FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Any advice before we quit?
Any advice before we quit?
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"Ok, so me and my partner have been on here 5 weeks now (Not that long, I know) and we are just finding the site a headache? Folk who seem to want the same as you, message for a few days then BAM, blocked for no reason or just don’t ever message back without explanation! We are very polite and don’t jump straight in with nitty gritty but we ain’t boring and take time to write replies that are longer than a sentence.. I don’t get where we are going wrong! In just 5 weeks, we’ve had people asking for pictures that don’t send back, people who have seemed into us that have just stopped messaging completely, but are online every evening.. People who moan that people take the piss, then do exactly the same thing and take the P themselves!!! People who pretend they’re either female or single (why?!) get chatting to a girl and she’s suddenly in a couple and won’t play alone - yet her profile says the exact opposite.. I honestly don’t know how anyone has managed a meet off here. You must have spent about 20 months long chatting to achieve that. That is not what we’re after. We don’t want a relationship with these people! We just want to explore things with others, discreetly and without jumping through hoops to make it happen! Is this the place for us? Convince us to stay! Lol. Would love to meet someone on here who isn’t a tease, but it doesn’t seem to be happening!! What are we doing wrong!? Surely we can’t be the only ones?! " Go to clubs, socialise & meet people - works for us. We've never done a meet from here, tried couple socials & they weren't anything like profile. We connect after met on here - Fi x | |||
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"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol "Plus, you’re not tall enough to see over the ton of messages.  | |||
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" They do say all good things come in small packages though. " That’s what I tell all the girls | |||
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It’s just so bloody confusing! “Don’t message with a simple hello” “don’t start off messaging asking to meet right away or blocked” “Don’t do small talk” “can’t accom, can’t travel” “Don’t do last minute meets” “meets have to be last min”
WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT THENNN?! Getting a headache! Lol | |||
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"Do you guys think there’s a possibility that some of the single women on here, are only on here for the fact that they gain rakes of attention from the males? I know most don’t like that, but if there’s a gal that’s in a boring relationship, she may feel flattered by all the messages? Without actually being unfaithful? Or acting on a damn thing?! This is what makes it like finding a needle in a hay stack! " Possibly, people are on here for many different reasons. Some meet, others just what chat. Perseverance is key really - know what you want, get out and meet people, and remember that not all single ladies are in fact ladies. Or single. You learn to spot the fakes soon enough V | |||
"Thanks for the replies guys! I can get how meets would be more successful at social events because it’s not as anonymous and people can’t bullshit u in person haha. I’ve emailed for an invite to CJ’s couples night on 17th Feb, so I’ll keep an eye on my emails
It’s just so bloody confusing! “Don’t message with a simple hello” “don’t start off messaging asking to meet right away or blocked” “Don’t do small talk” “can’t accom, can’t travel” “Don’t do last minute meets” “meets have to be last min”
WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT THENNN?! Getting a headache! Lol"I know the feeling! Just don't get your hopes. We don't anymore. Meeting people from this site is very rare for us. Clubs are your best bet. If you are willing to travel you should definitely try the club's down south xx | |||
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"Yeah, I’m sure we will! Think I’m starting to learn lol. It’s fairly obvious to me there’s something to hide when they’re unwilling to exchange face pics.. AFTER we’ve sent some.. almost feel robbed lol! " You will learn along the way. Think there are more fakes on here than genuine people that want to meet unfortunately. Cupids in Manchester is amazing we love it. Always have some fun there xx | |||
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"Yeah, I’m sure we will! Think I’m starting to learn lol. It’s fairly obvious to me there’s something to hide when they’re unwilling to exchange face pics.. AFTER we’ve sent some.. almost feel robbed lol! " We had a couple send genitalia pics instead of face pics, not much different to profile pics = blocked | |||
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"Hi, dunno if this is your first profile but this is my take on things. Online but not replying- Maybe the person is having a wee nosey during a break at work, or while walking the dogs and will reply when they have more time to send a proper reply. Or maybe they need time to reply with something pertinent. Discretion- You use that word a lot in your profile, that would put me off. Ok, no need to send face pic in first message, but surely you have to exchange face pics before even considering you are going to meet. At least, I do! I think you also have to look at things from a single female perspective too. Mister would love to spectate!- Sorry but sounds like you are looking to put on a show on for Mister. And that puts me right off! And being a couple, a single female will have to feel comfortable and safe and fancy both of you if Mister decides to play. Easier said than done! Also if it is a female you are looking after, as you say you are bi-curious, something about what you are looking for on your profile would be interesting. Anyway like I said it is my take on things. Hope it makes sense and helps. Good luck OP "Thanks for the pointers! Yes it is our first profile so I’ll take this on board. re discretion - Why would that put people off?? Mostly everyone on their profile state that discretion is extremely important to them! It’s more so written there to make others feel comfortable speaking with us. Personally, I don’t really give a F about it all that much! We’re grown adults! My family know I’m bi. I have got a 15 year old son though.... So obviously wouldn’t be screaming from rooftops about our sex life, But feel that there are a lot of professional people on here that really want nothing but discretion from the get go.. I’ll edit that though incase it’s putting people off. The spectator thing - We are new to this, as I’ve mentioned, so we’re not exactly sure what will happen. Initially he wants to watch, but the thought of seeing him fuck another woman in front of me turns me right on! He would join in if he was comfortable, and of course there needs to be some sort of attraction there.. for us too... although we’re quite frankly fucking gorgeous tbh  hahahaha | |||
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"Ok, so me and my partner have been on here 5 weeks now (Not that long, I know) and we are just finding the site a headache? Folk who seem to want the same as you, message for a few days then BAM, blocked for no reason or just don’t ever message back without explanation! We are very polite and don’t jump straight in with nitty gritty but we ain’t boring and take time to write replies that are longer than a sentence.. I don’t get where we are going wrong! In just 5 weeks, we’ve had people asking for pictures that don’t send back, people who have seemed into us that have just stopped messaging completely, but are online every evening.. People who moan that people take the piss, then do exactly the same thing and take the P themselves!!! People who pretend they’re either female or single (why?!) get chatting to a girl and she’s suddenly in a couple and won’t play alone - yet her profile says the exact opposite.. I honestly don’t know how anyone has managed a meet off here. You must have spent about 20 months long chatting to achieve that. That is not what we’re after. We don’t want a relationship with these people! We just want to explore things with others, discreetly and without jumping through hoops to make it happen! Is this the place for us? Convince us to stay! Lol. Would love to meet someone on here who isn’t a tease, but it doesn’t seem to be happening!! What are we doing wrong!? Surely we can’t be the only ones?! " Some people say go to clubs and yes that's a good idea for them and others but not me, never have nor will and I have a great time on here. Clubs might be for you or might not be. You will find people who are honest, treat with respect and no rush. They are out there, they not only have sexy fun, but socialise, have house parties, meet and its more relaxed and just get on. the big socials are good and if you feel you might be recognised you can go to a social outwith your area and stay offer, say Dundee, Aberdeen Edinburgh etc.. For me, an experienced fabber, I usually know the signs, so if there is any doubt in my mind, I aint taken anything further. if people ask you to meet straight away when your profile says you don't do that then bin, if they ask you for pics straight away if your profile says no pics until feel relaxed enough then bin. I have met some wonderful, fantastic people, some whom I have played with some whom I have just chatted with and they all will remain my friends with no pressure. But as you two just looking for some discreet, relaxed fun they are out there for what your looking for, you just have to whittle them down. I will say just stick to it a while and you will benefit from it, chatting to people on the forums, in the scots chat room, meeting at house parties or wee socials. The whole point of fab is a swinging site, not a sex site, we all have to get on and connect, have good laugh, banter to truly enjoy this place. It is well worth the venture for how long you stay. We have all had good and bad experienced, via messages chatting, even meet. You learn from it and grow I do hope you stay and have a fantastic time regards peter | |||
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"I like the look of the new profile better, more fluid and a single female knows Mister's place lol Good luck " Haha thank you! | |||
"Ok, so me and my partner have been on here 5 weeks now (Not that long, I know) and we are just finding the site a headache? Folk who seem to want the same as you, message for a few days then BAM, blocked for no reason or just don’t ever message back without explanation! We are very polite and don’t jump straight in with nitty gritty but we ain’t boring and take time to write replies that are longer than a sentence.. I don’t get where we are going wrong! In just 5 weeks, we’ve had people asking for pictures that don’t send back, people who have seemed into us that have just stopped messaging completely, but are online every evening.. People who moan that people take the piss, then do exactly the same thing and take the P themselves!!! People who pretend they’re either female or single (why?!) get chatting to a girl and she’s suddenly in a couple and won’t play alone - yet her profile says the exact opposite.. I honestly don’t know how anyone has managed a meet off here. You must have spent about 20 months long chatting to achieve that. That is not what we’re after. We don’t want a relationship with these people! We just want to explore things with others, discreetly and without jumping through hoops to make it happen! Is this the place for us? Convince us to stay! Lol. Would love to meet someone on here who isn’t a tease, but it doesn’t seem to be happening!! What are we doing wrong!? Surely we can’t be the only ones?! Some people say go to clubs and yes that's a good idea for them and others but not me, never have nor will and I have a great time on here. Clubs might be for you or might not be. You will find people who are honest, treat with respect and no rush. They are out there, they not only have sexy fun, but socialise, have house parties, meet and its more relaxed and just get on. the big socials are good and if you feel you might be recognised you can go to a social outwith your area and stay offer, say Dundee, Aberdeen Edinburgh etc.. For me, an experienced fabber, I usually know the signs, so if there is any doubt in my mind, I aint taken anything further. if people ask you to meet straight away when your profile says you don't do that then bin, if they ask you for pics straight away if your profile says no pics until feel relaxed enough then bin. I have met some wonderful, fantastic people, some whom I have played with some whom I have just chatted with and they all will remain my friends with no pressure. But as you two just looking for some discreet, relaxed fun they are out there for what your looking for, you just have to whittle them down. I will say just stick to it a while and you will benefit from it, chatting to people on the forums, in the scots chat room, meeting at house parties or wee socials. The whole point of fab is a swinging site, not a sex site, we all have to get on and connect, have good laugh, banter to truly enjoy this place. It is well worth the venture for how long you stay. We have all had good and bad experienced, via messages chatting, even meet. You learn from it and grow I do hope you stay and have a fantastic time regards peter "Thank you for the words of knowledge, Peter we may come onto the chat room and see if we can get a word in at some point haha.
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"Do your own search for suitors "Huh? Lol | |||
"Ok, so me and my partner have been on here 5 weeks now (Not that long, I know) and we are just finding the site a headache? Folk who seem to want the same as you, message for a few days then BAM, blocked for no reason or just don’t ever message back without explanation! We are very polite and don’t jump straight in with nitty gritty but we ain’t boring and take time to write replies that are longer than a sentence.. I don’t get where we are going wrong! In just 5 weeks, we’ve had people asking for pictures that don’t send back, people who have seemed into us that have just stopped messaging completely, but are online every evening.. People who moan that people take the piss, then do exactly the same thing and take the P themselves!!! People who pretend they’re either female or single (why?!) get chatting to a girl and she’s suddenly in a couple and won’t play alone - yet her profile says the exact opposite.. I honestly don’t know how anyone has managed a meet off here. You must have spent about 20 months long chatting to achieve that. That is not what we’re after. We don’t want a relationship with these people! We just want to explore things with others, discreetly and without jumping through hoops to make it happen! Is this the place for us? Convince us to stay! Lol. Would love to meet someone on here who isn’t a tease, but it doesn’t seem to be happening!! What are we doing wrong!? Surely we can’t be the only ones?! Some people say go to clubs and yes that's a good idea for them and others but not me, never have nor will and I have a great time on here. Clubs might be for you or might not be. You will find people who are honest, treat with respect and no rush. They are out there, they not only have sexy fun, but socialise, have house parties, meet and its more relaxed and just get on. the big socials are good and if you feel you might be recognised you can go to a social outwith your area and stay offer, say Dundee, Aberdeen Edinburgh etc.. For me, an experienced fabber, I usually know the signs, so if there is any doubt in my mind, I aint taken anything further. if people ask you to meet straight away when your profile says you don't do that then bin, if they ask you for pics straight away if your profile says no pics until feel relaxed enough then bin. I have met some wonderful, fantastic people, some whom I have played with some whom I have just chatted with and they all will remain my friends with no pressure. But as you two just looking for some discreet, relaxed fun they are out there for what your looking for, you just have to whittle them down. I will say just stick to it a while and you will benefit from it, chatting to people on the forums, in the scots chat room, meeting at house parties or wee socials. The whole point of fab is a swinging site, not a sex site, we all have to get on and connect, have good laugh, banter to truly enjoy this place. It is well worth the venture for how long you stay. We have all had good and bad experienced, via messages chatting, even meet. You learn from it and grow I do hope you stay and have a fantastic time regards peter
Thank you for the words of knowledge, Peter we may come onto the chat room and see if we can get a word in at some point haha.
"the chat room is more of just chat, you do get the normal assholes but in general its chat about all things, but it gets you to know a few people and pointer in the right direction. have faith you will find the right couple or girl for you both | |||
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"Do your own search for suitors
Huh? Lol"block everyone from messaging you and do your own search . Only mail those you are interested in | |||
"The idea of going to a club is fine but Inverness is a three and a half hour drive to Glasgow or Edinburgh which are closest. There are loads of fake profiles in this area but plenty nice folk too. The fact that you’re only looking for women or FF couples between 22-40 also makes it more difficult but if you have a bit more patience it’ll work out eventually. " We are willing to travel | |||
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but fab is great to chat to people who might come along to a club or a social x | |||
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"Iv been on this for years and when I was actively meeting I found couples more difficult to meet outside clubs as there was too much drama.. sometimes the Mrs didn’t really want to meet and it was the husband who pushed for it to happen or they need to meet in a hotel ( I can’t be arsed with that) or they need to meet day time ( on my lunch break) or the husband just wants to watch the 2 fems. I always find it better a club as you get what your looking for and it’s a safe place to meet. I prefer group activity in a club and that satisfies me. So there is no need to arrange anything from fab but fab is great to chat to people who might come along to a club or a social x "Totally agree, same for us xx | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol "Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol
Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages "I get that women are inundated with messages and it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. But why when guys are advised to be polite, respectful, thoughtful and original in their writing so that there's a better chance of a reply does their message get tossed in the bin like the others, who've written one liners, without so much as a glance? | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol
Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages
I get that women are inundated with messages and it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. But why when guys are advised to be polite, respectful, thoughtful and original in their writing so that there's a better chance of a reply does their message get tossed in the bin like the others, who've written one liners, without so much as a glance?"
It recipients choice of they want to read or just delete | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol
Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages
I get that women are inundated with messages and it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. But why when guys are advised to be polite, respectful, thoughtful and original in their writing so that there's a better chance of a reply does their message get tossed in the bin like the others, who've written one liners, without so much as a glance?
It recipients choice of they want to read or just delete "Hardly an answer. That's like saying'just because' | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol
Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages
I get that women are inundated with messages and it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. But why when guys are advised to be polite, respectful, thoughtful and original in their writing so that there's a better chance of a reply does their message get tossed in the bin like the others, who've written one liners, without so much as a glance?
It recipients choice of they want to read or just delete
Hardly an answer. That's like saying'just because'"There is your answer ...just because they can | |||
"I can’t comment on the rest but with regards to the “being online but not replying” comment, I’m guilty of that. It’s not intentional, but as a single female, I receive a shit tone of message. Purely because I am a female, nothing else to it. It’s easy enough for a conversation to be pushed down by other messages and then it gets lost and you sort of forget about it until about a week later. At least that’s me anyway lol
Ditto I’ve just deleted 100+ unread messages
I get that women are inundated with messages and it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. But why when guys are advised to be polite, respectful, thoughtful and original in their writing so that there's a better chance of a reply does their message get tossed in the bin like the others, who've written one liners, without so much as a glance?"Sometimes the lengthy ones just sound like a copy and paste and there may be something that puts you off | |||
