FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > How long do you chat before meeting??..
How long do you chat before meeting??..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been told several times that i take too long to meet people and these people tend to not want to wait that long. I normally like to chat to someone for a few weeks before meeting them. Even if we get on great via messaging. Is this too long? Or not long enough???  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been told several times that i take too long to meet people and these people tend to not want to wait that long. I normally like to chat to someone for a few weeks before meeting them. Even if we get on great via messaging. Is this too long? Or not long enough??? xx"
no babe that's quite fine it will take me two weeks to get there anyways lol  |
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I like to get to know someone before meeting but sometimes you just know there is a click there and if it feels right I will meet as soon as maybe a week of chatting other times it can be longer.
My attitude to swinging has changed since when I first joined so if it feels right why wait? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can take us quite a while but usually that's more down to being able to find mutually agreeable time rather than anything else. We've got people on our friends list that we've chatted to on and off for a year and a half without having had the chance to meet yet. But we will...
I agree with Koala, this isn't just all about the woman, especially if we're talking couples. Of course being gentlemanly is right and proper but everyone has to have their self worth and opinion and not just jump when a woman says it's alright to.
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By *ee-deeWoman
over a year ago
The Kingdom |
Just depends ...ive met some really quickly, others ive chatted to for a while before meeting and also stayed friends with some since first joining fab (which is years ago lol) and have only recently started meeting them ...making up for lost time now though haha ...good things come to those who wait so they say!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tend to chat for a while. Although I've had the odd quick meet but tend to do a lot of chatting /flirting a while before.
By the time it comes to the actual meet wow it was worth the chatting  |
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"The chatting is, to us, part of the gig, as long as it moves in the right direction. No timescales, but if it becomes stale, then there's your first signal."
I know what you mean about chat going stale sometimes you chat too much and the excitement of meeting just fizzles out.
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It really depends. I have met after 3 quick messages & a phone call over the period of about an hour. I've also chatted for over a month before meeting. It really depends on the situation, the people & the moment. |
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Well we're all different so I suppose it's up to the individual / couple but we usually exchange a couple of emails then ask if they want to meet up for a chat.
One face to face meet and chat is worth a hundred emails or texts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suppose it depends how everyone feels, no right or wrong.
It may also be slightly different for couples as you have the security of someone you know being there.
Some we've chatted to for ages others are same day spur of the moment meets.
As long as everyone's happy, don't feel pressured.
Dx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would only suggest trusting your own gut feelings, can't imagine you'd be completely comfortable in feeling rushed by someone else. Why someone would feel qualified to question your approach would be more of an issue for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The chatting is, to us, part of the gig, as long as it moves in the right direction. No timescales, but if it becomes stale, then there's your first signal.I know what you mean about chat going stale sometimes you chat too much and the excitement of meeting just fizzles out. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cheers for the response guys. I guess there is no right or wrong at end of day. I just get put off by guys constantly asking me when I'm free cause I see that as "pushy". Only because I don't have much time to play  . But yeah never thought about the excitement fizzling out after chatting for a while. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been told several times that i take too long to meet people and these people tend to not want to wait that long. I normally like to chat to someone for a few weeks before meeting them. Even if we get on great via messaging. Is this too long? Or not long enough??? xx"
No that is not long at all I leave it longer mostly I find if they stop chatting and then not replying they have lost interest.. for me they were never worth it so its lucky I didn't go there stick to how you feel about how much time you should take to meet if they are inpatient then that is their problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that it should take as long as it takes for you to feel confortable in meeting folk. If they loose interest then they were not worth meeting anyway. I've no idea why people think because it's a swinging site that meets should be immediate or have a time limit. I've chatted (and still chat to folk) that have no intention of meeting me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I concur with majority here
Quickest was 20 minutes trading messages then jumped in car and set out to meet
Longest......LMFAO not going to believe this but I've been chatting to lady on here in and off for nearly 7 years both message and on phone but we have never actually met |
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By *yan19Man
over a year ago
NLC |
"I've been told several times that i take too long to meet people and these people tend to not want to wait that long. I normally like to chat to someone for a few weeks before meeting them. Even if we get on great via messaging. Is this too long? Or not long enough??? xx No that is not long at all I leave it longer mostly I find if they stop chatting and then not replying they have lost interest.. for me they were never worth it so its lucky I didn't go there stick to how you feel about how much time you should take to meet if they are inpatient then that is their problem "
See that's what ussual happens to me they stops talking or don't reply and I just imaging there not intrested and that's completely fine by me I like to talk and know who I would be meeting and I always feel bad messaging some people feel as if I'm just pestering and wasting there time :/ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I concur with majority here
Quickest was 20 minutes trading messages then jumped in car and set out to meet
Longest......LMFAO not going to believe this but I've been chatting to lady on here in and off for nearly 7 years both message and on phone but we have never actually met"
7 years wow now that is a long time hahah dunno if I will be as flexible
Come 7 years time. I usually like talking for a bit because after a few exchanged messages that's when weirdness comes to the surface so I know they are a no go  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You had me after hello lol!"
Did I??? Must have been two pumps n a squirt kinda guy then or I blinked n missed that meet coz I don't recall meeting you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suppose it depends how everyone feels, no right or wrong.
It may also be slightly different for couples as you have the security of someone you know being there.
Some we've chatted to for ages others are same day spur of the moment meets.
As long as everyone's happy, don't feel pressured.
Dx"
This
p.s.for a single guy its sometimes daunting rocking up to a couples house, ive thankfully only ever met couples who have been what i was hoping for so i guess ive been lucky |
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"I would only suggest trusting your own gut feelings, can't imagine you'd be completely comfortable in feeling rushed by someone else. Why someone would feel qualified to question your approach would be more of an issue for me."
It's different when people tell you they want to take things slowly and chat for a while before meeting anyone then the next day there's a veri from a night at a club lol.
You do whatever you're comfortable with. Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well we're all different so I suppose it's up to the individual / couple but we usually exchange a couple of emails then ask if they want to meet up for a chat.
One face to face meet and chat is worth a hundred emails or texts."
So true,I aim for a face to face as soon as possible, it's the only way to get a true impression of a person/couple...
Cuppa and a chat and everyone knows inside ten minutes if you want to have fun... Beats a month of messages every time.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been told several times that i take too long to meet people and these people tend to not want to wait that long. I normally like to chat to someone for a few weeks before meeting them. Even if we get on great via messaging. Is this too long? Or not long enough??? xx"
Everyone has their own pace and preferences
Gotta find someone on the same level as you at the same time as you
And never let anyone make you feel pressured, you know what's right for you. If they can't wait then move onto the next one... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone can't respect you as a person and be considerate of what you feel is right for you then they're not worth meeting, as they'll be just as selfish in person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to meet sooner rather than later. Likes been said before u can tell quite quickly over a coffee if it's for u all or not. Also find the conversation flows more easily in person. |
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