FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Manners and politeness......yes or no?
Manners and politeness......yes or no?
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I read a lot of profiles on here and a lot of them say the same things regarding not wanting dick pics, some good conversation and wanting politeness and respect (rightfully enough of course, everyone deserves that) but well it doesn’t really seem to work as I’ve had more than a few 2 or 3 message convos then been completely ignored lol I’ve been nothing but respectful and tbh I don’t send dick pics out as there are plenty on my profile so I don’t feel the need.....it just gets me thinking do manners, respect and politeness really work....I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks about that Yay or Nay lol |
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Very good point thank you I get where your coming from but if someone’s been polite and respectful as asked to be, would it not be a rash decision to ignore someone who’s doing as asked on said profile after a couple messages ? All you see are statuses about men being arseholes, why send dickpics, where’s the manners and also where’s the good guys gone....well there are good guys out there and trust me they do try |
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Quite right as well there is no need for anyone on here to be like that I definitely agree but that’s why I asked in general do manners etc work.....I could never bring myself to be horrible to anyone on here as it’s defintely not in my nature |
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"Very good point thank you I get where your coming from but if someone’s been polite and respectful as asked to be, would it not be a rash decision to ignore someone who’s doing as asked on said profile after a couple messages ? All you see are statuses about men being arseholes, why send dickpics, where’s the manners and also where’s the good guys gone....well there are good guys out there and trust me they do try "
Single ladies a lot of messages. As Bluebell said, we have lives outside of Fab. Some profiles make the cut, some don’t.
You shouldn’t give up as there will be ladies you will mesh with, but you can’t expect everyone you send a message to, to respond. |
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"Time is precious and i have a life outside Fab. I cant spare time to have conversations with 100's of men who i have no intentions of meeting."
I agree 100% on that Anyone who wastes your time deserves a slap tbh as time is precious, everyone’s is as we all have a life outside of Fab, I mean I’m a dad and until recently was a full time carer too and will be again soon but I think you’ve missed the point a bit as I’m talking about genuine guys who want to meet but they actually have manners and respect for others |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Ohh just bombard them with fancy a fuck messages ...usually works
In all honesty there's no right way that works with everyone..it could be the message however polite n respectful was bland and didn't stand out from the countless messages they receive or they looked at your profile and it didn't stand out ....only way to be on here is be yourself ..some will like you some won't |
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"Very good point thank you I get where your coming from but if someone’s been polite and respectful as asked to be, would it not be a rash decision to ignore someone who’s doing as asked on said profile after a couple messages ? All you see are statuses about men being arseholes, why send dickpics, where’s the manners and also where’s the good guys gone....well there are good guys out there and trust me they do try
Single ladies a lot of messages. As Bluebell said, we have lives outside of Fab. Some profiles make the cut, some don’t.
You shouldn’t give up as there will be ladies you will mesh with, but you can’t expect everyone you send a message to, to respond."
Lol I never said anything about giving up But you are totally correct in saying that so I’ve never expected anything from anyone let alone a reply to every message, it’s just not in my nature I have sent a few messages out and not got a reply but I do say in the message if you don’t reply il take the hint.....so I mostly only message people who have sent me a wink or have messaged me first, sometimes if they have fabbed a pic of mines and I have been polite and respectful yet the convo seems to just stop.....is it possible that it could be a case of being too nice ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read a lot of profiles on here and a lot of them say the same things regarding not wanting dick pics, some good conversation and wanting politeness and respect (rightfully enough of course, everyone deserves that) but well it doesn’t really seem to work as I’ve had more than a few 2 or 3 message convos then been completely ignored lol I’ve been nothing but respectful and tbh I don’t send dick pics out as there are plenty on my profile so I don’t feel the need.....it just gets me thinking do manners, respect and politeness really work....I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks about that Yay or Nay lol"
I’d say there’s more to it buddy than just politeness and being respectful, women need to be engaged mentally in order to be interested, not looked at your profile but I would suggest that the fact you have them on display doesn’t leave much to the imagination for the ladies, they’ve seen one they’ve seen them all!
From my own perspective I would be much more attracted to a profile that doesn’t have their bits out on display but tasteful teasing pictures because let’s be honest our own thoughts are where foreplay begins, so pretty sure on that note if I feel that way about women’s profiles the same could be said and applicable to the way women perceive men’s profiles, that said you may have better luck making the said pictures private and making sure you have a clear profile saying what you want and are looking for and stick to it, try to be constructive in what you want and not be generic and trying to mound your profile to suit everyone. in the end you might just not be for them but if you write an honest profile I’m sure you will find luck, being verified is a big factor too, get yourself along to socials where you can establish yourself as a non weirdo because everyone is a weirdo until proven otherwise on here lol
On the flip side though you have to remember the ratio of female to male members are exponential and ever growing.
Best of luck to you, try not to lose heart
Chef
Women get a lot of messages some wanted, some unwanted so patience is a key point, |
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By *aenMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
There could be many reasons. It happens. I wouldn’t worry about it. If there’s something in your messages that makes a connection then a conversation might flourish - but then again it might not. Ultimately there has to be an attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ohh just bombard them with fancy a fuck messages ...usually works
In all honesty there's no right way that works with everyone..it could be the message however polite n respectful was bland and didn't stand out from the countless messages they receive or they looked at your profile and it didn't stand out ....only way to be on here is be yourself ..some will like you some won't "
Well said Bunkie |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice"
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me "
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it."
Did you mean to post this in another thread? It seems a wee bit out of context for this one |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with"
This...
Plus I sometimes return messages to be polite before checking a persons profile. Elements of their profile might put me off which will halt and further messages being sent from my end. |
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"I read a lot of profiles on here and a lot of them say the same things regarding not wanting dick pics, some good conversation and wanting politeness and respect (rightfully enough of course, everyone deserves that) but well it doesn’t really seem to work as I’ve had more than a few 2 or 3 message convos then been completely ignored lol I’ve been nothing but respectful and tbh I don’t send dick pics out as there are plenty on my profile so I don’t feel the need.....it just gets me thinking do manners, respect and politeness really work....I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks about that Yay or Nay lol
I’d say there’s more to it buddy than just politeness and being respectful, women need to be engaged mentally in order to be interested, not looked at your profile but I would suggest that the fact you have them on display doesn’t leave much to the imagination for the ladies, they’ve seen one they’ve seen them all!
From my own perspective I would be much more attracted to a profile that doesn’t have their bits out on display but tasteful teasing pictures because let’s be honest our own thoughts are where foreplay begins, so pretty sure on that note if I feel that way about women’s profiles the same could be said and applicable to the way women perceive men’s profiles, that said you may have better luck making the said pictures private and making sure you have a clear profile saying what you want and are looking for and stick to it, try to be constructive in what you want and not be generic and trying to mound your profile to suit everyone. in the end you might just not be for them but if you write an honest profile I’m sure you will find luck, being verified is a big factor too, get yourself along to socials where you can establish yourself as a non weirdo because everyone is a weirdo until proven otherwise on here lol
On the flip side though you have to remember the ratio of female to male members are exponential and ever growing.
Best of luck to you, try not to lose heart
Chef
Women get a lot of messages some wanted, some unwanted so patience is a key point, "
I have to admit I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with your response Chef I’m not losing heart btw far from it so no worries there like I said this is just a general question to help me out and answers like yours are pretty bang on and good advice too I am actually verified and have had meets too.....I don’t wanna fuck my way through the site or that I’ll leave that to the other guys that little statement you made though....everyone’s a weirdo on here until proved otherwise...that’s fuckn hilarious but also very true.......also think a review of my pics is needed....see this is why I asked the question lol thank you btw Chef you’ve given me plenty of food for thought |
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it."
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation "
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now? |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with"
Sorry to say this but I think you’ll find out that I am accepting and have been listening to replies especially the one from Chef as he pretty much nailed everything I asked a question all of you nice people have replied and I have simply said “but what if”...you have my word it’s not me throwing obstacles up and not listening cos if someone can say “yes but what if?” to my reply it can often show me where I’ve went wrong I get your second answer as well but as I usually only reply to people who contact me first, why contact me if there’s nothing there to begin with ? I wouldn’t message anyone if there was nothing there for me to begin with, I assume everyone else has that same opinion |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with
Sorry to say this but I think you’ll find out that I am accepting and have been listening to replies especially the one from Chef as he pretty much nailed everything I asked a question all of you nice people have replied and I have simply said “but what if”...you have my word it’s not me throwing obstacles up and not listening cos if someone can say “yes but what if?” to my reply it can often show me where I’ve went wrong I get your second answer as well but as I usually only reply to people who contact me first, why contact me if there’s nothing there to begin with ? I wouldn’t message anyone if there was nothing there for me to begin with, I assume everyone else has that same opinion "
All you can do is be who you are and if folk like it I’m sure you’ll strike a good rapport with them. |
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now? "
No I don’t get it now because no one is interfering with my profile content.....I asked the question about politeness, NOT YOU, It’s MY profie we are chatting about now so your opinion on how rude and impolite it is, is actually rude and impolite in itself unless I’ve asked you to speak on my behal and I’ve not-remember my profile not yours-then tbh just bypass this thread, it’s not a hard thing to do OK ajust because YOU think something’s impolite doesn’t actually mean it is eapeciallyif it doesn’t even concern you....Got it now |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with
This...
Plus I sometimes return messages to be polite before checking a persons profile. Elements of their profile might put me off which will halt and further messages being sent from my end."
Thanks this answer makes a lot of sense tbh and you’re second point is a gd one....I’m gonna definitely have a profile review once I’ve stopped replying as I think it could def be toned down a little....sorry that’s a lie it could do with a lot |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with
Sorry to say this but I think you’ll find out that I am accepting and have been listening to replies especially the one from Chef as he pretty much nailed everything I asked a question all of you nice people have replied and I have simply said “but what if”...you have my word it’s not me throwing obstacles up and not listening cos if someone can say “yes but what if?” to my reply it can often show me where I’ve went wrong I get your second answer as well but as I usually only reply to people who contact me first, why contact me if there’s nothing there to begin with ? I wouldn’t message anyone if there was nothing there for me to begin with, I assume everyone else has that same opinion
All you can do is be who you are and if folk like it I’m sure you’ll strike a good rapport with them."
I like this, it’s very true! I have actually got 2 Ladies on here I do have a good rapport with and we can chat about anything which I do enjoy, the social element is just as much fun as the sexual element sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now?
No I don’t get it now because no one is interfering with my profile content.....I asked the question about politeness, NOT YOU, It’s MY profie we are chatting about now so your opinion on how rude and impolite it is, is actually rude and impolite in itself unless I’ve asked you to speak on my behal and I’ve not-remember my profile not yours-then tbh just bypass this thread, it’s not a hard thing to do OK ajust because YOU think something’s impolite doesn’t actually mean it is eapeciallyif it doesn’t even concern you....Got it now "
I can see why people lose interest in you quickly. |
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"It's possible that folk just lose interest in the chat ...nothing to do with being too nice
You make a good point, a very good point Infact but after 2 messages, that’s kinda quick to lose interest....I have ADD and couldnt lose interest that fast lol I just don’t wanna be the guy who sends a nice first message and then change on the 2nd or 3rd one if that makes sense.....I can be total filth quite easily lol but I’d rather keep that bit between the Lady and me
You're not really accepting any of the explanations you're being offered...why is that?
And folk can lose interest even after 1 message ...its often not there to begin with
Sorry to say this but I think you’ll find out that I am accepting and have been listening to replies especially the one from Chef as he pretty much nailed everything I asked a question all of you nice people have replied and I have simply said “but what if”...you have my word it’s not me throwing obstacles up and not listening cos if someone can say “yes but what if?” to my reply it can often show me where I’ve went wrong I get your second answer as well but as I usually only reply to people who contact me first, why contact me if there’s nothing there to begin with ? I wouldn’t message anyone if there was nothing there for me to begin with, I assume everyone else has that same opinion
All you can do is be who you are and if folk like it I’m sure you’ll strike a good rapport with them.
I like this, it’s very true! I have actually got 2 Ladies on here I do have a good rapport with and we can chat about anything which I do enjoy, the social element is just as much fun as the sexual element sometimes "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now? "
I’d take it this comment was in reference to
Me? As it was posted directly after my comment, as I had offered the OP my own personal opinion as a guy on and off the site, I at first found it difficult to establish myself,
Nobody as far as I can see on the thread, myself included has interfered or told the OP to change his profile, he was looking for advice and opinions of which I felt I gave an impartial unbias one based on my own personal opinion!
Not sure how to take this at all buddy, are you on the wind up? Has someone interfered with your profile structure?
Anyway not vying for arguments I’ve enough drama in my life lol
Think if you thought I was interfering you have taken it out out context with regards to the purpose of my comment being constructive not objective
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now?
No I don’t get it now because no one is interfering with my profile content.....I asked the question about politeness, NOT YOU, It’s MY profie we are chatting about now so your opinion on how rude and impolite it is, is actually rude and impolite in itself unless I’ve asked you to speak on my behal and I’ve not-remember my profile not yours-then tbh just bypass this thread, it’s not a hard thing to do OK ajust because YOU think something’s impolite doesn’t actually mean it is eapeciallyif it doesn’t even concern you....Got it now
I can see why people lose interest in you quickly."
Well hopefully you’ll lose interest in me and this thread even quicker than anyone else and just go away |
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"One thing I don't appreciate is unsolicited profile advice. If I wanted it, I'd post a stupid thread about it.
I don't tell other people what to say, so don't expect me to appreciate it.
Eh? Think you maybe posting here by mistake aye ? No one said anything to you about your profile.....this is a thread bout politeness during conversation
I'm saying it's impolite to try to interfere in someone elses' profile content.
Either in private, or in the forum. I've had both, and both are impolite. Got it now?
I’d take it this comment was in reference to
Me? As it was posted directly after my comment, as I had offered the OP my own personal opinion as a guy on and off the site, I at first found it difficult to establish myself,
Nobody as far as I can see on the thread, myself included has interfered or told the OP to change his profile, he was looking for advice and opinions of which I felt I gave an impartial unbias one based on my own personal opinion!
Not sure how to take this at all buddy, are you on the wind up? Has someone interfered with your profile structure?
Anyway not vying for arguments I’ve enough drama in my life lol
Think if you thought I was interfering you have taken it out out context with regards to the purpose of my comment being constructive not objective
"
Very well said Chef and appreciated too as is everyone’s comments too, no one has been objective every answer has been of great help....the only person being objective here is the other person that’s being very rude and politely abusive lol it would be a lot easier for him to just not say anything at all and not even look at this thread |
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I always say it's nice to be nice, and I treat everyone the same, till I get to know them.
If I receive messages from folks that don't fit what I'm ideally after, then I still give them a polite "thanks, but no thanks" style message back.
If you treat folk like they're not worthy of your attention, or are just nasty to them, then your name will end up as mud. Although this place has thousands? of members, stories and opinions can travel fast.
Mandy |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
It doesn’t take much to lose interest in a conversation with a guy. Personally a chat has to grab my attention and keep it without being rude and crude.
The art of conversation is dying. I don’t like text speak and I like chats to be funny and entertaining. They don’t have to be about sex either.
We are fickle creatures so I wouldn’t read too much into people not replying. Could be if they get a lot of messages yours has slipped down the page.
Chin up OP |
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"I read a lot of profiles on here and a lot of them say the same things regarding not wanting dick pics, some good conversation and wanting politeness and respect (rightfully enough of course, everyone deserves that) but well it doesn’t really seem to work as I’ve had more than a few 2 or 3 message convos then been completely ignored lol I’ve been nothing but respectful and tbh I don’t send dick pics out as there are plenty on my profile so I don’t feel the need.....it just gets me thinking do manners, respect and politeness really work....I’d love to hear what everyone else thinks about that Yay or Nay lol" yes I do believe it does.
But to demand manners,respect & politness from others you must first have to have manners,respect & politness and a lot who demand it dont |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shit happen mate. Plenty more folk out there to talk to.
Definitely my second favourite answer tonight actual class bro " it happened to me last year was getting on great with a lass went on a wee date spent the night together. Next day everything is good. Then like two days later it all changed. I was gutted and had no idea what I had done wrong. Kept asking myself all the time what happened. Then eventually I just thought fuck it shit happens. ‘‘Tis the best way |
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By *ubbly2012Woman
over a year ago
inver somewhere |
Women do get a lot of messages.
One thing i have noticed tho, is the increasing number of copy and paste paragraphs for the initial message.
Us women can notice a copy and paste job a mile away.
Its an instant no reply from me.
Us women are not generic...we are individuals... and like to be treated and spoke to as such |
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"Women do get a lot of messages.
One thing i have noticed tho, is the increasing number of copy and paste paragraphs for the initial message.
Us women can notice a copy and paste job a mile away.
Its an instant no reply from me.
Us women are not generic...we are individuals... and like to be treated and spoke to as such"
Exactly what she said! Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women do get a lot of messages.
One thing i have noticed tho, is the increasing number of copy and paste paragraphs for the initial message.
Us women can notice a copy and paste job a mile away.
Its an instant no reply from me.
Us women are not generic...we are individuals... and like to be treated and spoke to as such"
Awww Ffs I'll need to find another copy n paste job. Didn't think I was found out.
Was hoping that I'd be seen as an individual who gives an experience different from most guys.
Walks away over the sunset with a bucket over my head dripping from paste |
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By *ubbly2012Woman
over a year ago
inver somewhere |
"Women do get a lot of messages.
One thing i have noticed tho, is the increasing number of copy and paste paragraphs for the initial message.
Us women can notice a copy and paste job a mile away.
Its an instant no reply from me.
Us women are not generic...we are individuals... and like to be treated and spoke to as such
Awww Ffs I'll need to find another copy n paste job. Didn't think I was found out.
Was hoping that I'd be seen as an individual who gives an experience different from most guys.
Walks away over the sunset with a bucket over my head dripping from paste "
Go grab a banana...and a tunnocks tea cake... and meet me in the local library....
Walks away....mission impossible tune playing on low in the background........ |
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