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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY :
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.  |
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"
Maybe you should offer this to Hollywood for the next script!
There are bound to be many more films targetted at the older audience soon with our ageing population.
"
Lmao possibly...you looking for a staring roll ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"FIFTY SHADES OF GREY :
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey. "
 |
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"FIFTY SHADES OF GREY :
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey. "
brilliant |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
SCOTTISH VERSION:
So mr grey is oot his book
noo oan film fur aw tae look
he ties up burds ther erse tae skelp
n luvs tae see thon wee lass yelp
it turns her oan this naughty stuff
tae me a think a pile o guff
if slap a did ma luvly wife
an end wid come tae ma ain life
noo christian sure looks awfy braw
when skelpin lassies ower the jaw
but try a think wi scottish lass
tae him thel hand his skinny ass
al tie ye up n whip yer bum
a pleasant sight beheld by some
but me ad tie her up n run
n head tae pub fur ma ain fun
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"SCOTTISH VERSION:
So mr grey is oot his book
noo oan film fur aw tae look
he ties up burds ther erse tae skelp
n luvs tae see thon wee lass yelp
it turns her oan this naughty stuff
tae me a think a pile o guff
if slap a did ma luvly wife
an end wid come tae ma ain life
noo christian sure looks awfy braw
when skelpin lassies ower the jaw
but try a think wi scottish lass
tae him thel hand his skinny ass
al tie ye up n whip yer bum
a pleasant sight beheld by some
but me ad tie her up n run
n head tae pub fur ma ain fun
"
Well done Roberta Burns!  |
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"
Maybe you should offer this to Hollywood for the next script!
There are bound to be many more films targetted at the older audience soon with our ageing population.
Lmao possibly...you looking for a staring roll ? "
Maybe in the middle aged version! |
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"
Maybe you should offer this to Hollywood for the next script!
There are bound to be many more films targetted at the older audience soon with our ageing population.
Lmao possibly...you looking for a staring roll ?
Maybe in the middle aged version!"
Lol |
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