FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > You only have yourself to blame
You only have yourself to blame
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a wee mini rant here dedicated to all those boys who moan about not getting anyone to meet them. Or not being able to get verified.
Last night there were 20 single men who didn't show up to the social. Now about 4 of them let me know. That left 16. Half of those asked to be invited for a chance to meet people. 3 of them were messaging us right up until about an hour before.. so.. where did they go??
No wonder there's a lack of sympathy for the 'I can't get a meet brigade'
In fact last night men were out numbered by women.
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I usually get between 15 and 20 single guys putting their names down for my socials, and 2 or 3 will show up.
I just laugh at the 'can't get a meet' brigade. What they actually mean is they expect to click their fingers and be surrounded by women, and aren't prepared to put any work in to meet people.
Lazy and stupid. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
Yes they were, and those of us that were there are eternally grateful for it. 
On a serious note, the lady does have a point.....if you aren't going to make the effort of showing up, why bother to ask for an invite. Especially when so many people were wanting to go. If you'd let the organisers know, they could have offered your place to someone else.  |
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It's not just socials either, I had a right headache from the single guys when trying to organise our last party. Plenty say they're interested but then bottle it at the last moment.
As a result I'm not meeting any new single guys for a while, waste of time
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It's been the same for years...
I used to organise socials on another site with a friend.
The average turn up rate for single guys was about a third of those who asked to come.
With couples and females maybe 1 or 2 wouldn't show.
I can't actually remember a social where the men haven't been outnumbered. |
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Sounds about right.
Really annoys me especially if you have people waiting in the reserve list for a place.
I've got to the stage now when certain people add their names I dont even add them to the list because I know they won't show up anyway. |
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I am sum1 that has been asking for a coffee meet that's all I want atm as I'm new to it all here I havnt asked to go to a social yet I've been tempted I'm trying to arrange a coffee meet with 1 nice lady here and it's been hard when she can do I can't atm but just being patient unfortunately there are some that spoil it for every1 as I feel 1 of the reasons I'm struggling is I'm new and another is the people you are talking about I know that when I actually get meet arranged I WILL turn up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must be really infuriating. At least have the common courtesy of informing your host. From what I understand seems to be a predominately guy issue.
"Just a wee mini rant here dedicated to all those boys who moan about not getting anyone to meet them. Or not being able to get verified.
Last night there were 20 single men who didn't show up to the social. Now about 4 of them let me know. That left 16. Half of those asked to be invited for a chance to meet people. 3 of them were messaging us right up until about an hour before.. so.. where did they go??
No wonder there's a lack of sympathy for the 'I can't get a meet brigade'
In fact last night men were out numbered by women.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Considering the time and effort it takes to arrange these events people who don't show should hang their heads.
1 consolation they may be too embarassed to come on forums for a while griping about how noone likes them .
P.s. glad you all enjoyed yourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering the time and effort it takes to arrange these events people who don't show should hang their heads.
1 consolation they may be too embarassed to come on forums for a while griping about how noone likes them .
P.s. glad you all enjoyed yourselves."
If I knew that I could have went as got told fully booked and genuine people like us who like to socialise and mingle get no were as people who let u down |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Considering the time and effort it takes to arrange these events people who don't show should hang their heads.
1 consolation they may be too embarassed to come on forums for a while griping about how noone likes them .
P.s. glad you all enjoyed yourselves.
If I knew that I could have went as got told fully booked and genuine people like us who like to socialise and mingle get no were as people who let u down"
It was fully booked and even with the no shows it was very busy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that, must be infuriating in some way after all the effort to organise. Would have definitely been there if I had received the details etc. Did not think about getting in touch as I thought it was because I missed the previous one due to a private meet and was quite happy to accept that as felt others were more entitled to attend. Hope it all went well in the end,sure seems like it did after reading various comments on it. |
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Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming. "
I'll be honest there are one or two people I was never going to allow there. My reasons are my own. I'm organising something to make sure everyone has a good night. Including me. No one in their right mind would host an event and invite folk they don't like or who they believe may cause trouble. |
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming.
I'll be honest there are one or two people I was never going to allow there. My reasons are my own. I'm organising something to make sure everyone has a good night. Including me. No one in their right mind would host an event and invite folk they don't like or who they believe may cause trouble. "
I hope to make 1 of these socials soon but I want to meet a couple people 1st as if I go straight for social I think I might bottle it u never know though I might just bite the bullet and go for it |
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming.
I'll be honest there are one or two people I was never going to allow there. My reasons are my own. I'm organising something to make sure everyone has a good night. Including me. No one in their right mind would host an event and invite folk they don't like or who they believe may cause trouble. "
As the host you have every reason to pick and choose it's your event your rules  |
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming.
I'll be honest there are one or two people I was never going to allow there. My reasons are my own. I'm organising something to make sure everyone has a good night. Including me. No one in their right mind would host an event and invite folk they don't like or who they believe may cause trouble. "
and your quite right for you.......but there is more than you attends the social I tried a few yrs ago to devise a social where there was a commitee of diffrent folk each time to make the list of attendees to change it being the same faces at each social. as by and large irrespective of intended or not this is what happens. And a contributing factor to why I seldom bother with socials now.as has been said further up if you want x amount of single guys invite three times as much |
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I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too "
This |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too "
What scares me about social is I'm no good in a room of people I don't know I end up sitting there on my own and not talking to any1 and especially when I see a lady I like I defiantly don't aproach them so I might just hav a drink and leave then it's a waiste of a place that sum1 else could have |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too
What scares me about social is I'm no good in a room of people I don't know I end up sitting there on my own and not talking to any1 and especially when I see a lady I like I defiantly don't aproach them so I might just hav a drink and leave then it's a waiste of a place that sum1 else could have"
most folk who attend socials would make you feel very welcome and you wouldn't be left sitting on your own.
But if your the type of person who doesn't mix well then maybe socials ain't for you but ultimately never know unless you try one |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too "
around 90% of most socials are the same folk in the same groups im sure you wont agree but thats my take on it |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too around 90% of most socials are the same folk in the same groups im sure you wont agree but thats my take on it"
90% lol no I won't agree with that as I said there are a core of people who do attend most socials but there are equally as many newbies to socials too |
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"I've never hosted a social where it's been the same people attending.
Yes there will always be a core of people who enjoy the social and like to come along to most of them but then on the other hand there is a group of new people attending too
What scares me about social is I'm no good in a room of people I don't know I end up sitting there on my own and not talking to any1 and especially when I see a lady I like I defiantly don't aproach them so I might just hav a drink and leave then it's a waiste of a place that sum1 else could havemost folk who attend socials would make you feel very welcome and you wouldn't be left sitting on your own.
But if your the type of person who doesn't mix well then maybe socials ain't for you but ultimately never know unless you try one "
Oh I mix well I'm just a nightmare at starting a convo and if I'm wanting to talk to Sum1 I find attractive I would never make 1st move |
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I feel your pain, I used to organise socials on a different site and the amount of people (mainly single guys) who just disappear and don't turn up.
It's really frustrating, I don't think everyone realises how much effort you have to put in when organising these events.
I hope you all had a great night.
And to those guys who just didn't bother hope you are ashamed, piss poor performance chaps.
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
I've never run a social but when planning parties I usually invite 3-4 guys I knew were 100% guaranteed to attend and asked each to invite a pal they could be sure would turn up and play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't bother going to any of the socials as there no for me so i cant complain if i don't get any meets but as with any meet i do get if i cant make on the date given or i need to cancel i will notify the person/couple/group to tell them, its nice to be nice as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a wee mini rant here dedicated to all those boys who moan about not getting anyone to meet them. Or not being able to get verified.
Last night there were 20 single men who didn't show up to the social. Now about 4 of them let me know. That left 16. Half of those asked to be invited for a chance to meet people. 3 of them were messaging us right up until about an hour before.. so.. where did they go??
No wonder there's a lack of sympathy for the 'I can't get a meet brigade'
In fact last night men were out numbered by women.
"
Well said. Men were outnumbered by women! Now I'm even more gutted I was on my works night out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty sure the rant isn't directed at me but just in case... I was one of the people Jenny said she was inviting, mailed Jenny on Thursday to tell her I wouldn't make it as I'm suffering a cold and that I was sorry... She never got back to me though.
I hope you still had a good time though xxoo
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!"
same boat, sorry |
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"How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!"
I'd never tar all guys with the same brush.
There are some very decent guys on here with enough manners to let the host know they can't make it.
If they arranged say to go to their mums for dinner they wouldn't just not show up so why do it on here?
It's selfish when they know people might be on a reserve list and desperately want to attend but can't because they have been told it's full. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!I'd never tar all guys with the same brush.
There are some very decent guys on here with enough manners to let the host know they can't make it.
If they arranged say to go to their mums for dinner they wouldn't just not show up so why do it on here?
It's selfish when they know people might be on a reserve list and desperately want to attend but can't because they have been told it's full. "
Your right, they shouldn't !pmake plans if not going to show I totally agree with that. It's just people treat single guys like lepers on here because of a few bad eggs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!"
I'm no white knight but how in hells name did you go from 16 men not showing up and not sending an apology along at an organized event to .... A rant about being high and might   |
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"How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!I'd never tar all guys with the same brush.
There are some very decent guys on here with enough manners to let the host know they can't make it.
If they arranged say to go to their mums for dinner they wouldn't just not show up so why do it on here?
It's selfish when they know people might be on a reserve list and desperately want to attend but can't because they have been told it's full. Your right, they shouldn't !pmake plans if not going to show I totally agree with that. It's just people treat single guys like lepers on here because of a few bad eggs"
yes I agree guys do get a hard time when there really is no need for it at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fear it's just a standard way of life for some people, not just on here. A couple of years ago I was having a house party, at 5pm on the day I had over 30 coming. By 7pm I was down to about 15. It's just a thing nowadays, many people just don't recognise the time & effort required for events or just don't think about other people.
On fab it's the same but with the added level of (mostly men) who are all about the idea & the fantasy but bottle it. Yes, the common courtesy would be to give advance notice that you can't come, but so many people have forgotten that. Perhaps it's the whole "online" thing? As someone said, you wouldn't just not show up to your mum's but then you know her. People have a very different view when it comes to arrangements made by someone they've not met & only spoken to online.
I think it's an issue that's here to stay.
Now if you don't mind, I'm off to my mums. (I genuinely am btw)
Mr J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!
I'm no white knight but how in hells name did you go from 16 men not showing up and not sending an apology along at an organized event to .... A rant about being high and might "
I meant as a generalized view of the site not just this post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How bout all you complaining women in this forum take some of your own advice that I've seen on so many other posts, "we're not all the same so don't put us all in the same pot" just because some waste time doesn't mean we all do it.
Oh but right enough we have penis's so we're not aloud to be so self righteous & high and mighty, we can only ride donkeys becuase the high horses are all took by the women!geez a fuckin break, with the attitude of SOME of the women NOT ALL no wonder they back out!I'd never tar all guys with the same brush.
There are some very decent guys on here with enough manners to let the host know they can't make it.
If they arranged say to go to their mums for dinner they wouldn't just not show up so why do it on here?
It's selfish when they know people might be on a reserve list and desperately want to attend but can't because they have been told it's full. Your right, they shouldn't !pmake plans if not going to show I totally agree with that. It's just people treat single guys like lepers on here because of a few bad eggsyes I agree guys do get a hard time when there really is no need for it at all "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a wee mini rant here dedicated to all those boys who moan about not getting anyone to meet them. Or not being able to get verified.
Last night there were 20 single men who didn't show up to the social. Now about 4 of them let me know. That left 16. Half of those asked to be invited for a chance to meet people. 3 of them were messaging us right up until about an hour before.. so.. where did they go??
No wonder there's a lack of sympathy for the 'I can't get a meet brigade'
In fact last night men were out numbered by women.
"
The only thing stopping me attending these meets is just due to the fact its normally a sausagefest lol next time this happens pm me lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I appreciate that just as many women and couples can be branded time wasters for various reasons. Heck I even class myself as one in my profile. The post wasn't to slander all men.
However if you look at the forums 9 out of 10 times it will be men who claim they can't get a meet. It will men who say they are hard done by. It will be men who moan about women blocking or not replying or changing their minds.
Very rarely women.
It's not rocket science to work out that the numbers are against guys on here. I totally understand it's not easy. I don't have time to read my emails let alone reply and I'm not even getting the numbers some women and couples do.
While I agree that there are many on here with over inflated egos who think the world should fall at their feet. It's not all.
And I certainly hope that's not how my original post sounded.
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Our Edinburgh night was fabulous ...I am very glad we counted in the drop out ratio ....If everyone had come we would have certainly have had a big squeeze ...It was busy cosy ...and lots of naughty queezing going on ....u are all on the naughty list!!! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our Edinburgh night was fabulous ...I am very glad we counted in the drop out ratio ....If everyone had come we would have certainly have had a big squeeze ...It was busy cosy ...and lots of naughty queezing going on ....u are all on the naughty list!!! lol "
it was fantastic!! thank you ladies for organising it. There was lots of squeezing going on of which i am guilty of lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We posted on this subject recently and got a bit slaughtered for our selection process we've tried the new single guys desperate for a meet type mostly ones posting on forum I can't get a meet complete no shows we tried forum regulars again no shows or backed out early/ busy most for good reasons some not and some who bailed incredibly late. Then there's the three we met at party's or socials always come if saying they are going always message early if can't attend. And the worst ones are the ones that can't remember stringing you along for ages not showing then answering your moan saying I'm one of the good guys I always turn up or I messaged them once but they never answered when they just stopped replying mid conversation. There are great guys out there but they are a nightmare to find there is a reason everyone who organised party's or socials complains about them not showing up because it happens repeatedly |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"We posted on this subject recently and got a bit slaughtered for our selection process we've tried the new single guys desperate for a meet type mostly ones posting on forum I can't get a meet complete no shows we tried forum regulars again no shows or backed out early/ busy most for good reasons some not and some who bailed incredibly late. Then there's the three we met at party's or socials always come if saying they are going always message early if can't attend. And the worst ones are the ones that can't remember stringing you along for ages not showing then answering your moan saying I'm one of the good guys I always turn up or I messaged them once but they never answered when they just stopped replying mid conversation. There are great guys out there but they are a nightmare to find there is a reason everyone who organised party's or socials complains about them not showing up because it happens repeatedly"
The trouble is, people work out who the reliable decent ones are and often invite them but there just isnt enough of them to go around. Maybe the new year will bring people better luck in finding them and hopefully they won't be too busy to actually say yes to an invite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We posted on this subject recently and got a bit slaughtered for our selection process we've tried the new single guys desperate for a meet type mostly ones posting on forum I can't get a meet complete no shows we tried forum regulars again no shows or backed out early/ busy most for good reasons some not and some who bailed incredibly late. Then there's the three we met at party's or socials always come if saying they are going always message early if can't attend. And the worst ones are the ones that can't remember stringing you along for ages not showing then answering your moan saying I'm one of the good guys I always turn up or I messaged them once but they never answered when they just stopped replying mid conversation. There are great guys out there but they are a nightmare to find there is a reason everyone who organised party's or socials complains about them not showing up because it happens repeatedly
The trouble is, people work out who the reliable decent ones are and often invite them but there just isnt enough of them to go around. Maybe the new year will bring people better luck in finding them and hopefully they won't be too busy to actually say yes to an invite "
people like yourselves will always get invites |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too. |
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"I appreciate that just as many women and couples can be branded time wasters for various reasons. Heck I even class myself as one in my profile. The post wasn't to slander all men.
However if you look at the forums 9 out of 10 times it will be men who claim they can't get a meet. It will men who say they are hard done by. It will be men who moan about women blocking or not replying or changing their minds.
Very rarely women.
It's not rocket science to work out that the numbers are against guys on here. I totally understand it's not easy. I don't have time to read my emails let alone reply and I'm not even getting the numbers some women and couples do.
While I agree that there are many on here with over inflated egos who think the world should fall at their feet. It's not all.
And I certainly hope that's not how my original post sounded.
"
It's not, some people just like to cause an argument |
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too."
Personally Bobby, I think that is pretty much spot on.
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too."
A very valid point
There are also many guys on here who wouldn't dare speak to people in real life they way they do here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too.
A very valid point
There are also many guys on here who wouldn't dare speak to people in real life they way they do here. "
There are women like that too.
I chat and flirt with ease on here but in the real world i lack a lot of confidence and I'm pretty shy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too."
Yip you're right, and their called time wasters, the women on the site aren't psychologists and aren't here to sort out any guys social issues. So the said guys should go and sort themselves out into normal functioning human beings and then rejoin the site. |
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too.
A very valid point
There are also many guys on here who wouldn't dare speak to people in real life they way they do here.
There are women like that too.
I chat and flirt with ease on here but in the real world i lack a lot of confidence and I'm pretty shy. "
Sorry, what I meant was that some are incredibly nasty and rude unnecessarily, and wouldn't dare speak like that to your face. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I think the virtual world gives people anonymity. Therefore, they gain false confidence. But when it comes to transferring it to the real world, they lack the ability to do so.
It's not right but it does happen.
Some are just out for the thrill of the chase and have no interest in meeting face to face.
There are some who just think that they have the God given right to do as they please and don't care who they hurt or upset along the way.
Unfortunately, it's hard to seperate them all out
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"I think the virtual world gives people anonymity. Therefore, they gain false confidence. But when it comes to transferring it to the real world, they lack the ability to do so.
It's not right but it does happen.
Some are just out for the thrill of the chase and have no interest in meeting face to face.
There are some who just think that they have the God given right to do as they please and don't care who they hurt or upset along the way.
Unfortunately, it's hard to seperate them all out
"
The cake lovers are mostly reliable  |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I think the virtual world gives people anonymity. Therefore, they gain false confidence. But when it comes to transferring it to the real world, they lack the ability to do so.
It's not right but it does happen.
Some are just out for the thrill of the chase and have no interest in meeting face to face.
There are some who just think that they have the God given right to do as they please and don't care who they hurt or upset along the way.
Unfortunately, it's hard to seperate them all out
The cake lovers are mostly reliable "
I think they try harder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too.
A very valid point
There are also many guys on here who wouldn't dare speak to people in real life they way they do here. "
i think that's just true of the internet in general there are a few on here who appear to want to twist anything others say |
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"I will get slaughtered for this but hey ho.... I think that a significant proportion of guys here who are on this site have low self confidence and difficulty in the real world in dealing with the opposite sex, hence why they are on here in the first place to fill that void and missing female interaction. So it should come as no surprise that when the time comes for the virtual world of fab to cross with the real world of a meet, that these same guys don't have the courage to complete what they started. Of course this is a very general view and will not apply to a lot of guys, but I can appreciate why women and couples tar us all with the same brush. And of course, just like in the real world, some guys might find that all the excitement and enjoyment is in the chase itself. It beggars belief why you would do all that groundwork but I am sure there are folk like that too.
A very valid point
There are also many guys on here who wouldn't dare speak to people in real life they way they do here. i think that's just true of the internet in general there are a few on here who appear to want to twist anything others say "
Oh definitely! And never have anything nice to say about anything, ever. Little rain clouds of doom, lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh definitely! And never have anything nice to say about anything, ever. Little rain clouds of doom, lol! "
Absolutely. God bless the little rain clouds though. They make the sunbeams shine brighter!!
The facts were 16 guys were disrespectful of their hosts and fellow fabbers by their actions. I take my hat off to any social organisers and applaud their efforts. I'm so glad it was a great night for those in attendance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I don't often ask to attend socials - because of my working hours constantly changing I can rarely be sure of attending and don't think its fair to tie up a place then not show up.
I do tend to get a bit annoyed when I want to go and can't because all the single guy places are gone by the time I'm sure I can make it.
Come on guys, show some courtesy and if you say you're going, go! It's not fair on others and it's not fair on the organisers if you don't.
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only apologize myself as I was one of the people that show but I did message to say I couldn't in the hope that someone could hopefully get my space. I hope the people there all had a great night and hopefully ill be better placed to make another social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming. "
Agreed ...I would be grateful for the attendees that came along and shared a great evening.Many a Social over many many years has fell flat on its arse within days of taking place due to non discretion.
The People who choose not too attend ,really is know loss to you.
Glad it went well X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming. "
Kola do you remember we first met you at a social and next two or three othe rs after so agree was mostly the same faces also always had a good tho!! Got new pots and pans kola will have then ready for you when we meet again lol xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know your not ment to name and shame but couldn't we put out a guest list and then name the people who attended and who messaged to cancel to get an idea of the good guests |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know your not ment to name and shame but couldn't we put out a guest list and then name the people who attended and who messaged to cancel to get an idea of the good guests "
I used to be on a different site many years ago and I never felt comfortable with the post that listed who was attending. For me it kinda goes against the discretion thing. Also sometimes opens it up to 'if they are going we arent' crap. It's really something I'd want to avoid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will attend one next year.if you say your going to attend you really should.i think of it as a works night out.Dont know most o the gits.but always good to mingle and get to know new folks |
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"Always been a problem isnt going to change anytime soon either although some of the blame does lie with the organisers you get guys who are verified but names down late lose out to candy coating just arrived guys not saying I know how to solve it as everyone deserves a chance. Theres also the problem of dont like him he aint coming.
Kola do you remember we first met you at a social and next two or three othe rs after so agree was mostly the same faces also always had a good tho!! Got new pots and pans kola will have then ready for you when we meet again lol xxxxx "
lol yer pots n pans are my fantasy (along with the tights) I think sometimes folk hide from the truth. And then lash out (ever so nicely and non judgementally).those who attended had fun so alls good.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I just laugh at the 'can't get a meet' brigade. What they actually mean is they expect to click their fingers and be surrounded by women, and aren't prepared to put any work in to meet people."
Always online for a laugh and a giggle and sometimes it might work out that we meet but..........
"click their fingers and be surrounded by women,"
Ouff Never Thought of That Before, Think I will try it.
makes space in room for all the women who are going to appear.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi
Its not easy to get the attention from other fellow fabbers.
I have tried now for some time to get to know the fab people again as I have recently rejoined the lifestyle after a wee break.
But as many write in here it isnt easy to figure out how to behave in here. As we are all different and looking for different things its a puzzle to match up.
As I am now trying to rejoin the fab people in the Club in abz I have tried to get to know the people in the chat. (which I as a Norwegian has problems with undrstanding) I have tried to join sosials. But sadly it got canceled but it wasnt the organizers fault.
I have tried to message on the forum and mails to fellow fabbers. Without any luck.
Its easy to start to wonder if there is something wrong with u since everyone either ignore u or decline your offer to get to know yourself or meet for a sosial.
Not to complain but I am afraid for I am putted into the category as being a timewaster when in real time I am not and will do my best to meet up.
But normal sosial curtesy applies in here and if you cant meet up. Why do you then ask?
So I hope there will be a new sosical soon so I can meet up with fellow fabbers in or close to abz.
Me and my best friend is deff up to attend if we are both free on that day.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best Policy BE YOURSELF
some people will hopefully like it, some will unfortunately not like it
its just like normal life
Unfortunately for me, most people don't like it,
away fur a greeeeet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Best Policy BE YOURSELF
some people will hopefully like it, some will unfortunately not like it
its just like normal life
Unfortunately for me, most people don't like it,
away fur a greeeeet"
I agree with this Donkey..
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