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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes |
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Mickey and Minni mouse were in court to get a divorce .
The judge said to Mickey you cant divorce her just because she has buck teeth .
Mickey said thats not why Im divorcing her Im divorcing here because shes fucking Goofy  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mickey and Minni mouse were in court to get a divorce .
The judge said to Mickey you cant divorce her just because she has buck teeth .
Mickey said thats not why Im divorcing her Im divorcing here because shes fucking Goofy "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.
Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.
Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea"
Keep the dollar, I'll take the rest |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"lol very good gas 
.
Although I find those damn pine needles to be the biggest nuisance in the forest
Get a picnic mat  "
.
When did you come over all organised andy lmao |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"lol very good gas
.
Although I find those damn pine needles to be the biggest nuisance in the forest
Get a picnic mat
.
When did you come over all organised andy lmao "
Always keep 2 in the car.....one has a plastic back, one is a blanket   |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"lol very good gas
.
Although I find those damn pine needles to be the biggest nuisance in the forest
Get a picnic mat
.
When did you come over all organised andy lmao
Always keep 2 in the car.....one has a plastic back, one is a blanket "
.
can I borrow your car |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"lol very good gas
.
Although I find those damn pine needles to be the biggest nuisance in the forest
Get a picnic mat
.
When did you come over all organised andy lmao
Always keep 2 in the car.....one has a plastic back, one is a blanket
.
can I borrow your car "
Only until I get my new one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A horse walks into a bar and th barman says "Hey buddy: why the long face?"
The horse, being unable to answer him as it is a simple farm animal, turns around awkwardly, knocking a glass of Guinness over, and shits on the floor. |
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