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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think its time that fab. Had a section on members who don't show for first meets we have been let down twice. Once r took time off his work to meet someone. Who never showed. Thoughts. Jackn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's only my 2p worth, no offence intended but a name and shame type thing wouldn't work as there's always 3 sides to a story. One person's definition of a timewaster may be very different to the truth.
On an aside, I'd never take time off work for a meet with someone I'd not met before. To me, real life comes first and I only arrange fun when I've nowt else to get up to
Hope things get better for you though xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for verified only?
So how the heck would anyone that is unverified or new to the site ever get verfied if everyone went with that ideal? Have to say that sentence is very short sighted.
I am pretty sure there are as many time wasters that are verified and some unverifoed people that wouldnt waste peoples time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think in all the time we have been in the scene we have only ever had one now show, which we found out several days later was genuine. Had a few last minute cancelations, most genuine too.
You just have to develop a good selection process that suits you.
Phone calls, texts, msn chats, only look at verified profiles, ask to see hidden verifications, all will help to ease your and their minds.
Good luck.
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for verified only?
So how the heck would anyone that is unverified or new to the site ever get verfied if everyone went with that ideal? Have to say that sentence is very short sighted.
I am pretty sure there are as many time wasters that are verified and some unverifoed people that wouldnt waste peoples time."
Most genuine people, male, female or couples can get verified within minutes. The first step is to get photo verified by admin. Then get into the chat rooms for a few days, and am sure if asked, someone that has spoken to you several times with verify they have seen you on cam.
Been verified is generally seen as as proof or near prrof that the person on the profile is a female or a couple, rather than a single guy pretending. There isn't as much necessity for a singe guy to get verified, just for others to show that they are NOT single guys.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, just the way it is.
S
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Go for verified only?
So how the heck would anyone that is unverified or new to the site ever get verfied if everyone went with that ideal? Have to say that sentence is very short sighted.
I am pretty sure there are as many time wasters that are verified and some unverifoed people that wouldnt waste peoples time."
newbies who do want to meet go to socials, get in chat and get themselves known.
the profiles not verified and been on for a while, maybe 3 lines of texts, a million friends = pic collector, married guys tugging when wifie in bed, or guys who bottle it, they speak a good game about gangbangs etc etc but when it comes down to it....
so until they are are more experienced at selecting ... it may suit them to select verified only.
not that short sighted really.
just a way of funnelling down the masses.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time wasters always have been and always will be part n parcel of the swinging scene... U need to develop ur techniques on how to lessen the chances of being caught out as much.
Name n shame won't work as there's always more than one side to a story ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry but chatting in the chatroom and going on cam proves nothing when it comes to not wasting someones time when it comes to a meet up.
If that is the way people feel that makes them genuine then fair enough, but I wonder how many people have been stood up or let down by people that have got their verifications etc.
I for instance dont have a cam anymore, the people I have met have since left site hence no written verification so should I be deemed as a timewaster? Because I am not and if I am offered the chance of a meet I will take it and not let anyone down but I dont seem to meet the criteria of so many because I dont cam or go into chat or have hidden verifications. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Sorry but chatting in the chatroom and going on cam proves nothing when it comes to not wasting someones time when it comes to a meet up.
If that is the way people feel that makes them genuine then fair enough, but I wonder how many people have been stood up or let down by people that have got their verifications etc.
I for instance dont have a cam anymore, the people I have met have since left site hence no written verification so should I be deemed as a timewaster? Because I am not and if I am offered the chance of a meet I will take it and not let anyone down but I dont seem to meet the criteria of so many because I dont cam or go into chat or have hidden verifications."
but you are verified... ok the text isnt there.
now the odds of you being genuine against someone who isn't verified..
are they the same, more or less? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I point blank refuse to use cam or chat and have never been to a social (yes, there are hundreds of us out there y'know!) Doesn't mean a thing to me if the people i meet use them; doesn't make them better people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to say its part of game we play, as you say there’s two side to a story, we have all been let down in some way, things can change and people have to live, so sometimes you have to do what you’ve got to do ,its all part of the game.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people take any advice given to the OP as a personal dig to them, just cos you may not or may not want to do x,y or z doesn't mean it's an attack on you personally or otherwise. Where did anyone say that those that used cams were better people? They didn't.
The OP asked a valid question and people are suggesting ways of minimising the chances of been stood up etc. None are fool proof but all these things added together help many people on here to judge who isn't or is a fake, time waster or a player.
There are thousands of people on here that use their own instincts along with using the tools that the site give them (verified profiles, webcams to name just two) and never ever have a problem with getting meets nor having time wasters or no shows.
If you don't want to go on cam then that's cool, if people don't want to meet you cos they insist on a cam veri then one could say that's their loss. You do what you feel happy with as I'm sure the OP will, all we are trying to do as a 'community' is guide them and others reading on a few pointers to help them on their journey.
S.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Didn't take anything as a personal attack. (Thicker skinned than that!) My point is that 'meeting' someone in chat/on cam doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility of them letting you down or pissing you off when it comes to turning up up - or not - for a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Didn't take anything as a personal attack. (Thicker skinned than that!) My point is that 'meeting' someone in chat/on cam doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility of them letting you down or pissing you off when it comes to turning up up - or not - for a meet. "
Defiantly not, just another tool in the box for helping us all out.
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By *utieguyMan
over a year ago
motherwell |
sadly wasters will always be part and parcel of life. to be fair to date on the site I've been lucky with meets and all been 100% gen - although many wasters on the mailing side & u just need to be pretty careful and drum up some good convo's 1st before arranging anything - just my 2p worth xxx
Good luck to all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But its like I said before you can be verified and have a list of verifications as long as your arm, you could still be a timewaster.
I personally am not a timewaster and if I am lucky enough (fuck Id have better luck on the lottery jackpot) to get a meet on this site then I will show up. Even if I had been lucky enough to have a few meets, who says I want to plaster it all over my profile as well. Its all personal taste and to be honest I would be less likely to meet someone that has meet after meet after meet listed.
I know for a fact I am a nice guy, I will treat anyone I meet with respect, but I am a single guy on fab so instantly at a disadvantage. Add to that I dont go into chat and know all the regulars that post on the forums and generally get ingnored on here. Sometimes it amazes me on the rigid way people seem to be on assessing people and judging before knowing and just because someone doesnt have a green tick doesnt make them any less genuine than you or me or anyone else on here all they need is to be given a chance, if they blow it then fair enough, but there are way to many sweeping generalisations banded about on this site. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"But its like I said before you can be verified and have a list of verifications as long as your arm, you could still be a timewaster.
I personally am not a timewaster and if I am lucky enough (fuck Id have better luck on the lottery jackpot) to get a meet on this site then I will show up. Even if I had been lucky enough to have a few meets, who says I want to plaster it all over my profile as well. Its all personal taste and to be honest I would be less likely to meet someone that has meet after meet after meet listed.
I know for a fact I am a nice guy, I will treat anyone I meet with respect, but I am a single guy on fab so instantly at a disadvantage. Add to that I dont go into chat and know all the regulars that post on the forums and generally get ingnored on here. Sometimes it amazes me on the rigid way people seem to be on assessing people and judging before knowing and just because someone doesnt have a green tick doesnt make them any less genuine than you or me or anyone else on here all they need is to be given a chance, if they blow it then fair enough, but there are way to many sweeping generalisations banded about on this site."
well I am sure folks will read this, see that you are genuine and hope you get lots of fun as a result.
a question was asked... and I answered with my opinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But why should time wasters be aloud to ruin. Honest swingers fun. "
Timewasters will only ruin it for you if you let them.
Forget about them, concentrate on the decent folk, there are loads about and most importantly have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure that most meets are arranged in good faith but with all the best intentions there's no counting for things that can happen to foul up a meet. Travel problems, health, babysitter not turning up etc etc, that's just life, sh*t happens. Just need to accept it for what it is and move on.
If someone is deliberately wasting peoples time they will get found out sooner or later, what goes around comes around.
As a relative new guy I've noticed its hard enough to get a meet without a proper verification and telling folks just to meet verified members would only exacerbate the situation. Making it an unwelcoming clique that new members would soon just leave. That would be a nail in the coffin if you ask me.
Don't mean to flame the topic just my opinion.
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I'm sure that most meets are arranged in good faith but with all the best intentions there's no counting for things that can happen to foul up a meet. Travel problems, health, babysitter not turning up etc etc, that's just life, sh*t happens. Just need to accept it for what it is and move on.
If someone is deliberately wasting peoples time they will get found out sooner or later, what goes around comes around.
As a relative new guy I've noticed its hard enough to get a meet without a proper verification and telling folks just to meet verified members would only exacerbate the situation. Making it an unwelcoming clique that new members would soon just leave. That would be a nail in the coffin if you ask me.
Don't mean to flame the topic just my opinion.
"
firstly welcome.
You photo verified I assume to prove your genuineness... was that before your meet or after.
and glad you are enjoying the site and had a meet within 3 weeks.
there is no golden bullet... photo verification, socials, chat, verification by phone etc etc will NEVER stop timewasters, I use timewaster in the context of intentionally wasting a persons time, it just minimises it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks for your welcome.
Photo verified day I joined.
Understood your meaning. Unfortunately no matter what gets done there will always be some clown who gets a kick out of messing with people and probably loving this thread into the bargain. The scene will always be open to abuse but we shouldn't let the spoilers force change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i must be lucky , i have never had a timewaster yet , and i actually dislike the term immensely , if someone doesnt show up without previously cancelling the meet that to me is just downright bad manners , my way of going about things is , never rush into a meet no matter how desperate the other party is too meet , take it slowly , chat a bit , by phone , in chat room , by pm on site or go in the new chat and pm there , take your time , if the person ur meeting is genuine they will wait , get to know someone as u would in real life , dont come here with a preconcieved idea that folks will meet u at the drop of a hat , if someone is genuine they will understand the reasons you want to find out a bit about them , if they cant do these things to make me feel comfortable before meeting then they arent worth the bother of a meet , so use ur own instincts , trust ur own judgement and above all dont rush into anything , social meet for a cuppa is much less scary than the thought u have to put out , be honest folks and if folks do the same with you we will all be happier swingers , works for me.
happy swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A timewaster is as has been said, someone or people who purposely set out to con you with the right up to the very bloomin point you should be stood or sat at X meeting point and so should they,saying hello and greeting one another, but Hello! They aint there!
Been said in previous threads, all other circs,where the meets had to be postponed, put off, cancelled with i hope a polite communication to let all concerned know.should'nt get anyone a "timewaster" tag.
Have had to in the past do the polite "sorry but" style message and it has been met with either an understanding reply or a clinical block.
The groovy thing is, the "understandings" generally meet later and prove to be super fun sexy swinging friends,the "blocks",well you take it as a blessing in disguise i guess,lol
T xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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talk about time wasting even b4 u arrange a meet? for instance it appears to me those who have the constant "meet today" section fail to respond to a msg and they are sitting there (it seems) online well into the time the meet should have been, but u rarely see any new verifies....so I'm saying they are timewasters and its just pretty impolite to READ a msg thats been sent with the requirements, and not even answer back?- in fact now I think of it...i can only think of one meet ive made using the meetme thing..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the meet today thingy not very helpful, and get either no responses or people that would not suit our criteria, therefore i do not respond. Does this make me a timewaster because i read their profiles, it doesn't match and therefore not reply back to thier wink or (short) mail?
We normally chat to folk and only after a long chat do we normally meet someone. Occasionally, very occasionally do we do a quickie meet with someone we havent chatted to much, but only after checking their profiles, reading verifications, checking prv pics, and seeing any forum threads they have posted.
We have never had a timewaster issue. Only had 1 meet ever cancelled on us, but by a v genuine couple that we have met before, and have cancelled maybe twice ourselves for very genuine reasons, with the same couple.
My opinion, vet the person(s) as much as is humanly possible, and be careful. Nothing is 100% guaranteed on the site. |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
have never used the meet today section either postin or communicatin with someone on it to arrange meets now if they had a meet this year i might use that lol thankfully however we have never been let down by so called timewasters dont know if we are lucky or if the fact we try to get to know people better b4 meetin has helped  |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
"this site is geting full off them now "
I wouldnt quite go that far i think site its mostly full of genuine fun loving people up for a gd time with people they are attracted to and real timewasters are few and far between |
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