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Gallantry / Chivalry
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Just had an interesting discussion with my teenager about this.
The etiquette says that the man should enter a restaurant first etc...
Don't ask me how we started speaking about that on a Friday morning lol
Is Gallantry/Chivalry still alive? or slowly dying?
Ladies, do you like a gentleman?
Are the etiquettes changing?
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Manners and etiquette are both evolving sometimes not in a good way . I think when I'm not Stephanie I open hold doors for whoever is behind in a restaraunt I sit down last though don't think I'd cover a muddy puddle with my jacket or coat . |
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A man enters first ?
Wouldnt dream of it , hold the door open and usher your lady in surely ? Perhaps take the lead in regards to getting seated but wouldnt walk in first .
Gallantry and chivalry are dodgy ground in these times with all you strong independent modern woman and things can often be taken the wrong way . Generally i just try to apply common courtesy and manners . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spent a lot of time when I was growing up with my grandfather who was an absolute old fashioned gent!
I learned a lot from him and try to stick with these days.
Always hold the door, always be polite, respect elders. I even still doff an imaginary hat to passing funerals!
I wish there was more gentlemanly behaviour in today's society but alas!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 2 sons and always tell them about manners...giving up a seat to someone older or never butting into a conversation ect...
Always say...manners cost nothing so give it out freely  |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
I'm not sure about that, my husband no matter where we go holds the door open for me to go in first. He has carried me over puddles/cobbles and we have taught our boys that their future girlfriends/wives should be treated the way in which they expect their Mum/sisters to be treated. xx |
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"A man enters first ?
Wouldnt dream of it , hold the door open and usher your lady in surely ? "
And that was one of our discussion point.
A man should open and hold door let the lady go first but when it comes to restaurants for instance the man enters first as he is expected to ask regarding table etc...
Told him he has to be quick on his feet!
Confusing that stuff for a teenager lol  |
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I have 2 sons and always tell them about manners...giving up a seat to someone older or never butting into a conversation ect...
Always say...manners cost nothing so give it out freely "
Same here |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
Surely it's ladies first
Holding doors is second nature..even for a guy 5 paces behind. I've been told that my kids have learnt the good manners but I'd like to think it wasn't just down to my example.
But here's one...if you walk into a shopping centre for example and there is someone behind you, how long do you hold the door for?
If they are 2-3 paces behind then it takes a mere second or two. If they're 10 paces behind are you still expected to hold it? And is the answer different if it's an elderly or disabled person or even a pregnant lady?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say if I was way behind someone I wouldn't expect someone to stand and wait for me as I wouldn't myself
Disabled diffrent story...pregnant mum no...she's pregnant..not ill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had an interesting discussion with my teenager about this.
The etiquette says that the man should enter a restaurant first etc...
Don't ask me how we started speaking about that on a Friday morning lol
Is Gallantry/Chivalry still alive? or slowly dying?
Ladies, do you like a gentleman?
Are the etiquettes changing?
"
We now have to be mindful of equality and not behave in a manner that may offend or infringe on a females rights. Mind field for us guys these days. Dammed if you do dammed if you don't lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I travel a lot for my work to many different countries and cultures,I find that most other countries have not let there manners diminish in the way that our homelands have. Manners are the mark of a nation and often how it is viewed by others. It also has to be said that manners are not just for the male of the species, laddies require manners as well. All this being said cyber manners are also often disregarded on the site by both sexes much to the dismay of the few of us who do display manners and respect for site users. Rant over now. |
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Manners and chivalry go a long way. C holds doors open for me, pulls out my chair, he insists on walking on the outside of the pavement too. He always offers me his arm or takes my hand when we're walking |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Manners and chivalry go a long way. C holds doors open for me, pulls out my chair, he insists on walking on the outside of the pavement too. He always offers me his arm or takes my hand when we're walking "
I do the same but never thought of it as chivalrous. But seeing it in your post, it is obvious  |
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"I have 2 sons and always tell them about manners...giving up a seat to someone older or never butting into a conversation ect...
Always say...manners cost nothing so give it out freely
Same here"
Sadly this reminds me of a situation that happened when I was 8 months pregnant. Was on the bus and was it was full. I had a seat and watched as a very elderly lady got on and not one person offered a seat !! I got up and gave her mine as just no way I was going to allow her to stand. Just disgusted at the total lack of any concern from anyone else . Looses faith in ppl a bit . |
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Surely it's ladies first
Holding doors is second nature..even for a guy 5 paces behind. I've been told that my kids have learnt the good manners but I'd like to think it wasn't just down to my example.
But here's one...if you walk into a shopping centre for example and there is someone behind you, how long do you hold the door for?
If they are 2-3 paces behind then it takes a mere second or two. If they're 10 paces behind are you still expected to hold it? And is the answer different if it's an elderly or disabled person or even a pregnant lady? "
I have had a few occasions when I had to walk faster almost slow run because I didn't want the person to hold it for ages lol
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I have 3 sons and I have made sure they all know how to gents. They don't have a male role model in their lives,however all of them have good manners,hold open doors, respect for elders,women and indeed everyone. They also all know the importance of romance and sunsets.
I've read them all fairy tales, watched countless disney films and rom coms and they will be the types of men that anyone will be lucky to have.
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"Surely it's ladies first
Holding doors is second nature..even for a guy 5 paces behind. I've been told that my kids have learnt the good manners but I'd like to think it wasn't just down to my example.
But here's one...if you walk into a shopping centre for example and there is someone behind you, how long do you hold the door for?
If they are 2-3 paces behind then it takes a mere second or two. If they're 10 paces behind are you still expected to hold it? And is the answer different if it's an elderly or disabled person or even a pregnant lady?
I have had a few occasions when I had to walk faster almost slow run because I didn't want the person to hold it for ages lol
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We do that in the hope to see the boobies jiggling |
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Good manners cost nothing. My ex and I have ensured our kids are very well mannered, please, thank you, may I even to the point when my son when he quietly burps always say pardon me. It's the cutest thing lol |
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"It's nice to see good manners, but unfortunately there's not alot of folk have it these days."
People say that we are less well mannered than our elders. I hold doors/get out the way ect regardless of sex or age. Older women are the most ignorant. Rarely acknowledge or even look in my direction. We're too harsh on the weans sometimes. |
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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
"Manners and chivalry go a long way. C holds doors open for me, pulls out my chair, he insists on walking on the outside of the pavement too. He always offers me his arm or takes my hand when we're walking "
I was complemented on the fact that I always walked on the outside of the pavement, she said it was a nice surprise!
But being the first through a restaurant door is an interesting one, because I can see the logic in that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Traditionally men would enter a bar first, just in case there was a fight going on and his companion needed protecting. That's probably a bit unnecessary these days though...most of the time!
'After you' applies in real life as basic courtesy, and in Fab related matters as well! |
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Strange but true remembered this from school there was no chivalric code.it was more a moral compass an unspoken rule.
the first mention of the code of chivalry was in "the song of roland"
To fear God and maintain His ChurchTo serve the liege lord in valour and faithTo protect the weak and defencelessTo give succour to widows and orphansTo live by honour and for gloryTo despise pecuniary rewardTo obey those placed in authorityTo guard the honour of fellow knightsTo eschew unfairness, meanness and deceitTo keep faithAt all times to speak the truthTo persevere to the end in any enterprise begunTo respect the honour of womenNever to turn the back upon a foe
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im old school. Always walk on roadside of pavement with lady safe beside. Stand on public transport. Open doors. Pull chair out for lady to sit.and on and on. The list is endless. But being my age thats the way we were brought up. Its different now. Sadly.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find your blog an interesting observation. Im glad that your son has an idea of being a gentleman. You obviously taught him well, I was brought up in a middle class lifestyle (not my parents) that allowed me to learn the ways of etticate and gentlemanly manners. I still stand when a lady wishes to leave the restaurant table,I always will be courteous regardless of opinions. I believe a person will go one of two ways on this, like most things..With what they know or against what they know. That's why I think it's imperative as a an adult to teach such traits and manners, after all...They cost nothing!. I don't believe the principal has disappeared however some of the details have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had an interesting discussion with my teenager about this.
The etiquette says that the man should enter a restaurant first etc...
Don't ask me how we started speaking about that on a
Is Gallantry/Chivalry still alive? or slowly dying?
Ladies, do you like a gentleman?
Are the etiquettes changing?
"
Can't enter first if he's holding the door |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
"My question is on a first date is it 50/50 or the man/woman pays?"
50/50 Personally from me, don't want anyone paying for me and if they insisted then I would insist the next was on me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of the most important is always compliment her on her looks.
Not just a "oh you look beautiful" pin point a specific
"Wow your eyes look amazing"
Ete etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the most important is always compliment her on her looks.
Not just a "oh you look beautiful" pin point a specific
"Wow your eyes look amazing"
Ete etc "
I'd find that a bit ott and completely unnecessary tbh |
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"My question is on a first date is it 50/50 or the man/woman pays?"
Spoke about that with my son too lol
I told him to offer to pay in full in the first date but be aware that sometimes the girl might prefer a 50/50. Told him he can offer she pays the next time or he pays for the meal, she pays for the movie.
Personally, I feel uncomfortable a man paying for me, so it's always 50/50 or I offer to pay for the next drink or next meal if I know I am going to see him again
It would be interesting to see what parents say to their daughters?
If I had a daughter I would certainly say to her to pay her own way/50-50. |
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By *awty Max OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"One of the most important is always compliment her on her looks.
Not just a "oh you look beautiful" pin point a specific
"Wow your eyes look amazing"
Ete etc
I'd find that a bit ott and completely unnecessary tbh"
One or two compliments are ok.
Personally, the best compliment is when you see the spark in the guy's eyes when he's looking at you!
I know! Am a softy lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never heard of the entering a restaurant first
Always hold doors regardless of who is behind me or who I'm with
Abhor bad manners of any kind and yes elderly women are the worst. I feel they demand and expect respect because they are women of a certain generation. Many are just ignorant bitches.
On a first meet I usually pay 100% and yes it is refreshing when a lady offers to share costs. If I have the disposable cash I do insist on covering costs
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