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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
A female friend of mine who I’ve fancied for some time has d*unkenly professed an interest in me. She’s got a boyfriend and I’ve basically told her we shall just see what happens. The guy is a decent fella and I wouldn’t do anything behind his back - but at the same time don’t want her to leave him and run away with me. If she had been single then yeah maybe.
Anyway we are flirting like hell and I think inevitably they may break up and then who knows!
Dilemma time - I really don’t think she would be open to this lifestyle and this is something I’ve enjoyed a lot. I basically said I wasn’t really looking for a relationship to my friends on here and I stand by that... but I really like this girl (we have the same sense of humour and just... click).
But... I don’t know whether to tell her about this. It might scare her away. I couldn’t, in good conscience, continue doing this if I start seeing her and don’t tell her. So do I tell her and risk losing her or potentially looking at just closing this part of my life if the stars align and we become a couple?
Other people must have faced this before? |
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I'd go for it, if you feel strongly about each other. And if she's not into swinging (which I would bring up fairly soonish), hide/delete your profile and you'll find out soon enough if you want the relationship or the fab fun. Fab will most likely still be here, if it doesn't work out between you x |
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"If i met a new guy and he dropped the S word
Id run a country mile
Just saying 
I wouldn't. I'd be totally up for it 
Which is why I love you x
"
Ah sounds like you’re here to stay Danny, can’t love the Fab girls and have a relationship  |
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"If i met a new guy and he dropped the S word
Id run a country mile
Just saying
I wouldn't. I'd be totally up for it
Which is why I love you x
Ah sounds like you’re here to stay Danny, can’t love the Fab girls and have a relationship "
I recon he just wants do a round of honour before settling down  |
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"If i met a new guy and he dropped the S word
Id run a country mile
Just saying
I wouldn't. I'd be totally up for it
Which is why I love you x
Ah sounds like you’re here to stay Danny, can’t love the Fab girls and have a relationship
I recon he just wants do a round of honour before settling down "
Pringles we all want to do a round of honour with you, just saying |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"If i met a new guy and he dropped the S word
Id run a country mile
Just saying
I wouldn't. I'd be totally up for it
Which is why I love you x
Ah sounds like you’re here to stay Danny, can’t love the Fab girls and have a relationship
I recon he just wants do a round of honour before settling down "
Well... |
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By *eADevilCouple
over a year ago
Blantyre |
Bit confused where your dilemma is. You say you dont want a relationship at the moment so im guessing that means her and anyone else. So only dillema is should you tell your friend that your looking for her to be a fb for you or a fb partner for Fab . Appologies if i have this completely wrong . |
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"Bit confused where your dilemma is. You say you dont want a relationship at the moment so im guessing that means her and anyone else. So only dillema is should you tell your friend that your looking for her to be a fb for you or a fb partner for Fab . Appologies if i have this completely wrong ."
But she could be "the one". Would you rather stay swinging, which is on occasion a serious headfuck and be single (just pretend you're single please), or try for potentially the person you'll grow old together with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit confused where your dilemma is. You say you dont want a relationship at the moment so im guessing that means her and anyone else. So only dillema is should you tell your friend that your looking for her to be a fb for you or a fb partner for Fab . Appologies if i have this completely wrong .
But she could be "the one". Would you rather stay swinging, which is on occasion a serious headfuck and be single (just pretend you're single please), or try for potentially the person you'll grow old together with? "
You beat us to it |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Bit confused where your dilemma is. You say you dont want a relationship at the moment so im guessing that means her and anyone else. So only dillema is should you tell your friend that your looking for her to be a fb for you or a fb partner for Fab . Appologies if i have this completely wrong ."
I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship... but I appear to have potentially found one.
And to reiterate - I always told people I’ve met on here in discussion I wasn’t here for a relationship! But it didn’t mean that I wouldn’t necessarily end up in one.
There are definitely a couple of people on here that I like as more than someone to have regular sex with. Bonds are made whether we look for them or not.
My dilemma is basically whether to tell her about this or to leave it behind me. I’m pretty sure even if she didn’t run for the hills she would ask me to stop |
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"Bit confused where your dilemma is. You say you dont want a relationship at the moment so im guessing that means her and anyone else. So only dillema is should you tell your friend that your looking for her to be a fb for you or a fb partner for Fab . Appologies if i have this completely wrong .
But she could be "the one". Would you rather stay swinging, which is on occasion a serious headfuck and be single (just pretend you're single please), or try for potentially the person you'll grow old together with?
You beat us to it "
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"What's more important to you op, been on fab and carrying on or the chance of something that could be great in time?"
I’ve definitely worded this wrong it appears. There’s no question about what I want to do (if it even happens - remember she is in a relationship and I don’t want to jeopardise that. We’ve behaved!) my main concern is do I tell her about my lifestyle choice and face her freaking out or keep it from her? |
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"A female friend of mine who I’ve fancied for some time has d*unkenly professed an interest in me. She’s got a boyfriend and I’ve basically told her we shall just see what happens. The guy is a decent fella and I wouldn’t do anything behind his back - but at the same time don’t want her to leave him and run away with me. If she had been single then yeah maybe.
Anyway we are flirting like hell and I think inevitably they may break up and then who knows!
Dilemma time - I really don’t think she would be open to this lifestyle and this is something I’ve enjoyed a lot. I basically said I wasn’t really looking for a relationship to my friends on here and I stand by that... but I really like this girl (we have the same sense of humour and just... click).
But... I don’t know whether to tell her about this. It might scare her away. I couldn’t, in good conscience, continue doing this if I start seeing her and don’t tell her. So do I tell her and risk losing her or potentially looking at just closing this part of my life if the stars align and we become a couple?
Other people must have faced this before?"
Not the swinging part but I lost a very close friend....long story short-we dated after knowing each other for 7 odd years.
She broke it off after a few months of dating...the usual "its not you but me and i have issues from my past to deal with"
To this day I miss her as we would talk every week (before dating and every day during our relationship)
Sooooooo ...my 2 cents-let sleeping dogs be... |
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"What's more important to you op, been on fab and carrying on or the chance of something that could be great in time?
I’ve definitely worded this wrong it appears. There’s no question about what I want to do (if it even happens - remember she is in a relationship and I don’t want to jeopardise that. We’ve behaved!) my main concern is do I tell her about my lifestyle choice and face her freaking out or keep it from her?"
Wait!!! I got it wrong as well then... Since you're not planning on getting in between her and her current partner then don't mention it. Or maybe when the 3 of you have a drinking session together you could carefully bring it up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's more important to you op, been on fab and carrying on or the chance of something that could be great in time?
I’ve definitely worded this wrong it appears. There’s no question about what I want to do (if it even happens - remember she is in a relationship and I don’t want to jeopardise that. We’ve behaved!) my main concern is do I tell her about my lifestyle choice and face her freaking out or keep it from her?"
Youve got to tell her, if its going to go anyway you need that honesty from the start, if she flips out and isn't keen least you were honest, on the flipside she might not think its ideal but sees you as ideal so might look past it, maybe give the girl the chance to be honest about your honesty if that makes sense |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"What's more important to you op, been on fab and carrying on or the chance of something that could be great in time?
I’ve definitely worded this wrong it appears. There’s no question about what I want to do (if it even happens - remember she is in a relationship and I don’t want to jeopardise that. We’ve behaved!) my main concern is do I tell her about my lifestyle choice and face her freaking out or keep it from her?
Wait!!! I got it wrong as well then... Since you're not planning on getting in between her and her current partner then don't mention it. Or maybe when the 3 of you have a drinking session together you could carefully bring it up. "
I’m not consciously going to get in between them... but I am getting in between them because we’re pretty much talking constantly and getting closer. But if I tell her about the swinging then either she will realise she has a good thing with this guy rather than me... or she might be cool with it.
I don’t think she would be interested in this lifestyle so definitely don’t want to try and get her into it.
The temptation is to not tell her and just put it behind me.
The problem is I love being here and love all the amazing people I’ve met. I’m worried you will all always be in the back of my mind!
The real concern is that maybe it’ll never happen and I’ll still be here this time next year and people are asking “you still here?” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think until you decide wether yes or no to trying things with her then you remain on fab. If and when you do actually get involved with her then switch your profile off and see if you like her enough to not miss the swinging lifestyle.
I would likely leave fab for the right person....if I ever found tha! but sooner or later I’d open up to being bisexual and possibility of swinging together. I just wouldn’t bring that up straight away!  |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"I think until you decide wether yes or no to trying things with her then you remain on fab. If and when you do actually get involved with her then switch your profile off and see if you like her enough to not miss the swinging lifestyle.
I would likely leave fab for the right person....if I ever found tha! but sooner or later I’d open up to being bisexual and possibility of swinging together. I just wouldn’t bring that up straight away! "
It does make sense. I just don’t think she’d ever be open to it. I’ll wait until we are d*unk one day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think until you decide wether yes or no to trying things with her then you remain on fab. If and when you do actually get involved with her then switch your profile off and see if you like her enough to not miss the swinging lifestyle.
I would likely leave fab for the right person....if I ever found tha! but sooner or later I’d open up to being bisexual and possibility of swinging together. I just wouldn’t bring that up straight away!
It does make sense. I just don’t think she’d ever be open to it. I’ll wait until we are d*unk one day "
Most wouldn’t know I was into it....you don’t really know someone until you’re intimate with them. Good luck with it all!  |
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Am confused so I will try to make sense, and also don't have all the angles.
How important is her friendship to you?
Is the appeal not just.., she's 'flirting like hell' with me when she is in a relationship... which in turn teases your swinger side?!
Did she mention her d*unken confession again?
(Get comfy on the sofa lol )
We are all on here for various reasons.
Personally, i like exploring my sexuality/fantasies with both men and women and I am up front about it and being bisexual. Gives a chance to the other person to say 'I am out' before it gets too far and they feel like they don't know you.
They run away, then, they are not for me.
I don't want to change my spots for anyone! I have spent a long time finding myself
Hope this makes sense.
Good luck OP |
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By *issT45Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Tell her and she might just add u in to her current relationship then u can have the best of both worlds
If not I'd say be honest about yourself from the start, No good relationship can ever develop if someone can't be themselves and if ur kinky ur always going to be kinky, that won't change |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Am confused so I will try to make sense, and also don't have all the angles.
How important is her friendship to you?
Is the appeal not just.., she's 'flirting like hell' with me when she is in a relationship... which in turn teases your swinger side?!
Did she mention her d*unken confession again?
(Get comfy on the sofa lol )
We are all on here for various reasons.
Personally, i like exploring my sexuality/fantasies with both men and women and I am up front about it and being bisexual. Gives a chance to the other person to say 'I am out' before it gets too far and they feel like they don't know you.
They run away, then, they are not for me.
I don't want to change my spots for anyone! I have spent a long time finding myself
Hope this makes sense.
Good luck OP "
We have discussed her d*unken confession sober
I guess I’m seeing it as lose / lose. I’m losing her or losing swinging.
I don’t know! Maybe shouldn’t have started post. Confused as hell
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Tell her and she might just add u in to her current relationship then u can have the best of both worlds
If not I'd say be honest about yourself from the start, No good relationship can ever develop if someone can't be themselves and if ur kinky ur always going to be kinky, that won't change "
True! |
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"Am confused so I will try to make sense, and also don't have all the angles.
How important is her friendship to you?
Is the appeal not just.., she's 'flirting like hell' with me when she is in a relationship... which in turn teases your swinger side?!
Did she mention her d*unken confession again?
(Get comfy on the sofa lol )
We are all on here for various reasons.
Personally, i like exploring my sexuality/fantasies with both men and women and I am up front about it and being bisexual. Gives a chance to the other person to say 'I am out' before it gets too far and they feel like they don't know you.
They run away, then, they are not for me.
I don't want to change my spots for anyone! I have spent a long time finding myself
Hope this makes sense.
Good luck OP
We have discussed her d*unken confession sober
I guess I’m seeing it as lose / lose. I’m losing her or losing swinging.
I don’t know! Maybe shouldn’t have started post. Confused as hell
"
!Que sera sera!
Sometimes letting the dust settle is a good thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd go for it, if you feel strongly about each other. And if she's not into swinging (which I would bring up fairly soonish), hide/delete your profile and you'll find out soon enough if you want the relationship or the fab fun. Fab will most likely still be here, if it doesn't work out between you x"
Totally agree with u on this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for it, if it works and is great you might never think of swinging again! If it comes up in conversation so be it!
Boxing wouldn’t be same without you though!! |
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Maybe it's just me, but she needs to sort out her current relationship first don't you think?
You're already running ahead with whether or not you keep swinging within a relationship with her, but you're not in a relationship with her yet.
Let her sort her shit out first, then take it from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't ever announce I was on fab to anyone I met out with fab. Unless that person announced an interest in swinging. Definitely go for a relationship of course and perhaps you wouldn't even want to be on fab anymore anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rather surprised that everyone is giving you the green light to move in on someone else’s misses.
The wonderful world of fab, moan when single men email couples looking to meet the female but encourage others to cause breakups.
I would weigh this up mate, is she getting attention from you and loving it because things are rocky at home? If so, you might find yourself on your own and down a friend when she decides to stick with what she has. It’s a scenario a lot of guys have found themselves in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will also add to the above, if she’s with a guy and is acting with you the way you say..what makes you so sure she won’t do that to you? Hmmm?
I was off for a few weeks recently and saw thingon Jeremy kyle
(seriously that’s not a joke. Got to love mind numbing daytime tv) |
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She has a boyfriend Op and hasn't left him . Until she actually leaves him and if then goes out with you then there is NOTHING for you to discuss or not with her! You are making issues where there are none .
IF she ever leaves he's boy friend
IF you both then want to maybe look at a relationship together .
IF at that point swinging is still something that important to you
THEN is the time you can truly evaluate the situation properly and decide what direction to go.
Until then it's all just ifs , buts , maybes and might bes ! Why waste energies on stuff that may never ever happen . Enjoy your swinging and just deal with the cards your dealt if and when life deals them . |
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"Rather surprised that everyone is giving you the green light to move in on someone else’s misses.
The wonderful world of fab, moan when single men email couples looking to meet the female but encourage others to cause breakups.
I would weigh this up mate, is she getting attention from you and loving it because things are rocky at home? If so, you might find yourself on your own and down a friend when she decides to stick with what she has. It’s a scenario a lot of guys have found themselves in"
He's not moving in, the feeling appears to be mutual. And I don't approve of cheating. The decent thing to do is to hold off with sex until she's sorted her relationship, but that's up to them, not up to you or me.
Or all 3 of them might end up in some amazing 3-way swinging adventure |
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By *anny77 OP Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
I’m not really planning a future with her yet - I’m wondering if she should have information about me in advance that may affect whether she decides I could even be a potential boyfriend for her... as I wouldn’t want her thinking I’m the one and making a decision and then running for the hills when (or if) I impart this information. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"If i met a new guy and he dropped the S word
Id run a country mile
Just saying "
It was me that mentioned Fab to another guy a few years ago. Ended up with a couple profile too. Some girls may surprise you! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I’m not really planning a future with her yet - I’m wondering if she should have information about me in advance that may affect whether she decides I could even be a potential boyfriend for her... as I wouldn’t want her thinking I’m the one and making a decision and then running for the hills when (or if) I impart this information."
You could ask her opinion about the lifestyle in a light hearted way to test her reaction. I’m sure there’s a few films featuring swinging that you could ask her opinion on.
It hasn’t always gone well for others that I know that have told new partners but on the other hand she may be open to it. I also know couples where it has worked out for them.
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