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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I still get  embarressed when i think of it i had been on the drink most of the day and got chatting to a girl and i said if she came up the road with me she would cum with anticipation how cringe worth was that she did laugh. However she did come home with me and well lets leave it at that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I told o girl I had a trick up my sleeve, she said ‘oh are you gonna do a card show?’ I said ‘nope, I have a rag soaked in chloroform up my sleeve’... jokes on you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When in our twenties at the Glasgow Savoy nightclub, my mate Tam went up to a girl and took out a 10p and said, "go and phone your mammy and tell her you'll wont be home tonight" 
The phone at the savoy took the ten pence lolllllllllllllllllll |
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A female school friend of mine has the best coneback for one particularly cheesey line.
Whenever she was asked by a guy in a bar or club how she’d like her eggs in the morning, she’d just say...... unfertilised  |
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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago
Land Of Naughtiness |
Is your dad a chicken farmer cause you look like you know how to raise a cock 
Is that a mirror in your pants cause I can see myself in them?
I hope you know CPR cause you just took my breath away  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're fuckjng hot....you must be Welsh "
Totally, totally random and I didn't even reply to him. The expression on my face simply said "wtf are you on about mate?" and he wandered off with his tail between his legs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never forget one chat up line that worked, still can't get over it.
at a night out down in East Midlands, there was a girl walking by with a portion of chips, (yeah in the nightclub) and upon passing a group of guys, one of the guys tripped her up, and I mean his leg kept rising as he caught her leg n his leg eventually the height of basil fealty high step. She fell face first, her chips everywhere and said "oh you all right love" as he picked her up he said "you want some company" n she said "OK" and then they fecking sat down together chatting. When they did sit all his pals were shouting "yeeeahhhaaaa" n whole whistles etc....
Ffs at the time, imagine doing that to a girl in Glasgow, she'd break your nose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.
Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.
She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".
He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.
Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.
She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".
He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me" "
yards away, not years ffs, now that's why you should proof read  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not the worst chat up line but it floored me for six - was on a stag do in Newcastle - eating a bag of chips along the Bigg Market and this busty honey just saw me and said “I’m starving - I’ll give u a blowjob for a chip” - I said “you shag me and I’ll give u the whole bag “
Needless to say I needed a fresh bag of chips later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.
Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.
She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".
He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me" "
brilliant made me titter
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