FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Am I missing the point
Am I missing the point
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've now been at CJ's a few times and while I've been made to feel very welcome etc I can't quite get my head around some of what goes on.
I understand the swinging concept but it sometimes can seem like there's a bit of any anything will do attitude. I'm not saying thats everyone but is attraction less important than the play? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what you define as attraction.To me an intelligent conversation is far more attractive than a lady who looks like a model but cant string a coherent sentence together...but it comes down to a persons choice I suppose  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does seem that way at times, some folk also think that because they are in the room while you are there that you are free game
Geek  "
Yes my arse mingled far more than the rest of me last night no matter how many times I moved lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does seem that way at times, some folk also think that because they are in the room while you are there that you are free game
Geek
Yes my arse mingled far more than the rest of me last night no matter how many times I moved lol "
That guy behind you in the dungeon last night was funny, couldn't get closer if he tried lol
Geek |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does seem that way at times, some folk also think that because they are in the room while you are there that you are free game
Geek
Yes my arse mingled far more than the rest of me last night no matter how many times I moved lol
That guy behind you in the dungeon last night was funny, couldn't get closer if he tried lol
Geek "
He almost got a slap and not in a pleasurable way. He was everywhere I went most of the night! He maybe had tail envy too tho  |
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We have only been once but the night we were there we found it very hot and everyone seemed to be very respectful of everyone else apart from one old guy who kept following mrs around and even tried a quick squeeze of the bum  Maybe we were lucky ad went on a good night but no way would we entertain an anyone or anything goes attitude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been twice to cjs but not played yet but the first time was scoping the scene and last night if there was somebody I liked and its mutual it may have happened.
At the end of the day its ny body and I'll decide what I'll do with it, just cause its a swing party I'm not jumping into bed with anybody
I hope that doesn't sound pompous but it's my life and u respect other people.
My friends I have met through fab, are people I've got on well with and there is a trust. they know who they are and hopefully will at a few more but there is no rush. pink never feel pressurized into it. |
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The first couple of times we went to CJ's we had an absolute blast for the most part.
Last night was a lesson that the party nights, whilst fun, are not for us. It was just too busy.
However, the last few times it has felt a bit like a cattle market. There are some who are respectful, a good laugh and remember that there are boundaries and everyones are different. There are others who the exact opposite is true and last night that definitely put me off!
Shy  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I think most clubs will have an element of people whose very existence is sex with others, of both genders and including couples. They will put others off from time to time.
Never feel pressurised 
The impression given from the volume of threads is a well run, friendly and inviting establishment. Sometimes and I repeat sometimes, it comes across frenzied to get there, the declarations of activities people have engaged in and that CAN sometimes give a detrimental _iew of the place and that is a real shame.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree, it's always good to get to know the couples first before engaging in anything. As a woman it makes me feel A LOT more comfortable. Plus is a lot more fun as you can discuss ideas of things you want to do! Cat |
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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago
nr bathgate |
I've never been but really want to go xx hearing this today tho is giving me second thoughts I have only ever heard good things bout cj's xx I would use it as a social for the first few times at least xx
Scared to go on my own too |
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By *uboCouple
over a year ago
East kilbride |
"I've never been but really want to go xx hearing this today tho is giving me second thoughts I have only ever heard good things bout cj's xx I would use it as a social for the first few times at least xx
Scared to go on my own too "
Don't let that put you off.
We were not there last night mainly because some themed nights really can be too busy but in general it is a well run club.
There isn't and never should be any pressure put on you and if there was, a simple word to CJ or her staff would soon sort it out.
Granted some single guys don't seem to know the rules but they are soon educated lol. |
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We've only been once, and found most people very polite and nice (bit too nice...we didn't quite get the whole socialisation thing downstairs, and spent most of it upstairs, and no-one joined in because we hadn't talked to them, so they'd felt it rude...even spoke to them later on on here, and they were gagging to apparently!)..
Did get one creepy guy constantly "there", everywhere you look. Lost him in couples room tho so hey ho... |
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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago
nr bathgate |
"That's what puts me off going. I don't fancy getting hassle or having people expecting me to play with them just because I'm a swinger "
One of my reasons xx
I couldn't go there alone tho would need to go in with a few folk |
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Last night was busy, but I had a good laugh and some great chats. There were some hilarious personalities there and lots of genuinely lovely and interesting people too. But yeah, there was some who appeared to just be working their way around everyone till they got a 'taker'. Fair play to them tho...got more action than me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The club is really nice a gorgeous house and people are friendly so I hope my thoughts aren't putting people off. I've never felt uncomfortable even on my own. I'm just starting to see the "action" side of it as not for me. I've no doubt I'll be back to catch up with folk socially |
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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago
nr bathgate |
Not so much putting me off just making me Think xx I'd use cj's as a social night as I really can't See me play in a room full of other people or have people watch me xx I know that's not my thing xx think it would be a good night but like I said couldn't go alone xx I'm actually quite shy to start with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have only been once but only stayed about 45 mins found people friendly enough but the smoke was unbearable for us. Eyes were stinging like mad and clothes were stinking. If they sorted out an outside smoking area we think it would be much better.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've now been at CJ's a few times and while I've been made to feel very welcome etc I can't quite get my head around some of what goes on.
I understand the swinging concept but it sometimes can seem like there's a bit of any anything will do attitude. I'm not saying thats everyone but is attraction less important than the play? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been a few times but never played
No harm to the place it's a gold mine as has it's regulars but
If I'm paying I'd rather pay for my own bed in a nice hotel
X  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been a few times but never played
No harm to the place it's a gold mine as has it's regulars but
If I'm paying I'd rather pay for my own bed in a nice hotel
X "
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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago
nr bathgate |
"We have been a few times but never played
No harm to the place it's a gold mine as has it's regulars but
If I'm paying I'd rather pay for my own bed in a nice hotel
X "
Oohhh I do enjoy a wee night in a hotel xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been a few times but never played
No harm to the place it's a gold mine as has it's regulars but
If I'm paying I'd rather pay for my own bed in a nice hotel
X "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not so much putting me off just making me Think xx I'd use cj's as a social night as I really can't See me play in a room full of other people or have people watch me xx I know that's not my thing xx think it would be a good night but like I said couldn't go alone xx I'm actually quite shy to start with "
Funny feeling you are about to receive plenty offers from guys willing to accompany you |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
I have been a few times now but I havent played just socialised but it varys last night everyone was welcoming and talkative but I've been there when everyone seems to be in groups and its hard to join in but I put it down to being a single guy |
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"We have only been once but only stayed about 45 mins found people friendly enough but the smoke was unbearable for us. Eyes were stinging like mad and clothes were stinking. If they sorted out an outside smoking area we think it would be much better.x"
Hah, that's actually why our one visit ended up with us not having much interaction with others because downstairs was just too much smoke, so we retreated and just screwedd most of the night..and didn't realise no-one will join in if you don't ask them. Pity, but we'll get back at some point.
But yeah, the smoking thing is a drag...wish people could contain their drug habit for an hour or two... |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"We have only been once but only stayed about 45 mins found people friendly enough but the smoke was unbearable for us. Eyes were stinging like mad and clothes were stinking. If they sorted out an outside smoking area we think it would be much better.x
Hah, that's actually why our one visit ended up with us not having much interaction with others because downstairs was just too much smoke, so we retreated and just screwedd most of the night..and didn't realise no-one will join in if you don't ask them. Pity, but we'll get back at some point.
But yeah, the smoking thing is a drag...wish people could contain their drug habit for an hour or two..."
can they not smoke outside ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree we do not get them right in UK, went once and seedy and lack quality in all corners! ... NYC, Chicago and Cologne... well that is different story! there is a huge gap in the market in UK to deliver high class quality clubs! |
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By *uboCouple
over a year ago
East kilbride |
Yes there is a bit out the back that is used. Considering it is getting colder and most are not exactly dressed in outdoor wear most people use the kitchen area which is the only smoking area within the premises.
All other rooms, both upstairs and downstairs are non smoking areas.
In our experience, a large percentage are smokers which make a mockery of the amount of profiles that won't meet smokers.
It is difficult to keep everyone happy and everyone has to make their own choice as to go or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm new to the scene but have been to after 8 !
I've said and stated also on forums there's a lack of options and diversity regarding the club scene !
A bit a money imaganation someone cld create something special |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have steered well clear of CJ's and most other "clubs" recently as not my thing.
I used to belong to one or two fetish clubs in the past but find majority of them now all the same clique people.
Prefer an organised meet with a limited number of people rather than a cattle market |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with above post re imagination.
Not a lot of cash needed, just premises, organisation skills and a wee bit of imagination can make a club successful
Remember too anything that is seen as you earning cash from such club is illegal and will get you raided by Police, shut down and arrested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes there is a bit out the back that is used. Considering it is getting colder and most are not exactly dressed in outdoor wear most people use the kitchen area which is the only smoking area within the premises.
All other rooms, both upstairs and downstairs are non smoking areas.
In our experience, a large percentage are smokers which make a mockery of the amount of profiles that won't meet smokers.
It is difficult to keep everyone happy and everyone has to make their own choice as to go or not."
Yeah they are non smoking areas but the smoke drifts all over as there's so many ppl in the kitchen smoking. X |
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