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Taking the initiative
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How good are you at taking the initiative?
If you really fancy someone will you make the first move and ask for a meet or do you wait for the other party to make the first move.
Im not shy in coming forward and if I fancy someone enough will suggest meeting  |
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"I wouldnt really ask for a meet directly ..
I would be more inclined to engage in some chat for a bit...
And ...if it went well...then i would ask .
  "
Me too Id need to spend some time chatting first but once I know Id like to meet Id suggest it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never make the 1st move
Ever !!
Prob lost out on meeting some nice guys but hey that's the chance I take "
Same here. I never initiate first contact. If I do seek a meet I tend to post one, especially if I am in a different area
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Its not my strong point. I usually talk myself out of itwhy? I don't have much confidenceI just dont get this?  "
why? Everyone is different. I can be pretty outgoing and chatty on here, however put me in a room full of people and its forced. After a while I retreat. I spend so much time battling self doubt and feeling very self conscious.
I'd love to be more free spirited and just go for it. I envy those who can.
Its just not me though. And that's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a profile catches my eye then I'll drop him a message and see how things go after exchanging pics etc. All going well I have no problem with asking about meeting.
I know what I like, my type etc so yeah, id happily approach him. Life is too short to sit patiently and hope to get noticed. |
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I must admit i rarely ever make the first move when i have it's probably been about a 70% success rate...
I usually just respond if I'm interested or it just happens naturally after a bit of banter, just like in the real world..
It's actually quite difficult as TG to work out if a fems just being friendly and/or a little intrigued by it all or if they are like you know "interested".... tend to be cagey in that situation in case you make a move and its not welcomed  ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I send a first message, it's usually light hearted, complimentary, or trying to be supportive of the other person. 9 times out of 10, it gets deleted without reply. Ok, we all know how much mail femails get on a daily basis, and they can't reply to it all. I accept that. It does put me off making the first move, or trying again, because you don't know if it was because of the amount of mail she had, she's not interested, or whatever.
On the occasions where I do get a reply, I am still wary of making an approach, even after a good exchange of messages. One recent exchange was going well, we seemed on the same page, and I had worked up the nerve to bring up the subject of meeting for coffee, only to find that I was blocked! Obviously, I have no idea why.
This is why I don't feel confident about taking the initiative any more, and I'm sure there will be other guys here who have had similar experiences.
This isn't a "poor me" story, it's just my reality, and probably for others too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never made the first move either in here or in real life just not my style and I've probably missed out but hey ho"
I'm sure you are not short of offers, though! |
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"I've never made the first move either in here or in real life just not my style and I've probably missed out but hey ho
I'm sure you are not short of offers, though!"
true, just as all the other females on here are, I wouldn't like to be a man in the dating world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not my strong point. I usually talk myself out of itwhy? I don't have much confidenceI just dont get this? why? Everyone is different. I can be pretty outgoing and chatty on here, however put me in a room full of people and its forced. After a while I retreat. I spend so much time battling self doubt and feeling very self conscious.
I'd love to be more free spirited and just go for it. I envy those who can.
Its just not me though. And that's ok. "
I probably empathise most with this, it's why I've never really gone to a social... the idea scares the life oot me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite shy in that sense and don't tend to initiate. I will chat away and if I like them and they suggest meeting i will accept but wouldn't ask first xx"
Ohh you little liar she came onto me  xx |
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"I'm actually quite shy in that sense and don't tend to initiate. I will chat away and if I like them and they suggest meeting i will accept but wouldn't ask first xx
Ohh you little liar she came onto me xx "
That's a lie lol I'm straight xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite shy in that sense and don't tend to initiate. I will chat away and if I like them and they suggest meeting i will accept but wouldn't ask first xx
Ohh you little liar she came onto me xx "
Is there anyone who can resist your "charms"?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite shy in that sense and don't tend to initiate. I will chat away and if I like them and they suggest meeting i will accept but wouldn't ask first xx
Ohh you little liar she came onto me xx
That's a lie lol I'm straight xxx"
I have the photographs lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite shy in that sense and don't tend to initiate. I will chat away and if I like them and they suggest meeting i will accept but wouldn't ask first xx
Ohh you little liar she came onto me xx
That's a lie lol I'm straight xxx"
and ps hunni yea that's what they all say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I think we should agree it was mutual lol yeah I always knew I should let people take photos xx"
Haha my eyes only hunni and no you def came on to me  you know you want me lol xx |
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Being male, I've made the first move on countless occasions, but I'd say that my success rate is probably about 3 to 4 per cent. (Patters rotten)
But if a woman made the first move, I'd probably be like most guys and not have a clue, cos we're pretty crap at picking up on hints and the supposed tell tale signs.
Only way I'd be sure it's if the lady asked outright if I'd fancy a f*%$know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guess the let downs mean I've become worse not better, I'm very wary of arranging/asking for meets as my free time is very limited so I haven't met in ages  |
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