FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > First drinks social nerves
First drinks social nerves
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.  
See you there xx |
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xx"
my stomaches in knots thinking about it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xxmy stomaches in knots thinking about it "
doesn't ever leave you  |
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xxmy stomaches in knots thinking about it doesn't ever leave you "
No it doesnt ekkkk  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xxmy stomaches in knots thinking about it "
why...you have done loads of these? |
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xxmy stomaches in knots thinking about it why...you have done loads of these? "
just a confidance thing just now & not done anything in ages .
Know itl be fine tho just got butterfly tummy just now lol |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
Ok, for what it's worth, here is the furry guide to socials.
Go, be yourself, smile, force yourself to say hello to complete strangers (yes it seems scary but after 30 seconds you'll wonder why you were so scared), don't get too d*unk, don't go with expectations - just go aiming to have a laugh.
I've never yet been to a social where I've not left wishing it could have lasted another 6 hours 
Just enjoy and don't let your nerves build up. Keep your mind busy during the day and don't think about it. You'll ALL have a blast |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok, for what it's worth, here is the furry guide to socials.
Go, be yourself, smile, force yourself to say hello to complete strangers (yes it seems scary but after 30 seconds you'll wonder why you were so scared), don't get too d*unk, don't go with expectations - just go aiming to have a laugh.
I've never yet been to a social where I've not left wishing it could have lasted another 6 hours
Just enjoy and don't let your nerves build up. Keep your mind busy during the day and don't think about it. You'll ALL have a blast "
Good advice Andy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xxmy stomaches in knots thinking about it why...you have done loads of these? just a confidance thing just now & not done anything in ages .
Know itl be fine tho just got butterfly tummy just now lol"
We think that no matter how many times you have been to a social, you always get a little bit of that nervous excitement....it's natural.
Just look around and know that most of us are feeling the same! Or better still, just grab someone (not iterally grab......well, maybe just a little lol)
Looking forward to catching up with new friends and people we haven't seen for a long time
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Will be there myself first ever time at a social meet & as am from up North even more nervous but am sure will be fun.
Hopefully will get a conversation or if any single ladies like to come with me then please come say hello tonight.
Mark |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
If you see a social on the forum, PM the organizer and get yourselves along.
It's just that - a social. It's like a works do. NO playing at all at the venue. Have a drink, chat, get to meet new people. Easy. |
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"Will be there myself first ever time at a social meet & as am from up North even more nervous but am sure will be fun.
Hopefully will get a conversation or if any single ladies like to come with me then please come say hello tonight.
Mark"
ul be fine we're a friendly bunch xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you see a social on the forum, PM the organizer and get yourselves along.
It's just that - a social. It's like a works do. NO playing at all at the venue. Have a drink, chat, get to meet new people. Easy. "
and a wee dance and sometimes cake |
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I would say...
...be sociable, be friendly, go towards people and don't always wait for others to come to you. Everyone gets a bit nervous, we are all in the same boat!
...go with the flow
...the doors are not locked. If you are not enjoying it, you can always excuse yourself to the organisers and leave.
...enjoy |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Are socials usually held in someone's house or are they held in a bar?
"
A social is usually in a separate part of a bar or function room to enable fabbers to chat without worrying about non-fabbers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are socials usually held in someone's house or are they held in a bar?
A social is usually in a separate part of a bar or function room to enable fabbers to chat without worrying about non-fabbers "
Even better then. I'll need to keep an eye open for some in the future then.
Thanks.  |
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I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play |
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"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play"
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John  |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John "
Exactly this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go enjoy yourself. There's no pressure or expectactions from anyone. It's a social icebreaker. Everyone is in the same position "
Nowt to do with this but well done Ivor for the best username I have seen! |
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"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John "
I don't agree with that, that line of thought is totally wrong ,why have nerves at all?, the reason why I started swinging is to avoid the childish behaviour of vanilla people, who cannot be straight forward about anything to do with sex. I find swingers to be more mature people who you can ask the straight question , would you like to play? If yes fine , if no fine, plus swingers don't need to be high to talk to you , swingers talk with a clear mind always,unlike vanilla people.
The social is the least of the swinging events where no play happens at the venue, so if a swinger cannot be confident to attend a social ,such a person should not be swinging at all and just stay in vanilla.
Some swingers don't attend socials and just go straight for the swingers parties and clubs as they feel it is a waste of their time.I like the socials because it lets me know who is around my area.
When it comes to the ladies, when I attend my party group, I see young girls in their twenties from Edinburgh who attend on their own, they drive down,book their own hotel, go into the club, select their playmates and play on their own, so I find it really really strange to see 20 year olds acting mature in a real swingers club and mature people in their late thirties and forties saying they have nerves to attend an ordinary social. |
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"After speaking to quite a few people going tomorrow night ,who haven't been to a drinks social before. We thought it would be useful for anyone to offer any advice to those who've never attended one.
Personally we would say just be yourselves and try and get to chat to everyone you're interested in getting to know . Relax and have a good time . Once you're there a short time you'll be wondering why you were even worrying in the 1st place. We felt the same when we started to go to them and sometimes still do, but it's good nerves.
See you there xx"
A joined fab song so a could but a was gonna say am shy am not really but am shy when it comes to going to one would love to find someone that has same as me and don't wanna go on my own so if any lady or a couple please friend does anyone have the same problem maybe we could help each other and go together please am??% genuine guy tanned fit down to earth guy so anyone fancy join please PM me or if anyone nose someone it would be appreciated seriously X Marky Mark x |
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"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John
I don't agree with that, that line of thought is totally wrong ,why have nerves at all?, the reason why I started swinging is to avoid the childish behaviour of vanilla people, who cannot be straight forward about anything to do with sex. I find swingers to be more mature people who you can ask the straight question , would you like to play? If yes fine , if no fine, plus swingers don't need to be high to talk to you , swingers talk with a clear mind always,unlike vanilla people.
The social is the least of the swinging events where no play happens at the venue, so if a swinger cannot be confident to attend a social ,such a person should not be swinging at all and just stay in vanilla.
Some swingers don't attend socials and just go straight for the swingers parties and clubs as they feel it is a waste of their time.I like the socials because it lets me know who is around my area.
When it comes to the ladies, when I attend my party group, I see young girls in their twenties from Edinburgh who attend on their own, they drive down,book their own hotel, go into the club, select their playmates and play on their own, so I find it really really strange to see 20 year olds acting mature in a real swingers club and mature people in their late thirties and forties saying they have nerves to attend an ordinary social."
I think for most its more an excited kind of nervous.
I was very nervous about last nights social because I kinda lost my confifence for a while & hadnt done a social for quite some time .
I was excited & nervous at the same time but as I knew once the guests arrived and I sat back watching everyone have a great the nervous soon settled too |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John
I don't agree with that, that line of thought is totally wrong ,why have nerves at all?, the reason why I started swinging is to avoid the childish behaviour of vanilla people, who cannot be straight forward about anything to do with sex. I find swingers to be more mature people who you can ask the straight question , would you like to play? If yes fine , if no fine, plus swingers don't need to be high to talk to you , swingers talk with a clear mind always,unlike vanilla people.
The social is the least of the swinging events where no play happens at the venue, so if a swinger cannot be confident to attend a social ,such a person should not be swinging at all and just stay in vanilla.
Some swingers don't attend socials and just go straight for the swingers parties and clubs as they feel it is a waste of their time.I like the socials because it lets me know who is around my area.
When it comes to the ladies, when I attend my party group, I see young girls in their twenties from Edinburgh who attend on their own, they drive down,book their own hotel, go into the club, select their playmates and play on their own, so I find it really really strange to see 20 year olds acting mature in a real swingers club and mature people in their late thirties and forties saying they have nerves to attend an ordinary social."
I'm not sure you understand why people say they get nervous. It may not affect you and that's fine. All that shows is that you have a more confident personality.
As for age, age is but a number. There are a million and one things that change people's outlooks and perceptions as they get older. Those who may have been the life and soul of the party at 21 may become shy and withdrawn at 45 and vice versa.
Nerves are a good thing in my view.
But it's how you deal with them that's important.
Never let them rule your life. Find a way to cope with them that works for you.
(Sorry, got a bit deep and preachy  . Cake for all ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i stopped getting nerves or pre meet butterflies. Id stop doing it.
Nerves are part of it. Ive been here 8+ years and still get nervous. Im not a shy person but when comes to meeting i can be at first  |
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"I really like socials but I don't understand why there would be any nerves going to socials, I can't understand it, if you can't attend socials without nerves how do you attend a swinges club and play
When you stop getting butterflies/nerves then it's time to hang up your boots
John
I don't agree with that, that line of thought is totally wrong ,why have nerves at all?, the reason why I started swinging is to avoid the childish behaviour of vanilla people, who cannot be straight forward about anything to do with sex. I find swingers to be more mature people who you can ask the straight question , would you like to play? If yes fine , if no fine, plus swingers don't need to be high to talk to you , swingers talk with a clear mind always,unlike vanilla people.
The social is the least of the swinging events where no play happens at the venue, so if a swinger cannot be confident to attend a social ,such a person should not be swinging at all and just stay in vanilla.
Some swingers don't attend socials and just go straight for the swingers parties and clubs as they feel it is a waste of their time.I like the socials because it lets me know who is around my area.
When it comes to the ladies, when I attend my party group, I see young girls in their twenties from Edinburgh who attend on their own, they drive down,book their own hotel, go into the club, select their playmates and play on their own, so I find it really really strange to see 20 year olds acting mature in a real swingers club and mature people in their late thirties and forties saying they have nerves to attend an ordinary social."
I am glad that you don't make the rules lol and glad that the swinging scene is not 'childish', is tolerant, open-minded and non-judgemental |
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Fair comments in my replies, it's not like am trying to make any rules , I am just stating what I noticed , there are too many vanilla people wearing the swinging cap and they really are just time wasters and wasting time for genuine people.
I would rather they stay in vanilla, swinging to me should be stress free, I don't want to talk to a lady when she is full of alcohol and I like the fact that swingers are really cool people.
Vanilla people like the swinging social events because the socials does not bring out the difference between vanilla and swingers but when you go to a swingers club you will see the difference between swingers and vanilla , believe me they are very different people.
Swinging is really not about age, as I noticed, the young girls in their twenties I met really impressed me, I liked the way they handled themselves, they said to me, we want to have fun and we don't want any guy disturbing us afterwards , so we started swinging, I was really impressed with them.
There is really no need to be nervous just relax and enjoy yourself.
I do understand that it takes time to develop and gain experience but you can take the confidence you learn from swinging and be better at your work , business and everyday life. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I'm still friends with people I met at one of Jac's socials 5 years ago!
They can be daunting and I did go with another newbie and we're still friends.
Hope to make the next one. Glad it was a success. |
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" I do understand that it takes time to develop and gain experience but you can take the confidence you learn from swinging and be better at your work , business and everyday life."
Really?? I think you misunderstand what people mean when they are saying that they are 'nervous'.
Not being confident in one area does not mean being not confident in other areas.
In my opinion, being 'nervous' when going to social/club is not a weakness and does not mean you are not confident either.
But we will just have to agree to disagree on this one
Have a good week-end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been to a few social nights, all by myself, I do have nerves but its a kinda excitement nerves although I never show it.
The Socials are a good laugh, sometimes you see someone you know, and have a chat and by then, I'm away chatting to anyone and everyone.
Its a brill night, every time. I'm gutted I had to pull out of the Dundee social after paying but sure someone will take my place and enjoy it
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