FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > name and shame
name and shame
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two sides to that coin
Yes for no shows if meet arranged
But no for I was named and shamed for a meet that I had no info about but the couple claimed to have txt me . Damages genuine guys like me tryin to get fun . |
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"Two sides to that coin
Yes for no shows if meet arranged
But no for I was named and shamed for a meet that I had no info about but the couple claimed to have txt me . Damages genuine guys like me tryin to get fun . "
could defo be open to abuse someone with gripe against someone for instance so not nice but not much you can do your word against theirs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True MissD. You were supportive when it happened with me ,did consider wrappin fab over it but glad I choose not to . Tho this couple still lurk and went unpunished . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definately no as it would be a tit for tat thing, too many different views on what a timewaster is as well, the only thing to do is block , delete and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe we could have something along the lines of reporting it to mods and if a name keeps popping up they might be able to contact/warn them or something along those lines.It would stop a free for all at least.Just a thought. |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"Maybe we could have something along the lines of reporting it to mods and if a name keeps popping up they might be able to contact/warn them or something along those lines.It would stop a free for all at least.Just a thought."
That function is already available through the "report" button; second from last option - "Arranged meet, did not turn up"  |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
Considering the amount of "he-said-she-said" stories that plague not just Fabs, but swinging as a whole, a public name-and-shame list would not work.
I myself have been a victim of some of these. Most recent one being supposedly getting a woman blind d*unk at a social (bearing in mind she and her husband are both older than me and have been swinging years before I started)... and I had never even been to the venue of the social... so who's to be believed?
It sadly won't work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mods don't deal with this admin do... Admin look at reports ppl send in... But they don't go on just one persons say so they look at multiple reports on that person/persons... |
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Theres far too much shit stirring goes on on fab that would make a public name-shame unworkable.
Example: You fall out with someone over something, you then badmouth them as being a timewaster and they get a bad name for it, would that be fair?
It would never work because of stuff like that which can and does go on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am torn on this one.I have had my time wasted on a few occasions but once there was a genuine mix up on where we were to meet.I was mad at the time and would have named and shamed the couple.We sorted things on the phone the next day and had some sucessful meetings ,I really dont know what the answer is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre  "
I wouldn't go to my local shopping centre to arrange a swinging meet any more than I'd come here to order stewing meat.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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shopping centres dont have chat rooms but fab does , this timewaster thing usually only happens to those who rush into meeting folks , cant say i have ever had a timewaster , take ur time its not a race , engage brain and get to know someone first and always socially , never disappointed that way. |
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"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre "
We example of how it wouldnt work :You arranged to meet me last nite at 8pm in Glasgow at such and such a hotel but you didnt turn up wasting my time and money on the hotel now I KNOW thats not ture YOU KNOW thats not true if i told others what would they believe? can you see how it wouldnt work and how it could be open to abuse to people who have a grip with you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have had your time wasted by someone, dont arrange to meet them again... simple as! Lets be really honestly, how many people on here care if you have been let down ... not that many. There are 101 reasons why someone has to cancel a meet, yes some reasons are better than others but they are THEIR reasons, nobody has to like them. Some folk class people as timewasters if they dont reply to a mail, others if they ask someone to meet and they say NO (I mean how dare they not fancy you and say no!!).
Why not just put it behind you and move on .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre "
it wont work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First of all you have to define a TIMEWASTER.........
1) Someone who chats to you on here for hours and tells all their fantasies and how you can fulfill them and then after a couple of hours says thanks but no thanks...
2) Someone you've chatted to, built up an online rapport and then arranged a meet only for them not to show..
3) Same as 1) and it turns out to be a single guy using a couple's profile.....
Who do you banme and who do you shame.....
Jacs is correct with the no show.. How infuriating is it when you go to a lot of bother for a meet, arrange a hotel etc at your cost and the person (s) do not show....Your out of pocket as well as having your time wasted....
If like me you have recently been made redundant this is a major pain in the arse...as well as the wallet....
Name and Shame does not work.... |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Although annoying, the "timewasters" are part and parcel of this kinda site.
Rather than "Name & Shame maybe have a system like EBay has, where you have positive/Negative feedback for planned meets ONLY.....
It would also give a chance to respond by the persons involved.
Ok Ok i know its a complicated set up to have but surely its better than a Name & Shame
Other than that then yes, we would say put the timewasters down to experience. We are not all here to make life annoying, and you will have plenty of fun in the long run.....Its deffo worth the effort on here
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although annoying, the "timewasters" are part and parcel of this kinda site.
Rather than "Name & Shame maybe have a system like EBay has, where you have positive/Negative feedback for planned meets ONLY.....
It would also give a chance to respond by the persons involved.
Ok Ok i know its a complicated set up to have but surely its better than a Name & Shame
Other than that then yes, we would say put the timewasters down to experience. We are not all here to make life annoying, and you will have plenty of fun in the long run.....Its deffo worth the effort on here
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All it takes is one legitimate cancellation from a couple, woman or guy and one impatient,quick to judge, peeved person to quickly shout timewaster!! And delve straight into pinging up some kind of negative feedback, then yer straight back to who to believe and indeed why should we know?
T  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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such a bad idea... like jands said leaves it open to abuse, also it only gives one side of the story, and everyone would get dragged into others disbutes
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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago
kirkcaldy |
have always been against this rule but after the past few days since one person has felt it ok to say things about me to others and actually naming and giving fone numbers out i am having a change of heart about it. does seem so far it doesn't apply to everyone after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it is bad rule don no why it keeps coming up about it,
if you have an issue with an user that are time waster or for whatever reason just report it privately |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
everyone is entitled to their opinion i suppose....even those with bad ideas LOL
I wasnt calling for a "Feedback system" i was just throwing it open to opinions.
Id rather things stayed as they are.... for good or bad.... you ll always have the timewasters, wherever you go online...... Jeez even Gum Tree has them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first instinct was to say yes . This place is full of them , but so is rest of the web. The dedicated tranny pick up sites are many times worse than here where the majority of people are genuine.
However every so often you do run into weirdos. I meet people every week , both regulars and newbies. My verifications show only a small percentage of my activity, yet I managed to run foul of a complete creep who called me one. We had discussed him attending one of my bi weekly meets with guys, but my instincts told me to drop him so I did. He was never invited yet travelled to Perth and not knowing where to come bombarded my phone with messages. So the bugger ends up calling me a time waster, despite fact I am spending the afternoon with 5 other members here!
If we had a name and shame list any of us genuine people could end up on it. Do what I do, if they dont show and dont get in touch with good explanation simply block. Then move on to the genuine ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is easy to get negative on a free site such as fab. However there is enough nice, decent genuine people on this site to balance out the wasters. Just ignore them and move on (Sometimes easier said than done I know!!!)
C xx |
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By *nT OP Couple
over a year ago
funland |
thanks for all the opinions on this thorny issue - greatly appreciated folks. being honest it isnt a huge issue for us these days and only get caught out with the no showers on very rare occassions - we normally manage to suss them out way before we ever get to arranging a meet lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My first instinct was to say yes . This place is full of them , but so is rest of the web. The dedicated tranny pick up sites are many times worse than here where the majority of people are genuine.
However every so often you do run into weirdos. I meet people every week , both regulars and newbies. My verifications show only a small percentage of my activity, yet I managed to run foul of a complete creep who called me one. We had discussed him attending one of my bi weekly meets with guys, but my instincts told me to drop him so I did. He was never invited yet travelled to Perth and not knowing where to come bombarded my phone with messages. So the bugger ends up calling me a time waster, despite fact I am spending the afternoon with 5 other members here!
If we had a name and shame list any of us genuine people could end up on it. Do what I do, if they dont show and dont get in touch with good explanation simply block. Then move on to the genuine ones. "
+1 |
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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago
more north lincs than mids! |
"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem. "
we aren't photo verified and have no intention of doing so. Does this make us less genuine than those who are? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem. "
Peter Tobin could click on here, join, get a cell mate to take a pic, hold up his wee card and get photo verified if he wanted, whats the big plus/comfort in photo verified? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever! |
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By *TUNNAWoman
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!"
takes all kinds xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!"
then simpley block the newbies if thats what yer applying to
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!"
Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well that’s the problem we don’t know do we. And many others won’t know will they? You can get someone else to verify you but that means nothing at all. Time after time in chat we get single men pretending to be single women or couples. They are there day after day when it is clearly obvious they are not who they say they are. Now they can’t be banned because there is no evidence as such yet they don’t need to provide evidence to back up who they say they are. So the only people being protected are those who are guilty. There must be a reason why the site wants as many people as possible no matter who or what they say they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And how many single men know a female or a couple that will do that for them?
The site sets up a system and people dont use it. Ok if it dosent work why not get rid of it altogether. We also know normal verifications dont work so we might as well get rid of them as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Certainly thats the downtime, checking, cross checking people add up to being the real thing.
Thats why, certainly in my case, the profiles a bit of an open book, verifications are up there for that simple reason, it endorses the fact i meet, i dont rely on simply the verified green tick, thats a whole other thread, the all verifications hidden thing is either folks being very discreet about who they meet, met or know.
If your a single guy and got yourself a "genuine" and "reliable" reputation on here and dont feel the need to display a single verification, well done.
Whenever a new verification goes up, you can guarantee an up in folks lookin you up, 90% of those who do that usually are my fellow solo male with that idle curiosity.
Some are'nt idle, hell no, some look them up coincidently if its someone they have met too, then they go all detective, usually on the 20 questions tack to who you met, "what dyou meet him for?" "Does that mean yer lookin for more meets then"? etc etc etc.
And its meant to be fun? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!
Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with
S. "
+ 1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does wonders to the swinging confidence meeting "fussy", or "picky",but part of acheiving that is not calling them timewasters and fantasists, wee nugget there,hope it helps,lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!
Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with
S.
+ 1"
+2 xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!
Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with
S. "
Maybe you don't have a clue how many times woman on here muck guys about? All i'm saying is it's not just guys who are timewasters.
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By *nT OP Couple
over a year ago
funland |
as a couple who do meet single guys i am sure you are right steve and it is worse for yourselves as just so many guys out there to choose from. still doesnt make it right to pretend u r going to meet. we always tell a guy if we aint interested. other side of that coin is that we are told by some "who do we think we are". always going to be folk who suffer, be it couples, single guys or girls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!"
Just the sweeping generalisation of this kinda has me curious.
If folks are good enough to take the time out to explain why they cant meet,nothing timewaster like about that.
offt, dyou know wat, we been here n said all this again and again, then it turns into, "whats your idea of a timewaster etc", people are free to cancel,postpone, if your utterly misslead and leaft standing at meet point with a "no-show",thats my idea of being timewasted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem.
we aren't photo verified and have no intention of doing so. Does this make us less genuine than those who are?"
im not photo verified either, nor do i intend to be. I am real, and not a timewaster, although people do seem to take pleasure in wasting my time at the moment. |
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