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... Popcorn at the ready..
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Okay so, I see alot of profiles, post and chat about men who enjoy watching their significant other with other men or women. This seems to be acceptable and normal, it's a turn on and hot and 'wow playing with another man's wife is amazing' etc..
But why is it different (to some) when the woman is comfortable with their male partner playing solo? I'd love my SO to meet someone he can have fun with, good conversation and naughtiness
Being a swinging site, I thought (perhaps naively) there would be less judgement or stigma attached to a couple wanting to play separately as well as together.
I'm genuinely just looking for insight, please don't go in attack mode 
sidenote: my partner and I have been on and off this site for around 6 years, we have met people, we aren't 'newbies' and both our profiles state that we are attached so there is full disclosure.
N  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male  |
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"Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male "
Thanks for replying we are looking to play together with women, with couples, perhaps with a single male, maybe. Playing on our own is also something we really enjoy too it just seems to have this negative aura. 
We don't hide that we are in a relationship, we wouldn't want to, its deceptive and that isn't nice for anyone. I just don't quite get the stigma for a male. Of course it's already extremely difficult for them to get attention, I know that, I just get the impression that for some women they still view it as cheating, despite it being totally accepted in our relationship, tried and tested and tbh quite awesome!
It makes me feel bad like we're doing something wrong, in spite of the honesty, which isn't the best feeling.
N x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male
Thanks for replying we are looking to play together with women, with couples, perhaps with a single male, maybe. Playing on our own is also something we really enjoy too it just seems to have this negative aura.
We don't hide that we are in a relationship, we wouldn't want to, its deceptive and that isn't nice for anyone. I just don't quite get the stigma for a male. Of course it's already extremely difficult for them to get attention, I know that, I just get the impression that for some women they still view it as cheating, despite it being totally accepted in our relationship, tried and tested and tbh quite awesome!
It makes me feel bad like we're doing something wrong, in spite of the honesty, which isn't the best feeling.
N x"
Ohh don't feel bad, you're doing nothing wrong at all, it's just that single females are the rarest on here. It's a bit harder to achieve but I agree it's amazing when it works. Hang on in there , I'm sure you will be successful!
Vee xXx |
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"Ohh don't feel bad, you're doing nothing wrong at all, it's just that single females are the rarest on here. It's a bit harder to achieve but I agree it's amazing when it works. Hang on in there , I'm sure you will be successful!
Vee xXx "
Thank you 
I didn't want to post, but I figured you fine, wise folk maybe have some insight that my sleepy brain is overlooking lol!
N x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ohh don't feel bad, you're doing nothing wrong at all, it's just that single females are the rarest on here. It's a bit harder to achieve but I agree it's amazing when it works. Hang on in there , I'm sure you will be successful!
Vee xXx
Thank you
I didn't want to post, but I figured you fine, wise folk maybe have some insight that my sleepy brain is overlooking lol!
N x"
Hahaahha not so sure about the wise but I'm sure there will be lots to offer advice - hang on in there it'll happen!!! |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male "
Not always .. temptress and myself have been meeting solo for years ..OK not prolifically but I as the male haven't found a problem ..yes some women may feel uneasy meeting a married man playin with other half's permission but there are also some who are happy to meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male
Not always .. temptress and myself have been meeting solo for years ..OK not prolifically but I as the male haven't found a problem ..yes some women may feel uneasy meeting a married man playin with other half's permission but there are also some who are happy to meet "
Yep Bunks was thinking of you guys |
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If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
The cheaters tend to storm out straight after they're done, never have time for the social bit, and happily leave the 3rd person to sit on their own as they run back to their partner. I hate it when, after we had our fun, by the time I come downstairs my date is standing in the hallway - coat and shoes on, ready to go. And I don't take long getting downstairs, just a minute or 2 to quickly rinse off and put some clothes on.
I don't judge the people who go behind their partner's back, they have their reasons to be on here and it's none of my business what these are. I would never attack someone because they cheat. But they're just not people I want to meet x |
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"Ohh don't feel bad, you're doing nothing wrong at all, it's just that single females are the rarest on here. It's a bit harder to achieve but I agree it's amazing when it works. Hang on in there , I'm sure you will be successful!
Vee xXx
Thank you
I didn't want to post, but I figured you fine, wise folk maybe have some insight that my sleepy brain is overlooking lol!
N x
Hahaahha not so sure about the wise but I'm sure there will be lots to offer advice - hang on in there it'll happen!!! "
Apologies that last message I directed to the wrong person, silly me
Yeah, I'm not necessarily worried about it not happening, we don't want it to happen immediately nor do we expect it to, we aren't looking for a miracle  we have done it before..I just wasn't sure if there was the stigma there is with say, men who are cheating?
I suppose its subjective to each person whether they view it positively or negatively, it just confuses me when there is seemingly interest until our situation is said via message and suddenly we/he/I get blocked, for being honest
I won't lose heart I probably just need to toughen up a little
N x |
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"Whether it's for you partner to play alone or with you then a single fem seeking this is the most difficult thing to find. Perhaps another couple with the same agenda??? I have been here as couple too and felt the same as you, it is more difficult for the male
Not always .. temptress and myself have been meeting solo for years ..OK not prolifically but I as the male haven't found a problem ..yes some women may feel uneasy meeting a married man playin with other half's permission but there are also some who are happy to meet "
Thanks, again, for your reassurance ! I just thought making it explicit would counteract those who don't look at it favourably let's say lol
N x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do see alot of posts about men watching there partners with other men. Don't notice it as much the other way round. Though I would not consider this cheating, it's swinging surely. |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
The cheaters tend to storm out straight after they're done, never have time for the social bit, and happily leave the 3rd person to sit on their own as they run back to their partner. I hate it when, after we had our fun, by the time I come downstairs my date is standing in the hallway - coat and shoes on, ready to go. And I don't take long getting downstairs, just a minute or 2 to quickly rinse off and put some clothes on.
I don't judge the people who go behind their partner's back, they have their reasons to be on here and it's none of my business what these are. I would never attack someone because they cheat. But they're just not people I want to meet x"
Oh no I totally understand that! I would hate to be the reason another woman or couple are hurting, I know exactly where you're coming from.
We are quite clear - or I hope we are - on our profiles regarding our situation, we made single profiles because I felt it clarified it more, but we are still very much playing as a couple as well.
Sorry you've had crappy situations in the past, it's never pleasant  and thanks for your insight
N x |
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"I do see alot of posts about men watching there partners with other men. Don't notice it as much the other way round. Though I would not consider this cheating, it's swinging surely. "
Well that's precisely my mindset! I get the distinct impression that some, not all, may not have that view on it. I just assumed being a swinging site it would be pretty standard.
Although having been on here a whole now (previous profiles also) not much is 'standard' lol!
N x |
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I think the biggest problem your encountering is. So many have been caught out decieving folk ie there is no female part to the "couple" or that the "couple" are not a real couple just two randoms tag teaming to enhance their chances.
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
The cheaters tend to storm out straight after they're done, never have time for the social bit, and happily leave the 3rd person to sit on their own as they run back to their partner. I hate it when, after we had our fun, by the time I come downstairs my date is standing in the hallway - coat and shoes on, ready to go. And I don't take long getting downstairs, just a minute or 2 to quickly rinse off and put some clothes on.
I don't judge the people who go behind their partner's back, they have their reasons to be on here and it's none of my business what these are. I would never attack someone because they cheat. But they're just not people I want to meet x"
So basically, I don't see why people would have a problem meeting you. Since you're honest and genuine. Sorry, got slightly side tracked there |
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"I think the biggest problem your encountering is. So many have been caught out decieving folk ie there is no female part to the "couple" or that the "couple" are not a real couple just two randoms tag teaming to enhance their chances.
"
Yep that was one of my fears of having single profiles (the endless pro/con situations) haha! I also understand that too but as there is full disclosure, anyone is free to message me or vice versa because we are open about what we are doing, both with who we speak to and each other, because we really think its super important! I know how difficult it is for a woman to feel comfortable enough to involve themselves with an already established couple, having talked through it with many of our companions
Perhaps it's just a lack of reading our profiles, I may need to make it clearer 
N x |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
The cheaters tend to storm out straight after they're done, never have time for the social bit, and happily leave the 3rd person to sit on their own as they run back to their partner. I hate it when, after we had our fun, by the time I come downstairs my date is standing in the hallway - coat and shoes on, ready to go. And I don't take long getting downstairs, just a minute or 2 to quickly rinse off and put some clothes on.
I don't judge the people who go behind their partner's back, they have their reasons to be on here and it's none of my business what these are. I would never attack someone because they cheat. But they're just not people I want to meet x
So basically, I don't see why people would have a problem meeting you. Since you're honest and genuine. Sorry, got slightly side tracked there "
Haha that's okay thanks for your advice x |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
"
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates "
See, I love that! It's the best feeling because everyone feels involved, it's accepted, it's not sneaky or hidden. We have one of our lady friends stay over a lot when she sees us, I know that's all three of us, but it's still a lovely feeling. It wouldn't be different if it were just him, because I appreciate that aspect of our relationship and think it's important. We've been together long enough to fully trust and respect one another and I think that's important too.
I'm glad it works for you Bunkie it does sound pretty perfect lol!
N x |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates
See, I love that! It's the best feeling because everyone feels involved, it's accepted, it's not sneaky or hidden. We have one of our lady friends stay over a lot when she sees us, I know that's all three of us, but it's still a lovely feeling. It wouldn't be different if it were just him, because I appreciate that aspect of our relationship and think it's important. We've been together long enough to fully trust and respect one another and I think that's important too.
I'm glad it works for you Bunkie it does sound pretty perfect lol!
N x"
Probably not for everyone but it works for us good luck in finding exactly what your looking for x |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates
See, I love that! It's the best feeling because everyone feels involved, it's accepted, it's not sneaky or hidden. We have one of our lady friends stay over a lot when she sees us, I know that's all three of us, but it's still a lovely feeling. It wouldn't be different if it were just him, because I appreciate that aspect of our relationship and think it's important. We've been together long enough to fully trust and respect one another and I think that's important too.
I'm glad it works for you Bunkie it does sound pretty perfect lol!
N x
Probably not for everyone but it works for us good luck in finding exactly what your looking for x"
Thankyou x |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates "
That really is the ideal situation. It's great to see people trust each other the way you do x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gotta agree with the OP
Both myself and husband have single profiles on here when we meet alone.
Both state on our profiles we are married with the others permission and our cpls profile but it's really hard for the male half. |
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"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates
That really is the ideal situation. It's great to see people trust each other the way you do x"
Of course there's the times or people that don't have that mutual trust or truth, but we do and we've worked hard at ensuring we are both comfortable with it, it isn't something we've jumped into spur of the moment. As many people say on here it's a lifestyle choice and for us, it suits! I can't deny how hot I find it so why would I want to!? Its awesome (when it works!!)
N x |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"If the other half knows about it, there's no (or very little) risk of anyone getting hurt. I don't ever want to be the reason for someone's world to fall to bits when they find out they've been cheated on.
I did meet a married guy a few times who could stay for sleepovers, because his other half knew where he was and who I am.
I guess there's nothing worse for a lady when all the guy does is clock watch ...1 of the huge bonuses for us is we know where each other is and with who.. and we have both done the sleep over with playmates
That really is the ideal situation. It's great to see people trust each other the way you do x
Of course there's the times or people that don't have that mutual trust or truth, but we do and we've worked hard at ensuring we are both comfortable with it, it isn't something we've jumped into spur of the moment. As many people say on here it's a lifestyle choice and for us, it suits! I can't deny how hot I find it so why would I want to!? Its awesome (when it works!!)
N x"
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"Gotta agree with the OP
Both myself and husband have single profiles on here when we meet alone.
Both state on our profiles we are married with the others permission and our cpls profile but it's really hard for the male half."
Yeah, men don't seem to mind as much approaching the woman in a relationship! My logic is that, if everyone is upfront and honest, there technically shouldn't be any issues that arise! I assume everyone is here for fun and socialising I was just shocked at the response of someone who clearly hadn't read my SO's profile and was quite abrupt and quick to the block button when he told her, despite being quite nice and chatty up until then. I always take the time to read everyone's profile, half the time I don't even look at pictures , but again, perhaps that's a subjective thing and not everyone works that way, I don't like to judge (and joop this doesn't come across judge-y )
N x |
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"Gotta agree with the OP
Both myself and husband have single profiles on here when we meet alone.
Both state on our profiles we are married with the others permission and our cpls profile but it's really hard for the male half.
Yeah, men don't seem to mind as much approaching the woman in a relationship! My logic is that, if everyone is upfront and honest, there technically shouldn't be any issues that arise! I assume everyone is here for fun and socialising I was just shocked at the response of someone who clearly hadn't read my SO's profile and was quite abrupt and quick to the block button when he told her, despite being quite nice and chatty up until then. I always take the time to read everyone's profile, half the time I don't even look at pictures , but again, perhaps that's a subjective thing and not everyone works that way, I don't like to judge (and joop this doesn't come across judge-y )
N x"
I think in general woman are far more open than men.
ive had partners in the past who ive been more than happy for them to meet others..........just not 95% as I think they are dicks I think woman can reason things out better. men tend to dig there heels in and not allow it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gotta agree with the OP
Both myself and husband have single profiles on here when we meet alone.
Both state on our profiles we are married with the others permission and our cpls profile but it's really hard for the male half.
Yeah, men don't seem to mind as much approaching the woman in a relationship! My logic is that, if everyone is upfront and honest, there technically shouldn't be any issues that arise! I assume everyone is here for fun and socialising I was just shocked at the response of someone who clearly hadn't read my SO's profile and was quite abrupt and quick to the block button when he told her, despite being quite nice and chatty up until then. I always take the time to read everyone's profile, half the time I don't even look at pictures , but again, perhaps that's a subjective thing and not everyone works that way, I don't like to judge (and joop this doesn't come across judge-y )
N xI think in general woman are far more open than men.
ive had partners in the past who ive been more than happy for them to meet others..........just not 95% as I think they are dicks I think woman can reason things out better. men tend to dig there heels in and not allow it.
"
Have to agree with that Kola as a broad rule of course not everyone lol |
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