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I could meet you now but...

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

... my nail polish isn't dry yet

Your turn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got this spot on my ass and I need to squeeze it, this may take a while

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I've got this spot on my ass and I need to squeeze it, this may take a while

Bet you're flexible

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My warts have not fully cleared....

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By *rs T and HubbyCouple over a year ago

somewhere north of the border..

I dont have a sitter for Hubby..

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By *uietbloke67Man over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

I meeting your mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm meeting your dad lol

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By *hekaiserMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Ive just cum...not horny now...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m waiting for darkness to ascend so I can covertly remove last nights date from the boot of the car... (I’m sorry

)

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By *r Costa xxMan over a year ago

stirling

I’m scared of the dark

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By *uietbloke67Man over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

"I'm meeting your dad lol

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By *is vixen at playCouple over a year ago

Dundee

Not got my tag off yet

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By *ringles0510Woman over a year ago

Central Borders

You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

If you want them, they will cum lol

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By *ringles0510Woman over a year ago

Central Borders

"You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

)

If you want them, they will cum lol

Cum where. Not here.... Oh wait. But I can!!! I'll sort it myself tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But I prefer Walkers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im pulling my fingernails out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im pulling my fingernails out.

So glad you never said "toenails".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

)

If you want them, they will cum lol

Cum where. Not here.... Oh wait. But I can!!! I'll sort it myself tonight

Soz I was watching 'field of dreams' earlier and couldn't help myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm off to a record fair

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"... my nail polish isn't dry yet

Your turn

You sound like me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im pulling my fingernails out.

So glad you never said "toenails".

*faints*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm meeting your daughter ( she's an adult remember!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm meeting your daughter ( she's an adult remember!)

Me?

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Am still cosy in bed and not budging for anyone

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

It would involve shaving my legs and I just can't be bothered

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im pulling my fingernails out.

So glad you never said "toenails".

That would be taking it too far

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"It would involve shaving my legs and I just can't be bothered"

I’m familiar with this one!

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By *ola cubesMan over a year ago

coatbridge

You have a head like a box of frogs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cause I can't be arsed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Coz I’m out with the girls tonight... hoes before bros

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By *losbMan over a year ago

gloucester

Really I’m a vampire....

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By *UNKIEMan over a year ago

south east

Cant be bothered shaving my baws

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m shaving my cat!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

trying to become a nun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Coronation Street is too good to miss...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Coronation Street is too good to miss..."

I'm trying to make a tutu fir Halloween

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By *hilipepperWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

)

If you want them, they will cum lol

Cum where. Not here.... Oh wait. But I can!!! I'll sort it myself tonight

Soz I was watching 'field of dreams' earlier and couldn't help myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're too far away and I cannae be bothered ( now if only they'd say that instead of pretending they want to come over and come up with a lame excuse I'd at least appreciate their honesty

)

If you want them, they will cum lol

Cum where. Not here.... Oh wait. But I can!!! I'll sort it myself tonight

Soz I was watching 'field of dreams' earlier and couldn't help myself

Lucky, I could have been watching the 'Rocky Horror Show' and you never know wit kind of reply to any post I'd a put up

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By *hilipepperWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

Lucky, I could have been watching the 'Rocky Horror Show' and you never know wit kind of reply to any post I'd a put up

Haha I love The Rocky Horror Picture Show

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lucky, I could have been watching the 'Rocky Horror Show' and you never know wit kind of reply to any post I'd a put up

Haha I love The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Tim Curry

He was made for the rocky horror Picture Show or was it made for him lol

pure class, perfect combination

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By *hilipepperWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

Tim Curry

He was made for the rocky horror Picture Show or was it made for him lol

pure class, perfect combination

Couldn't agree more!!! Everything I ever see him in just reminds me of that film

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tim Curry

He was made for the rocky horror Picture Show or was it made for him lol

pure class, perfect combination

Couldn't agree more!!! Everything I ever see him in just reminds me of that film

I haven't a clue but i bet his orgasm is some moan lolllllllllllllllllllll

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could meet you now but I’m watching the paint dry....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could meet you but I'm busy standing in the rain

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By *rs Robinson no 1Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

I could meet you right now but sorry I'm on a plane to cambodia

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By *eestar38Couple over a year ago

Ayrshire

All time favourite and classic my works just phoned and I have to go in to cover.

Or my babysitter cancelled at last min ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My jewelled butt plug is jammed and I am in an ambulance as we speak .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm in the middle of knitting a willy warmer

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'm saving myself for marriage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But

Just

Don't

Want

Too

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

But I've just washed my hair...

And there all still hanging up..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m having a gang bang

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But I'm playing PUBG

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By *utdoor29Man over a year ago

paisley

I’m not allowed

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By *exy gentMan over a year ago

Midlothian

I'm watching footie highlights on sky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your not my type.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have a corpse to dispose of

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course i would but there are so many before you

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By *ustcantgetenuf50Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

My probation officer is insisting I keep my scheduled appointment.

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Am too busy being cheeky on the forum!

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By *oebloggs67Man over a year ago

near you but not too near

Cant be twatted getting off my arse

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By *andsCouple over a year ago

Edin

I’d rather file my nails !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’d rather file my nails ! "

I'm busy burning dinner.

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By *andsCouple over a year ago

Edin

"I’d rather file my nails !

I'm busy burning dinner."

Sore subject in here tonight I over cooked the roast beef .... ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’d rather file my nails !

I'm busy burning dinner.

Sore subject in here tonight I over cooked the roast beef .... ouch! "

My kids think our smoke alarm is the oven timer...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive got a hair brush stuck up my arse. And not the slidy end

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

"I’d rather file my nails !

I'm busy burning dinner.

Sore subject in here tonight I over cooked the roast beef .... ouch!

My kids think our smoke alarm is the oven timer...

Or it signals dinner is ready !

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

I’m at my Mum’s for dinner.

Ain’t leaving for anyone!

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Am sitting in front of a fan heater and not budging for anymore

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I've got a big spot on my chin

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

"I've got a big spot on my chin

I don't think that would put me off tbh

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By *ane DTV/TS over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm giving cpr to my goldfish

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I've got a big spot on my chin

I don't think that would put me off tbh

Its that big, meeting me right now would be like having a threesome

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

"I've got a big spot on my chin

I don't think that would put me off tbh

Its that big, meeting me right now would be like having a threesome

Boaster

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By *ane DTV/TS over a year ago

Glasgow

"I've got a big spot on my chin

I don't think that would put me off tbh

Its that big, meeting me right now would be like having a threesome

It's not your chin she's interested in...

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

[Removed by poster at 29/10/17 22:10:30]

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

"I've got a big spot on my chin

I don't think that would put me off tbh

Its that big, meeting me right now would be like having a threesome

It's not your chin she's interested in...

MoI?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got to go to church....

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By *hav02Man over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I could meet you now but..

...fcuk! I was just dreaming

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve laddered my stockings x

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By *andsCouple over a year ago

Edin

I’m watching Judge Judy

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By *UNKIEMan over a year ago

south east

Im on my death bed with man flu

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By *vbride1963TV/TS over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"Im on my death bed with man flu "

Jesus and you’ve just got the new wheels too .

If the worst happens Temp will look amazing in new black heels .

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

"Im on my death bed with man flu

Jesus and you’ve just got the new wheels too .

If the worst happens Temp will look amazing in new black heels .

Someone mention new shoes??? Ohhhhh!!!!

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Perth

I've actually replied to an idiotic message......"I can't meet, I'm busy watching 2 slugs racing in the garden"

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

I too was playing races with my 2 pet leeches whilst lying naked on the bed.

I can’t meet you though as I only found one of them after I fell asleep. Can’t imagine where it could be

but I need to find it.

Mr S

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By *ero666Man over a year ago

fife

I'm busy hunting an elephant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My pet rock has ran away I need to find him

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By *edLionScotMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I'm giving cpr to my goldfish

Is that a euphemism!?!

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By *edLionScotMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

It's the Bake-Off final!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's the Bake-Off final!

Perfectly acceptable....SCD also counts as valid reason

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm binge watching stranger things 2

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By *hav02Man over a year ago

Glasgow/London

but... I'm actually a 40yr old nerd virgin who's never touched a woman and already creamed my pants thinking about meeting you

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By *witcherooMan over a year ago

Muirhead

"All time favourite and classic my works just phoned and I have to go in to cover.

Or my babysitter cancelled at last min ?? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This paint won't dry without being watched

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By *argaidMan over a year ago

glasgow

I'm watching the grass grow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But I've lost the keys to my straight jacket, but the wee pixie in the corner wearing a strap on says "hi"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/11/17 09:13:20]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But I am lounging in a hot steaming bubble bath with a glass of fizz in one hand and my slave massaging my tootsies....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm polishing my halo

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By *UNKIEMan over a year ago

south east

"I'm polishing my halo

Your always polishing that ....ahh penny drops

..thats what you meant

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

... am sticky! with resin and glue!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm polishing my halo

Your always polishing that ....ahh penny drops

..thats what you meant

Hahaha _unkie boy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What yous all on about ive broken ribs and still entertained

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By *awty Max OP Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What yous all on about ive broken ribs and still entertained

You mean... she/he did all the work while you lay there not moving enjoying lol

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