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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When you spend time with someone. Chat more then the feelings kick in. They has stronger feelings that you. So they back off completely.
Such mine fields trying to balance the Nsa and not been cold hearted .
Who eles has went through this ?: |
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I never mix up feelings with strong friendships but have had others mistake my strong friendship for something more than it ever was.
And yes I've changed my thoughts of someone and backed off when this has happened.
Same goes in reverse when you think someone isn't as into as you thought then a friendship can change too.
It's all about getting the balance right and reminding yourself why we're all here.  |
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I learned my lesson. I spent first year on here just hooking up. my idea of social was meet them for a quick drink and decide if I would meet again to hook up and not getting to know anyone and had no drama.
seriously think that was best way most the time now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person  |
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"If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person "
spot on and more often than not that caring nature is what's often taken advantage of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person spot on and more often than not that caring nature is what's often taken advantage of "
Very true
Nothing worse than caring for someone then end up feeling used |
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"If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person spot on and more often than not that caring nature is what's often taken advantage of
Very true
Nothing worse than caring for someone then end up feeling used "
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I thought long and hard about coming back for this exact reason. Met a guy both got on great met regularly then he said the "L" word not what I wanted or given any indication that's what I wanted and ended up feeling really bad. He turned really nasty and spiteful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person spot on and more often than not that caring nature is what's often taken advantage of
Very true
Nothing worse than caring for someone then end up feeling used "
|
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I can't do completely no strings, there needs to be an element of friendship there too. I don't enjoy random hook-ups at all.
This can lead to feelings getting mixed but now I find that I'm deliberately drawn to men who I wouldn't see as a potential "love interest".
I'd always pick a man who I like as a person more than someone I could potentially fall for.
If that makes sense......
If I think that someone is developing feelings (or if I thought I was) then I'd break off contact.
Sounds hard but i think it's necessary in the swinging world  |
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Yes i have experienced that where a fb developed feelings and wanted more than i could or wanted. Things soured for months and only really got back after she started dating another
You can try and fight feeling but sometimes you just have to give in and admit you have them as hiding them can start you living a lie and make you unhappy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So hard to be cold hearted and not care. But beginning to think its the only way it works to cut of all feelings . ??"
When caring is a natural instinct it is hard. You can only do so much before it breaks you |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"I can't do completely no strings, there needs to be an element of friendship there too. I don't enjoy random hook-ups at all.
This can lead to feelings getting mixed but now I find that I'm deliberately drawn to men who I wouldn't see as a potential "love interest".
I'd always pick a man who I like as a person more than someone I could potentially fall for.
If that makes sense......
If I think that someone is developing feelings (or if I thought I was) then I'd break off contact.
Sounds hard but i think it's necessary in the swinging world "
Are you a female version of me lmao ..couldnt have explained it better  |
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"I can't do completely no strings, there needs to be an element of friendship there too. I don't enjoy random hook-ups at all.
This can lead to feelings getting mixed but now I find that I'm deliberately drawn to men who I wouldn't see as a potential "love interest".
I'd always pick a man who I like as a person more than someone I could potentially fall for.
If that makes sense......
If I think that someone is developing feelings (or if I thought I was) then I'd break off contact.
Sounds hard but i think it's necessary in the swinging world
Are you a female version of me lmao ..couldnt have explained it better "
A truly terrifying thought.......  xxx |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"I can't do completely no strings, there needs to be an element of friendship there too. I don't enjoy random hook-ups at all.
This can lead to feelings getting mixed but now I find that I'm deliberately drawn to men who I wouldn't see as a potential "love interest".
I'd always pick a man who I like as a person more than someone I could potentially fall for.
If that makes sense......
If I think that someone is developing feelings (or if I thought I was) then I'd break off contact.
Sounds hard but i think it's necessary in the swinging world
Are you a female version of me lmao ..couldnt have explained it better
A truly terrifying thought....... xxx"
  |
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"Sadly the shoe has always been on the other foot for me. I've fallen they haven't. As such from now on there will be no emotions for me "
I think it's about protecting yourself. I work in a very emotive industry (without giving too much away) and I've developed a very thick skin and a way of distancing myself and I tend to apply that to my "swinging life".
It's all about finding a method of self preservation that works for you.
Always protect yourself xxx
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"If I meet someone on a regular basis I do distance myself after a time but it's the strong friendship that shines through and keeps me sane.
I have ended up in a relationship through fab and it lasted 2 years but it's not a mistake I'm going to make again lol
Its hard when you're a naturally caring person spot on and more often than not that caring nature is what's often taken advantage of
Very true
Nothing worse than caring for someone then end up feeling used "
Oh that happened to me. Made me really hard now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's always going to be a minefield if one or the other misjudges the situation. I suppose chatting about where it is going, where you want it to go, etc help - clearly trust and respect must be achieved as this is balanced against being honest so that no-one feels used. Even in friendship people should be able to say to the other to slow/calm down without causing offence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been known to be a cold hearted bitch most of my life. But for some reason . I'm been the opposite on here ???"
Why the different approach, if you don't mind me asking? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Who knows . Just know I try to.not get to close but for some reason a few people have wanted more. Then its all falls apart and it feels like been punished for them having feelings .?: |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you say complicated. I suppose it is trying to identify those feelings early on and then explaining to the other person - you shouldn't feel punished though. Yes, feelings will change, but you are still entitled to say that that is not where you want it to go. Not sure if that makes sense, sorry. |
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decided need to set myself rules lol 