FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Dating v swinging
Dating v swinging
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By *alcon43 OP Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Bit of a rant. Just because I'm on Fab doesn't exclude me from dating. So why is it guys leave saying they'd rather date but don't think of asking if that's something I'd consider?
Just a bit pissed off that it doesn't cross their minds to ask. They may be pleasantly surprised.
Anyone else come across this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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probably deep down they are trying to feed you bullshit, as to come off fab and date them, because if you are meeting via fab and dating, then they aren't really getting exclusivity.
trust me, a lot of guys use this shit...sadly a lot of women fall for it. |
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Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C "
you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
"I'd only date someone who isn't on or is willing to come off fab"
I agree if I were not married and wanted to date I wouldn't be on FAB looking, I see this as a sex site. If people meet on here and start dating great good on them.
I know people use this site for different reasons and again great but primarily it is a swinging site, not a dating site nor a chat site.
Tx |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity"
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd only date someone who isn't on or is willing to come off fab"
dating is dating..it's not an exclusive thing in my opinion,most people wont come off a dating site because they are dating(in its truest sense its going for a few dinners etc and probably shouldnt be sexual)
*saying that I've shagged many on a first date(years ago on the other dating sites...not so lucky to even get a date nowadays than I am in getting a shag on here)
when it comes to the point you decide to commit to something then thats when you can come off a site if you think thats what each other wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd only date someone who isn't on or is willing to come off fab
Really? Even if you both met on fab? There are lots of couples that met on fab & are still on the site together.
R  "
of course...some dont like seeing their partner getting shagged..but will shag other peoples partners(thats not exclusively a male thing either) |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are."
your definition of poly and others may be diffrent was more what I was meaning |
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We weren't looking for a relationship but found it on fab.
It does happen but I get what you mean OP lots of guys think they wouldn't date someone off fab & go join plenty of fish which is just full of fab people lol
L x |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
your definition of poly and others may be diffrent was more what I was meaning "
A poly relationship to me is having more than one partner. Is there another definition I don't know about? |
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"I've tried dating on other sites and to be honest they're full of folk from fab!
Its a complicated web we weave with relationships."
You are right ! It's so funny how many guys asked me out on one of the dating sites and they also send me message on here ( not knowing it's me ) asking to take me on a date .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make no secret about what I want. I couldn't go back to vanilla dating either tho so I'm kinda hanging about on here hoping somebody fancies wine, dine and 69 lol.
The panda sex and instashaggers are so boring that I couldn't be bothered shaving my fanny for either.
Not saying I don't have random meets but I'm much more likely to meet with guys I've been chatting with for a while. If they happen to bring a bottle of wine etc all the better!! |
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"I'd only date someone who isn't on or is willing to come off fab
Really? Even if you both met on fab? There are lots of couples that met on fab & are still on the site together.
R "
I'd expect us both to leave fab |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I'm not looking to date as I don't have the time to devote to it.
That being said, I would never rule it out and feel lucky that I have some awesome friends I can share time with.
But IF I met someone on here and we decided to make a go of a full on relationship it would only be after lots of discussions and by mutual acceptance of each other's ideas and wants otherwise what would be the point? I certainly wouldn't demand she instantly leave fab if she wanted to continue.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd only date someone who isn't on or is willing to come off fab"
if I was dating I would only date them if we both came off fab
Give the relationship a chance at the beginning then once we both trusted and knew each other then maybe after a few yrs come back on |
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"I've tried dating on other sites and to be honest they're full of folk from fab!
Its a complicated web we weave with relationships."
Totally agree with this. I too have had the same guys message me on both without knowing I have had a fab account.
I also had a guy from a couple message me on a 'dating' site asking if I wanted to join them ..... I suggested he might have more success on a different site, without mentioning which
R |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
If I was single and dating I would come off fab and expect them to do the same. I'd just take time getting to know each other and enjoying our company. The excitment of a new relationship should be more than enough in itself without adding others into the mix. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh isn't everyone so modern in they're thinking...me I'm old school"
might be old school...but you are interested in shagging other guys partners..but if you had your own, you wouldnt let them be shagged on fab.Sometimes this is why couples dislike single guys I guess.
I've had two (proper) relationships from fab(the live together kind), my ex's kinda had the same viewpoint as you..part of the reasons why I left the scene, then eventually them. |
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"If I was single and dating I would come off fab and expect them to do the same. I'd just take time getting to know each other and enjoying our company. The excitment of a new relationship should be more than enough in itself without adding others into the mix. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh isn't everyone so modern in they're thinking...me I'm old school
might be old school...but you are interested in shagging other guys partners..but if you had your own, you wouldnt let them be shagged on fab.Sometimes this is why couples dislike single guys I guess.
I've had two (proper) relationships from fab(the live together kind), my ex's kinda had the same viewpoint as you..part of the reasons why I left the scene, then eventually them."
meant to add, as I enjoy the scene too..I would have been happy just being a social couple(as they werent too happy when it came to the sex side of things(a sort of controlling jealousy and some hypocrisy from them..which eventually nailed it for me)(even while off the scene) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I once spoke to a guy on here that messaged me and he said if he had a wife he wouldn't "let" her meet other guys
Oh right..but it's OK to meet other guys wives??
Pass  |
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By *SPrincessWoman
over a year ago
Nowhere near you |
"Although I once spoke to a guy on here that messaged me and he said if he had a wife he wouldn't "let" her meet other guys
Oh right..but it's OK to meet other guys wives??
Pass "
Yes when I had a couples profile I've met men on my own who said "I would never share you" like it's some kind of compliment when really it's a massive insult to my relationship and completely hypocritical |
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Oops don't want banned again! FYI I'm not meeting anyone anymore,this sight is pish now,5yrs of banging n bonking thru lies,2faced fk ups,egomaniacs n the self righteous..truth be told,if I was walking down the street I wouldn't give most a 2nd glance but they think they're special on here...eh naw yr no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oops don't want banned again! FYI I'm not meeting anyone anymore,this sight is pish now,5yrs of banging n bonking thru lies,2faced fk ups,egomaniacs n the self righteous..truth be told,if I was walking down the street I wouldn't give most a 2nd glance but they think they're special on here...eh naw yr no"
thats why am no afraid to punch above my perceived weight 
if I get shagged or dont get shagged..its not that much of a deal..in the grand scheme of things.. |
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"Oops don't want banned again! FYI I'm not meeting anyone anymore,this sight is pish now,5yrs of banging n bonking thru lies,2faced fk ups,egomaniacs n the self righteous..truth be told,if I was walking down the street I wouldn't give most a 2nd glance but they think they're special on here...eh naw yr no
thats why am no afraid to punch above my perceived weight
if I get shagged or dont get shagged..its not that much of a deal..in the grand scheme of things.."
and good luck to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oops don't want banned again! FYI I'm not meeting anyone anymore,this sight is pish now,5yrs of banging n bonking thru lies,2faced fk ups,egomaniacs n the self righteous..truth be told,if I was walking down the street I wouldn't give most a 2nd glance but they think they're special on here...eh naw yr no
thats why am no afraid to punch above my perceived weight
if I get shagged or dont get shagged..its not that much of a deal..in the grand scheme of things.."
agreed paddy...if I meet someone it's because I really fancy the pants off them...not just because I can.
Sadly too any men on here think if you ask you should
Yes it's a sex site but please...some of us have got standards ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oops don't want banned again! FYI I'm not meeting anyone anymore,this sight is pish now,5yrs of banging n bonking thru lies,2faced fk ups,egomaniacs n the self righteous..truth be told,if I was walking down the street I wouldn't give most a 2nd glance but they think they're special on here...eh naw yr no
thats why am no afraid to punch above my perceived weight
if I get shagged or dont get shagged..its not that much of a deal..in the grand scheme of things..agreed paddy...if I meet someone it's because I really fancy the pants off them...not just because I can.
Sadly too any men on here think if you ask you should
Yes it's a sex site but please...some of us have got standards !"
well...yer nearly 70 now I've heard...hope you drop those standards and knickers...or is that incontinence pad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually have met guys from fab that I wish I had met in another walk of life as I honestly feel that their judgement is coloured through meeting me as a fabber. Shame but that is how I feel. I think many guys lack respect for fab ladies. |
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Good topic, in my experience of trying to date from fab I found myself wanting to blame fab but really it was issues with me just not really feeling with the person in question. I think it could work if you both want it bad enough, but one or both will likely use fab like a get outta jail card when really you maybe just wern't feeling it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are."
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship? |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?"
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've tried dating on other sites and to be honest they're full of folk from fab!
Its a complicated web we weave with relationships."
A Weapon of Fab Distraction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although I once spoke to a guy on here that messaged me and he said if he had a wife he wouldn't "let" her meet other guys
Oh right..but it's OK to meet other guys wives??
Pass
Very True
Moral compasses askew
Yes when I had a couples profile I've met men on my own who said "I would never share you" like it's some kind of compliment when really it's a massive insult to my relationship and completely hypocritical "
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input "
exactly.. Dating is totally different from random fab fkn |
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By *alcon43 OP Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx"
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them. |
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"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them. "
The sad thing is, they might be thinking the same thing. |
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By *alcon43 OP Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I actually have met guys from fab that I wish I had met in another walk of life as I honestly feel that their judgement is coloured through meeting me as a fabber. Shame but that is how I feel. I think many guys lack respect for fab ladies."
I agree with you. It's ok for them to be on it but not us. It shouldn't matter how you meet. |
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By *alcon43 OP Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them.
The sad thing is, they might be thinking the same thing. "
Very true. Neither wanting to take the first step. |
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"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them.
The sad thing is, they might be thinking the same thing.
Very true. Neither wanting to take the first step."
Exactly. I don't know about anyone else but I think i regret things I've NOT done more than regretting things I have done. So next time the situation arises maybe you should go for it  |
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By *alcon43 OP Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them.
The sad thing is, they might be thinking the same thing.
Very true. Neither wanting to take the first step.
Exactly. I don't know about anyone else but I think i regret things I've NOT done more than regretting things I have done. So next time the situation arises maybe you should go for it "
A leap of faith, a big dose of self confidence and a shield to protect my feelings if it goes pearshaped. Makes it sound easy lol |
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"Y dnt you ask them instead of waiting on them if you like sum1 on here just ask them out dnt wait on them xx
Lots of reasons. Don't want to embarrass myself if they say no, fear of rejection and may spoil the friendship I may have with them.
The sad thing is, they might be thinking the same thing.
Very true. Neither wanting to take the first step.
Exactly. I don't know about anyone else but I think i regret things I've NOT done more than regretting things I have done. So next time the situation arises maybe you should go for it
A leap of faith, a big dose of self confidence and a shield to protect my feelings if it goes pearshaped. Makes it sound easy lol"
C always has the view that life is too short for regretting things you haven't done, and I agree with him but I'm still too nervous sometimes to make the first move! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually have met guys from fab that I wish I had met in another walk of life as I honestly feel that their judgement is coloured through meeting me as a fabber. Shame but that is how I feel. I think many guys lack respect for fab ladies.
I agree with you. It's ok for them to be on it but not us. It shouldn't matter how you meet. "
So so true. I actually had a guy I met on fab who told me ruefully on our meet that he wished we had met in another walk of life. He hadn't had many meets but had obviously had his own views of fab ladies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input "
You brought up polyamory. You stated further up your definition of polyamory is seeing more than one person and asked if there was another definition. You got an answer you didn't like and suddenly it's back to "this is a thread about dating"?? Polyamory is a very misunderstood and often maligned concept. "consensual non-monogamy" requires that all parties know and accept each other. I believe people confusing polyamory with plain old cheating adds to the general distrust and non-acceptance of polyamory in our society. Same with swinging I suppose. |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input
You brought up polyamory. You stated further up your definition of polyamory is seeing more than one person and asked if there was another definition. You got an answer you didn't like and suddenly it's back to "this is a thread about dating"?? Polyamory is a very misunderstood and often maligned concept. "consensual non-monogamy" requires that all parties know and accept each other. I believe people confusing polyamory with plain old cheating adds to the general distrust and non-acceptance of polyamory in our society. Same with swinging I suppose. "
I thought it went without saying that everyone involved would be aware and happy with a poly relationship, that is my understanding of it. I did say that any other person I started dating would need to be happy with it.
You were the one who mentioned C's ex-wife, thereby making it sound like you were having a dig at cheaters for no apparent reason.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input
You brought up polyamory. You stated further up your definition of polyamory is seeing more than one person and asked if there was another definition. You got an answer you didn't like and suddenly it's back to "this is a thread about dating"?? Polyamory is a very misunderstood and often maligned concept. "consensual non-monogamy" requires that all parties know and accept each other. I believe people confusing polyamory with plain old cheating adds to the general distrust and non-acceptance of polyamory in our society. Same with swinging I suppose.
I thought it went without saying that everyone involved would be aware and happy with a poly relationship, that is my understanding of it. I did say that any other person I started dating would need to be happy with it.
You were the one who mentioned C's ex-wife, thereby making it sound like you were having a dig at cheaters for no apparent reason.
"
You have talked about wanting a poly relationship on these forums many times while your profile stated C was married. Pointing out that this is not Polyamory is not a dig at cheaters. Nor a personal dig I have done the "married man" thing myself. It's just my opinion on what polyamory actually is, and isn't. Multiple partners who are cheating is not polyamory. It's having your cake and eating it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've tried dating on other sites and to be honest they're full of folk from fab!
Its a complicated web we weave with relationships."
We Humans are fickle. We want our cake and to eat it. Which isn't always possible at some point jealously rears up. But if you both enjoy sex why stop what started a relationship?? |
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"Funny story - I met a guy at the Aberdeen club on our first visit and he tracked me down on here a couple of days later to ask me on a date. We went out the following week and one of the first things he asked was if we worked out would I dump C you probably wont like this but why should someone you say you want to be with accept another who he wants nothing to do with put constraints on what would be his relationship. Without knowing the full facts. The poly angle sounds right but requires all partys to know and accept all other partys. As an example if the new guy felt their was hidden agendas and people is he not right to want that cut out of his relationship. No offence intended just a curiousity
That's what I said - that they would need to be accepting of a poly relationship, which not many people are.
From what I understand of Poly relationships it means all are aware and accepting of each others partners. Would C's wife agree to a poly relationship?
You mean his ex-wife. And this is a thread about dating v swinging, not about cheating. But thanks for your input
You brought up polyamory. You stated further up your definition of polyamory is seeing more than one person and asked if there was another definition. You got an answer you didn't like and suddenly it's back to "this is a thread about dating"?? Polyamory is a very misunderstood and often maligned concept. "consensual non-monogamy" requires that all parties know and accept each other. I believe people confusing polyamory with plain old cheating adds to the general distrust and non-acceptance of polyamory in our society. Same with swinging I suppose.
I thought it went without saying that everyone involved would be aware and happy with a poly relationship, that is my understanding of it. I did say that any other person I started dating would need to be happy with it.
You were the one who mentioned C's ex-wife, thereby making it sound like you were having a dig at cheaters for no apparent reason.
You have talked about wanting a poly relationship on these forums many times while your profile stated C was married. Pointing out that this is not Polyamory is not a dig at cheaters. Nor a personal dig I have done the "married man" thing myself. It's just my opinion on what polyamory actually is, and isn't. Multiple partners who are cheating is not polyamory. It's having your cake and eating it."
Not many, a couple of times I've said its interested me in theory, in practice I imagine it's rather difficult to find the right people and circumstances. I don't know if she's still around but I found
Wasp Hunter's experiences to be very interesting.
I've never considered cheating to be the same as polyamory, I don't believe I've ever said that. Hope that clears it up. |
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