FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Really trying to find a girl to share
Really trying to find a girl to share
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Well they do exist.....I've met a few.....but persuading them is a whole different thing...
Personally I think....Some as easily lead astray  "
I agree, but it's proving that to this lovely young couple so they keep looking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe think of it as the 3 of you having fun, rather than finding a girl for you 2.
good luck"
My thoughts exactly.......hence why it can be so hard for couples to find that....can be very off putting for the single girl. |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"maybe think of it as the 3 of you having fun, rather than finding a girl for you 2.
good luck
My thoughts exactly.......hence why it can be so hard for couples to find that....can be very off putting for the single girl. "
We don't find it difficult as we put our guests first and that is what the lady is, not a sex slave.
Perhaps you should consider using an essort xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Were looking for that elusive bi fem as well.the Mrs is very curious I'm only involved in a watching capacity.and its just as hard with couples because the men don't really get involved any tips on this. |
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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"Were looking for that elusive bi fem as well.the Mrs is very curious I'm only involved in a watching capacity.and its just as hard with couples because the men don't really get involved any tips on this."
Can she not meet on her own then, if your not involved? It's quite off putting having an audience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its been a fantasy of ours for a few years now.but I do understand what your saying I suppose were looking for a bi fem that likes being watched
No wonder were not getting anywhere.cheers for the advice |
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"maybe think of it as the 3 of you having fun, rather than finding a girl for you 2.
good luck"
Exactly why I personally don't meet couples and have blocked a few they seem to forget the bi-woman and its all about them and what they want  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I see where your comeing from but if I only watch and don't take part in anyway. I would have thought the female would basically just be having a one to one meet.
Maybe a few pic,s taken.
Also she would be made very welcome and treated as such. |
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"Yeah I see where your comeing from but if I only watch and don't take part in anyway. I would have thought the female would basically just be having a one to one meet.
Maybe a few pic,s taken.
Also she would be made very welcome and treated as such."
Would you like a stranger to come into your home and take pics of you and your partner or as would be more the case take pics of you and a stranger !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there was an attraction and everyone concerned was happy to have pics taken I wouldn't have a problem if a stranger took some pic,s.
I've seen loads of photos on fab where clearly those in the throws of passion so to speak clearly are not holding the camera |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe think of it as the 3 of you having fun, rather than finding a girl for you 2.
good luck"
lol View
That was so Intellectually Put
Typical of you, eh
some guy, ma mucker
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I see where your comeing from but if I only watch and don't take part in anyway. I would have thought the female would basically just be having a one to one meet.
Maybe a few pic,s taken.
Also she would be made very welcome and treated as such.
Would you like a stranger to come into your home and take pics of you and your partner or as would be more the case take pics of you and a stranger !!"
I love pics and videos with permission  |
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"Once again I agree everyone involved would have to be aware and comfortable with pic,s being taken.also they would be treated with the utmost respect"
Try going to gay bars. I found there's a good mix of people and the gay community is very open minded and extremely friendly. It's better meeting someone face to face than over the net. It's very hard to get your personality across with just a few words xx |
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"If anyone can let us know it would be great.we really never knew about this cheers that might just be the answer "
The rusty nail is a lgbt bar I just Googled it l. Hope it helps if nit treat your lady to a hotel and go out in glasgow. I went to the riding rooms it's a cocktail bar with a downstairs night club. Easily in my top 10 nights out xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That,s brilliant I think your right as it is easier in person to get your intentions across to someone that catches the eye so to speak.
I think a wee night in Glasgow could be fab thanks for letting us know.
Feeling more optimistic now |
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"That,s brilliant I think your right as it is easier in person to get your intentions across to someone that catches the eye so to speak.
I think a wee night in Glasgow could be fab thanks for letting us know.
Feeling more optimistic now "
Your welcome, make sure to come back on let us know if it works out for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has anyone on fab been to the rusty nail in Ayr? If so could you let me know what you thought the place.if its any good.any re_iews would be appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Consider myself bi curious. I get a lot of
Messages from couples. Mainly male who contacts me. This makes me think its really for the male not the female. Mane better if the female contacts them. Often wonder if its just to fulfil the male halfs fantasy ??? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
You may struggle on fab.
I'm a single bi fem who meets couples and other single ladies, and some men too.
I would not allow strangers to take pictures of me, and am not a performer so a male just watching would be a no thanks, as in my experience (of about 20 years now of being actively bi and meeting) a fella not playing is often a sign of jealousy, or of one being pressured into it. Not for me.
Your not after a profile re_iew, but perhaps look at it from a ladies point of _iew and see if you really sell yourselves in the best light... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant argue with you as you have experience in these matters.but there's certainly no jealousy or my Mrs forced to do this in anyway.
Its her idea we joined fab its mostly for her I would enjoy watching.what guy wouldn't. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I cant argue with you as you have experience in these matters.but there's certainly no jealousy or my Mrs forced to do this in anyway.
Its her idea we joined fab its mostly for her I would enjoy watching.what guy wouldn't."
Whilst I understand what you're saying, don't you think any lady that wants to meet your wife may end up feeling a bit like a performing seal?
I realise that's not your intention in the slightest, but it may make the lady feel a little self concious. Just a thought.
I was part of a swinging couple once and whilst we had a couple of ladies that used to join us, it was to join US, not her with me watching. If they wanted time alone, it was when I was at work.
Just a thought......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good advice m8 thanks we will take it on board we have been very naive expecting to much by the look of it.
You live and learn I said earlier that going to a gay bar is probably our only real option. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Good advice m8 thanks we will take it on board we have been very naive expecting to much by the look of it.
You live and learn I said earlier that going to a gay bar is probably our only real option."
Honestly, I don't think it's your only option.....just slow down and realise that bi ladies want to play with both of you. If Mrs just wants to play with them alone.....then you two will have to sit down and discuss it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are right about it we spoke about it last night.
But to be honest her confidence has taken a battering because of this.
We just need to see if fab is right for us. |
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"You are right about it we spoke about it last night.
But to be honest her confidence has taken a battering because of this.
We just need to see if fab is right for us."
I can understand that. I went years wanting to but could never find someone. The longer it went the less confident I became and the less I wanted to do it. Then just like buses two came at once, well a few weeks apart lol.
It will hapoen one day but from what I've been reading on another simular thread most couples only ever get to do a mff once or twice in their life time.
I would also try singers clubs as well as fab and gay bars.
Good luck xx
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
If only couples only MFF once or twice in their lifetime, I'd like to apologise to the couples where I have obviously stolen their share When I was meeting as a couple, we had numerous MFFs - its about approaching single ladies as someone lovely and special, not to tick off a couple fantasy, be used or shared... its about mutual play, fun and satisfaction. Indeed when I was a couple, most of the single ladies came back for more, so must have been doing something right - but it was before I was on fab.
As a single lady now, I very rarely find couples on here I'd like to play with (there are a few diamonds though!) as some couples seem quite predatory, and often refuse a social first.
If Mrs Shire is feeling bruised and battered, step back from fab, or find a local social - you are near enough to glasgow which has an active social scene... get along to a few and get to meet people - face to face! It may also help if you can get to a social meet people, and then she might want to play one to one with a female, who then after feeling more comfortable with the situation, *might* consent to being watched. I did meet a couple a few years ago that this happened - but first I met them both socially, then I met her solo a few times first so we were both at ease playing, and then her husband was allowed to watch. Over the year or so I met her, he eventually played too.
Fab is not good for anyones ego and self confidence if it is already wobbly. It doesn't work that way, even as a single lady. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah everything you said does make sense.however it was no way in our intention to treat a lady as a piece of meat.
Once again I must stress it has been our total naivety in what to expect from fab.
We have taken alot of the advice given in the forum now its back to the drawing board.
And to any females we have offended in anyway we are sincerely sorry |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Yeah everything you said does make sense.however it was no way in our intention to treat a lady as a piece of meat.
Once again I must stress it has been our total naivety in what to expect from fab.
We have taken alot of the advice given in the forum now its back to the drawing board.
And to any females we have offended in anyway we are sincerely sorry"
I don't think you have done anything offensive to single ladies, just perhaps will find quite a few have already decided that you wouldn't be compatible.
Good luck going back to the drawing board. It can be an odd place, and it does constantly evolve, so your profile should too. Mine is nowhere close to the profile I had 5 years ago! |
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"If only couples only MFF once or twice in their lifetime, I'd like to apologise to the couples where I have obviously stolen their share When I was meeting as a couple, we had numerous MFFs - its about approaching single ladies as someone lovely and special, not to tick off a couple fantasy, be used or shared... its about mutual play, fun and satisfaction. Indeed when I was a couple, most of the single ladies came back for more, so must have been doing something right - but it was before I was on fab.
As a single lady now, I very rarely find couples on here I'd like to play with (there are a few diamonds though!) as some couples seem quite predatory, and often refuse a social first.
If Mrs Shire is feeling bruised and battered, step back from fab, or find a local social - you are near enough to glasgow which has an active social scene... get along to a few and get to meet people - face to face! It may also help if you can get to a social meet people, and then she might want to play one to one with a female, who then after feeling more comfortable with the situation, *might* consent to being watched. I did meet a couple a few years ago that this happened - but first I met them both socially, then I met her solo a few times first so we were both at ease playing, and then her husband was allowed to watch. Over the year or so I met her, he eventually played too.
Fab is not good for anyones ego and self confidence if it is already wobbly. It doesn't work that way, even as a single lady."
Great post  |
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Trying to find a girl to share is not the most appealing invite for a single bi female.
It should always be about mutual satisfaction not about someone filling your sexual fantasy.
It's very intimidating joining a couple as an outsider so you have to make that female feel she's there for mutual satisfaction too and not just a spare commodity to your sex life.
Treat her special,make her feel special and I'm sure you will reap the rewards she has to offer.
As a bisexual female myself I don't want to be the star attraction to the guys fantasy in watching his Mrs with another female I want to be part of a whole sexual experience involving both the male and female because all to often it's the guys fantasy and not both.
Sometimes when your with a females who's not truly bi it's very off putting knowing they feel so uncomfortable and only doing it for their partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once again I agree with what your saying. But this was my wife's idea she's always been curious but with three kids we never had time to act on any fantasies we had.
When she told me that it would be a massive turn me watching her pleasure a woman.
I was like most men would be and couldn't beleive my luck lol.so we joined fab now the kids are away.beleive me the only porn that gets her really exited is girl on girl.
We have been together 16 years now and I know she's not putting on a show for me.
We speak about it often we've been on a couple of months now and its starting to get frustrating |
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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"Once again I agree with what your saying. But this was my wife's idea she's always been curious but with three kids we never had time to act on any fantasies we had.
When she told me that it would be a massive turn me watching her pleasure a woman.
I was like most men would be and couldn't beleive my luck lol.so we joined fab now the kids are away.beleive me the only porn that gets her really exited is girl on girl.
We have been together 16 years now and I know she's not putting on a show for me.
We speak about it often we've been on a couple of months now and its starting to get frustrating "
If she wants you to watch her pleasuring a woman then it is putting on a show for you |
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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
Everyone on the site is looking for different things so there's no reason why you couldn't find a woman to meet with you both.
Also have you considered meeting a couple? There are couples on here only looking for the woman to play together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah we have tried this but that's asking for a performance anyway.but we will keep trying anyway you never know but I'm thinking a bar might be the best solution.
We totally understand that it must be very difficult for a single fem in this situation |
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"Once again I agree with what your saying. But this was my wife's idea she's always been curious but with three kids we never had time to act on any fantasies we had.
When she told me that it would be a massive turn me watching her pleasure a woman.
I was like most men would be and couldn't beleive my luck lol.so we joined fab now the kids are away.beleive me the only porn that gets her really exited is girl on girl.
We have been together 16 years now and I know she's not putting on a show for me.
We speak about it often we've been on a couple of months now and its starting to get frustrating "
If I may be so bold as to suggest that you may say that you agree with the sensible words from the ladies above, but it's coming across as though you're not really prepared to change your approach.
Your last sentence on that post speaks volumes to me. I'm not looking for people so that I can satisfy their frustrations. I look for people who I have a connection with. People who are interested in me, not what I can provide. I'm not here to be used as some sort of service to a couple. Whilst I don't need to be 'treated to nights out' etc. I do want to be treated as a person rather than a facilitator.
We appear in the most part to be unicorns. We're not. There are lots of us but the couples who seem to recognise the best way of achieving the illusive FFM are those who realise there are three equals in the equation. |
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Try a club or social mingle a little bit with no pressure to play and just meet people, learn a little about the scene and how it works. I do think people join fabs and expect meets to happen almost straight away where as in reality it can take time. Confidence can need built as well as realism etc, take time and let things happen naturally rather than pushing and ending up being in a situation where you give up before it even begins. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've taken all the advice given.when the Mrs gets home tonight we will re do our profile.and take it from there.lets hope everyone gets to have fun once again sorry if the ladies think were only here for our selfish needs
We want all parties to enjoy what hopefully will be a night or two we all remember with a grin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex ....
I said that innocently ..i feel aw embarrassed now ..
Your a bit forward aren't you  I can't believe your on here looking for sex. Well there will be none of that carry on here  "
My apologies if i may be too direct lol ..
I dont really expect Sex ..just endless coffee meets lol
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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
"Sex ....
I said that innocently ..i feel aw embarrassed now ..
Your a bit forward aren't you I can't believe your on here looking for sex. Well there will be none of that carry on here
My apologies if i may be too direct lol ..
I dont really expect Sex ..just endless coffee meets lol
"
Too much coffee is bad for your health. I would watch out  |
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"We've taken all the advice given.when the Mrs gets home tonight we will re do our profile.and take it from there.lets hope everyone gets to have fun once again sorry if the ladies think were only here for our selfish needs
We want all parties to enjoy what hopefully will be a night or two we all remember with a grin"
Wish you all the best with your search! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex ....
I said that innocently ..i feel aw embarrassed now ..
Your a bit forward aren't you I can't believe your on here looking for sex. Well there will be none of that carry on here
My apologies if i may be too direct lol ..
I dont really expect Sex ..just endless coffee meets lol
Too much coffee is bad for your health. I would watch out "
Now ya presume i drink coffee lol x
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"You may struggle on fab.
I'm a single bi fem who meets couples and other single ladies, and some men too.
I would not allow strangers to take pictures of me, and am not a performer so a male just watching would be a no thanks, as in my experience (of about 20 years now of being actively bi and meeting) a fella not playing is often a sign of jealousy, or of one being pressured into it. Not for me.
Your not after a profile re_iew, but perhaps look at it from a ladies point of _iew and see if you really sell yourselves in the best light..."
More or less what I have said totally agree lady xxx |
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Good luck with that! 