Some first messages that did put a smile on my face, but for the wrong reasons....
My dad thinks you’d be good for me.
You remind me of my alarm clock. I would tap the shit out of that every morning.
You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Let’s play barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I cum in.
You like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.
Can I come and sniff you senseless?
You’re like my little toe. I would bang you on every piece of furniture I have.
Any more like these floating about? Only ones that make you laugh please, already gone over "wanna fuck" quite a few times  x |
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"Just recently - "what kind of flowers do you like? Just so I know what to put on the coffin after I murder your pussy"
I've also had the stubbed toe one  "
That's good!!! Definitely a laugh out loud moment, probably just before you blocked the guy
Wonder if the stubbed toe was one and the same person. I had heard it before somewhere, so might be more broadly used x |
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"Definitely going to use the Ken and Barbie one, pmsl
Most are better than mine tbh, and these are the ones that didn’t work, eek I’ve got some work to then "
They actually did work. Never met any of the authors, since they weren't what I was looking for, but stayed in touch with some of them for a good while x |
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"Definitely going to use the Ken and Barbie one, pmsl
Most are better than mine tbh, and these are the ones that didn’t work, eek I’ve got some work to then
They actually did work. Never met any of the authors, since they weren't what I was looking for, but stayed in touch with some of them for a good while x"
Ah, using them all then, thanks for the tip lol x |
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"Definitely going to use the Ken and Barbie one, pmsl
Most are better than mine tbh, and these are the ones that didn’t work, eek I’ve got some work to then
They actually did work. Never met any of the authors, since they weren't what I was looking for, but stayed in touch with some of them for a good while x
Ah, using them all then, thanks for the tip lol x"
All of them would be overkill I think |
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"Definitely going to use the Ken and Barbie one, pmsl
Most are better than mine tbh, and these are the ones that didn’t work, eek I’ve got some work to then
They actually did work. Never met any of the authors, since they weren't what I was looking for, but stayed in touch with some of them for a good while x
Ah, using them all then, thanks for the tip lol x
All of them would be overkill I think "
Haha very funny, I wasn’t thinking for one person lol, honest, but if one doesn’t work I may have to move to a second  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice legs....what time do they open?
Is that a mirror in your pants?? Because I can see myself in them.
I bloody love that kinda stuff....make me giggle and cringe at the same time!
Xx |
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"Help the homeless, take me home with you
I’ve lost my teddy, will you sleep with me
Neither worked, just saying "
Clueless as to why. I would've thought people would be throwing themselves at you after receiving this  |
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I must confess that I've said that I think I'm gonna need ten thousand polar bears!
It didn't work, alas, I wasn't melting that ice maiden!
I donate to Save the Polar Bear in the vain hope that those cubs will one day help me on my time of need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nevermind Black Friday, there’s an underwear sale in my bedroom...100% off
Are you felling down? Il feel you up
You’ve been off recently, let me turn you on
Il get my coat... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some first messages that did put a smile on my face, but for the wrong reasons....
My dad thinks you’d be good for me.
You remind me of my alarm clock. I would tap the shit out of that every morning.
My made said this once, and I quote - “I’m glad I like kebabs”
Needless to say it was a completely fruitless endeavour
You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Let’s play barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I cum in.
You like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.
Can I come and sniff you senseless?
You’re like my little toe. I would bang you on every piece of furniture I have.
Any more like these floating about? Only ones that make you laugh please, already gone over "wanna fuck" quite a few times x "
My made said this once in an inferior site, and I quote - “I’m glad I like kebabs”
Needless to say it was a completely fruitless endeavour. I laughed. A LOT
|
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"Nice legs....what time do they open?
Is that a mirror in your pants?? Because I can see myself in them.
I bloody love that kinda stuff....make me giggle and cringe at the same time!
Xx"
Yep. Really good entertainment these ones |
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"Nevermind Black Friday, there’s an underwear sale in my bedroom...100% off
Are you felling down? Il feel you up
You’ve been off recently, let me turn you on
Il get my coat..."
Love the black Friday one!! Timing's perfect as well. How many girls you sent it to? |
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"All I got yesterday was "FANCY A FUCKKKKKK!"
He may have thought shouting would add to the erotic tone of his message."
Some people really don't get it. One I found this morning: I’d fuck you so good you’ll want more and more that’s a promise.
And this certainly didn't come from a Chris Hemsworth lookalike. Do they actually think we'll go for this???
Guaranteed block, these guys x |
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"Help the homeless, take me home with you
I’ve lost my teddy, will you sleep with me
Neither worked, just saying
Clueless as to why. I would've thought people would be throwing themselves at you after receiving this "
I’m surprised you’ve not had “ once you’ve popped I wouldn’t stop “ |
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"Help the homeless, take me home with you
I’ve lost my teddy, will you sleep with me
Neither worked, just saying
Clueless as to why. I would've thought people would be throwing themselves at you after receiving this
I’m surprised you’ve not had “ once you’ve popped I wouldn’t stop “ "
Countless times!! But had that coming when I chose my username |
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"I'd love to see the soles of your feet in my wing mirrors!
Think that one needs an explanatory picture to go with it.... Is it someone in the back seat? "
Either that or they are suggesting a hit and run of some sort.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to see the soles of your feet in my wing mirrors!
Think that one needs an explanatory picture to go with it.... Is it someone in the back seat?
Either that or they are suggesting a hit and run of some sort. "
|
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