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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No rules, no games...
But you get from the site what you put in to it.
There are groups of people that get on well with each other, some more/better than others... but thats their choice and right to do so.
Sorry for been blunt, but from experience, those that complain about the site, chat or forums been a clique, are generally the ones that expect everyone to come running to them and make no effort themselves.
We were all new to the site once, we all had boundaries to break to get to know folk.
Just my opinion... no offence intended
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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right who wants to be in my gang ?? 
the site is a massive place to make such a flippant comment the site consists of scotland, england, ireland and wales........
assume you mean the scots.......yup there is groups of people that get on better than others....theres the chat cliques.......the forum cliques and so on.......but hey aint that just life? every walk of life you are gonna get this.......pubs, clubs even at the fecking bingo lol.
The site is what you make it.....you have to put in to get out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate threads like this, really really really hate them.
In life you dont get on with everyone and not everyone will like you either, thats life.
This site is the same.
I moved to an area where I knew no one, so me being me I said hi to people when I walked my kids to school when I was in the shops even when I put my rubbish out. Eventually people said hi back, it wasnt much but it was a start now after 4 years I know everyone in my street and almost all the other parents from my childrens school.
I put the same effort (not much really) into the chatrooms and forums here. I got myself known and people chat to me.
Its not hard to join in the banter here in the forums or in chat, IF YOU WANT TO.
I would never expect people to chat unles I chatted to them, but it seems to me that some do expect us (the other members) to do all the work and them none of it but reap all the rewards. Life doesnt work that way nor should it.
As others have said you get back from this site (and life) what you put in.
If you whinge and stamp your foot you get ignored and blocked leading to a very short and unproductive time on this site.
If you do I did and put yourself out there you make mates and have a laugh with some fun thrown in for good measure.
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah no matter what folk say there is a clique ,,but as the others say that happens everywherer work/school/mates,,,whatever...if you dont get a reply move on to someone thats not chatting more chance of a convo lol xx
just my wee bit lol
auds xx  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
People are friendlier with some than others... reflects life.
People connect with some and not others.. reflects life.
Some people are popular and some not ... reflects life.
Some people you want to spend time with and some you don't... reflects life.
Some will be friends for life, some won't... reflects life.
Some people get jealous of perceived popularity and some don't... reflects life.
Some make the effort and some don't... reflects life.
SOME ACHIEVE AND SOME DON'T... reflects life.
You do get back what you put in.. Have seen new couples, females and guys do well on this site and all they did.. was to be patient, be nice, keep trying and don't give up after a few knock backs, don't just take..give something back... but most of all... be yourself.
On this site ... you are dammed if you do, dammed if you don't...
If you say hi to too many people... you are up your own arse..
If you don't say hi ... you are a clique.
If everyone stopped chatting and said hi to everybody who entered the chat room, the rooms would be a constant hi, hi, hi, hi.. and SOME people would complain no one chats they just say hi..
If you post in the forums too many times you are hogging the forums and saying look at me, look at me..
If you don't create threads, there would no threads to comment on, as the people who complain never START a thread.. they just complain about other people's.
The people who use chat and the forums are a small percentage of the whole site.. are we all a clique ?
NO, IT JUST REFLECTS LIFE.. some do, some don't.
Just enjoy it for what it is.. don't take it too seriously and have fun.
We all change over the years and so do our expectations.. what I was looking for a few years ago is completely different to what I seek today.. was I wrong then... absolutely NOT. The chat rooms 2/3 years ago helped me recover from mental health issues and I will always be grateful for that. It was friendship and companionship without leaving the house. And if I had to do it all again, I would.
Enjoy the site and the people you bond with, be kind to the people you don't.
The rules are the same as the ones in life.. treat people well, respect difference, forgive wrongs and judge yourself before you do others...
xxxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont know what else to say apart from what _iew said very well but as myself is still quite new compared to some i would defo say you just need to be polite and carry on till you get a few people who know you.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the comments over the last couple of days and duly noted!
Unfortunately WE believe our feelings of gently challenging what is site dynamics is akin to rampant totalitarianism.
Anyone deemed to have different _iew is besmirched and derided
We have met many people and those who know us will testify we are 100% genuine and a good laugh
Certain people have missed our point of _iew and failed to empathise that for many people the clique is alive and flourishing
Now can we have a decent discussion on this natter that takes into consideration all _iews which is balanced, reasonable and reflects the whole community
Many thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having read your original post over and over , i fail to see what point people who have already replied missed.
I for one would say there is a clique in the scotland chatroom but having said that I do not feel excluded, if you chat to any of the percieved 'popular' people they will chat back.
As for 'Rules' , yes there are rules but only the site rules that are there for everyone , not just a few and no one is above them .
As for playing the 'Game', now i fail to see what game you are referring to, the game here is the one we all play and surely that is the game of sex and fun, in order to get that one has to put in a bit of effort with people and chat with them , learn peoples sense of humour within chat and furthermore get along to the 'socials' that are widely advertised on the forum, they are a great way of getting to chat with people and meet likeminded adults.
As with every walk in life , ie work place , pub etc , you wont like everyone and everyone wont like you , some are a bit more forth coming and will approach you , others will not.
So respect others boundaries , be respectful and talk to people as you would anywhere else you are new to in life and let people get to know you and find out how much fun you can be.
Lastly , if i have missed the point as you said previously then my apologies, but as you have made an effort to post a thread here , maybe now you can make the effort as others will with you to make your experience on here what you want it to be.
Happy swinging. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
Anyone deemed to have different _iew is besmirched and derided
"
Possibly if your OP had been crafted as eloquently as your last post and not underpinned in its meaning with derision... it may have worked better.
eg... 'what are the rules and can we play' ... posted to an audience like a bunch of school kids.
I offered no offence in my original post nor in this one.
best regards
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
lol @ saucy....
To the OP....of course there are " cliques" on any chat room on the internet.
There are some in most chatrooms on here. It isn't a bad thing, it just means there are a lot of people who get on with each other and have a laugh and chat.
They were all new at some point, obviously made an effort to chat and didn't expect people to come to them. they probably just butted into peoples conversations like I do, eventually someone will answer even just to shut you up
You really do only get out what you put in.
As an aside, it normally depends on how a first post is worded as to what response you will get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just have to ask, why do people insist on calling groups of friends, on this site, that talk to their other friends, whether in chat or forums, cliques?
Is it wrong to have a group of people that know you well? a group of people that you call friends? a group of people that you chat to on a regular basis? Going by these types of posts, then yes it is utterly wrong to make friends with people.
Luckily in raven world there is me and the 17 people in my head, i dont have room for any more |
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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago
glasgow |
View and every one else who posted comments on this thread WELL DONE i talk to eveyone and allways will do on here. As im a sociable wee wumman but saying that i am basically a shy person[nae cheeky comments] .This site is good i have made loads of friends on here .Life is what u put into it so come on start talking to peep and get out off your huff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""....i might be d*unk tonight my dear
But tomorrow when you wake up you will still be ugly..."
Winston Churchill
"
Very true but perhaps a little more care with who you are calling "dear" dahling... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No rules, no games...
But you get from the site what you put in to it.
There are groups of people that get on well with each other, some more/better than others... but thats their choice and right to do so.
I agree totally
Sorry for been blunt, but from experience, those that complain about the site, chat or forums been a clique, are generally the ones that expect everyone to come running to them and make no effort themselves.
We were all new to the site once, we all had boundaries to break to get to know folk.
Just my opinion... no offence intended
S. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have read this thread right through and come back to OP my partner has been on this site for a long time and is known in chat I am a stranger in chat. What I will say the first time I went into chat on this profile people said hi and asked me how I was doing and I just started to talk away to them just as I would if I was in a pub. Yes there is people on here I can't stand but I still say hello to them and treat them the same way that I want to be treated. A clique I would say yes but it is one that invloves everyone in the chat room at the time.
People are entitled to talk if they want to that is the way they are but I have found out is that if I talk to someone they will talk back unless they have missed the message but I then normally repeat it as the room can go so fast at times.
I wish you well on the site and I am looking forward to talking to you. But as I can't watch everyone who comes in please say hi first. We don't bite and eat you up in a oner we just like a laugh with people who are just like ourselfs.
I write this and I wish also to say that I don't want to cause offence and if I have sorry I don't mean to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol where is this clique, why am I not in it lmaoooooooooooooooooooo.
Hey _iew I wish I had ur intellectualness but instead I have my own stupidity pmsl.
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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I would like to put my 2 pence worth in lol. I don't think that the problem on the site is cliques I just think that people have been on here for a long time have gone to socials etc and got to know each other so they will naturally chat more to each other. However I have always found eveyone to be very friendly in the chat rooms, the trick is to go into them often and be seen to chat and then people will remember you. As everyone has said on here you get out what you put in so maybe try a wee bit harder. Good Luck xxx
P.S Now who wants to join my clique lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We (Thistle & I) are very new to this site and have met very few people so far.
Is there a clique? I have not noticed a huge cliqueness, but yes I am sure it exists.
Mainly because of trust.
Stating the obvious here, this is a swinging site which is aimed towards the sexual needs and desires of us all. Anywhere that contains anything of a sexual nature is in general open to some form of abuse, especially when it's on line and people can disguise themselves etc.
So it takes a while for people to trust each other, friendships are born, meetings take place, people in general get to know each other over time.
Anyone new will certainly take time to gain that trust from others.
Once people start to verify newbies, and others can relax more around them, then they naturally become part of the 'clique'.
It's more realistically like an incrowd and outcrowd, and until people know they can trust and have no threat from the newbie, then it will not take long before they welcome the newbie into the incrowd.
I actually think it would be more alarming if people were accepted into the clique without verification and or showing photos of themselves.. Cliques in a lot of respects show a certain standard.
Shells xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the clique threads have taken a pounding recently.
we have'nt had a single guys are scum thread,for ages. "
latley its been cliques...chat and forum oh and not forgetting timewasters also 
i want happy, flirty friendly lets shag posts lol |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"the clique threads have taken a pounding recently.
we have'nt had a single guys are scum thread,for ages. "
I will refer you to the lounge... under marrieds .. kicking off as I type lol..
I have made a finger buffet.. pull up a seat and help yourself to chicken vol au vents... or... cheese, pineapple, silverskin onions on cocktail sticks..
retro 70's feel
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"the clique threads have taken a pounding recently.
we have'nt had a single guys are scum thread,for ages.
latley its been cliques...chat and forum oh and not forgetting timewasters also
i want happy, flirty friendly lets shag posts lol "
less moaning,of a grumpy nature,and more moaning,of a sexual nature.good call. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"the clique threads have taken a pounding recently.
we have'nt had a single guys are scum thread,for ages.
I will refer you to the lounge... under marrieds .. kicking off as I type lol..
I have made a finger buffet.. pull up a seat and help yourself to chicken vol au vents... or... cheese, pineapple, silverskin onions on cocktail sticks..
retro 70's feel
"
get us a seat then _iew.
its the married holier than thou b******* i hate.although to be honest,i'm one of them.
ps it's been ages since i had a vol au vent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Many thanks to all and sundry for waxing lyrical in their comments with many private and general posts being very supportive and encouraging
The art of effective transparency is to encourage positive dialogue
As for the vol au vonts now your talking
Now can we please draw a line under this thread and enjoy why we are on here in the first place
Cheers |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"the clique threads have taken a pounding recently.
we have'nt had a single guys are scum thread,for ages.
I will refer you to the lounge... under marrieds .. kicking off as I type lol..
I have made a finger buffet.. pull up a seat and help yourself to chicken vol au vents... or... cheese, pineapple, silverskin onions on cocktail sticks..
retro 70's feel
"
Bloody hell View, was trying to keep the married thread hidden and you go blab !!
PS vol au vents are so 1980's |
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