Man walks up to a woman in a bar and says "I was gonna tell you a joke about my penis but its too long" The woman looks at him and says "funny that, I was gonna tell you a joke about my vagina but you'll never get it".  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i used to go out with this lassie , every time she had an orgasim she would punch me in the face ...... i didnt mind until i found out she was faking them . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm i ntrouble with the wifeas per usual, last night we were in bed naked and she asked me what I would like to do most with her body.
Apparently identify it wasn't the right answer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm i ntrouble with the wifeas per usual, last night we were in bed naked and she asked me what I would like to do most with her body.
Apparently identify it wasn't the right answer "
oh yer all bad! |
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Guy meet this stunning 50 year old woman in a bar, they flirt and she asks him if he'd be into a mother-daughter threesome. Fuck yeah, he says. So they go back to her place, soon as she opens the door she screams "Mum! Mum! Get outta bed, we've company!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Paddy's walking past the new pub that's just opened in the village and he sees a sign 'pies 50p, wanks 10p'. Curiosity gets the better of him so he walks in and up to the bar 'here', he says to the barmaid 'are you the one that's giving the wanks?'. A gorgeous, young, busty blonde replies 'sure I am'. Paddy replies 'well wash yer fecking hands then, I want a pie!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a recent study found that woman find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
for example when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features,
and when she is on her period...she prefers a man doused in petrol,set on fire,with scissors stuck in his fuckin eyes and a cricket stump rammed up his arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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guy walks into a pub, goes to the bar and see's a big alsation sitting there, he says to the guy beside it does your dog bite mate and he replies no, he reaches out to pat the dog and it latches right onto his hand ffs mate thought you said yuor dog doesn't bite, it doesn't thats no ma dog  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman , salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays rugby for Scotland but I was just too
embarrassed to say."
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