the ugly tree. | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment.
You just have to look at the posts mainly form guys bemoaning the fact that after a day, a week, a month they haven't been inundated with woman throwing themselves naked to see this is true. But sexual harassment is sexual harassment, no matter if its by makes against females or vice versa. Although, a question, which will probably get me hung drawn and quartered for asking but is a comment made by someone you find physically attracted to( whether you know them or not) seen differently to the same comment made by someone you aren't physically attracted to? Is one seen as harassment but the other not?
Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else.
I can only speak for myself but if anyone pays me a genuine compliment, regardless of their appearance, I will thank them.
If anyone is a dick and crosses a line,then they will be told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck. Whether they're a stunner or skelped everyone of the branches as they fell from the ugly tree."Agree
But been in company and even in a social event someone saying sonething that is close to the bone to a female and just the way they come across they get away with it but I and many others just couldn't say it as it just wouldn't come across right
I've even seen myself jump into the middle of that comment from someone just to calm the situation down incase and maybe have a wee quiet word with the guy about it, but you never really get this problem from a female only if she's really d*unk . | |||
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"Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else." I can only speak for myself but if anyone pays me a genuine compliment, regardless of their appearance, I will thank them. If anyone is a dick and crosses a line,then they will be told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck. Whether they're a stunner or skelped everyone of the branches as they fell from the ugly tree. I am the same, but unfortunately that isn't how it works for the majority. And I speak as someone who skelped only the top few branches. "I fell oot a tree ? Dang , now i know what happened.   | |||
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"Interesting replies.
As the mother of a son and daughter I worry about both of them growing up, for different reasons.
I also wonder how much porn and the fact it's so readily available colours younger men's views of women. I'm far from a prude but some of the shit just a click away online suggests that any woman should be more than happy to take it in any hole at any moment.
You just have to look at the posts mainly form guys bemoaning the fact that after a day, a week, a month they haven't been inundated with woman throwing themselves naked to see this is true. But sexual harassment is sexual harassment, no matter if its by makes against females or vice versa. Although, a question, which will probably get me hung drawn and quartered for asking but is a comment made by someone you find physically attracted to( whether you know them or not) seen differently to the same comment made by someone you aren't physically attracted to? Is one seen as harassment but the other not?
Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else.
I can only speak for myself but if anyone pays me a genuine compliment, regardless of their appearance, I will thank them.
If anyone is a dick and crosses a line,then they will be told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck. Whether they're a stunner or skelped everyone of the branches as they fell from the ugly tree.
Agree
But been in company and even in a social event someone saying sonething that is close to the bone to a female and just the way they come across they get away with it but I and many others just couldn't say it as it just wouldn't come across right
I've even seen myself jump into the middle of that comment from someone just to calm the situation down incase and maybe have a wee quiet word with the guy about it, but you never really get this problem from a female only if she's really d*unk . "Hope not to offended any d*unk ladies | |||
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"Yes it will definitely be seen differently. Dependent on the comment of course. Abuse seen the same but an unwarranted compliment will be accepted from a handsome guy but not from someone else." I can only speak for myself but if anyone pays me a genuine compliment, regardless of their appearance, I will thank them. If anyone is a dick and crosses a line,then they will be told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck. Whether they're a stunner or skelped everyone of the branches as they fell from the ugly tree. I am the same, but unfortunately that isn't how it works for the majority. And I speak as someone who skelped only the top few branches.
I fell oot a tree ? Dang , now i know what happened. "Think somebody kicked fuck out of you where you landed too
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"I didn't listen to the radio show so no idea what was said. Yes it is as bad, it seems more prevalent now because more people are speaking out, and the existence of social media. I think workplace harassment is probably not as common now, as employers have stepped up on trying to protect employees. For a woman it's not just being catcalled in the street. You're thinking 'is this person going to follow me? Am I in physical danger?' Don't go to our own door if we suspect we're being followed, as then they'll know where we live etc etc. There are so many things women have to think about to safeguard themselves, like how we're getting home after a night out, the call/text you have to send to let friends know you're home safe, if what we're wearing will draw unwanted attention, having to take our drinks to the bathroom to ensure we're not drugged. It's fucking relentless. How about men take responsibility for their own actions, stop being arseholes and be decent men? It's not difficult to be a decent person. Before anyone jumps in with NOT ALL MEN - no, it's not all men. BUT IT IS ALL WOMEN. Hope I haven't picked you up wrong but if I have I'm sorry I'm gonna go out on a limb here but can't it not be the same fir SOME men receiving sexual harassment from a woman at work. I know fir a fact of two cases of sexual harassment happen of men by woman at Glasgow Aurport
One thing that strikes me growing up until now. I could go out at 10am on a Saturday morning and not come home until 9pm during school time and my mother would know we are ok but when I lived with my ex and in a cal de sac I was always peeking my head out to make sure my kids are safe. Most parents during that time would do the same. Such a shame in society that we cannot trust that people can play or walk about safely
I think you have picked me up wrong and also can't comment on those cases as I know nothing about them.
The examples I've given are obviously at the far end of the scale but let's take it back to where people think the line of what constitutes harassment is.
Some people think that being catcalled in the street is a compliment and should be accepted as such. What if you get it multiple times a day, say 5 days a week on your way to and from the office? That would eventually get rather tiresome, all you're trying to do is get to work in peace.
I would hope that we're all agreed that a pat on the bum or an 'accidental' boob graze at work is unacceptable?
What about strangers commenting on your boob size?
Some guy at the bar standing too far into your personal space? Even when you take a step back, they take a step forward. Comfortable with that?
Guys not taking no for an answer so you're having to claim lesbianism to get them to go away?
Guys demanding to know your name, where you're from etc and when you don't tell them you're an uppity bitch and they're just 'being friendly'?
The list goes on and on. These might not involve being touched by another individual but can be scary all the same. If I was sitting reading a book, minding my own business, and a guy stood too close to me wanting to know personal information, I'd find that threatening. Especially if there was no one else around.
We're not being unfriendly, we're just trying to stay safe. And women don't owe men shit.
The only thing we expect of decent men is to listen to what the women around you are telling you of their experiences, take their concerns seriously, and be an ally. I don't mean that women need men to stick up for them. What I mean is that if you know men who don't have a problem behaving like this towards women, that see it all as banter and a bit of a laugh, let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Police other men. Raise better men.
Sorry if it sounds preachy, I really don't mean it to be. But I'm so tired of it always being the woman's responsibility to fix it, I really am.
If any of you are on tw*tter I suggest taking a look at the EverydaySexism page. It's a massive eye opener and you'll see not only how prevalent it is, but also how young it starts.
All your points here are valid and are definitely in the unacceptable bracket so we are in agreement here. No if no buts and no maybes. Total agreement. Now, that said my comments were made earlier about fear being drummed into women was by media sensationalising every minor thing , especially when it comes to celebs, theres money in it for quote , victims, so now you get told you look nice, your suddenly a victim of abuse because you dont know the person and it was unwarranted contact. If it was a handsome the female would blush and be happy the rest of the day. Its a womans perception of certain situations involved too. ABUSE is NEVER acceptable but a comment made in light banter should also be accepted and laughed off or replied with a witty comment back. That was my point. You were also saying not to turn it into guys being the victim, why do you tell us its ALL about the abuse to females only then not accept it happens to guys too ??."And my point was that what you might consider to be 'light banter' is possibly not viewed that way by the other person. If someone is bigger than them, is standing just that little too close to them, it's hard not to feel threatened by that. As I said, it's how it makes THEM feel that's important, not your intention. I don't know any woman who's taken a 'you look nice' as abuse. It's usually the body language and further comments that accompany it that distinguish whether it's merely a compliment, or a prelude to harassment. Also, women don't need fear drummed into them by the media. They just need to look at the body count over the years of women who have been murdered to be wary. I don't go out of the house on high alert. But I also try to ensure that I don't enter into a risky situation, and if any encounter feels like something isn't right, I get as far away from that person or persons as fast as possible. | |||
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"Why though is it either or. Abuse is wrong. Period. The call should be to stamp out all forms of abuse and harassment. It doesn't matter if it's one person or a thousand. It is wrong and should stop. Percentages shouldn't come into it. " It shouldn't be, but it is. Whether it's because women are seen as the weaker sex, or some bollocks like that, I don't know. It's not that long ago that women were treated as property, and that is still part of wedding ceremonies today with the giving away the bride thing. By people claiming that men are victims too, which has never been denied, it undermines the issues that women are trying to raise. I think the bottom line is that everyone should check their privilege and just be better people. Treat everyone the same, and let them live their lives in peace. | |||
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"Why though is it either or. Abuse is wrong. Period. The call should be to stamp out all forms of abuse and harassment. It doesn't matter if it's one person or a thousand. It is wrong and should stop. Percentages shouldn't come into it. It shouldn't be, but it is. Whether it's because women are seen as the weaker sex, or some bollocks like that, I don't know. It's not that long ago that women were treated as property, and that is still part of wedding ceremonies today with the giving away the bride thing. By people claiming that men are victims too, which has never been denied, it undermines the issues that women are trying to raise. I think the bottom line is that everyone should check their privilege and just be better people. Treat everyone the same, and let them live their lives in peace." Ohh come on you cant keep claiming the moral high ground that its all about abuse towards women then accept it also happens to guys then in the same sentence say , acknowledging it happens to guys would undermine your point. That is way beyond double standards. | |||
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"And ALL MEN you cant say equality then demand diffrent rules based on gender. men are drugged in bars men are stalked men are phisically abused also. People should report problems and the system should not differentiate based on gender either which it does" These things are a lot less likely to happen to men than women so there will be more focus on the greater problem | |||
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"As someone who has seen the effects of outrageous behavior towards BOTH sexes and the aftermath of 2 attacks, I’d say it hasn’t got worse, but it has become higher profile thanks to social media. Any sort of unwanted sexual, physical or verbal attacks or behavior is not on. End of conversation. I’m not going to back up the statement as it does t require it. If anyone sees it then I feel they have a moral obligation to help the victim any way possible. Call the police. Follow them. Scream FIRE at the top of your lungs over and over again. If it’s another woman in a pub or club, walk over to her, say ‘there you are - piss off dweeb’ and walk her away to safety. Alert the staff. These are all things we can do. If you’re in your car, keep hitting your horn and flashing your lights at them while you call the police. The more attention you draw to them the quicker they will stop and run. And if it’s your 13 year old daughter in a supermarket, say in your loudest possible voice ‘why are you staring at my 13 year old daughters tits?’ They will run a fucking mile. " I can still kneecap the prick in the car park though, right? | |||
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"As someone who has seen the effects of outrageous behavior towards BOTH sexes and the aftermath of 2 attacks, I’d say it hasn’t got worse, but it has become higher profile thanks to social media. Any sort of unwanted sexual, physical or verbal attacks or behavior is not on. End of conversation. I’m not going to back up the statement as it does t require it. If anyone sees it then I feel they have a moral obligation to help the victim any way possible. Call the police. Follow them. Scream FIRE at the top of your lungs over and over again. If it’s another woman in a pub or club, walk over to her, say ‘there you are - piss off dweeb’ and walk her away to safety. Alert the staff. These are all things we can do. If you’re in your car, keep hitting your horn and flashing your lights at them while you call the police. The more attention you draw to them the quicker they will stop and run. And if it’s your 13 year old daughter in a supermarket, say in your loudest possible voice ‘why are you staring at my 13 year old daughters tits?’ They will run a fucking mile. I can still kneecap the prick in the car park though, right? "Well duh! Just in the camera black spot  | |||
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"Why though is it either or. Abuse is wrong. Period. The call should be to stamp out all forms of abuse and harassment. It doesn't matter if it's one person or a thousand. It is wrong and should stop. Percentages shouldn't come into it. It shouldn't be, but it is. Whether it's because women are seen as the weaker sex, or some bollocks like that, I don't know. It's not that long ago that women were treated as property, and that is still part of wedding ceremonies today with the giving away the bride thing. By people claiming that men are victims too, which has never been denied, it undermines the issues that women are trying to raise. I think the bottom line is that everyone should check their privilege and just be better people. Treat everyone the same, and let them live their lives in peace. Ohh come on you cant keep claiming the moral high ground that its all about abuse towards women then accept it also happens to guys then in the same sentence say , acknowledging it happens to guys would undermine your point. That is way beyond double standards. " I'm not trying to claim the moral high ground on anything, I think you've misread my previous comments. What I actually said was that it is not all men that commit sexual harassment, but it is all women that have received some form of it, and for some it is a daily occurrence. I have also said that yes some men are victims too, and that no one has disputed that. I've pointed out that it is a fact that more women are sexually harassed than men are. I've also commented that across social media there is an undercurrent of men who jump on this issue with 'what about the men' when that is not the subject at hand. The very topic of this thread is in fact harassment towards women and young girls. Which of my points do you think is inaccurate? You also seem to be under the impression I'm attacking you. I'm not, nor attacking anyone else. What I am saying is that men need to listen to what women are saying on this subject, be an ally and not make it about them. Hope that makes it clearer for you | |||
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"The irony that a post about harassment/intimidation shown towards women DAILY I hijacked by a man whinging what about us..... "It's quite unsurprising really | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work "Some big manly bit of stuff will probably be along in a minute to tell you that it's happened to them...twice | |||
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"I've been propositioned at work by a right sleazy git and politely declined. That was only last year. Didn't feel intimidated just thought it was a dickish thing to do. But as a teenager I was followed into toilets by a group of guys and basically barricaded myself in as they laughed at me from the other side of the door and put the lights out. I was fucking petrified. Thankfully confidence comes with age. " Ones sexual, ones nasty. You can't really compare an adult male to teenage girls. The girls hopefully grew up but the guy, that ships sailed | |||
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"I've been propositioned at work by a right sleazy git and politely declined. That was only last year. Didn't feel intimidated just thought it was a dickish thing to do. But as a teenager I was followed into toilets by a group of guys and basically barricaded myself in as they laughed at me from the other side of the door and put the lights out. I was fucking petrified. Thankfully confidence comes with age. Ones sexual, ones nasty. You can't really compare an adult male to teenage girls. The girls hopefully grew up but the guy, that ships sailed "The group of guys (not girls) who followed me into the ladies toilet wanted to intimidate me and frighten me and there was sexual element to it too. I remember that feeling very clearly. | |||
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"I've been propositioned at work by a right sleazy git and politely declined. That was only last year. Didn't feel intimidated just thought it was a dickish thing to do. But as a teenager I was followed into toilets by a group of guys and basically barricaded myself in as they laughed at me from the other side of the door and put the lights out. I was fucking petrified. Thankfully confidence comes with age. Ones sexual, ones nasty. You can't really compare an adult male to teenage girls. The girls hopefully grew up but the guy, that ships sailed
The group of guys (not girls) who followed me into the ladies toilet wanted to intimidate me and frighten me and there was sexual element to it too. I remember that feeling very clearly."Ooops sorry I thought you said girls. Hopefully they grew up too | |||
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"I've been propositioned at work by a right sleazy git and politely declined. That was only last year. Didn't feel intimidated just thought it was a dickish thing to do. But as a teenager I was followed into toilets by a group of guys and basically barricaded myself in as they laughed at me from the other side of the door and put the lights out. I was fucking petrified. Thankfully confidence comes with age. Ones sexual, ones nasty. You can't really compare an adult male to teenage girls. The girls hopefully grew up but the guy, that ships sailed
The group of guys (not girls) who followed me into the ladies toilet wanted to intimidate me and frighten me and there was sexual element to it too. I remember that feeling very clearly.
Ooops sorry I thought you said girls. Hopefully they grew up too " | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
Some big manly bit of stuff will probably be along in a minute to tell you that it's happened to them...twice "Not sure If I am a big manly bit of stuff, but if anyone looks me up and down, I'll direct them to specsavers. Or another opticians. | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work "I love the honesty in this post Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said. | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post , not
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said."You still seem to think it's okay for you to decide what constitutes offence/harassment/abuse towards women. That could be construed as casual misogyny | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said. "Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post , not
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
You still seem to think it's okay for you to decide what constitutes offence/harassment/abuse towards women.
That could be construed as casual misogyny "Oh get a grip, you try to get rise out of guys with unsupported comments like " casual misogyny " For your information. That is a made up silly comment. Definition: misogyny hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women, or prejudice against women. What part of that term can be construed as casual. When you know me you can comment on my attitude towards women. There are LOTS of women both on Fab and in these forums who DO actually know me abd have spoke with me too. How many people in the forums KNOW you ??? PERSONALLY Take your vile accusations and file them up where your kind file that kind of crap | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different "Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx | |||
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"I can comment on the attitude I see you display towards some women on here. You're using a really loose definition of misogyny. It seems you're not quite sure of what constitutes vile either" So the dictionary definition is wrong , yes ok | |||
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"I can comment on the attitude I see you display towards some women on here. You're using a really loose definition of misogyny. It seems you're not quite sure of what constitutes vile either So the dictionary definition is wrong , yes ok" And quote me where i have a bad attitude to women plz | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different
Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx"Which one??? The misogyny definition or getting sleazy looks in work is part of nature | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different
Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx
Which one??? The misogyny definition or getting sleazy looks in work is part of nature "Lol the misogyny, comments lol. X | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post , not
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
You still seem to think it's okay for you to decide what constitutes offence/harassment/abuse towards women.
That could be construed as casual misogyny
Oh get a grip, you try to get rise out of guys with unsupported comments like " casual misogyny "
For your information. That is a made up silly comment.
Definition: misogyny
hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women, or prejudice against women.
What part of that term can be construed as casual.
When you know me you can comment on my attitude towards women. There are LOTS of women both on Fab and in these forums who DO actually know me abd have spoke with me too.
How many people in the forums KNOW you ??? PERSONALLY
Take your vile accusations and file them up where your kind file that kind of crap
"shit like this sounds very familiar? | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post , not
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
You still seem to think it's okay for you to decide what constitutes offence/harassment/abuse towards women.
That could be construed as casual misogyny
Oh get a grip, you try to get rise out of guys with unsupported comments like " casual misogyny "
For your information. That is a made up silly comment.
Definition: misogyny
hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women, or prejudice against women.
What part of that term can be construed as casual.
When you know me you can comment on my attitude towards women. There are LOTS of women both on Fab and in these forums who DO actually know me abd have spoke with me too.
How many people in the forums KNOW you ??? PERSONALLY
Take your vile accusations and file them up where your kind file that kind of crap
shit like this sounds very familiar? "Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work "Yesterday at work I had an appointment with 2 females. When they left the room in the corridor directly outside my room one of my female colleagues saw one turned to the other and say "fuck he's hot" and do an actual pelvic thrust. They saw my colleague and just laughed and said "yeah you would too". It's an issue in society in general, with males moreso than females but women have always been better at hiding it I think. I think it's pathetic and completely disrespectful any male who openly sleazes over a female in public with no regard for how uncomfortable they may make that individual feel. | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. " And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different
Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx
Which one??? The misogyny definition or getting sleazy looks in work is part of nature
Lol the misogyny, comments lol. X"Can I make a comment then, and this is no way an argument. Just an addition to the post. I said in my post I got a sleazy look in work. Not a double take, a sleazy look. You responded by playing it down as human nature. This is part of the problem in today's society. I'm in my work, not in a bar, not online, in my work. My dad doesn't get that, my brothers don't get that. I've had this many times. God help woman who don't have my nature | |||
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"Defo happens to men also and I'd defo say it's much more socially acceptable for a women to make sexual comments to men as banter. Which is totally wrong" Agreed, 100%. But even the reaction of my female colleagues was oh you love it!! Couldn't wait to tell me. Actually though I don't. | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you "You never challenged my point of view you accused me , theres a HUGE difference. Im still awaiting your evidence to prove your vile accusations. ? | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different
Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx
Which one??? The misogyny definition or getting sleazy looks in work is part of nature
Lol the misogyny, comments lol. X
Can I make a comment then, and this is no way an argument. Just an addition to the post. I said in my post I got a sleazy look in work. Not a double take, a sleazy look. You responded by playing it down as human nature. This is part of the problem in today's society. I'm in my work, not in a bar, not online, in my work. My dad doesn't get that, my brothers don't get that. I've had this many times. God help woman who don't have my nature "Sry i meant sleazy is unacceptable ,but we all check people out men and women that part is nature. Sry for the confusion c | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you
You never challenged my point of view you accused me , theres a HUGE difference. Im still awaiting your evidence to prove your vile accusations. ? "I challenged your point of view in regards to what constitutes harassment I suggested you display casual misogyny That's my point of view | |||
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"Just today I got looked up and down, not just a double take, a proper sleazy look. It didn't bother me, wasn't intimidated and probably not the last time it'll happen in work. Wonder how many times that happens to a man in work
I love the honesty in this post
Not all eyeing up is sleazy and ALL men and women do it, but what i like about the honesty is this woman knows its part of nature and said it dosnt bother her or intimidate her and it will happen again probably. I am 100% behind all the comments in here about abuse towards women being not on. But some things are classed as offensive when indeed it is not . Its as i said before if someone says something that offends someone else that does NOT make the statement offensive. Thats a major issue in the forums these days , people reporting posts on someone elses behalf when the recipient of the comment couldnt give a toss about what was said.
Please don't take my easy going nature as any reflection of how sleazy his intentions were. I'm well aware of the difference between giving a nice looking girl a double take and someone undressing me with their eyes. The fact my dad was in the back may also had some input in that, under different circumstances I might have felt very very different
Sry happy girl those comments in my last post were definitely not meant at you there. Xx
Which one??? The misogyny definition or getting sleazy looks in work is part of nature
Lol the misogyny, comments lol. X
Can I make a comment then, and this is no way an argument. Just an addition to the post. I said in my post I got a sleazy look in work. Not a double take, a sleazy look. You responded by playing it down as human nature. This is part of the problem in today's society. I'm in my work, not in a bar, not online, in my work. My dad doesn't get that, my brothers don't get that. I've had this many times. God help woman who don't have my nature
Sry i meant sleazy is unacceptable ,but we all check people out men and women that part is nature. Sry for the confusion c"I know that. I didn't get "checked out" I got undressed and I agree that sleazy is unacceptable, it was the "It's human nature " part and playing it down part I'm pointing out. I think that's what wellinever is pointing out too | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you
You never challenged my point of view you accused me , theres a HUGE difference. Im still awaiting your evidence to prove your vile accusations. ? "As you know I don't comment here very often. When it comes to my other half being wrongly accused of misogyny I have to say that I read the conversation between you and _e devil a few months ago. In that pm conversation you clearly stated that you use the forum to wind people up for your own amusement. He also got 2 of your fake profiles banned. It's obviously personal between you both but don't ever make false accusations that you cannot back up. Mrs She Devil | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you
You never challenged my point of view you accused me , theres a HUGE difference. Im still awaiting your evidence to prove your vile accusations. ?
As you know I don't comment here very often. When it comes to my other half being wrongly accused of misogyny I have to say that I read the conversation between you and _e devil a few months ago. In that pm conversation you clearly stated that you use the forum to wind people up for your own amusement. He also got 2 of your fake profiles banned. It's obviously personal between you both but don't ever make false accusations that you cannot back up. Mrs She Devil "It's against forum rules to discuss the content of private messages | |||
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" Yoir right oldie sry , i took her bait lol. And demonstrated your attitude towards women who challenge you
You never challenged my point of view you accused me , theres a HUGE difference. Im still awaiting your evidence to prove your vile accusations. ?
As you know I don't comment here very often. When it comes to my other half being wrongly accused of misogyny I have to say that I read the conversation between you and _e devil a few months ago. In that pm conversation you clearly stated that you use the forum to wind people up for your own amusement. He also got 2 of your fake profiles banned. It's obviously personal between you both but don't ever make false accusations that you cannot back up. Mrs She Devil
It's against forum rules to discuss the content of private messages "Fake profiles - pathetic Reporting profiles - pathetic Mrs stepping in to stand up for Mr who's been digging himself a hole - pathetic. I don't think Mrs gives a shit if she breaks forum rules and gets banned as she says she doesn't post here much anyway. Just another day in the fab playground. | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!!" | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!!" It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!! It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. " To be fair it started when you downplayed my sexual harassment in the workplace (just an expression) but I'm going to bow out gracefully now since it was my post that started it | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!!" More Mrs Merton than David Dimbleby but I get your point | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!! It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. To be fair it started when you downplayed my sexual harassment in the workplace (just an expression) but I'm going to bow out gracefully now since it was my post that started it "You never mentioned sexual harrassment in the post i commented on ?. I said sleazy was unacceptable but eyeing someone up is always going on with men and women. And that made me a woman hater in someones eyes , thats where it went bad. | |||
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"For anyone unsure of what casual misogyny is, this is worth a read https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/sep/13/casual-sexism-victims-police-it-minor-sexual-aggressions" it talks of casual sexism, clue is in the title. You did not direct that phrase at me , you called me a woman hater' Misogyny 'was your word not sexism. Huge difference. | |||
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"The irony that a post about harassment/intimidation shown towards women DAILY I hijacked by a man whinging what about us..... "It’s beyond ironic, it’s tragic and sad that a threat about the sexual harassment of women becomes a platform for some men to systematically dismiss and negate women’s experiences of abuse and intimidation. If any men in here feel strongly about males being sexually harassed then maybe this issue would have been better addressed in a separate thread. | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!! It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. To be fair it started when you downplayed my sexual harassment in the workplace (just an expression) but I'm going to bow out gracefully now since it was my post that started it
You never mentioned sexual harrassment in the post i commented on ?. I said sleazy was unacceptable but eyeing someone up is always going on with men and women. And that made me a woman hater in someones eyes , thats where it went bad.
"It was just an expression. Honestly I don't like or dislike anyone here so please don't think I'm taking sides but when you first commented on my post I thought are you joking, did he just play it down what happened to me today. It was obviously unintentional and probably wellinever used her words carefully but I can't let her take the blame on this one when I think your wrong also. Sorry | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!! It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. To be fair it started when you downplayed my sexual harassment in the workplace (just an expression) but I'm going to bow out gracefully now since it was my post that started it
You never mentioned sexual harrassment in the post i commented on ?. I said sleazy was unacceptable but eyeing someone up is always going on with men and women. And that made me a woman hater in someones eyes , thats where it went bad.
"I think you need to go back and read it again. She said she got a proper sleazy look at work. You said not all looks are sleazy which may be true. But she stated it was a sleazy look and you said you liked her honesty and that what happened is part of nature. Maybe you misread or mistyped somewhere, but if you are going to keep defending your statement you better read it again first... Btw I don't feel you hate or dislike woman as such. For so long, centuries even, guys behaving badly has just been excused and justified by society as "boys will be boys". That attitude seems to be what you touched on and women just aren't accepting it anymore. If you still hold that attitude, you will be seen by many as part of the overall problem. Which is where I believe the mysogony comments are coming from. | |||
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"Yes, a lot of men are basically sex-pests who struggle to believe that you don't want to sleep with them! " That is one belief I don't struggle with. | |||
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"Fucking hell....just thought a wee debate would be interesting. David Dimbleby never had to put up with this shite!!! It was a debate and discussion was going great with differing viewpoints and civil disagreements, right to the point the insults started. Sorry Doggy some people take every opportunity to wind up. To be fair it started when you downplayed my sexual harassment in the workplace (just an expression) but I'm going to bow out gracefully now since it was my post that started it
You never mentioned sexual harrassment in the post i commented on ?. I said sleazy was unacceptable but eyeing someone up is always going on with men and women. And that made me a woman hater in someones eyes , thats where it went bad.
I think you need to go back and read it again. She said she got a proper sleazy look at work. You said not all looks are sleazy which may be true. But she stated it was a sleazy look and you said you liked her honesty and that what happened is part of nature. Maybe you misread or mistyped somewhere, but if you are going to keep defending your statement you better read it again first...
Btw I don't feel you hate or dislike woman as such. For so long, centuries even, guys behaving badly has just been excused and justified by society as "boys will be boys". That attitude seems to be what you touched on and women just aren't accepting it anymore. If you still hold that attitude, you will be seen by many as part of the overall problem. Which is where I believe the mysogony comments are coming from. "Jen yes i agree it was badly worded but i claridmfied my comments later and appologised for the wording. Absolutely sleazy looks happen and is not acceptable. But i worded it to close to saying it happens all the time by men and women and not clearly differentiating sleazy looks from checking someone out. Which is what i meant. But to wind me up ' its historical' by calling me a woman hater , thats where i draw the line and wont and will not accept that kind of slur on my character. Myself and happy girl were in conversation only , no arguments or insults. | |||
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"For anyone unsure of what casual misogyny is, this is worth a read https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/sep/13/casual-sexism-victims-police-it-minor-sexual-aggressions it talks of casual sexism, clue is in the title. You did not direct that phrase at me , you called me a woman hater' Misogyny 'was your word not sexism. Huge difference." You know the two go hand in hand though, right? They are not unrelated issues | |||
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"For anyone unsure of what casual misogyny is, this is worth a read https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/sep/13/casual-sexism-victims-police-it-minor-sexual-aggressions it talks of casual sexism, clue is in the title. You did not direct that phrase at me , you called me a woman hater' Misogyny 'was your word not sexism. Huge difference. You know the two go hand in hand though, right? They are not unrelated issues" Took your bait once today , wont get caught twice. You carry on winding xx | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. " That’s funny, I’m always conscious about walking behind or past people especially at night, kind of do it subconsciously now. Hats off to you ladies you put up with some shit but NO MORE!! X | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. " Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. " The quote that should end this thread... 'Its being aware of what's around you.' | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. " Ok sry but more controversy. Not intended for argument just my opinion. A single female on the bus , will be honest, i will sit anywhere but would and have sat within a couple of seats , strike up a friendly conversation and the fact i am always respectful of females probably makes that journey a safer journey for that female. The next passenger or group of passengers on COULD be a sex pest and harras that woman. You sitting down the front wont be much good to that lone female. And yes i have struck up loads of conversations on trains and busses. Even found females who were at school with my kids and when you know common people , how safe does that female feel now. Theres a huge difference between chatting and abusing. | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. Ok sry but more controversy. Not intended for argument just my opinion. A single female on the bus , will be honest, i will sit anywhere but would and have sat within a couple of seats , strike up a friendly conversation and the fact i am always respectful of females probably makes that journey a safer journey for that female. The next passenger or group of passengers on COULD be a sex pest and harras that woman. You sitting down the front wont be much good to that lone female. And yes i have struck up loads of conversations on trains and busses. Even found females who were at school with my kids and when you know common people , how safe does that female feel now. Theres a huge difference between chatting and abusing. " Would you do the same with a single guy on the bus? | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. Ok sry but more controversy. Not intended for argument just my opinion. A single female on the bus , will be honest, i will sit anywhere but would and have sat within a couple of seats , strike up a friendly conversation and the fact i am always respectful of females probably makes that journey a safer journey for that female. The next passenger or group of passengers on COULD be a sex pest and harras that woman. You sitting down the front wont be much good to that lone female. And yes i have struck up loads of conversations on trains and busses. Even found females who were at school with my kids and when you know common people , how safe does that female feel now. Theres a huge difference between chatting and abusing. Would you do the same with a single guy on the bus?" why would i not ??? | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. Ok sry but more controversy. Not intended for argument just my opinion. A single female on the bus , will be honest, i will sit anywhere but would and have sat within a couple of seats , strike up a friendly conversation and the fact i am always respectful of females probably makes that journey a safer journey for that female. The next passenger or group of passengers on COULD be a sex pest and harras that woman. You sitting down the front wont be much good to that lone female. And yes i have struck up loads of conversations on trains and busses. Even found females who were at school with my kids and when you know common people , how safe does that female feel now. Theres a huge difference between chatting and abusing. Would you do the same with a single guy on the bus? why would i not ???" I thought the thread was about females. ?? | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. Ok sry but more controversy. Not intended for argument just my opinion. A single female on the bus , will be honest, i will sit anywhere but would and have sat within a couple of seats , strike up a friendly conversation and the fact i am always respectful of females probably makes that journey a safer journey for that female. The next passenger or group of passengers on COULD be a sex pest and harras that woman. You sitting down the front wont be much good to that lone female. And yes i have struck up loads of conversations on trains and busses. Even found females who were at school with my kids and when you know common people , how safe does that female feel now. Theres a huge difference between chatting and abusing. Would you do the same with a single guy on the bus? why would i not ???" Well I don't know, which is why I asked. | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. The quote that should end this thread... 'Its being aware of what's around you.' " Looks like your suggestion we allow that quote to be a nice way to end/salvage this thread was wishful thinking..... | |||
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"Always remember my dad saying he still to this day never walks behind a woman if he can help it always crosses the road if it's just him and a woman on the pavement said he would hate for a lady to feel uncomfortable. Funny. I do the same. And will always sit at the front of the bus if a woman is on it herself, even though I hate sitting at the front. It's being aware of what's around you. The quote that should end this thread... 'Its being aware of what's around you.' Looks like your suggestion we allow that quote to be a nice way to end/salvage this thread was wishful thinking....." | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel." Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ?" So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't? | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel." I would actually be creeped out! I often chat to random folk on the bus but if I was the only female and a guy got on, sat close to me when the entire bus was empty and started chatting I would feel creeped out. Having the idea that they deliberately chose to sit near me, for whatever reason they had in their head, would make me feel cornered, not safer | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't?" By there very first reply actually. You can tell right away if someone wants to chat or not. | |||
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"What ..so white knighting is creepy now too ? Zut alors!!" In this case I wouldn't know he was white knighting though would I? He might be thinking oh I will sit near that woman and make her feel safer. But I don't know that do I? I would be thinking why is this guy sitting near me and giving me attention when the entire bus is empty? What does he want? If he sat next to me when the bus was full and started chatting, fair enough I might not want to chat but I wouldn't feel threatened. | |||
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"What ..so white knighting is creepy now too ? Zut alors!! In this case I wouldn't know he was white knighting though would I? He might be thinking oh I will sit near that woman and make her feel safer. But I don't know that do I? I would be thinking why is this guy sitting near me and giving me attention when the entire bus is empty? What does he want? If he sat next to me when the bus was full and started chatting, fair enough I might not want to chat but I wouldn't feel threatened." So that first 20 seconds of unease that dissapears after first friendly contact as opposed a group of pissed lads or the real pervs . | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't? By there very first reply actually. You can tell right away if someone wants to chat or not. " Here's a thought you may hopefully give consideration to. Replying might mean that she views it as the safest way to deal with you rather than to tell you that she doesn't want to chat and that it's making her feel uncomfortable. | |||
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"What ..so white knighting is creepy now too ? Zut alors!! In this case I wouldn't know he was white knighting though would I? He might be thinking oh I will sit near that woman and make her feel safer. But I don't know that do I? I would be thinking why is this guy sitting near me and giving me attention when the entire bus is empty? What does he want? If he sat next to me when the bus was full and started chatting, fair enough I might not want to chat but I wouldn't feel threatened. So that first 20 seconds of unease that dissapears after first friendly contact as opposed a group of pissed lads or the real pervs . " If you say so | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't? By there very first reply actually. You can tell right away if someone wants to chat or not. Here's a thought you may hopefully give consideration to. Replying might mean that she views it as the safest way to deal with you rather than to tell you that she doesn't want to chat and that it's making her feel uncomfortable." Yup. This. | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't? By there very first reply actually. You can tell right away if someone wants to chat or not. Here's a thought you may hopefully give consideration to. Replying might mean that she views it as the safest way to deal with you rather than to tell you that she doesn't want to chat and that it's making her feel uncomfortable." Yeah she was really worried when the conversation got to schooling and she knew my daughters and classed with my son and said tell them xxxxx was asking for them . Yep she was terrified !!! . Go wind up elsewhere. | |||
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"Ffs this thread is relentless People can sit wherever they want on a bus. People can walk wherever they want on the pavement. Some people (not me, I find it irritating) always make small talk on a bus or plane or whatever. As long as it's done in a non sleazy and non intimidating way what's the harm? No one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Seriously if some have an issue with that then maybe they have the problem full stop. Tolerance. "No-one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Spoken like a man who hasn't taken on board anything said by various women on this thread. Because quite simply, you're idea of non intimidating and hers might be very different, examples have been given as to why a woman may feel intimidated in different situations. If you are not prepared to consider that possibility then you are not displaying tolerance. But arrogance. | |||
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" Yeah she was really worried when the conversation got to schooling and she knew my daughters and classed with my son and said tell them xxxxx was asking for them . Yep she was terrified !!! . Go wind up elsewhere. " The thread is in relation to women in general. That was one instance. It doesn't make you less of a man to acknowledge that you accept that you should maybe just be a little more thoughtful of how your actions may be perceived by others in future | |||
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"To be fair If I'm sat on a bus and a random bloke starts chatting to me it's the least thing I want. Yeah by all means if anyone gets on and starts doing anything untoward then feel free to but in but chatting no I wouldn't appreciate that. Not having a pop just saying how I me personally would feel. Maybe i know how and when to start a conversation and when not to. You have bever spoke to someone on a bus ? So how do you know that your conversation would be welcomed by a single woman on a bus, and when it wouldn't? By there very first reply actually. You can tell right away if someone wants to chat or not. Here's a thought you may hopefully give consideration to. Replying might mean that she views it as the safest way to deal with you rather than to tell you that she doesn't want to chat and that it's making her feel uncomfortable. Yeah she was really worried when the conversation got to schooling and she knew my daughters and classed with my son and said tell them xxxxx was asking for them . Yep she was terrified !!! . Go wind up elsewhere. " In the one example you have given. More than one of us have said we would have felt uncomfortable. That doesn't mean every woman would. But you seem fairly resistant to listening to other viewpoints. Well no you do listen. Then just discard it. | |||
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"Stay sexy, don't get murdered ??" Excellent advice | |||
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"But the way some females are talking in here and some guys , women are living in constant fear of every situation, that just aint true . Guys who avoid women are just being stupid . Face the facts , simple safety steps for women as mentioned way earlier and awareness of surroundings are more than enough for most. It funny that only a few women have actually joined this thread. Maybe they dont agree entirely with the nature of the thread . " Awareness of surroundings is in relation to the men. You're just coming across as pig-headed now rather than give a little. Please stop it | |||
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"Ffs this thread is relentless People can sit wherever they want on a bus. People can walk wherever they want on the pavement. Some people (not me, I find it irritating) always make small talk on a bus or plane or whatever. As long as it's done in a non sleazy and non intimidating way what's the harm? No one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Seriously if some have an issue with that then maybe they have the problem full stop. Tolerance.
No-one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Spoken like a man who hasn't taken on board anything said by various women on this thread. Because quite simply, you're idea of non intimidating and hers might be very different, examples have been given as to why a woman may feel intimidated in different situations. If you are not prepared to consider that possibility then you are not displaying tolerance. But arrogance."Catch a grip. You expect me to get on a bus, survey every single person on the bus and the consider where I may sit given a snap shot assessment of who may or may not be intimidated by a guy simply looking a seat on a bus and not to have to talk to anyone? If a woman has a problem with my non sleazy and non intimidating manner SHE has a problem!! Because no one else ( and I work with a lot of female colleagues has ever had) If you bothered to read my previous posts a long way up the thread you will see my stance on sexual harassment and sleaziness. So if I get on the bus and there's one seat left and it's beside you tough shit, I'm sitting there because I'm not standing because you might be intimidated by me. The absolutely hypocrisy of your post with total arrogance. | |||
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"But the way some females are talking in here and some guys , women are living in constant fear of every situation, that just aint true . Guys who avoid women are just being stupid . Face the facts , simple safety steps for women as mentioned way earlier and awareness of surroundings are more than enough for most. It funny that only a few women have actually joined this thread. Maybe they dont agree entirely with the nature of the thread . " So if the women on the thread don't agree with you, it's okay you're still totally right cos all the woman that haven't commented must agree with you? Jesus, actually shaking my head here. Would be better off banging it against a brick wall. | |||
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"But the way some females are talking in here and some guys , women are living in constant fear of every situation, that just aint true . Guys who avoid women are just being stupid . Face the facts , simple safety steps for women as mentioned way earlier and awareness of surroundings are more than enough for most. It funny that only a few women have actually joined this thread. Maybe they dont agree entirely with the nature of the thread . So if the women on the thread don't agree with you, it's okay you're still totally right cos all the woman that haven't commented must agree with you? Jesus, actually shaking my head here. Would be better off banging it against a brick wall. " It's a shame there isn't an emoji for that. It would be the most used here lately. | |||
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"But the way some females are talking in here and some guys , women are living in constant fear of every situation, that just aint true . Guys who avoid women are just being stupid . Face the facts , simple safety steps for women as mentioned way earlier and awareness of surroundings are more than enough for most. It funny that only a few women have actually joined this thread. Maybe they dont agree entirely with the nature of the thread . So if the women on the thread don't agree with you, it's okay you're still totally right cos all the woman that haven't commented must agree with you? Jesus, actually shaking my head here. Would be better off banging it against a brick wall. " Actually Jen im curious when ive taken all the flack as a man yet if you go to the start of the thread where some women disagreed with the thread you have went after the guys opinion and ignored your fellow females opinions. ?? | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me. " | |||
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"Ffs this thread is relentless People can sit wherever they want on a bus. People can walk wherever they want on the pavement. Some people (not me, I find it irritating) always make small talk on a bus or plane or whatever. As long as it's done in a non sleazy and non intimidating way what's the harm? No one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Seriously if some have an issue with that then maybe they have the problem full stop. Tolerance.
No-one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Spoken like a man who hasn't taken on board anything said by various women on this thread. Because quite simply, you're idea of non intimidating and hers might be very different, examples have been given as to why a woman may feel intimidated in different situations. If you are not prepared to consider that possibility then you are not displaying tolerance. But arrogance.
Catch a grip. You expect me to get on a bus, survey every single person on the bus and the consider where I may sit given a snap shot assessment of who may or may not be intimidated by a guy simply looking a seat on a bus and not to have to talk to anyone?
If a woman has a problem with my non sleazy and non intimidating manner SHE has a problem!! Because no one else ( and I work with a lot of female colleagues has ever had) If you bothered to read my previous posts a long way up the thread you will see my stance on sexual harassment and sleaziness.
So if I get on the bus and there's one seat left and it's beside you tough shit, I'm sitting there because I'm not standing because you might be intimidated by me.
The absolutely hypocrisy of your post with total arrogance. "That's not what I was talking about. The example given was he got on a bus, only one female on it and he sat near her and started talking. If you read MY earlier post you would see I specifically stated it would be different if the bus was busy or full. And once again, your 'non-intimidating behaviour' could seem anything but to another person. All I'm saying is think your actions over. As others have also suggested. If you aren't prepared to do that and just contend that everyone else has the problem then yes, that seems like arrogance to me | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me. "Yeah well when I get on the bus and there's one seat left I'm taking it!
Others have a problem with that? get a taxi!
You stick to your unagi! | |||
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"But the way some females are talking in here and some guys , women are living in constant fear of every situation, that just aint true . Guys who avoid women are just being stupid . Face the facts , simple safety steps for women as mentioned way earlier and awareness of surroundings are more than enough for most. It funny that only a few women have actually joined this thread. Maybe they dont agree entirely with the nature of the thread . So if the women on the thread don't agree with you, it's okay you're still totally right cos all the woman that haven't commented must agree with you? Jesus, actually shaking my head here. Would be better off banging it against a brick wall. Actually Jen im curious when ive taken all the flack as a man yet if you go to the start of the thread where some women disagreed with the thread you have went after the guys opinion and ignored your fellow females opinions. ??" Doesn't matter to me if it's a male or female opinion or post if I agree with it. The reason you are taking the flack as you put it is you are the one that has made comments I felt should be challenged. If you want to make out it's something personal against you that is not the case. | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me.
Yeah well when I get on the bus and there's one seat left I'm taking it!
Others have a problem with that? get a taxi!
You stick to your unagi! "It's never been about when there's only one seat left...more when there's only one seat taken | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me.
Yeah well when I get on the bus and there's one seat left I'm taking it!
Others have a problem with that? get a taxi!
You stick to your unagi! "I don't think anyone is thinking in terms of a busy bus, more likely a quiet, late night one, where approaching a lone woman is likely to unnerve her. | |||
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"It depends on how you react to the comment or actions. Some women might be horrified whereas someone else may see it funny. I have not noticed it becoming worse and feel sorry for guys these days as they need to tread very carefully around women in case they get accused of sexual misconduct. Exactly this. I also listened to the radio show this morning and yes some of it was bang out of order but some was a case of the woman being part of todays snowflake groups . One fathers advice was to avoid it as she should not have to deal with things like that in life , workplace banter. Young people dont have a clue how to deal with life these days as there to overly protected from absolutely everything. In 10 years any country in the world could invade us and all they will need to do is tell the young people they will attack them with some silver tongued banter if they dont surrender. Its embarrassing." I notice this thread hasn't been flipped on its head here no offence ladies but this is very much a 2 way street i've worked in bars for years n have plenty of woman young and old groping and getting pretty handsy with me, punters, and other members of the staff some of these incidents got brushed off as the individual being an arse but some leave lasting with people leaving their jobs for fear of a repeat incident or confrontation i think personally if i told my boss i felt uncomfortable because of certain patrons harrassing me at work it would be treated very differently due to fact i'm a man and the issues for men haven't been covered in the mainstram media to the same extent? | |||
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"Ffs this thread is relentless People can sit wherever they want on a bus. People can walk wherever they want on the pavement. Some people (not me, I find it irritating) always make small talk on a bus or plane or whatever. As long as it's done in a non sleazy and non intimidating way what's the harm? No one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Seriously if some have an issue with that then maybe they have the problem full stop. Tolerance.
No-one should have to worry that where they sit on a bus could be taken the wrong way by a stranger. Spoken like a man who hasn't taken on board anything said by various women on this thread. Because quite simply, you're idea of non intimidating and hers might be very different, examples have been given as to why a woman may feel intimidated in different situations. If you are not prepared to consider that possibility then you are not displaying tolerance. But arrogance.
Catch a grip. You expect me to get on a bus, survey every single person on the bus and the consider where I may sit given a snap shot assessment of who may or may not be intimidated by a guy simply looking a seat on a bus and not to have to talk to anyone?
If a woman has a problem with my non sleazy and non intimidating manner SHE has a problem!! Because no one else ( and I work with a lot of female colleagues has ever had) If you bothered to read my previous posts a long way up the thread you will see my stance on sexual harassment and sleaziness.
So if I get on the bus and there's one seat left and it's beside you tough shit, I'm sitting there because I'm not standing because you might be intimidated by me.
The absolutely hypocrisy of your post with total arrogance.
That's not what I was talking about. The example given was he got on a bus, only one female on it and he sat near her and started talking. If you read MY earlier post you would see I specifically stated it would be different if the bus was busy or full. And once again, your 'non-intimidating behaviour' could seem anything but to another person. All I'm saying is think your actions over. As others have also suggested. If you aren't prepared to do that and just contend that everyone else has the problem then yes, that seems like arrogance to me"I actually said sit nearby not next to her, i also sai strike a conversation not start talking to her, a conversation is a 2 way street. If its not 2 way its harrasment. And i said you find that out after your 1st friendly comment. I also stated and have restated numerous times that i agree with all your abusive behaviour comments but some things are not harrasment. Im totally on your side with most thing on this thread. Except when people made it personal and unacceptable. | |||
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"It depends on how you react to the comment or actions. Some women might be horrified whereas someone else may see it funny. I have not noticed it becoming worse and feel sorry for guys these days as they need to tread very carefully around women in case they get accused of sexual misconduct. Exactly this. I also listened to the radio show this morning and yes some of it was bang out of order but some was a case of the woman being part of todays snowflake groups . One fathers advice was to avoid it as she should not have to deal with things like that in life , workplace banter. Young people dont have a clue how to deal with life these days as there to overly protected from absolutely everything. In 10 years any country in the world could invade us and all they will need to do is tell the young people they will attack them with some silver tongued banter if they dont surrender. Its embarrassing. I notice this thread hasn't been flipped on its head here no offence ladies but this is very much a 2 way street i've worked in bars for years n have plenty of woman young and old groping and getting pretty handsy with me, punters, and other members of the staff some of these incidents got brushed off as the individual being an arse but some leave lasting with people leaving their jobs for fear of a repeat incident or confrontation i think personally if i told my boss i felt uncomfortable because of certain patrons harrassing me at work it would be treated very differently due to fact i'm a man and the issues for men haven't been covered in the mainstram media to the same extent? "There were some comments about this earlier on and it's true yeah. My brother wore a kilt to a wedding once and at least 5 women tried to put their hands up his kilt or lift it. Some guys would love the attention, he was mortified. Time was I might have been one of those women "just having a laugh" (not to my brother lol) but when he told me how he felt about it I felt ashamed and I most certainly wouldn't do it to anyone now | |||
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"It depends on how you react to the comment or actions. Some women might be horrified whereas someone else may see it funny. I have not noticed it becoming worse and feel sorry for guys these days as they need to tread very carefully around women in case they get accused of sexual misconduct. Exactly this. I also listened to the radio show this morning and yes some of it was bang out of order but some was a case of the woman being part of todays snowflake groups . One fathers advice was to avoid it as she should not have to deal with things like that in life , workplace banter. Young people dont have a clue how to deal with life these days as there to overly protected from absolutely everything. In 10 years any country in the world could invade us and all they will need to do is tell the young people they will attack them with some silver tongued banter if they dont surrender. Its embarrassing. I notice this thread hasn't been flipped on its head here no offence ladies but this is very much a 2 way street i've worked in bars for years n have plenty of woman young and old groping and getting pretty handsy with me, punters, and other members of the staff some of these incidents got brushed off as the individual being an arse but some leave lasting with people leaving their jobs for fear of a repeat incident or confrontation i think personally if i told my boss i felt uncomfortable because of certain patrons harrassing me at work it would be treated very differently due to fact i'm a man and the issues for men haven't been covered in the mainstram media to the same extent?
There were some comments about this earlier on and it's true yeah. My brother wore a kilt to a wedding once and at least 5 women tried to put their hands up his kilt or lift it. Some guys would love the attention, he was mortified. Time was I might have been one of those women "just having a laugh" (not to my brother lol) but when he told me how he felt about it I felt ashamed and I most certainly wouldn't do it to anyone now"It happened to my ex husband. Wasn't even well on in the night. Standing at the bar before the meal...his female boss just lifts it up. She thought it was hilarious...She was the only one. Fuckin boot x | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me.
Yeah well when I get on the bus and there's one seat left I'm taking it!
Others have a problem with that? get a taxi!
You stick to your unagi!
It's never been about when there's only one seat left...more when there's only one seat taken "There is no feckin bus!! It's about sexual harassment, the bus is a hypothetical scenario. If I was the only one on the bus He Devil would talk to me too( assuming he didn't know who I was! ) I feckin know he would!! And I couldn't be arsed listening to him there either but it doesn't mean I'd feel threatened or intimidated and no woman should either unless his actions were sleazy and/or deliberately intimidating.
Some people on this thread are paranoid and/or intolerant. | |||
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"Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. It's about thinking of how others feel and putting that before our own feelings. Not a concept that is popular I'm sure but there it is. I for one am out of this thread. It's too circular for me.
Yeah well when I get on the bus and there's one seat left I'm taking it!
Others have a problem with that? get a taxi!
You stick to your unagi!
It's never been about when there's only one seat left...more when there's only one seat taken
There is no feckin bus!! It's about sexual harassment, the bus is a hypothetical scenario.
If I was the only one on the bus He Devil would talk to me too( assuming he didn't know who I was! ) I feckin know he would!! And I couldn't be arsed listening to him there either but it doesn't mean I'd feel threatened or intimidated and no woman should either unless his actions were sleazy and/or deliberately intimidating.
Some people on this thread are paranoid and/or intolerant. "I expected better from you Meh | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
