"Breathe OP. Take a step back from the keyboard before you do something that gets YOU banned.
They aren’t worth it  "
Yes OP take a breath, just wait till Admin takes up my cunt of the week idea and you can just vote for them then  |
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Sometimes i wonder what makes a person a "time waster" is it because they chatted for a while then slowly backed away when they realised the person was not someone they'd like to meet? Or is it because they arranged a meet or social then cancelled? I've had people ghost on me on a few occasions. I'm not angry about it. The nature of the site means it happens sometimes. It's a waste of my time yes but if someone is brave in chat then becomes afraid at the reality (especially if it's their first meet) and do a runner i wouldn't give them shit about it. It just means they're not ready for things and need to take some time to think.
Had one person ghost on me twice lol. Still chatted to him and said he should take a break from fab and work out his feelings before arranging any more meets with other people.
If you don't have an ego about things then it's irritating, yes, but not a hanging offence
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"Sometimes i wonder what makes a person a "time waster" is it because they chatted for a while then slowly backed away when they realised the person was not someone they'd like to meet? Or is it because they arranged a meet or social then cancelled? I've had people ghost on me on a few occasions. I'm not angry about it. The nature of the site means it happens sometimes. It's a waste of my time yes but if someone is brave in chat then becomes afraid at the reality (especially if it's their first meet) and do a runner i wouldn't give them shit about it. It just means they're not ready for things and need to take some time to think.
Had one person ghost on me twice lol. Still chatted to him and said he should take a break from fab and work out his feelings before arranging any more meets with other people.
If you don't have an ego about things then it's irritating, yes, but not a hanging offence
"
I’m coming from the same place as you I think. I’ve chatted with propel online where it seems promising then the chat kinda fizzles out, that’s not timewasting, I don’t think. I wouldn’t even consider someone saying they’re interested in meeting but never setting a date to be timewasting either. Only if you set a date, and either cancel last minute (more than once) or do a no show.... that’s into timewater territory
And I totally agree with you about the idea of a meet can you really excite someone but the actual reality of it can scare them off. I’m actually quite sympathetic to that last minute fear, I had it at the start too, and took a wee while to get over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some sense being spoken.
Some arrogant people on FAB think ANYONE who doesn't jump when they click their fingers is a timewaster.
Some of us have jobs, families, bikes to maintain, hamsters to feed, dogs to walk.....nae money etc!
I'm fast coming to the conclusion that this site is a busted flush for me (compared to the fun place it was a few years back)
Maybe now that I'm back to full health (long story)I just don't see FAB as no1 priority, nowhere near it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I totally agree there is two sides to every story, I also don’t understand why people send you a message and block you before you can even reply to them, what’s that all about?
It’s no as if it was a shity message that they sent!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been brandished a timewaster before for refusing to meet someone, to some if you're a woman on here you should be willing to meet anyone who asks. 
Peoples opinions on what constitutes a timewaster vary massively.
Someone can only waste your time if it is given to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been brandished a timewaster before for refusing to meet someone, to some if you're a woman on here you should be willing to meet anyone who asks.
Peoples opinions on what constitutes a timewaster vary massively.
Someone can only waste your time if it is given to them. "
I agree it’s not fair that you be branded a time waster for not wanting to meet, as for time given 60 messages down the line is a lot of time and probably way longer than anyone else, it’s probably a bit unfair me branding her a time waster, but I do think it’s down to shyness on her part.
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"I've been brandished a timewaster before for refusing to meet someone, to some if you're a woman on here you should be willing to meet anyone who asks.
Peoples opinions on what constitutes a timewaster vary massively.
Someone can only waste your time if it is given to them.
I agree it’s not fair that you be branded a time waster for not wanting to meet, as for time given 60 messages down the line is a lot of time and probably way longer than anyone else, it’s probably a bit unfair me branding her a time waster, but I do think it’s down to shyness on her part.
"
So nobody arranged to meet then ghosted on you OP?
Imo that's part of the deal here. It's not timewasting. It just happens. |
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"?? got patched"
What's patched lol.
If after 60 messages discussing possible meeting then agreeing when both free and then saying I don't want to meet you now , I would say they have been timewasters, only IF they said everything was good time wise ,kids etc for that meet to happen . OR if they arranged a meet and pulled out for NO REASON again timewasters. I would always want to chat on phone before meeting, 1 you know the person is genuine and 2 you get a feel how a meet will go. If you can't talk on a phone for 5 minutes without awkward silences, rest assured your coffee meet will end in disaster too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"?? got patched
What's patched lol.
If after 60 messages discussing possible meeting then agreeing when both free and then saying I don't want to meet you now , I would say they have been timewasters, only IF they said everything was good time wise ,kids etc for that meet to happen . OR if they arranged a meet and pulled out for NO REASON again timewasters. I would always want to chat on phone before meeting, 1 you know the person is genuine and 2 you get a feel how a meet will go. If you can't talk on a phone for 5 minutes without awkward silences, rest assured your coffee meet will end in disaster too. "
Maybe after 60 messages the op said something to put them off meeting?
Without knowing both sides of the story we can't brand someone a timewaster. |
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"?? got patched
What's patched lol.
If after 60 messages discussing possible meeting then agreeing when both free and then saying I don't want to meet you now , I would say they have been timewasters, only IF they said everything was good time wise ,kids etc for that meet to happen . OR if they arranged a meet and pulled out for NO REASON again timewasters. I would always want to chat on phone before meeting, 1 you know the person is genuine and 2 you get a feel how a meet will go. If you can't talk on a phone for 5 minutes without awkward silences, rest assured your coffee meet will end in disaster too.
Maybe after 60 messages the op said something to put them off meeting?
Without knowing both sides of the story we can't brand someone a timewaster."
Yep , that's why I said about discussing meets in those messages, and you are right, once everything was in place he could have said the wrong thing and she was put right off. That's not a timewaster. Agreed.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"?? got patched
What's patched lol.
If after 60 messages discussing possible meeting then agreeing when both free and then saying I don't want to meet you now , I would say they have been timewasters, only IF they said everything was good time wise ,kids etc for that meet to happen . OR if they arranged a meet and pulled out for NO REASON again timewasters. I would always want to chat on phone before meeting, 1 you know the person is genuine and 2 you get a feel how a meet will go. If you can't talk on a phone for 5 minutes without awkward silences, rest assured your coffee meet will end in disaster too. "
It’s when someone doesn’t reply to a message, when you ask is wed still ok you know they’ve been on site they just don’t respond. |
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By *edzyWoman
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"?? got patched
What's patched lol.
If after 60 messages discussing possible meeting then agreeing when both free and then saying I don't want to meet you now , I would say they have been timewasters, only IF they said everything was good time wise ,kids etc for that meet to happen . OR if they arranged a meet and pulled out for NO REASON again timewasters. I would always want to chat on phone before meeting, 1 you know the person is genuine and 2 you get a feel how a meet will go. If you can't talk on a phone for 5 minutes without awkward silences, rest assured your coffee meet will end in disaster too. "
I don’t speak on the phone to people I’ve never met - it feels weird lol. When I’m at home I’m in family mode, not fab mode  |
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"Looking back at the mess I genuinely do think it is down to her shyness rather than anything I’ve said, I’m a perfect gent. ?? "
Do follow up on whether you get the chance help her out of the shyness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes i wonder what makes a person a "time waster" is it because they chatted for a while then slowly backed away when they realised the person was not someone they'd like to meet? Or is it because they arranged a meet or social then cancelled? I've had people ghost on me on a few occasions. I'm not angry about it. The nature of the site means it happens sometimes. It's a waste of my time yes but if someone is brave in chat then becomes afraid at the reality (especially if it's their first meet) and do a runner i wouldn't give them shit about it. It just means they're not ready for things and need to take some time to think.
Had one person ghost on me twice lol. Still chatted to him and said he should take a break from fab and work out his feelings before arranging any more meets with other people.
If you don't have an ego about things then it's irritating, yes, but not a hanging offence
"
Well said, totally agree |
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