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Who’s got jokes 2
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you call a guy that lines to work out a lot?
Gym.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head...?
Cliff.
My personal favourites since I was a boy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a plook?
A plook will wait till you're at least 12 before it comes on your face  "
Nooooo! Too much you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a plook?
A plook will wait till you're at least 12 before it comes on your face
Nooooo! Too much you!"
I asked for Mrs opinion before I posted it....she said that as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do going down on an old woman and eating a pork pie have in common?
You have to bite through the crust then lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do going down on an old woman and eating a pork pie have in common?
You have to bite through the crust then lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit "
oh Boak  |
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"What do going down on an old woman and eating a pork pie have in common?
You have to bite through the crust then lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit "
Raise you...
What’s the toughest part about having sex with forty seven year olds?
Getting it up again 39 times... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A gay guy is out taking his first golf lesson. The pro shows him how to place his feet, how to hold the club, and how to swing. Then he puts a ball down and tells the gay guy to hit it.
It goes about 30 feet and hooks.
Not a bad first try, but let's give it another shot
Second time it goes about 25 feet and slices.
I think I see your problem says the Pro. You're not comfortable with the club. Don't hold the club like it's something foreign to you. Pretend it's a penis, and hold it like that
This time that ball goes sailing 300 yards straight down the fairway and lands about 5 feet from the hole.
Well, that was very impressive, but why don't you take the club out of your mouth and let's try it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you call an Indian karaoke singer???
Gupty Singh
(Gets coat)
I like the daft ones
Like the one about the Chinese Stripper with asymmetrical breasts....
Wan Hung Lo"
.....sorry....did someone say something?... |
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A young school boy walks into the confession box and hears strange noises coming from behind the curtain.He asks the preist what he is doing.The preist replies mastribating son,you will be doing it soon son.
Why asks the young lad.
Because my arm is getting sore says the preist. |
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Teacher to class: "What does your dad do at weekends?".
Little Boy: "He's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the money's right he lets punters bang his arse and cum in his gob".
Teacher takes him outside, "Is that true?".
Little boy: "No miss, it's bollocks. He plays for Celtic but I'm too embarrassed to say". |
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"Burnley police have warned their fans to watch out for Aberdeen fans with flares.
Coz that's what they wore last time they won anything in Europe!!"
The last time a Fife team won anything man was wearing a fig leaf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace when it becomes troublesome.  |
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"Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace when it becomes troublesome. "
Very funny.x |
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A party of tourists going round an art gallery with a know it all ( knows nowt guide ) guide . They come across a sculpture of three black men naked one has a white penis the guide says “ it’s to show there’s no difference between different races “ . One tourist turns round and says to a guy “ that’s put that old tale to bed “ . The chap replies that the guide is talking bullshit . “ How’s that said the tourist ?” The chap replies “ I’m the artist it’s actually a representation of three miners just out the pit “ .” Why has the one guy got a white penis ? “ then the tourist replies . “ He’s the one that went home for lunch “ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our neighbours dog
Shit in our garden
So my mum told me
To get a shovel and
Throw it over the fence
I don't see what that solved
Now we've got dog shit in
Our garden and the neighbours
Have our shovel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you call a guy that lines to work out a lot?
Gym.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head...?
Cliff.
My personal favourites since I was a boy. "
Just last week then |
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