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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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50 Shades of Chocolate
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street .
He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts
Lolololol so funny |
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By *yandmMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
A bunch of brunettes and a bunch of blondes book a double Decker bus for a jolly to the seaside, the blondes rush upstairs leaving the brunettes on the lower deck.
On the way the brunettes crack open the booze and party, part way through the journey one of the brunettes notices it's quiet upstairs so goes to investigate, she gets up the stairs and sees the blondes all gripping onto seat rails looking terrified, she asks what's wrong, one of the blondes shouts out, it's alright for you lot partying downstairs, we've no fuckin driver! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A bunch of brunettes and a bunch of blondes book a double Decker bus for a jolly to the seaside, the blondes rush upstairs leaving the brunettes on the lower deck.
On the way the brunettes crack open the booze and party, part way through the journey one of the brunettes notices it's quiet upstairs so goes to investigate, she gets up the stairs and sees the blondes all gripping onto seat rails looking terrified, she asks what's wrong, one of the blondes shouts out, it's alright for you lot partying downstairs, we've no fuckin driver!"
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Three nurses working in a ward find a dead man with a hard on, the 1st nurse says I can't let that go to waste! & then rides him, the 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates & explains she's on her period, but does him anyway.
Then the man sits up & the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead, the man replies 'I was but after two jump starts & a blood transfusion I feel fuckin great!!!' |
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"Three nurses working in a ward find a dead man with a hard on, the 1st nurse says I can't let that go to waste! & then rides him, the 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates & explains she's on her period, but does him anyway.
Then the man sits up & the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead, the man replies 'I was but after two jump starts & a blood transfusion I feel fuckin great!!!'"
Did you see this on Facebook earlier today  cause I saw that post with a few hundred thousand likes being shared earlier ha ha |
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By *yandmMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Three nurses working in a ward find a dead man with a hard on, the 1st nurse says I can't let that go to waste! & then rides him, the 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates & explains she's on her period, but does him anyway.
Then the man sits up & the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead, the man replies 'I was but after two jump starts & a blood transfusion I feel fuckin great!!!'
Did you see this on Facebook earlier today cause I saw that post with a few hundred thousand likes being shared earlier ha ha"
Busted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Three nurses working in a ward find a dead man with a hard on, the 1st nurse says I can't let that go to waste! & then rides him, the 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates & explains she's on her period, but does him anyway.
Then the man sits up & the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead, the man replies 'I was but after two jump starts & a blood transfusion I feel fuckin great!!!'
Did you see this on Facebook earlier today cause I saw that post with a few hundred thousand likes being shared earlier ha ha"
yep lol couldn't copy & paste though had to remember it all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bear & a rabbit find a geenie in a lamp, the geenie comes out and tells them he'll grant them both 3 wishes,
Bear: I wish I was the only male bear in the forest!
Granted! Said the geenie
Rabbit: I wish I had a motorbike!
Granted! said the geenie
Bear: I wish I was the only male bear in the country!
Granted! Said the geenie
Rabbit: I wish I had a helmet!
Granted! Said the geenie
Bear: I wish I was the only male bear in the world!
Granted! Said the geenie
The rabbit then put on his helmet, jumped on his motorbike & as he started driving away he yells "I wish the bear was gay"
Granted! Said the geenie. |
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By *yandmMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
A girl comes across a talking frog, the frog says, kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince and make you my Princess, we will live happily ever after, have lots of children and you will take care of them and me.
Later, as she dined on frogs legs, she thought to herself, I don't fuckin think so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has nothing to do with the thread, I just wanted to tell everyone I'm writing a song, the song is about tortillas, well I say a song, it's more of a wrap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Three nurses working in a ward find a dead man with a hard on, the 1st nurse says I can't let that go to waste! & then rides him, the 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates & explains she's on her period, but does him anyway.
Then the man sits up & the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead, the man replies 'I was but after two jump starts & a blood transfusion I feel fuckin great!!!'"
I canny stop laughing at this lololol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A Man wakes up in Hospital..
Oh there you are Mr Smith your going to be ok ..You have been in a Motorbike Accident.
Do you remember anything at all ..said the Doctor.
Nothing ..Why am i covered head to toe in bandages ..?
Here here !! Mr Smith your ok ...the only problem we have is your Cock has been sliced off in the Accident..
However ..you do have a good Healthcare Policy and it really depends on what size of Cock you want us to fit you.
Your 3 options are ..
1.£1000 for a 5 inch Cock
2. £5000 for a 7 inch Cock
3. £10000 for a 10 inch Cock..
You have £10000 in your stake to have any sized Cock you would like ..
Now Mr Smith ..this is not something you can decide on your own..It would be in yoiur best interest too discuss this with your Wife ..she will play a vital part in your decision.
4 weeks later ..
Ahh Mr Smith ..i take it you have came to some conclusion and spoke to your Wife in depth of this situation..?
Yes Doctor ..
Weve decided to go for the Granite Worktops in the Kitchen
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