FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > What would you do?
What would you do?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Looking for a little bit of advice here.
Just been offered a job starting in January that will see me working all over Europe for 12 months. The money is fantastic as is the benefits.
I'm in a pickle though as anyone who knows me knows how much my kids mean to me. They are 8 & 7 years old and they think their dad is the greatest man in the world. I'd only be able to get home for a maximum of 4 weekends in the whole year. I really don't know if I could do that as I'm a wreck if I've not seen them for a whole week.
So good people of fab, what would you do? All advice appreciated, good or bad.  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I would do it after speaking to them about it, I would then plan the 4 weeks back home to be able to maximise the time with them. Maybe take them on holidays when you are home.
good luck |
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"I would do it after speaking to them about it, I would then plan the 4 weeks back home to be able to maximise the time with them. Maybe take them on holidays when you are home.
good luck "
Sound advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you can cope from being apart from them mate then it sounds the ideal job but it's not easy being away from them when you are as close to them as you say.it may seem easy at first but as the weeks go on the more you will start to miss them and 4 weekend out off 52 is not a lot.i know i could not do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it would be a definite no, Mr KK although has never worked away from home, did work extremely long hours in a previous job, very early starts and very late finishes, he missed out on so much with the kids. He would never work like that again, I hate it now when he's an hour late and the kids are always asking when is dad home?
Good luck with your decision, it's a tough one!  |
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You know your family well enough to know if they would cope with you working away.
It's only Europe and there are cheap flights out there where maybe your kids could come visit you for the weekend.. It would be an adventure for them.
Also keeping intouch is so easy not with the Internet you could maybe Skype them most nights?
Good luck what ever you decide xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take it
Your not the first guy that works away from home to provide a comfortable life for his family and you won't be the last. Kids are resilient "
plus it's only 12 months, and at least you get some time to come back and visit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the advice folks. Picking them up from school in an hour. Gonna take them for lunch and talk to them. Really nervous as I know my wee boy isn't going to take it well.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work at sea which means being away from home a lot but you get used to it. i've been lucky to travel to some wonderful places but yeah being away from home does suck when you miss important events and occasions. But the rewards make it all worth it in the end |
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Hi Kiwi, it's a hard one! But a great opportunity for you. You are also a young lad lol so you will open even more doors for yourself that will benefit your kids in the long run. And it's only Europe lol can't you squeeze more week-ends in? Or have a family member bring them over? Feb holidays, Easter, summer...
Better get those languages going
Ciao, Bon courage  |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Do it ....its too good an opportunity to pass up....i know it would be hard but make arrangements to skype at regular times it will show kids your still there n spend every waking minute with them when you are home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sit your kids down, explain everything I mean everything to them,
Then say to them they can talk to you by Skype or Facebook,
Then when you do get home take them on a holiday of their choice,
Hope all this helps, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for a little bit of advice here.
Just been offered a job starting in January that will see me working all over Europe for 12 months. The money is fantastic as is the benefits.
"
You may think the money is fantastic but you will be surprised how quickly you become used to it and after that year you will be looking for similar work or contracts to keep the cash and lifestyle flowing.
you never mentioned your wife so I take it you are separated and just see your kids weekly
If you are married!! and living with your wife also? this is a great way to separate as I have seen it many times before.
Your choice but money is not everything and you will very quickly get used to the good money and higher lifestyle
will be interesting to here how you decide. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I can always remember my mum ( a single parent ) sitting my sister and I down to discuss her commencing nursing training for 3 years, it meant less money in the short term but longer term it would be better for us all...
We decided as a family of 3, we were 11 & 10.
We grew up quick over the next 3 years and I respect her for the choice WE made. |
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Money isnt everything, but it all depends on the person I imagine.
But its a fantastic opportunity for yourself. And while you can only get home for 4 weeks, is there anything stopping your family traveling to see you during school holidays? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for it just think each time your home every time will be special for the three of you.
My ex husband was away most of my boys early life's but every time he was home it was their special time together.
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"Looking for a little bit of advice here.
Just been offered a job starting in January that will see me working all over Europe for 12 months. The money is fantastic as is the benefits.
I'm in a pickle though as anyone who knows me knows how much my kids mean to me. They are 8 & 7 years old and they think their dad is the greatest man in the world. I'd only be able to get home for a maximum of 4 weekends in the whole year. I really don't know if I could do that as I'm a wreck if I've not seen them for a whole week.
So good people of fab, what would you do? All advice appreciated, good or bad. "
Hi Mate.
Was offered the same kind of thing mate Iraq etc , but I know that your kids come first . We are both trying to be the best dads we can be . You'll never get that time back with them . So my answer is no , try to find a better job closer to home and your kids Will thank you forever . !!!!!! . Sorry pal !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for a little bit of advice here.
Just been offered a job starting in January that will see me working all over Europe for 12 months. The money is fantastic as is the benefits.
I'm in a pickle though as anyone who knows me knows how much my kids mean to me. They are 8 & 7 years old and they think their dad is the greatest man in the world. I'd only be able to get home for a maximum of 4 weekends in the whole year. I really don't know if I could do that as I'm a wreck if I've not seen them for a whole week.
So good people of fab, what would you do? All advice appreciated, good or bad.
Hi Mate.
Was offered the same kind of thing mate Iraq etc , but I know that your kids come first . We are both trying to be the best dads we can be . You'll never get that time back with them . So my answer is no , try to find a better job closer to home and your kids Will thank you forever . !!!!!! . Sorry pal !!! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Once again thanks for all the advice folks. My head is in a bit of a pickle with it all but I have a week to decide what to do. I'm about 80/20 in favour of going at the moment. Job is mainly based in Germany so gonna start learning German. I speak Italian and have a little grasp of French so the language barrier shouldn't be too much of a problem.
Thank you to you all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is only 12 months of ur life and u are only in Europe, if improves your /kids quality of life go for it!
They will love you just the same and opportunities like this do not come often.
I went to NYC at a young age and it shaped my future, yes I missed my family but sometimes you have to look further than this amazing country.
Never die wondering and remember the world is a small place... we can get anywher in th world within a 24 hours and Europw is only around the corner... !
Good luck - Gav |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do it or you will always regret it kids are resilient..you will be able to fly over as they will too.. Skype the world is a small place now.. Just be honest and let them see the bigger picture...x
what have you got to loose?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree the scenario some are advising 'sit down and talk about it'.... u making it sound a bigger deal to them and will potentially scare them about the prospect! ... sometimes regardless to how close u as parent make the decision as it is right thing to do... they will thank you for it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just go, and don't listen to "The Cats In The Cradle""
Now that is a perfect bit of advice and a song that fits well
in my eyes that wins Quote of the thread, very well put |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Think I have made my decision.
Wasn't sure what to do due to a few things in life but after taking everything into account and some things that have happened over the last few days I have come to the decision that a year isn't a long time and I would regret it if I didn't take this opportunity.
I leave in just over 11 weeks which gives me plenty time to talk to my kids and let them get used to the idea.
I want to thank the amount of folk that took the time to post on the thread and the numerous other people who private mailed me with advice, please believe me when I say I considered everything that everyone said.
I will close my account down before I leave but will keep in touch with close friends via whatsapp, Skype, kik etc.
Thanks again |
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"Think I have made my decision.
Wasn't sure what to do due to a few things in life but after taking everything into account and some things that have happened over the last few days I have come to the decision that a year isn't a long time and I would regret it if I didn't take this opportunity.
I leave in just over 11 weeks which gives me plenty time to talk to my kids and let them get used to the idea.
I want to thank the amount of folk that took the time to post on the thread and the numerous other people who private mailed me with advice, please believe me when I say I considered everything that everyone said.
I will close my account down before I leave but will keep in touch with close friends via whatsapp, Skype, kik etc.
Thanks again "
Good luck hunni hope it all works out for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a mum to 3 children who's dad worked away from home most of they're younger lives and came back either weekends or for a week once every 3 months they never once gave me or him grief about it.. The oldest two are now working away from home and thank their dad for giving them the bug and opportunity to see the world and what it has to offer..
Good luck to you. I'm sure you won't regret your decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a mum to 3 children who's dad worked away from home most of they're younger lives and came back either weekends or for a week once every 3 months they never once gave me or him grief about it.. The oldest two are now working away from home and thank their dad for giving them the bug and opportunity to see the world and what it has to offer..
Good luck to you. I'm sure you won't regret your decisions. "
Thank you and thanks to Jacs as well x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I have made my decision.
Wasn't sure what to do due to a few things in life but after taking everything into account and some things that have happened over the last few days I have come to the decision that a year isn't a long time and I would regret it if I didn't take this opportunity.
I leave in just over 11 weeks which gives me plenty time to talk to my kids and let them get used to the idea.
I want to thank the amount of folk that took the time to post on the thread and the numerous other people who private mailed me with advice, please believe me when I say I considered everything that everyone said.
I will close my account down before I leave but will keep in touch with close friends via whatsapp, Skype, kik etc.
Thanks again "
Good luck babe's xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I have made my decision.
Wasn't sure what to do due to a few things in life but after taking everything into account and some things that have happened over the last few days I have come to the decision that a year isn't a long time and I would regret it if I didn't take this opportunity.
I leave in just over 11 weeks which gives me plenty time to talk to my kids and let them get used to the idea.
I want to thank the amount of folk that took the time to post on the thread and the numerous other people who private mailed me with advice, please believe me when I say I considered everything that everyone said.
I will close my account down before I leave but will keep in touch with close friends via whatsapp, Skype, kik etc.
Thanks again "
Good luck hunni... Remember & come back lol xx |
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Good luck - know something of what you are experiencing having worked offshore - but not as long trips away as this.
I think as long as you keep in touch regularly you will be OK. One of my offshore mates though did decide never again when he came back and his kids did not recognise him - so try and use Skype or something so they can see you as well as hear you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good luck - know something of what you are experiencing having worked offshore - but not as long trips away as this.
I think as long as you keep in touch regularly you will be OK. One of my offshore mates though did decide never again when he came back and his kids did not recognise him - so try and use Skype or something so they can see you as well as hear you."
Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's such a personal decision based on do many factors I couldn't give you advice.
I'm moving job to be back with the kids. Less money but there's only so much they need in material terms.
Best of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks folks.
What woman Gail?  she says the woman of your dreams"
She doesn't exist mate lol. After recent experiences I think I might either turn celibate or gay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks folks.
What woman Gail? she says the woman of your dreamsShe doesn't exist mate lol. After recent experiences I think I might either turn celibate or gay "
Llf, |
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