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Profile and message clichés that nip your head...
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What do you see in profiles or messages that tickles your angry goat?
Here's a couple from us.
"Genuine" or "real": as opposed to computer generated?
"Steal my pictures and I will come down on you with the full force of the law": usually followed by some utter gibberish vaguely accurate sounding legal spiel.
"I'm not bi but I'll suck your cock if you let me fuck your girl": I don't 'let' anyone fuck my girl, she kinda gets to make that call herself.
And "Discression" as code word for attached and cheating!
And in order to counter act the negativity here's a joke.
What's Grand Master Flash's favourite website? Wiki wiki wiki wikiped
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Professional",that really rips my knitting,what makes people who put this on their profile any better than anyone else?or is it just so it gives them an unbridled sense of self importance ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That comes under fab straight
Bunkie
then they fab all my pics lol maybe i should be flattered lol
A fab is a fab mate
True "
thants because most of your pucs are fab.... well your new ones lol |
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Please have a visible facial pic on your profile, but the person with that on their profile doesn't have one!
And to go with what others are saying - Men that have straight on their profile, but are looking to meet TVs?
Mandy |
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By *anny77Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts "
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic. |
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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago
bellshill |
"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic."
Dam right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please have a visible facial pic on your profile, but the person with that on their profile doesn't have one!
And to go with what others are saying - Men that have straight on their profile, but are looking to meet TVs?
Mandy"
nothing to say them meeting tv's is for anything more than socials though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The various ultra picky demands
Must be gym fit and minimum 9 inch cock .
Check the profile and its someone that hasn't seen the inside of a gym for 30 years!! Unless there is a place called gym chip shop .
Yes we all have preferences but cmon a wee bit power on here and they think they are Angelina Jolie.
Statuses . Great meet. What a night . No verifications . Ever  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Not looking for single guys", but they are verified by nothing but single guys.  "
On this one. If you want to cut down on your messages and you block single guys it then shows on your profile as not looking for single guys. A bit confusing I know but how the filtering system shows it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This maybe unfair but...
"Lost my old account log in details and had loads of awesome verifications on there..."LLF seen that pish so many times"
I'm possibly being a bit thick, but what does LLF mean?? |
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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Come to mine right now. 4 of us bisexual women need your cock right away".
The number of times I've had that message. Why would they assume I could drop everything just like that and meet them?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This maybe unfair but...
"Lost my old account log in details and had loads of awesome verifications on there..."LLF seen that pish so many times
I'm possibly being a bit thick, but what does LLF mean?? "
Laugh like fuck??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This maybe unfair but...
"Lost my old account log in details and had loads of awesome verifications on there..."LLF seen that pish so many times
I'm possibly being a bit thick, but what does LLF mean??
Laugh like fuck??? "
 |
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By *anny77Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
""Come to mine right now. 4 of us bisexual women need your cock right away".
The number of times I've had that message. Why would they assume I could drop everything just like that and meet them??"
If I got that message I'd flee from my father's funeral to help out |
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By *anny77Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic."
Absolutely agree. I think Glasgow is pretty much a small place in terms of that so god knows how you must be feeling |
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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
""Come to mine right now. 4 of us bisexual women need your cock right away".
The number of times I've had that message. Why would they assume I could drop everything just like that and meet them??
If I got that message I'd flee from my father's funeral to help out "
Lol. Me too though I suspect my funeral would follow shortly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That comes under fab straight
Bunkie
then they fab all my pics lol maybe i should be flattered lol
A fab is a fab mate
True "
if it wasn't for gay, tv and ts I wouldn't get any fabs at all |
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""Come to mine right now. 4 of us bisexual women need your cock right away".
The number of times I've had that message. Why would they assume I could drop everything just like that and meet them??
If I got that message I'd flee from my father's funeral to help out "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic.
Dam right"
you got one mr...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phew had to double check our profile there and don't think we have committed any fab sins
Only thing that irritates us are the sycophantic messages via status updates between people who meet regularly / are becoming a thing. |
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"Phew had to double check our profile there and don't think we have committed any fab sins
Only thing that irritates us are the sycophantic messages via status updates between people who meet regularly / are becoming a thing. "
Definitely this. And the song lyrics... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phew had to double check our profile there and don't think we have committed any fab sins
Only thing that irritates us are the sycophantic messages via status updates between people who meet regularly / are becoming a thing.
Definitely this. And the song lyrics..."
So you've seen them too  |
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"I had a discretion assured meet 2 years ago when the girl one half of a professional couple turned up in a shocking pink Toyota MR2 woulda been as well arriving in a Fabswingers Zeppelin. "
Ha ha dildo car |
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Copied and pasted legal disclaimers! Noooooooooooooo
I'm going to add one to our profile.
"The path of the righteous SWINGER is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of GREAT MEETS. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those WHO ATTEMPT TO STEAL MY PHOTOS (ART). And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." |
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"Copied and pasted legal disclaimers! Noooooooooooooo
I'm going to add one to our profile.
"The path of the righteous SWINGER is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of GREAT MEETS. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those WHO ATTEMPT TO STEAL MY PHOTOS (ART). And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.""
just need a bad mother fucker wallet now |
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""Professional",that really rips my knitting,what makes people who put this on their profile any better than anyone else?or is it just so it gives them an unbridled sense of self importance ? "
THIS!!!!! |
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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago
bellshill |
"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic.
Dam right
you got one mr... "
Of course
If requested |
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"Copied and pasted legal disclaimers! Noooooooooooooo
I'm going to add one to our profile.
"The path of the righteous SWINGER is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of GREAT MEETS. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those WHO ATTEMPT TO STEAL MY PHOTOS (ART). And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
just need a bad mother fucker wallet now "
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""Professional",that really rips my knitting,what makes people who put this on their profile any better than anyone else?or is it just so it gives them an unbridled sense of self importance ?
THIS!!!!! maybe it means professional shagger  "
lol that's what I thought |
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""Professional",that really rips my knitting,what makes people who put this on their profile any better than anyone else?or is it just so it gives them an unbridled sense of self importance ?
THIS!!!!! maybe it means professional shagger "
Professional twat more like |
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Other thing that makes me chuckle but does nip my heid is the look at me profiles that repost the same pics over and over to stay on the update feed
Always the same type of people, here for ego boosts only |
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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago
bellshill |
"
Other thing that makes me chuckle but does nip my heid is the look at me profiles that repost the same pics over and over to stay on the update feed
Always the same type of people, here for ego boosts only "
And never meet or even chat
Can think of a couple |
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"
Other thing that makes me chuckle but does nip my heid is the look at me profiles that repost the same pics over and over to stay on the update feed
Always the same type of people, here for ego boosts only
And never meet or even chat
Can think of a couple"
Yup you know what I mean lol sad stuff eh |
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By *anny77Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Just had a new one that gave me a WTF? moment.
Someone had on their profile "Do NOT Wink me, or I'll instantly block you".
They sent me a wink!!!
Mandy"
A guy winked me and I looked at his profile (as I usually do) he was straight and looking for girls.
He messaged me right away asking if I wanted to meet for discreet fun.
I said no thanks I just checked the profile because he winked me.
"I never winked you." I said he did and he went mental |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No time wasters
Who would describe themselves as one and genuinely be put off by this statement?
'you know who you are' updates
Glad to see the 'if carlsberg did..' patter has moved on, hopefully the dyson analogy will soon too. And if I was going to meet a professional, I'd be expecting to pay |
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"And if I was going to meet a professional, I'd be expecting to pay"
My least favourite thing I've seen on a profile was 'No Fatties'.
We've all got our preferences but there is no need to be rude! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When people profess on their profile.....
'I don't do or get involved in drama'.
.
In truth it doesn't really 'nip my head' but rather i find it ever so laughable (not in a good or giggly way), when it becomes clear at a later date that they are in fact a massive drama queen/king. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
 |
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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago
bellshill |
"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
"
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
Lol"
You couldnt make it up lol it actually dumb founded me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
maybe its nothing to do with your marital status but more to do with them wanting to see their partner have fun than doing it on their own "
No the partner wasnt to be part of the fun or the meet thats why i didnt get it .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
maybe its nothing to do with your marital status but more to do with them wanting to see their partner have fun than doing it on their own
No the partner wasnt to be part of the fun or the meet thats why i didnt get it ..And thats what I mean she just wanted it to be at cjs where she would know what you are like and what was going on ..a lot of couples dont mind their partners playing with others in this way "
Nope it was clearly pointed out it was coz i was married which is my point if i had been single meet wud have been 1 on 1 elsewhere |
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"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
maybe its nothing to do with your marital status but more to do with them wanting to see their partner have fun than doing it on their own
No the partner wasnt to be part of the fun or the meet thats why i didnt get it ..And thats what I mean she just wanted it to be at cjs where she would know what you are like and what was going on ..a lot of couples dont mind their partners playing with others in this way
Nope it was clearly pointed out it was coz i was married which is my point if i had been single meet wud have been 1 on 1 elsewhere "
doesnt make any sence but each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They flirt tease want nawty chats pics ..imply they wud love to meet but there other half doesnt allow them to meet married fems who play alone ..not unless at cjs ..lol hilarous
Erm id still be married wether cjs or not haha
maybe its nothing to do with your marital status but more to do with them wanting to see their partner have fun than doing it on their own
No the partner wasnt to be part of the fun or the meet thats why i didnt get it ..And thats what I mean she just wanted it to be at cjs where she would know what you are like and what was going on ..a lot of couples dont mind their partners playing with others in this way
Nope it was clearly pointed out it was coz i was married which is my point if i had been single meet wud have been 1 on 1 elsewhere doesnt make any sence but each to their own "
Exactly didnt make sense to me either |
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"Garenteed to make you gush
Erm...I don't wanna gush!!!!
Maybe they misspelt blush...
Maybe they misspelled lunch...garenteed to make you lunch? "
Who doesn't like having lunch made for them?
And I can guarantee they misspelled 'Guaranteed'... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a fan of "send a face pic in first pic or you'll be blocked!"'
Seems a bit harsh. You might want to know who you're talking to to see if it's worth your while to continue to engage... But I might want to get to know you before I'm willing to send the pic. Or might want an exchange of sorts
i am always petrified to send face pics coming from a small town up north....so always try to gage if i would know the person first....i dont care if we are here for the same reason...i am not having my neighbours/family/friends finding out im here....so never is a rush to send a face pic."
Agreed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When people profess on their profile.....
'I don't do or get involved in drama'.
.
In truth it doesn't really 'nip my head' but rather i find it ever so laughable (not in a good or giggly way), when it becomes clear at a later date that they are in fact a massive drama queen/king. "
Hahahah YES!!!! |
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