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Perceptions

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

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By *r Costa xxMan  over a year ago

stirling

Or.........concentrate on the 20%????

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I kind of agree

I suppose if you look at it as 80% of a group are assholes then you mught want to avoid the rest because it seems easier to avoid 100% than guess which are the good 20%

Realiatically you dont owe that 20% anything so why put yourself theough the hassle of giving them a chance

However the flip side is you could miss a total gem of a person in that 20% you wrote off so does it make more sense to judge eac person on their own merit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss??? "

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Or.........concentrate on the 20%???? "

Yes agreed but in finding it one is often judged for your selection process (or perceptions) ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated "

Exactly, which then... for me... makes me think, surely as adults these points of view can/should be expressed in a non confrontational way for the benefit of all...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated

Exactly, which then... for me... makes me think, surely as adults these points of view can/should be expressed in a non confrontational way for the benefit of all... "

Yes i agree with the point non confrontational but some arnt like that and at times it feels these types are just out to have a go instead of saying no there not for me ..yes if they wish say why but then move to ppl that are for them

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By *evilleCouple  over a year ago

edinburgh

It's amazing how the Pareto principal works in all walks of life !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated "

I agree totally but on the other hand one cannot indulge a sea of obvious fools either... but then one woman's fool is perhaps another ones knight in armour. I'm playing devils advocate here in that I do see both points. However it would be very foolish to believe everything one is told here... just like real life, wouldn't you agree??

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's amazing how the Pareto principal works in all walks of life !!!!! "

Birdseye obviously mastered that one eh?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman  over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated

I agree totally but on the other hand one cannot indulge a sea of obvious fools either... but then one woman's fool is perhaps another ones knight in armour. I'm playing devils advocate here in that I do see both points. However it would be very foolish to believe everything one is told here... just like real life, wouldn't you agree?? "

Totally

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge

Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On another post someone made the comment that there were often closed minded judgements.

A good point.

However my observation is that when judging any individual or group it's not that clear cut... all of us can only go by how a person/group behaves to try and ascertain their nature... as a realistic and perceptive human being (that's everyone on Fab right? ) we know that not every square peg fits a round hole... but we do also know that certain generalities abound... I'm thinking of all the posts on single men who can't seem to ever get hold of basic rules here, uptheirownarsewomen/couples, marriedbutsingle profiles and a host of other things...

My point is we all judge... but we judge or perceive by what we are presented with...

So if you find 80% of a certain group of people are arse holes then surely it's common sense to be skeptical??

Discuss???

I would like to think most ppl judge on there own personal experiences on here but sadly thats not always the case i think ..some ppl arw followers and will side up with wat others just to fit in with certain pple

As for certain types getting judged ..single guys ? Married playing alone ? Yes many will have had bad experiences where the odd single guy is a proper dkhead or the married person convincing meets they are single instead of beeing honest and gives other person the choice to meet or not ...

But folk have to remember you cant judge everyone in these said groups the same

Afor you know it you end up with ..we are the rightoues brigrade and ppl feel segregated

I agree totally but on the other hand one cannot indulge a sea of obvious fools either... but then one woman's fool is perhaps another ones knight in armour. I'm playing devils advocate here in that I do see both points. However it would be very foolish to believe everything one is told here... just like real life, wouldn't you agree?? "

Yes i agree obviously,as the saying goes only ever trust yourself and keep your wits about you and use gut instinct and yes some pple will get on with some that others dont ..all in all fab can be a strange wee world at times lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly"

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman  over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

My own perceptions on people are keep everyone at arms length and always play your cards close to your chest .

This little world of fab has many different people from all walks of life and like in the real world we're not all going to get along.

Im the type of person who will smile and play nice even to those I dont particularly like .

You be nice to me Il be nice to you but if you want to be an arsehole then bash on you will quickly meet my block button which is the best feature on here for getting rid of people your not interested in .

Keep smiling and having fun and dont sweat the small stuff

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol "

I would guess what is deemed a confrontational comment varies by how each person decides to interpret it....im seen as placing these I wouldnt agree.

im just super confident in what I believe and see little need for fluff in what should in my mind be an exchange of views.

where I would say to often its more a popularity contest (thats a trigger comment right there but it is my belief and not an inflammatory statement in my mind)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My own perceptions on people are keep everyone at arms length and always play your cards close to your chest .

This little world of fab has many different people from all walks of life and like in the real world we're not all going to get along.

Im the type of person who will smile and play nice even to those I dont particularly like .

You be nice to me Il be nice to you but if you want to be an arsehole then bash on you will quickly meet my block button which is the best feature on here for getting rid of people your not interested in .

Keep smiling and having fun and dont sweat the small stuff "

It is indeed a good philosophy Jaqs but I'm sure you know the kind of frustrating post I mean... for example blocking people you have no interest in (saves wasted time for both) yet this leads to posts on here on "why am I blocked for no reason"... mostly it's someone who hadn't taken the hint... mostly lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman  over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"My own perceptions on people are keep everyone at arms length and always play your cards close to your chest .

This little world of fab has many different people from all walks of life and like in the real world we're not all going to get along.

Im the type of person who will smile and play nice even to those I dont particularly like .

You be nice to me Il be nice to you but if you want to be an arsehole then bash on you will quickly meet my block button which is the best feature on here for getting rid of people your not interested in .

Keep smiling and having fun and dont sweat the small stuff

It is indeed a good philosophy Jaqs but I'm sure you know the kind of frustrating post I mean... for example blocking people you have no interest in (saves wasted time for both) yet this leads to posts on here on "why am I blocked for no reason"... mostly it's someone who hadn't taken the hint... mostly lol "

yeah or to have a we dig but that just shows I was right to block in the first place .

I tend not to get involved in those types of posts as altho they can be entertaining at best they do get tiresome and boring lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol "

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol I would guess what is deemed a confrontational comment varies by how each person decides to interpret it....im seen as placing these I wouldnt agree.

im just super confident in what I believe and see little need for fluff in what should in my mind be an exchange of views.

where I would say to often its more a popularity contest (thats a trigger comment right there but it is my belief and not an inflammatory statement in my mind)"

I see what you're saying and I often see you're posts as blunt but not confrontational, discussion needs that... acknowledging and accepting differences with grace is part of opening our perceptions

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My own perceptions on people are keep everyone at arms length and always play your cards close to your chest .

This little world of fab has many different people from all walks of life and like in the real world we're not all going to get along.

Im the type of person who will smile and play nice even to those I dont particularly like .

You be nice to me Il be nice to you but if you want to be an arsehole then bash on you will quickly meet my block button which is the best feature on here for getting rid of people your not interested in .

Keep smiling and having fun and dont sweat the small stuff

It is indeed a good philosophy Jaqs but I'm sure you know the kind of frustrating post I mean... for example blocking people you have no interest in (saves wasted time for both) yet this leads to posts on here on "why am I blocked for no reason"... mostly it's someone who hadn't taken the hint... mostly lol yeah or to have a we dig but that just shows I was right to block in the first place .

I tend not to get involved in those types of posts as altho they can be entertaining at best they do get tiresome and boring lol "

Yes and there's fun and Chardonnay to be had ffs

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By *alcon43Woman  over a year ago

Paisley

I like to make up my own mind. One fabber was getting a hard time in a forum. I chatted later to him when he sat next to me at cj's. We had a very pleasant chat and I'm glad I hadn't judged him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so "

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I like to make up my own mind. One fabber was getting a hard time in a forum. I chatted later to him when he sat next to me at cj's. We had a very pleasant chat and I'm glad I hadn't judged him.

"

Interesting Falcon... I'm not saying it's the case but sometimes the written word is misunderstood... either because the author isn't clear or because the reader has misinterpreted what's been written

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol I would guess what is deemed a confrontational comment varies by how each person decides to interpret it....im seen as placing these I wouldnt agree.

im just super confident in what I believe and see little need for fluff in what should in my mind be an exchange of views.

where I would say to often its more a popularity contest (thats a trigger comment right there but it is my belief and not an inflammatory statement in my mind)

I see what you're saying and I often see you're posts as blunt but not confrontational, discussion needs that... acknowledging and accepting differences with grace is part of opening our perceptions "

Agreed.

Forums are for discussion, debate and swapping/bouncing ideas and I like the fact that you sometimes get to see how others perceive things in a good or bad way but you also can review the way you looked at something.

And to do what the forum is about, one does not have to be disrespectful to another poster.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol I would guess what is deemed a confrontational comment varies by how each person decides to interpret it....im seen as placing these I wouldnt agree.

im just super confident in what I believe and see little need for fluff in what should in my mind be an exchange of views.

where I would say to often its more a popularity contest (thats a trigger comment right there but it is my belief and not an inflammatory statement in my mind)

I see what you're saying and I often see you're posts as blunt but not confrontational, discussion needs that... acknowledging and accepting differences with grace is part of opening our perceptions

Agreed.

Forums are for discussion, debate and swapping/bouncing ideas and I like the fact that you sometimes get to see how others perceive things in a good or bad way but you also can review the way you looked at something.

And to do what the forum is about, one does not have to be disrespectful to another poster.

"

You're the perfect poster ma wee Petit Pois xXx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it "

A very humble point of view but allows me to underline that we all do "judge" ... for example if every person you met wearing a red top punched you... you'd be understandably wary of folk with red tops BUT it would be wrong to judge all folk you met by those people x

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it "

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering. "

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature. "

Spot on Max xXx

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times"

The thing is some people want to keep their 'popularity up' , want to keep the am-nice look, look butter-wont melt in my mouth look.

And you have others that well, say it as it is, give their points of view ms and are dealing with the shredding!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times"

Well I agree with some of what you've said but my point is to try and state your point rationally and with some kind of eloquence if it's a serious topic such as you mentioned and also without abuse. Mostly you've done that here though I can understand your passion at the situations and attitudes you've described in your examples.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times

Well I agree with some of what you've said but my point is to try and state your point rationally and with some kind of eloquence if it's a serious topic such as you mentioned and also without abuse. Mostly you've done that here though I can understand your passion at the situations and attitudes you've described in your examples. "

Well I've never got a forum ban yet so I can't be doing too bad. But maybe a spell on the naughty step would do wonders for my street cred haha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times"

I saw this last week but hadnt been back long enough to post on the forums yet

Had i been able to i would definitely have had something to say about it and would have found it difficult to be polite about it ... being open minded about sex is not the same as condoning sexual assault

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

lol you're one up on me if you've not been banned... I was outraged and even other forumites agreed it was unfair but hey ho

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx "

totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Interesting topic and thread with some good and valid points made.

The problem I believe is that our perception is our reality and has been built by our history, not just on here but in life generally.

Do we have the "right" to judge, no, nobody has that as a "right" but we all will anyway.

My belief and my take on it is as it always has been.

The only judgement worth a damn is the one you make looking in the mirror and that's the only on we have a "right" to

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover "

dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times

I saw this last week but hadnt been back long enough to post on the forums yet

Had i been able to i would definitely have had something to say about it and would have found it difficult to be polite about it ... being open minded about sex is not the same as condoning sexual assault "

Yeah I know, every tine anyone gave it the thumbs up or said carry on I thought really?? I was starting to think i was over reacting. But then the pm's started coming in, agreeing with me. And once admin pulled the thread I thought well guess they thought it was pretty dodgy too. I just find it curious how so many would pm me but not feel able to post on the thread. I can't believe they were all white knights trying to get inti my knickers lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"lol you're one up on me if you've not been banned... I was outraged and even other forumites agreed it was unfair but hey ho "

Ahh but it's like a badge of honour surely

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements "

Ahhhh Kola you are clearly my soulmate lets get married! Except I dont really believe in marriage haha

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements

Ahhhh Kola you are clearly my soulmate lets get married! Except I dont really believe in marriage haha "

hey its not a leap year......and married life dont suit me how about a kebab on the promenade instead

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements

Ahhhh Kola you are clearly my soulmate lets get married! Except I dont really believe in marriage haha hey its not a leap year......and married life dont suit me how about a kebab on the promenade instead "

ahh you know how to sweet talk a woman... but I can't deal with chilli sauce on a kebab. Only garlic sauce. Can you cope with that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements "

I'm going to keep this civil you can judge and say what ever you want my friend but no matter what either off these statements say I have not changed nothing I am still saying I don't judge and you do not know me or anything about me you ask anyone that knows me they will tell you I will give every one the the time off day and am I saying makes me a better person or that no cause in all honest I can be a total prick

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements

Ahhhh Kola you are clearly my soulmate lets get married! Except I dont really believe in marriage haha hey its not a leap year......and married life dont suit me how about a kebab on the promenade instead

ahh you know how to sweet talk a woman... but I can't deal with chilli sauce on a kebab. Only garlic sauce. Can you cope with that "

as long as there is irn bru tis all good

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements I'm going to keep this civil you can judge and say what ever you want my friend but no matter what either off these statements say I have not changed nothing I am still saying I don't judge and you do not know me or anything about me you ask anyone that knows me they will tell you I will give every one the the time off day and am I saying makes me a better person or that no cause in all honest I can be a total prick "

the problem to my mind is you appear to change your stance to suit. saying I dont judge then someone calling you out on it and claiming its I dont judge pictures to me shows a person who will say what it takes to be onside with who they find stimulating at that moment rather than an honest answer. This is just words so keeping it civil is a given.

to be fair I believe there are alot of folk like yourself that prefer to hide their judgements and go for the pc answers because they are seen as "safe"

that dosnt mean you dont judge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements

Ahhhh Kola you are clearly my soulmate lets get married! Except I dont really believe in marriage haha hey its not a leap year......and married life dont suit me how about a kebab on the promenade instead

ahh you know how to sweet talk a woman... but I can't deal with chilli sauce on a kebab. Only garlic sauce. Can you cope with that as long as there is irn bru tis all good "

well am more of a red kola kind of girl... but hey, just means more irn bru left for you!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements I'm going to keep this civil you can judge and say what ever you want my friend but no matter what either off these statements say I have not changed nothing I am still saying I don't judge and you do not know me or anything about me you ask anyone that knows me they will tell you I will give every one the the time off day and am I saying makes me a better person or that no cause in all honest I can be a total prick the problem to my mind is you appear to change your stance to suit. saying I dont judge then someone calling you out on it and claiming its I dont judge pictures to me shows a person who will say what it takes to be onside with who they find stimulating at that moment rather than an honest answer. This is just words so keeping it civil is a given.

to be fair I believe there are alot of folk like yourself that prefer to hide their judgements and go for the pc answers because they are seen as "safe"

that dosnt mean you dont judge

"

mate honestly are you for real, a pc, safe answers. When I said about the pictures I was talking metaphorically to what max said about someone looking hot in there pictures, as after I said that I said if I don't like what I see when I'm looking in a mirror how can I judge anyone else on looks. Like any normal person I was defending myself, so you tell me were am I changing I'm saying I don't judge people no matter what and you don't have a clue were was I once trying to be on anyone's side I was actually disagreeing with someone I think of as a friend so get your facts right how's that being safe as for needing people to like me on fab maybe that's what you need people either like me or not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover dont you see your changing what you wrote.....started Idont judge your now changing it to I dont judge on pictures.

This isnt to get at you mearly highlighting the misrepresentation of what has been written.

I have no qualms in admiting I judge everything and I act on my judgements I'm going to keep this civil you can judge and say what ever you want my friend but no matter what either off these statements say I have not changed nothing I am still saying I don't judge and you do not know me or anything about me you ask anyone that knows me they will tell you I will give every one the the time off day and am I saying makes me a better person or that no cause in all honest I can be a total prick the problem to my mind is you appear to change your stance to suit. saying I dont judge then someone calling you out on it and claiming its I dont judge pictures to me shows a person who will say what it takes to be onside with who they find stimulating at that moment rather than an honest answer. This is just words so keeping it civil is a given.

to be fair I believe there are alot of folk like yourself that prefer to hide their judgements and go for the pc answers because they are seen as "safe"

that dosnt mean you dont judge

mate honestly are you for real, a pc, safe answers. When I said about the pictures I was talking metaphorically to what max said about someone looking hot in there pictures, as after I said that I said if I don't like what I see when I'm looking in a mirror how can I judge anyone else on looks. Like any normal person I was defending myself, so you tell me were am I changing I'm saying I don't judge people no matter what and you don't have a clue were was I once trying to be on anyone's side I was actually disagreeing with someone I think of as a friend so get your facts right how's that being safe as for needing people to like me on fab maybe that's what you need people either like me or not "

plus i aint no liar if i judged people i would say so dont tell me i hide my judgement like other people when how the fuck would you know when you havent ever met me and dont even know me youve attacked me few times on the forums when you had no need to get involved I didn't aim anything at you was having a disagreement with a fab friend

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman  over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

What I have found on here is many also judge a person by association and thats totally wrong.

I am honestly one of these people who dont pass judgement until ive met a person because I have got someone wrong on more than one occation then met them and they have been the total oposit as to how Ive percieved them via the forums on here.

Im a believer in taking people at face value until they give you reason not to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow some sense in scotland forums.

generally I wouldnt get along with 90% or more of the folk on fab because of the type of person it attracts. In regards to my preconceptions many think im wrong and thats fine it means little to me.

But I will stick with folk mean nothing to me till they prove they are worth my time.

couldnt answer your full question as its a complex one that would require a few chapters to answer properly

Indeed Kola, I often feel that with forum posts... but sometimes feel a more "why do you feel that way" approach might be more beneficial or enlightening than confrontational statements or "clever" remarks... it's a serious topic I know but it's been niggling me for a while lol

Yeah most of the time I am "why do you feel that way" because I am genuinely curious. But sometimes I go full on judgemental "what the fuck??" which maybe bugs some people. But it is always because I think wtf, not because I side with anyone else that has said it. The notion that "nobody has the right to judge" just does not sit right with me either. Of course we judge, we take the information we are presented with and decide how to proceed, that is judgement. The idea we should not disagree with anyones foibles because "we are on a sex/swinging site" does my head in too. So we are open minded and our morals may be different to others. But we still have morals. Should we say "live and let live" to every crackpot dubious fetish on here? I don't think so. And I say so. Then makes me giggle when I am called the "fun police" or something equally daft. Because I am more open-minded and tolerant than most people I talk to in the real world. But still. Some things I read on here make me go... WTF. And I am thankful I have the right to say so

lol exactly and we should be able to do so in a way that makes us think... we may think ... nah I still go with my original thought... OR we might think - yanno, that's a good point hadn't thought of it like that before but it should be with reasonable discussion and respect not bickering.

Well yeah bickering is no fun. But as for your point it should be a reasonable discussion with respect, that's where you lose me. Because I don't believe everyone is automatically entitled to my respect. Why should they be? And of course same goes in reverse, I do not automatically expect everyone to respect me or my points of view. The last two I have argued with were a guy feeding his gf up to get obese as it is his sexual fetish, and a guy telling a story of when he had a d*unk girl asleep on him and he took the opportunity to "feel her up" in ways I considered to be sexual abuse. In my opinion, neither man was worthy of my respect. Not in the slightest. And I explained my discomfort as best I could. But what worries me is this. Soon plenty posted telling me oh live and let live, you have too much time on your hands, fun police and all that. Okay that is their opinion. But even more private messaged me to say they agreed with me. So why is it those mailing me in private felt they could not say it on the public forum? Because they don't want to deal with the backlash. They have learned from past attempts. And I will say again, winds me up, in both instances I was told I couldn't "act like i had morals" as I am on a sex site (I call it a swinging site). So I enjoy fucking random people. Does not mean I must agree with some of the low down shit I see on here at times

I saw this last week but hadnt been back long enough to post on the forums yet

Had i been able to i would definitely have had something to say about it and would have found it difficult to be polite about it ... being open minded about sex is not the same as condoning sexual assault "

Very true GIL however I feel strongly that one can voice a strong opinion without losing one's dignity as I am sure you would agree... I think any posts I've seen of yours have been exactly like that. Also at the end of the day if someone really disagrees with you... and you have had your say... then you really have to just agree to differ, politely.

Jaqs agree re making your own mind up re someone....

Porno - I also see your point and think you and Kola have to do that agreeing to differ thing lol... just my take...

Kola... that's three badges of honour I have then

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By *earded blossomCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

Great post with great comments... enjoyed reading this. I used to take everyone at face value on fab as that's what I do outwith it however after being spectacularly wrong about someone I'm more wary now.

As for judging It's something I think everyone does even if it's just forming an opinion on something you read or a pic you see. I've read comments on the forum n thought what an asshole about someone I've never met, doesn't mean I dislike them or that I wouldn't talk to them if the opportunity arose. I try not to do the by association thing and make up my mind based on my personal experiences, doesn't always work out that way though

K x

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover "

Totally know what you mean and I know you are not going for looks, that was an example in general xx

However, I do 'judge' a book by its cover and the blah blah on the back.

Therefore when I start reading it I have made a conclusion that's it's a book I want to open and i expect a certain story.

Hope this makes sense

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Great post with great comments... enjoyed reading this. I used to take everyone at face value on fab as that's what I do outwith it however after being spectacularly wrong about someone I'm more wary now.

As for judging It's something I think everyone does even if it's just forming an opinion on something you read or a pic you see. I've read comments on the forum n thought what an asshole about someone I've never met, doesn't mean I dislike them or that I wouldn't talk to them if the opportunity arose. I try not to do the by association thing and make up my mind based on my personal experiences, doesn't always work out that way though

K x"

Thanks K and great comment too xXx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The only person I judge is myself and i am my own worst enemy. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else as I like most have flaws and make mistakes so how can i judge anyone else unless im perfect which i will never be far from it

I get what you are saying but...

let's go to the definition 'to judge', it says 'to form an opinion or conclusion about'... so from this, we all do it.

I like her profile pics... she must be hot, she must be this and that, i wanna meet her!

He's black... he must have a massive one!

It's human nature.

Spot on Max xXx totally get what your saying max, but I don't judge people on pictures as I said. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I judge anyone else on looks. To me it's all about personality and if we click and it's not skin colour that means you have a big one and just cause someone is as you said hot in person or in conversation they could be the biggest and most arrogant twat you ever met so that old saying never judge a book by its cover

Totally know what you mean and I know you are not going for looks, that was an example in general xx

However, I do 'judge' a book by its cover and the blah blah on the back.

Therefore when I start reading it I have made a conclusion that's it's a book I want to open and i expect a certain story.

Hope this makes sense "

.

Great way of putting it Max xXx

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh

Merci and great thread Rouge some good points from everyone xxx

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By *alcon43Woman  over a year ago

Paisley


"I like to make up my own mind. One fabber was getting a hard time in a forum. I chatted later to him when he sat next to me at cj's. We had a very pleasant chat and I'm glad I hadn't judged him.

Interesting Falcon... I'm not saying it's the case but sometimes the written word is misunderstood... either because the author isn't clear or because the reader has misinterpreted what's been written "

This guy was at the wrong end of some blatant bullying and lies. Nothing misunderstood about it. Just a shame others probably didn't take time to talk to him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I like to make up my own mind. One fabber was getting a hard time in a forum. I chatted later to him when he sat next to me at cj's. We had a very pleasant chat and I'm glad I hadn't judged him.

Interesting Falcon... I'm not saying it's the case but sometimes the written word is misunderstood... either because the author isn't clear or because the reader has misinterpreted what's been written

This guy was at the wrong end of some blatant bullying and lies. Nothing misunderstood about it. Just a shame others probably didn't take time to talk to him. "

That's truly horrible Falcon, I really don't get what folk get out of such behaviour. I'm glad you supported him, he must have appreciated that immensely x

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By *ifes journeyCouple  over a year ago

scotland

People behind a screen are very different to the actual person in reality....so forming an opinion of on anyone persona can't always be real.....time and time again we have met people in person and they have been very different.

But yes people judge but what we've learned is never gudge through others eyes.

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