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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So just wondering what’s everyone’s thoughts on BDSM and swinging? Do they go? Are the compatible?
Our first meet we had a mixture of swing and bdsm and I think with the right couple it can be quite good! But I think it’s hard to find that “right couple”
What do you guys&girls think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think swinging by and large is very vanilla. I've been on and off both scenes for a good few yrs and struggle to find what I want out of either world.
I think a lot of people think bdsm is christian gray and that makes things more frustrating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think swinging by and large is very vanilla. I've been on and off both scenes for a good few yrs and struggle to find what I want out of either world.
I think a lot of people think bdsm is christian gray and that makes things more frustrating."
Swinging can be vanilla at times but meeting the right people you can go to any lengths that you all feel comfortable with and it just feels the natural thing to do together.
Experience counts but by no means decides on what level you take your meet, its the company and how you connect.
I suppose anyone who has met me will prob get what I'm trying to convey lolol, well I fecking hope so
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was very shy and inexperienced until fairly recently but in all truth I’ve noticed that women seem to expect me to be more physical and dominant and while I don’t want to be aggressive and violent, I’m finding it is working in the bedroom and I’m moving more and more towards physical restraint, generally just with pretty secure shoulder and hip holding but the idea of using physical restraints, even soft velcro ones or padded handcuffs is becoming more and more appealing for me.
I don’t like being cruel but I think my vanilla mushy thing wasn’t what I thought it was.
I don’t think I like using any more force than a little light spanking but I need to see how this develops.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So just wondering what’s everyone’s thoughts on BDSM and swinging? Do they go? Are the compatible?
Our first meet we had a mixture of swing and bdsm and I think with the right couple it can be quite good! But I think it’s hard to find that “right couple”
What do you guys&girls think?"
Yeah, they go. But like anything else, its all about finding and connecting with the right people which is doubley difficult when looking for a meet that combines both.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve no interest in BDSM and can’t connect it with sexual pleasure in any way. Though I’ve found a lot of people expect an interest for some reason. "
Cruelty does nothing for me but the women I’ve known recently seem to thrive on the intensity of physicality and I’d imagine that adrenaline rush could be the sexual high for them. I wouldn’t hurt anyone though. |
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"I’ve no interest in BDSM and can’t connect it with sexual pleasure in any way. Though I’ve found a lot of people expect an interest for some reason.
Cruelty does nothing for me but the women I’ve known recently seem to thrive on the intensity of physicality and I’d imagine that adrenaline rush could be the sexual high for them. I wouldn’t hurt anyone though."
You’re describing one tiny aspect of BDSM. Physicality. It’s so much more than that and can be something as simple as speaking words or phrases. Mental stimulation is just as, or even more important.
For us personally, we consider a very wide variety of things under the “bdsm” bracket. It isn’t necessary in our sex with others, but if you’re gonna fuck us, you at least have to be comfortable with some aspects of it, cause you’re gonna see us playing with each other and doing it. |
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"I’ve no interest in BDSM and can’t connect it with sexual pleasure in any way. Though I’ve found a lot of people expect an interest for some reason.
Cruelty does nothing for me but the women I’ve known recently seem to thrive on the intensity of physicality and I’d imagine that adrenaline rush could be the sexual high for them. I wouldn’t hurt anyone though."
You should definitely do some research before adventuring in this.
Sorry but in my opinion you are totally missing the point of BDSM!
Dominants are not cruel, not agressive and not violent. Those adjectives shouldn't even come into the equation.
Speak to a few and you will see they are not.
And submissives definitely do not thrive on being beaten up or hurt for the sake of being hurt!
Again speak to a few subs and you will see they can be pretty determined and strong minded.
To go back to the thread...
Swinging and BDSM can go together but in my opinion only with the right person/persons and if all parties understand the rules to be applied.
Some people have more experience than others or have a different understanding of BDSM so all parties have to agree/discuss rules before so everyone is playing safely
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve no interest in BDSM and can’t connect it with sexual pleasure in any way. Though I’ve found a lot of people expect an interest for some reason.
Cruelty does nothing for me but the women I’ve known recently seem to thrive on the intensity of physicality and I’d imagine that adrenaline rush could be the sexual high for them. I wouldn’t hurt anyone though.
You should definitely do some research before adventuring in this.
Sorry but in my opinion you are totally missing the point of BDSM!
Dominants are not cruel, not agressive and not violent. Those adjectives shouldn't even come into the equation.
Speak to a few and you will see they are not.
And submissives definitely do not thrive on being beaten up or hurt for the sake of being hurt!
Again speak to a few subs and you will see they can be pretty determined and strong minded.
To go back to the thread...
Swinging and BDSM can go together but in my opinion only with the right person/persons and if all parties understand the rules to be applied.
Some people have more experience than others or have a different understanding of BDSM so all parties have to agree/discuss rules before so everyone is playing safely
"
Spot on in my opinion! |
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By *mberbCouple
over a year ago
Lothians |
"So just wondering what’s everyone’s thoughts on BDSM and swinging? Do they go? Are the compatible?
Our first meet we had a mixture of swing and bdsm and I think with the right couple it can be quite good! But I think it’s hard to find that “right couple”
What do you guys&girls think?"
In a word yes it is what it is and can be a huge horny build up to the sex. We have been into the BDSM and fetish scene for a long time now! 50 shades of grey is fantasy what we do is reality! Don't confuse the real thing with a book! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They can definitely go together, I'd just say it'd be harder to meet someone who properly knows BDSM etiquette on here rather than on sites that specialize. Doesn't mean you can't or won't.
50 shades has a lot to answer for.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FB and I have explored bdsm and found that she enjoys the sub and me the Dom. It can be just more than the physical, things like whispered words or threats/promises of things to come work as well as a slap on the bum. always the cuddle and kiss afterwards to show it was all bedroom fun   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd lay odds that those slating 50 shades still read it for titillation  "
I can’t comment for others but I do slate 50 shades quite often the books were dreadful the films are fine if your bored but I wouldn’t have went to the cinema to see them, I wouldn’t converse on the 50 shades topic if i hadn’t have read them first, knowledge is power as they say so why comment on something I don’t know anything about. As for bdsm I’ve been on n off the bdsm scene for almost 22 years and been swinging for 8, they can be great fun together or separate it’s like everyone says it depends upon the dynamics and chemistry between all involved.
Regardless people should just always do what they are comfortable with and have fun as that’s what we’re all here for.
Musicmaid x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd lay odds that those slating 50 shades still read it for titillation
I can’t comment for others but I do slate 50 shades quite often the books were dreadful the films are fine if your bored but I wouldn’t have went to the cinema to see them, I wouldn’t converse on the 50 shades topic if i hadn’t have read them first, knowledge is power as they say so why comment on something I don’t know anything about. As for bdsm I’ve been on n off the bdsm scene for almost 22 years and been swinging for 8, they can be great fun together or separate it’s like everyone says it depends upon the dynamics and chemistry between all involved.
Regardless people should just always do what they are comfortable with and have fun as that’s what we’re all here for.
Musicmaid x "
I’m with yourself on the 50 shades series, read them out of curiosity and don’t think it was potrayed as well as it could have been! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Ive never read or watched 50 shades. I was playing with a Dom when it first came out and he advised me to read ‘the story of O’. An excellent book although somewhat extreme at times.
BDSM can be very sexually arousing using different things such silk, leather, feathers, velvet, etc. Some people can be stimulated by the feel or the smell. Doesn’t have to be painful at all. Restraints, blindfolds, etc can add to the fun too or playing in a blacked out room. There are many different aspects to BDSM and the fun part is exploring safely.
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