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Joke of the day

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts"

Mrs Classy xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An old man walks into Jewellers with a gorgeous blonde & asks 4 a special ring 4 the lady, jeweller says "Here's one £5000." Old man says "No I want a very special ring." So he pulls 1 out £65,000, he says "That's the 1, I'll write a cheque & when it clears on Monday we'll come & fetch it." On Monday jeweller phones ol...d man & says "There's no money in the account." Old man says "I know, but can U imagine the fuckin weekend I've had!!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK

1 innovative

2 prelimenary

3 proliferation

4 cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK

1 specificity

2 anti- constitutionalistically

3 passive-aggressive disorder

4 transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK

1 no thanks im married

2 nope, no more booze for me

3 sorry, you are not really my type

4 no i dont want to see your tits

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Tell all your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1

... No STRINGS attached.

...But for a limited PERIOD only!

...A BLOODY good deal! LOL

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By *urvy N TeaseCouple over a year ago

Stirling

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.

Apparently, I'm not welcome back at KFC.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just bought the new Tom Tom Satnav, thought it would be funny to enter Wanker and see where i ended up .........Put the kettle on i'm outside!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A woman has been admitted to hospital with a Hoover nozzle wedged up her fanny. Although she is in Intensive Care Doctors say she's picking up nicely

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lolololol

Mr.Classy xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I watched intently as the "other" woman slowly peeled off my wifes panties,and stared closely as she delicately inserted her fingers into my wifes pussy. Naturally, I undid my trousers and started wanking, Midwives,eh?........Got no fucking sense of humour at all!!!

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By *undebigaryMan over a year ago

dundee

A wee cute 8 year old girl walks into a petshop an says can i have a little mouse please mr petshop man.petshop man says omg u are so cute.ur a wee darling so u are.oh thank you mister she says back.petshop man says so what colour of mouse do you want.little cute girl replies,well i dont really think my pet python gives a fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The grim reaper came for me last night, and i beat him off with the vacuum cleaner.

Fuck me talk about Dyson with death

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