FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Must reply even if it's a no thanks
Must reply even if it's a no thanks
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Am I the only one who finds this irritating?
The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.
Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.
The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have! |
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"I always hate when they're pushy and write that they want a reply. I think you'll find that's my decision 
Usually an instant delete for me  "
Exactly. If they're like that on a first message then I don't really want to meet them in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always hate when they're pushy and write that they want a reply. I think you'll find that's my decision
Usually an instant delete for me
Exactly. If they're like that on a first message then I don't really want to meet them in person. "
Precisely hardly a great first impression 
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a little more serious. ...
My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.
And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a little more serious. ...
My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.
And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages "
standard response being pure sarcasm?  |
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"Being a little more serious. ...
My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.
And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages "
I don't want to see the inside of her cauldren |
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"Being a little more serious. ...
My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.
And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages "
Haha, me too.
We do meet single guys so that filter is open, our age filters are wider at the moment due to organising a social. I prefer to reply with a no thanks if uninterested, but dislike being told what to do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a little more serious. ...
My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.
And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages
I don't want to see the inside of her cauldren "
Oh I never offered  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only one who finds this irritating?
The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.
Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.
The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have! "
Yeah it's weird how people block people if they don't reply to messages haha |
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"If you put up a post inviting responses, you should at least have the courtesy to send a quick reply to those who reply."
It wasn't in reply to a post, it was an unsolicited message of interest. I'm not referring to forum posts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I get a message that tells me to reply I will deliberately not reply. It's my option to reply and I do try to reply to most decent ones but things such as life take over my time. And cooking dinner and dealing with family life is more important than using what time I have to use on here repling no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that's it's hard for the girls being swamped cos let's face it , it must be 10 to 1 guys favour in here. So it's understandable that ladies will ignore. I've never been rude or crude but it's so frustrating when u write a nice polite invitation to chat and it's deleted Asap.
Two sides of the coin here.
Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought  |
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"I think that's it's hard for the girls being swamped cos let's face it , it must be 10 to 1 guys favour in here. So it's understandable that ladies will ignore. I've never been rude or crude but it's so frustrating when u write a nice polite invitation to chat and it's deleted Asap.
Two sides of the coin here.
Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought "
The key there is "polite invitation"
Many messages I get on here are far from that... and if someone came up to me in a bar and said what some say in their opening messages on here you're damn right I'd ignore them, or possibly tell them to fuck right off...(but you can get reported for abuse if you reply to people with that on here) so far simpler to delete and ignore  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get zillions of messages,its impossible to reply to them,,plus most I'm not remotely interested in.
I do try n reply to folk I know and forumites that message me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know that's the same for guys aswell, most guys wouldn't dare going up to a lassy n give it that shit, that's my point bit of respect all round is needed. To many hiding behind a keyboard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to reply to every message as again thought it was rude not too, however we ended up exceeding our messages for the day, and ended up having to wait to midnight before 'hitting on someone we wanted' so now... block so they do not waste their messages or ours, so at least they get the message! |
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I don't mind if people don't reply , having been part of a couples profile on here before I get that it can be hard to keep up with all the messages. I tried to reply to everyone at first but then you get the reply saying but you'd like me if you gave me a chance or the arguments that you are wrong for not wanting to meet them. So in the end only replied to people we wanted to take things further with.
I do appreciate it when I get a no thank you message and always reply thanking them for taking the time. |
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It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
But then how many people read the FAQs?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind if people don't reply , having been part of a couples profile on here before I get that it can be hard to keep up with all the messages. I tried to reply to everyone at first but then you get the reply saying but you'd like me if you gave me a chance or the arguments that you are wrong for not wanting to meet them. So in the end only replied to people we wanted to take things further with.
I do appreciate it when I get a no thank you message and always reply thanking them for taking the time. "
This kinda sums up our thoughts. Sometimes a polite no thanks isn't good enough for some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never really understood this idea.
Surely no reply cushions the blow somewhat?
Nothing worse than actually getting a reply, thinking "I'm in here", opening it only to be told 'no thanks'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks"
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa "
I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of "
I was talking about me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
I was talking about me "
too polite to say that |
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of "
Not cake? Say it ain't so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so! "
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so! "
if you want cake you'll have to be extra nice nice to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
But then how many people read the FAQs? "
See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong
If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely? hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks. |
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so!
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya... "
I'll be on my guard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so!
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya...
I'll be on my guard "
I'm very sneaky though |
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"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
But then how many people read the FAQs?
See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong
If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely? hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks. "
You've completely missed the point. The question I raised was that someone messages you out of the blue, not someone you've ever spoken to, and says that they're interested in meeting. Then they add that you should reply to their message, even if you're only replying to say no thanks, because 'it's only polite'.
Telling someone that they owe you a reply is rude, and is an instant delete from me. Had the guy not done that, I would have replied to say no thanks as I usually do (with the exception of one word messages), but telling me that I had to do so? No.
Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.
|
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so!
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya...
I'll be on my guard
I'm very sneaky though "
Yes you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so!
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya...
I'll be on my guard
I'm very sneaky though
Yes you are "
affy tendency of calling in an air strike from the paper air force |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so! if you want cake you'll have to be extra nice nice to me "
I'm always happy to share my cake - with nice people 
And as for Gnorman - I offered a cuppa but you'd driven past me
So stop whinging |
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"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks
Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of
Not cake? Say it ain't so!
Neither of them have ever offered cake
It's a ploy to tempt ya...
I'll be on my guard
I'm very sneaky though
Yes you are
affy tendency of calling in an air strike from the paper air force "
Crash helmet at the ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
But then how many people read the FAQs?
See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong
If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely? hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks.
You've completely missed the point. The question I raised was that someone messages you out of the blue, not someone you've ever spoken to, and says that they're interested in meeting. Then they add that you should reply to their message, even if you're only replying to say no thanks, because 'it's only polite'.
Telling someone that they owe you a reply is rude, and is an instant delete from me. Had the guy not done that, I would have replied to say no thanks as I usually do (with the exception of one word messages), but telling me that I had to do so? No.
Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.
"
I see what your meaning there
Well fair enough if someone telling u what to do yip get that.
It's the whole other side that when your polite n try n strike up convo then deleted annoys me. Crossed wires peace  |
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"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
But then how many people read the FAQs?
See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong
If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely? hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks.
You've completely missed the point. The question I raised was that someone messages you out of the blue, not someone you've ever spoken to, and says that they're interested in meeting. Then they add that you should reply to their message, even if you're only replying to say no thanks, because 'it's only polite'.
Telling someone that they owe you a reply is rude, and is an instant delete from me. Had the guy not done that, I would have replied to say no thanks as I usually do (with the exception of one word messages), but telling me that I had to do so? No.
Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.
I see what your meaning there
Well fair enough if someone telling u what to do yip get that.
It's the whole other side that when your polite n try n strike up convo then deleted annoys me. Crossed wires peace "
I'm sure it does, that's a different discussion though |
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If a message I send is read and deleted I take it as a no thanks and leave it. No problem. However see when a profile says things like be original or no one liners when messaging so you read the profile in full making sure you are within the criteria and send a message relating to the person and a bit about yourself and how you think you may be good to meet and it's then deleted before reading? That is a tad annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.
Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.
I replied to someone saying thanks for the message but you are too far away to encourage. Cue he mails me all the time now so I ignore them. Which yes is rude but I'd already said no.
But then how many people read the FAQs?
See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong
If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely? hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that's it's hard for the girls being swamped cos let's face it , it must be 10 to 1 guys favour in here. So it's understandable that ladies will ignore. I've never been rude or crude but it's so frustrating when u write a nice polite invitation to chat and it's deleted Asap.
Two sides of the coin here.
Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought "
I ignore if they live to far stuff like that .why talk if u sent gonna meet.and getting told u should reply is a no go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't understand why some people need rejection in writing. Does it make any difference to the whole fab experience?
My profile says that I won't reply if I'm not interested. They so they can make an informed choice whether or not to message me if a reply is so important.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile doesn't invite messages except from friends so to message and request an answer goes straight to my deaf ear....pardon?
If I message someone, I'm happy to get a response. If I don't...fair do's. No one is entitled to an answer or indeed a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't understand why some people need rejection in writing. Does it make any difference to the whole fab experience?
My profile says that I won't reply if I'm not interested. They so they can make an informed choice whether or not to message me if a reply is so important.
"
It's just a wee bit of manners but you got it on your profile then fair enough.
I just hate rudeness that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only one who finds this irritating?
The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.
Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.
The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have! "
tbh i think its just manners to say that to someone not even getting a reply can be annoying but I do put it down aw well i tryed, there lost lol. but for me if i have some one messege me and im not interested i would let them now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have you responded to all the politicians who have put leaflets through your letter box?
It's nothing to do with manners. Is a no thanks going to make you feel any better? What does it actually bring to your experience on this site.
Sorry to bang on but it's the same whine every day |
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I'm a bit of a hypocrite. I don't say no thanks, I leave the messages marked as unread and just move on as if I never saw them. But if i message someone who deleted my message without replying, i do make a mental note and if they message me at some point in the future, I make a point of ignoring them ha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of people take it bad if u say .
Not intrested or ur not my type they start ..how do u know u haven't tryed ect ...then u get the others that call u names .slut fat cow .ect when u answer so easyer not too |
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