FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > A question for the guys ;-)
A question for the guys ;-)
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I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post ..
Maybe it would be a good idea if Women or Couples took the initiative too engage in some light hearted chat rather than the Male doing all the chasing.
However ..are Women any good at chatting up ? lol
i cant wait for the 100 messages a day too start .
 |
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"Great post ..
Maybe it would be a good idea if Women or Couples took the initiative too engage in some light hearted chat rather than the Male doing all the chasing.
However ..are Women any good at chatting up ? lol
i cant wait for the 100 messages a day too start .
"
flirting and chatting comes so easy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Us men love to be complimented and flattered (we are so precious) so of course a woman or couple instigating a chat is going to go down well.
Waiting patiently for the OP to message me #ayeright |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nope ive no problem being messaged first least i know theyre actually interested in getting to know me nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear after all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
I look specifically for woman who knows her own mind and what she wants. So ideally I look for a strong balanced profile.
I think all guys would like it if more woman sent a first message
I do pretty ok for guys on fab and it's hard enough getting a message read, never mind liked and replied too! I know we're mainly idiots writing completely unmannered bollocks though.
I've had a few woman I've messaged and they've been like "Oh your on my hotlist" why not message then? :P
So woman message away. Don't be shy. Don't ask don't get! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
Prefer both  I think if anyone is interested in a profile then message away, heard people say that some are out of their league??? Crazy , chat away , be yourself and see what happens , worst someone can say is no x |
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ?
Prefer both I think if anyone is interested in a profile then message away, heard people say that some are out of their league??? Crazy , chat away , be yourself and see what happens , worst someone can say is no x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problem messaging guys to chat and be friendly but a lot can't just do that and take a message as the green light to start the "meet me now" nonsense rather than converse.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection."
I hadn't seen that reason cited before now, think I'd always assumed that women mailing men was rare because of all the messages coming the other way.
I get that for too many it's an implied invitation for more than conversation, but it's never a burden to get a nice "hello" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im up too 124 messages..Ive still not secured a meet faux ache..
Ladies ..if your messaging would you please include a face pic and No Pussy Pics please ..lol
 |
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"Im up too 124 messages..Ive still not secured a meet faux ache..
Ladies ..if your messaging would you please include a face pic and No Pussy Pics please ..lol
"
Earth calling earth calling time to return from your dream |
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I mail guys all the time... if their profile interests me.
Some I've met... Some have said they're not interested... Some have deleted my message without replying...
A large %age of the single guys I've met (and continue to meet) from Fab have come from me mailing them...
Why wait for someone to get in touch when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself |
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"I mail guys all the time... if their profile interests me.
Some I've met... Some have said they're not interested... Some have deleted my message without replying...
A large %age of the single guys I've met (and continue to meet) from Fab have come from me mailing them...
Why wait for someone to get in touch when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself "
May more be like you |
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"I mail guys all the time... if their profile interests me.
Some I've met... Some have said they're not interested... Some have deleted my message without replying...
A large %age of the single guys I've met (and continue to meet) from Fab have come from me mailing them...
Why wait for someone to get in touch when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself "
exactly |
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By *awk3y3Man
over a year ago
West Lothian |
In essence it's a confidence thing, you need a thick skin to be here and I don't take rejection personally, everyone has their own taste.... it is nice however to receive an unsolicited email from someone who finds you interesting xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In essence it's a confidence thing, you need a thick skin to be here and I don't take rejection personally, everyone has their own taste.... it is nice however to receive an unsolicited email from someone who finds you interesting xxx "
A compliment freely given with no ulterior motive is indeed a precious thing. |
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By *awk3y3Man
over a year ago
West Lothian |
"I have no problem messaging guys to chat and be friendly but a lot can't just do that and take a message as the green light to start the "meet me now" nonsense rather than converse. "
The art of conversation is a dying skill... I blame technology for that.... when was the last time you received an actual letter on real writing paper with handwriting that didn't look like a spider was doing the cha cha slide over the page....or even as I still do now I write short letters on paper thin silver birch bark....if you would like such a letter let me know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem messaging guys to chat and be friendly but a lot can't just do that and take a message as the green light to start the "meet me now" nonsense rather than converse. "
This
Often send a message off the back of a comment on a thread on here, especially if there has been a bit of banter back and forth however it is just chat and not the green light that I want more   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem messaging guys to chat and be friendly but a lot can't just do that and take a message as the green light to start the "meet me now" nonsense rather than converse. Yeah I agree jinty ..it's the same with face pic Friday too
Exactly.... "
This though I have sent a message or two first! |
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By *illnatMan
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
"I mail guys all the time... if their profile interests me.
Some I've met... Some have said they're not interested... Some have deleted my message without replying...
A large %age of the single guys I've met (and continue to meet) from Fab have come from me mailing them...
Why wait for someone to get in touch when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself "
As has already been said - wish there was more like you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Essentially we are no different in this sense, both male and female would actually admit to prefer if the other initiated the chat.
Having a woman initiate the conversation is so refreshing and the fact they have done this is a sign they are interested in your profile.
For me a great ice breaker and a start to building something rather than me chasingy tail |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thread...I don't have any problem messaging guys, might wink first though!
I'm not everyone's type (who is?) so if I'm not successful then I just move on. Mind you, I pick very carefully so as to hopefully avoid rejection...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on. "
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks? |
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"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on. "
What is it about an inbox full of "No Thanks" "Not interested" etc ... thats better than a message just being deleted without reply????
Personally I delete my sent mail most days and never look at anything in my sent items. |
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"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on.
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks? "
Oops.. You beat me to the question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's my preference but i won't be messaging someone unless I'm absolutely sure that a conversation will spark up.
Everyone has their preferences in handling messages I accept that |
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By *illnatMan
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on.
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks?
Oops.. You beat me to the question "
To me it's just politeness. I would prefer a thanks but no thanks but fully accept that any message not responded too means no thanks as well. I think that the amount of mail that women get does make it difficult to respond to every email (repetitive no thanks strain)!
Maybe im a little too polite to be on here - brought up to have manners lol although some would disagree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks? "
I don't know if it's a function of time spent here, but I think I would have preferred to get the 'no thanks' reply when I first joined (if I found the courage to say 'hi' in the first place  ) Now, knowing the impossible practicality of women replying to every message, it really wouldn't bother me at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on.
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks?
Oops.. You beat me to the question
To me it's just politeness. I would prefer a thanks but no thanks but fully accept that any message not responded too means no thanks as well. I think that the amount of mail that women get does make it difficult to respond to every email (repetitive no thanks strain)!
Maybe im a little too polite to be on here - brought up to have manners lol although some would disagree "
I'll reply on behalf of a few ladies I chat to, all too often a polite no thanks results in why etc and ends in an abusive message and quite frankly..who needs that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only seem to get messages fron Gay or bi guys which is of no interest to me being straight. The idea of a woman initiating a conversation is very exciting.
Willie |
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By *illnatMan
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on.
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks?
Oops.. You beat me to the question
To me it's just politeness. I would prefer a thanks but no thanks but fully accept that any message not responded too means no thanks as well. I think that the amount of mail that women get does make it difficult to respond to every email (repetitive no thanks strain)!
Maybe im a little too polite to be on here - brought up to have manners lol although some would disagree
I'll reply on behalf of a few ladies I chat to, all too often a polite no thanks results in why etc and ends in an abusive message and quite frankly..who needs that"
Agreed - and it's something I personally wouldn't do but can understand the sentiment totally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget the winky wink shy people. Sometimes offers an alternative route to getting on the dance floor. I sometimes test the water with a wink lol "
Waiting patiently lol |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I do get messages from ladies from time to time. It's nice to be noticed and for someone to say hi.
But as has been said, it doesn't mean they want to shag me. Just have a chat. And that's fine by me. I like a good chin wag from time to time |
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Thinks it's great when a women makes the first move and messages first.
Surprised to hear that many of them don't do it, as it would take the trouble of getting messages from people they aren't interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm one of these guys that fears rejection but it's more of a psychological thing.
If I message a woman and they read it and don't hear from them it pisses me off. Least they can do is say I'm not interested but thanks anyway and move on.
Can I ask a question please?
I see a lot of guys say that they would rather have a 'no thanks' than no reply at all - why? Why is getting a message/messages in your inbox saying no better than taking no reply as a no thanks?
Oops.. You beat me to the question
To me it's just politeness. I would prefer a thanks but no thanks but fully accept that any message not responded too means no thanks as well. I think that the amount of mail that women get does make it difficult to respond to every email (repetitive no thanks strain)!
Maybe im a little too polite to be on here - brought up to have manners lol although some would disagree "
I reply to almost all of the messages I receive because I have very tight filters therefore I don't get a huge influx. I don't reply to anything that I find crude and distasteful.
However as is often said you get more messages or abusive messages - 'Fuck off ya fat dog' was one of the nicest replies to my 'no thanks' |
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"I do get messages from ladies from time to time. It's nice to be noticed and for someone to say hi.
But as has been said, it doesn't mean they want to shag me. Just have a chat. And that's fine by me. I like a good chin wag from time to time "
I message u lol well sometimes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Prefer to get mailed, women are inundated with emails on here so what are the chance mine would get read."
Yeah, after reading through profiles, especially the ones that interest me, I kinda avoid. As a giu, its abut easier if you're shown a green light, abit of interest... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it i would love a women to ask me . I have been on here before and had rejection and attraction no different from (normal dating ) its life win some lose some men on here should appreciate that women have the power on here and in life you got to respect that and of you can do that they may have sex with you . Women love them all xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
I thinks its a good idea and is stupid to think of rejection ive had a hell of a lot of rejections you just haveto take it on the chin but yes it would be nice to get a message now and then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love woman messaging first, would make a refreshing change as most don't and it would be nice to know a woman likes what she sees enough to actually make the first move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rude not to reply, so I always do. Very rare a lady sends a message though, I can't believe they are fearful of rejection. No more fearful than I am! Lol |
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
Not at all, I'd be delighted! And whether or not I'm interested, I'd hope to respond pleasantly and respectfully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most Guys would be happy to get a message although for some the chase is part of the thrill. In 2016, Women are more empowered than ever,which means traditional values are changing, there has been a big change in the last 10yrs and that can only be a good thing. There is nothing to fear from a powerful Woman who takes the initiative in first contact, or anything else after that, it probably makes for a more honest and fun partnership. Good topic, nice one. |
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
I think most women on here don't have bother getting mail from guys, i personally find a woman who goes for what she wants an makes it hers
a big turn on , think it can be rare on here tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love it when a lady makes the first move and don't feel at all intimidated by them. Hell it is quite flattering to have been singled out for attention frankly.
Though in my experience here and on other dating sites woman rarely go chasing men, presumably due to the amount of messages they receive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd luv a woman to make the first move. Never happened to me lol. Def not a turn off tho. A lassie who knows what she's after with no games or attitude few n far between but i find that and a cool personality more attractive than looks. Just my humble opinion |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Some ladies do message first tho it is a minority probably due to the numbnuts that think getting a wink or message from a lady entitles them to a shag and get shitty when it doesnt happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read the profile and look at the pictures if not for me I don't mail. Only message if something interests me.
It is what it is on here and real life is the same. Men have to chase and the woman have a major choice on here so very very surprised if they need to message males. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
I prefer a female to hit on me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolute no brainer.. Id love more messages from the ladies.. Always reply politely and courteously with compliments even if they are not for me. So no reason to feel rejected... It's life.
On some dating sites guys can spend hours messaging carefully thought out messages to loads of women and get a handful of replies.. It's a tough gig but always had been!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read often that women won't mail guys on here for fear or rejection.
I've never had a problem with mailing someone I like the look of and if they decide I'm not for them then that's fine too .
So my question to guys is would you prefer if more women made a move on you and mailed or do you prefer to make contact.
Are you put off by a woman who knows her own mind and goes for what she wants ? "
I'm all up for women mailing me, couples too lol.I love a woman who know what she wants too. |
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By *ouise79Woman
over a year ago
scotland |
Personally I think guys are more "risky" when it comes to sending messages than the females
I don't like sending a message Incase it comes across as being too forward or desperate, I prefer to wink and see what happens from there, if it goes without one being returned or a message being sent I know it's a "not interested"
Maybe should start messaging at least you can see when/if it's been read, whereas a wink might go unnoticed
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