FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Does someone being critically ill put you off people
Does someone being critically ill put you off people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just looking for feedback, im having a great time of it talking to many people everyday but then they ask what i do for work and i tell them i dont work cos i nearly died last year and ive had brain surgery 4 times in the last year then they ask if im ok now i say yeah but theres no cure and boom they freak out and walk away 
Am i doing something wrong? 
Id rather be honest than lie about the fact al soon be totally dependant in a few year before the big man comes calling haha!
Sorry its a bit doom but i just want feedback on what i should do haha |
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Hmm, I'm always reluctant to say what I do for a living as frankly it's no one else's business. However I can see why you feel that explaining your situation is important.
I don't think it would put me off someone, but I would feel more comfortable knowing all the facts in case of a problem during the meet, if that makes sense?
Perhaps if you don't want to explain your circumstances, then just say what field you used to work in. For example, 'I'm a secretary' covers a lot of areas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh at least your letting folk know what's going on so that,as has been said by a previous poster,if you should take not well or have to cancel at short notice,they know your not wasting folks time.
Best of luck to you fella and at least your having a good time currently  |
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Just be yourself!
If you feel you have to give details do, if you don't feel like it don't.
Sometimes you don't feel like giving the whole story to some people and I think you don't have to feel you 'have to'.
I don't think it would put me off someone but like V said I would like to know if something does happen during the meet.
Also, may be it is something you might want to discuss during a social meet, face to face.
If some people are put off, shrug your shoulders and click on the next profile!
You will have more fun with someone who sees past your illness.
Saying that, I am not judging those who are put off, we don't know others perso circumstances.
Hope I make sense.
Have fun OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My thoughts on this are that you a very brave and confident young man whose life experience has given him a unique outlook and the spirit to live his live fully and fight whatever it throws at him with resiliance and humour (that'll be the Oirsh in you and you have a lovely smile btw )
However not everyone has had this experience in life and so perhaps don't know how to react to your refreshing frankness and honest approach... also obviously this brings some pretty serious topics to the table and many are here for a much lighter experience.
Maybe they even have similar issues at home to deal with and this place is somewhere they can get away from lifes realities for a while.
I'm not saying you aren't fun or not seeking that too but yes I imagine some might find it difficult to know how to react to your situation.
I think it's great that you are so open and honest and I wish you good luck here and in real life too.
 xXx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For want of a better phrase, this is a bit of a funny one. On one hand, some forum users want co olete honesty from people, some don't really care.
I find it quite admirable that you are so frank and honest about what the future holds for you & although it likely won't be a tag you're looking for, incredibly brave. Rather than giving in, you're getting out there and grabbing life by the balls.
I think that people maybe aren't so much put off, more that they really don't quite know how to react to your life situation? I hope this makes sense, putting thoughts I to words isn't my string point!! 
Hope you find the fulfillment you're looking for  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To answer your question OP it would put me off meeting, but as others have said, the honest approach goes a long way if there is an aspect of yourself that may potentially throw someone you were gonna meet. I'd much rather know beforehand |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just be yourself!
If you feel you have to give details do, if you don't feel like it don't.
Sometimes you don't feel like giving the whole story to some people and I think you don't have to feel you 'have to'.
I don't think it would put me off someone but like V said I would like to know if something does happen during the meet.
Also, may be it is something you might want to discuss during a social meet, face to face.
If some people are put off, shrug your shoulders and click on the next profile!
You will have more fun with someone who sees past your illness.
Saying that, I am not judging those who are put off, we don't know others perso circumstances.
Hope I make sense.
Have fun OP "
I appreciate the feedback! Ive always thought honesty is the best policy so thats why i take this approach haha its not just on here its everyday life meeting new people lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At least trying to enjoy yourself bud. good on ya for fighting on "
Life goes on no matter what haha need to grab it with both hands cheers for the feedback |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For want of a better phrase, this is a bit of a funny one. On one hand, some forum users want co olete honesty from people, some don't really care.
I find it quite admirable that you are so frank and honest about what the future holds for you & although it likely won't be a tag you're looking for, incredibly brave. Rather than giving in, you're getting out there and grabbing life by the balls.
I think that people maybe aren't so much put off, more that they really don't quite know how to react to your life situation? I hope this makes sense, putting thoughts I to words isn't my string point!!
Hope you find the fulfillment you're looking for "
Haha no i understand it completely  i get what you mean lol cheers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My thoughts on this are that you a very brave and confident young man whose life experience has given him a unique outlook and the spirit to live his live fully and fight whatever it throws at him with resiliance and humour (that'll be the Oirsh in you and you have a lovely smile btw )
However not everyone has had this experience in life and so perhaps don't know how to react to your refreshing frankness and honest approach... also obviously this brings some pretty serious topics to the table and many are here for a much lighter experience.
Maybe they even have similar issues at home to deal with and this place is somewhere they can get away from lifes realities for a while.
I'm not saying you aren't fun or not seeking that too but yes I imagine some might find it difficult to know how to react to your situation.
I think it's great that you are so open and honest and I wish you good luck here and in real life too.
xXx"
I get you thank yaa for the nice comments lol
May aswell enjoy life while i can rather than be so doom n gloom about it. Dont want folk not heing able to remember me for that so thats why i try stay positive as hard as it is xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're welcome... as the old saying goes... if I was twenty years younger... I WOULD  lol
"
Haha! Why would ya need to be 20 years younger
Plenty fuel in the tank yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're welcome... as the old saying goes... if I was twenty years younger... I WOULD lol
Haha! Why would ya need to be 20 years younger
Plenty fuel in the tank yet "
lol I have a son your age... so... just naw lol but thanks for the compliment kind sir |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're welcome... as the old saying goes... if I was twenty years younger... I WOULD lol
Haha! Why would ya need to be 20 years younger
Plenty fuel in the tank yet
lol I have a son your age... so... just naw lol but thanks for the compliment kind sir "
Haha im only messing  hope you have a good christmas and santa is good to you! Thats if your not on the naughty list  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're welcome... as the old saying goes... if I was twenty years younger... I WOULD lol
Haha! Why would ya need to be 20 years younger
Plenty fuel in the tank yet
lol I have a son your age... so... just naw lol but thanks for the compliment kind sir
Haha im only messing hope you have a good christmas and santa is good to you! Thats if your not on the naughty list "
Heheehe messing is cool. Merry Christmas to you too... I'm the perfect mid of naughty and nice lol xXx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're welcome... as the old saying goes... if I was twenty years younger... I WOULD lol
Haha! Why would ya need to be 20 years younger
Plenty fuel in the tank yet
lol I have a son your age... so... just naw lol but thanks for the compliment kind sir
Haha im only messing hope you have a good christmas and santa is good to you! Thats if your not on the naughty list
Heheehe messing is cool. Merry Christmas to you too... I'm the perfect mid of naughty and nice lol xXx "
Mix* bloody phone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theoretically speaking, as a straight guy, Illness wouldn't be a big thing for me as long as I knew a little bit of background information on it
However judging by your username, you're a celtic fan which would be a much bigger problem for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope it wouldn't put me off one bit,
But in hindsight that's how I found this place a few years back, after being given the last rights and family told to prepare as I wasn't expected to make it through the night......
An angel watching over me got me through the night and rebuilt my life now I live for today |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Too young for me but I admire your courage.
Maybe only disclose what you need to when it's important. I met a guy from another site and only once we had met did he tell me that he had a condition which would deteriorate over time. Didn't change anything and we still chat several years later.
I wouldn't worry about your lack of employment. If people are interested in you they won't mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi!
Just read your post and I agree with being honest about it is the best approach
My best swinger friend has some strange condition where he gets some fits ! For me this would have been a huge issue if I didn't know! But my friend was honest with us and no we know what to do when the fits arrive!
As I see it it's hurting but it's not your problem and bear over it and ignore it the best as you can
All the best and happy swinging
Sig |
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