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Being the other woman
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If you found yourself being this when normally you wouldn't go against your morals, would you keepcertain things out of bounds or let him do all the things his woman won't let him do since you're already doing something naughty anyway? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been the other woman for a long time it's not always the excitement of being naughty. It stated off that way of course. After time though it changes. You are giving someone all of you but getting very little in return
If it stays just fun it's excitement but whatever you do keep any feelings out of it
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That is all it is. They've been long distance for 3 and a half years and he's finally cracked but she'll be back here permanently in April.
It may sound stupid but I feel like be even shittier to her if I open his eyes up sexually because she won't be enough for him when she gets back. It sounds like she's super vanilla and he wants to try new things. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"That is all it is. They've been long distance for 3 and a half years and he's finally cracked but she'll be back here permanently in April.
It may sound stupid but I feel like be even shittier to her if I open his eyes up sexually because she won't be enough for him when she gets back. It sounds like she's super vanilla and he wants to try new things. "
are you Dr Ruth the sex therapist ? surely his sexual relationship with her is between him and her. If you are to bang him, bang him. Listeneing to his version of their sex life is one dimensional, I am sure she may have a different _iew.
good luck whatever you do. |
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being the other woman is what is called him having his cake and eat it. heard it all i love her but not in love with her. Shes boring in bed. Shes not dirty. We dont have sex anymore. Boils down to respect. If he thought anything of her leave her and not use you. Bad enough cheating but cheating on a sex site must be one hefty kick to the nuts if your straight laced. The only person who will get hurt is you. If he cant respect his partner he wont you either.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That is all it is. They've been long distance for 3 and a half years and he's finally cracked but she'll be back here permanently in April.
It may sound stupid but I feel like be even shittier to her if I open his eyes up sexually because she won't be enough for him when she gets back. It sounds like she's super vanilla and he wants to try new things. "
I'm sure he's probably not telling you the whole truth about their relationship. A good sob story about how she's not treating him right and he has needs that she isn't fulfilling but you could I'm sure must make you feel all woman but the chances are he's saying anything to get you to be dirtier. Do what you want with him not what he's manipulating you into doing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being the other woman is what is called him having his cake and eat it. heard it all i love her but not in love with her. Shes boring in bed. Shes not dirty. We dont have sex anymore. Boils down to respect. If he thought anything of her leave her and not use you. Bad enough cheating but cheating on a sex site must be one hefty kick to the nuts if your straight laced. The only person who will get hurt is you. If he cant respect his partner he wont you either.x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being the other woman is what is called him having his cake and eat it. heard it all i love her but not in love with her. Shes boring in bed. Shes not dirty. We dont have sex anymore. Boils down to respect. If he thought anything of her leave her and not use you. Bad enough cheating but cheating on a sex site must be one hefty kick to the nuts if your straight laced. The only person who will get hurt is you. If he cant respect his partner he wont you either.x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been the other woman. Is a hard call. If its really just about sex then you can't let emotions creep in. Remember he is cheating on his partner. Nothing to stop him cheating on you to ?? Depends if your Truely happy to be the bit on the side ?? The hard facts are that's what you are. You can get addicted to someone through sex. |
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"That is all it is. They've been long distance for 3 and a half years and he's finally cracked but she'll be back here permanently in April.
It may sound stupid but I feel like be even shittier to her if I open his eyes up sexually because she won't be enough for him when she gets back. It sounds like she's super vanilla and he wants to try new things. "
sorry but heard this tale a thousand times shes fridgis she wont do this she wont do that honest your my all in time I will leave her its for the kids its falasy plain and simple he says whats required to get what he wants with no regard for anyone if he gets caught guess who made him do it sorry I could never buy itIif you can lie to someonw you promised your life to you can lie to anyone |
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"being the other woman is what is called him having his cake and eat it. heard it all i love her but not in love with her. Shes boring in bed. Shes not dirty. We dont have sex anymore. Boils down to respect. If he thought anything of her leave her and not use you. Bad enough cheating but cheating on a sex site must be one hefty kick to the nuts if your straight laced. The only person who will get hurt is you. If he cant respect his partner he wont you either.x
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Another +1 |
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Think being the other woman, generally means you are already doing what his real woman isnt, no ones gonna go for less are they lol, the issue comes once you become the real woman, do you then stop doing what initially made you the other woman,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't ask or want to hear about his partner. I'm under no illusions that if I had to ask it would be the poor 'me' routine & she doesn't do this or that... She must do something right if he's still with her.
Sex & sex only for me!!
Relationships are way too messy & complicated for me xx |
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The bottom line is being the other woman all he will do with you is release his load. He wont take you out. He wont be seen with you. If hes not happy its simple leave! do her a favour than rip the piss clean out Her cheating on a sex site. Im anti attached can you tell lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it were me, I'd simply cut all ties with the guy and leave him to it.
There's enough stress & worry in our own worlds without having to worry about if our actions are going to hurt or stress someone else out.
There are so many other guys out there, single and wanting to treat a girl right, who have more to offer. Not always the easiest to find but they are out there. (I hope! Lol)
So to summarise my advice - ditch him and find someone else!
Lx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a woman
I have absolutely no respect for any
" other woman "
Get some self respect and find a man that's not already taken
Even if you love him .... If he loved you enough back you wouldn't be the " other woman" |
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Thanks everyone for your comments. It's just sex, no emotions. They're long distance. I don't want be his girlfriend or care if we can't go out together. I have no problems fucking without getting attached. Why else would I be on this site?! |
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"Thanks everyone for your comments. It's just sex, no emotions. They're long distance. I don't want be his girlfriend or care if we can't go out together. I have no problems fucking without getting attached. Why else would I be on this site?!"
Then just move on.unless you like the drama |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a woman
I have absolutely no respect for any
" other woman "
Get some self respect and find a man that's not already taken
Even if you love him .... If he loved you enough back you wouldn't be the " other woman""
While I agree with some of what you say being the other woman doesn't automatically make you heartless or lacking respect . Or even free of guilt. Sometimes the picture that's painted of the other woman is so wrong. It's actually very lonely and hard always knowing you are clearly never going to be enough |
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"Well all I would say to that is don't go with am attached man?
Sometimes it's not always that black and white "
but it is black and white once you know he is a cheat and a lier whats gonna change ? The amount of folk who believe the fairytale nonsense is crazy even if he did decide to leave his wife would you place any trust there I certainly wouldnt the only time I see it possible is if the cheated on party has severe mental issues and has little to know concept of what is going on (late stage alzhiemers) as an example in all other cases they manipulate folk through deception to get what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been in this situation. I was fed all the shit and lies about how bad his marriage was and it was sexless and everything else that goes with it. Obviously it was his word against his innocent other half. Which i found out later they were very happy together, he just wanted more cake.
Get out while you can. Yes you say NSA but to him it may be his way out of the relationship with his partner and use you as his only shoulder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day were all human and if emotions will come into play regardless if you set out for just sex !
If you are seeing someone who is attached then there is the possibility of heat and drama !
What started as aimless fun could escalate into a life problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says "
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating? "
Having been both a cheating wife and the other woman I think I would yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for your comments. It's just sex, no emotions. They're long distance. I don't want be his girlfriend or care if we can't go out together. I have no problems fucking without getting attached. Why else would I be on this site?!"
If emotions aren't an issue I'd steer clear. There's plenty single guys who can offer NSA sex.
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Why are people talking about the heart and love and being hurt?
The OP has said shes not interested in a relationship with the guy. Shes fully aware hes in a relationship and their fun may or may not end in April when the partner returns home.
To answer your question OP.
It depends what those things that are currently out of bounds. If its something that you want to do, then do it. Remember your in it for your own fun, so you dont need to make sacrifices for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people talking about the heart and love and being hurt?
The OP has said shes not interested in a relationship with the guy. Shes fully aware hes in a relationship and their fun may or may not end in April when the partner returns home.
To answer your question OP.
It depends what those things that are currently out of bounds. If its something that you want to do, then do it. Remember your in it for your own fun, so you dont need to make sacrifices for him."
Everybody's talking about love because in the words of Lennon and McCartney
All you need is love lol |
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says "
and sometimes you have to put aside what you want and think about the bigger picture . It's innocent folks lives your putting a time bomb under.
Its not just a bit of fun to the person who's being cheated on. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"That is all it is. They've been long distance for 3 and a half years and he's finally cracked but she'll be back here permanently in April.
It may sound stupid but I feel like be even shittier to her if I open his eyes up sexually because she won't be enough for him when she gets back. It sounds like she's super vanilla and he wants to try new things. "
He is probably telling you what you want to hear so he gets what he wants.
I don't give two hoots who goes with who on here, it isn't any of my business and we are all adults who are entitled to make our own choices....but your post implies you are concerned for the G/F ....it is a bit late for that when sleeping with her man is probably the worst thing you can do to her. |
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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago
nr bathgate |
"being the other woman is what is called him having his cake and eat it. heard it all i love her but not in love with her. Shes boring in bed. Shes not dirty. We dont have sex anymore. Boils down to respect. If he thought anything of her leave her and not use you. Bad enough cheating but cheating on a sex site must be one hefty kick to the nuts if your straight laced. The only person who will get hurt is you. If he cant respect his partner he wont you either.x
Another +1 "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly
Sleeping with another woman's husband and knowing he's with another woman as a woman is prob the worst betrayal a woman cld do to another woman
It's none of my business who folk meet maybe different if it's 1 off swinging meets on here for some
But if it's a relationship that's another matter the only winner is the person doing the cheeting as their having their cake and eat it
The comment about would you do the things the wife wouldn't totally annoys me ... Yeah let the silly woman cook clean look after his kids for him and il get all the fun
Shocking!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you found yourself being this when normally you wouldn't go against your morals, would you keepcertain things out of bounds or let him do all the things his woman won't let him do since you're already doing something naughty anyway? "
best do as told as well as the dishes, washing, ironing and hovering |
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"Exactly
Sleeping with another woman's husband and knowing he's with another woman as a woman is prob the worst betrayal a woman cld do to another woman
It's none of my business who folk meet maybe different if it's 1 off swinging meets on here for some
But if it's a relationship that's another matter the only winner is the person doing the cheeting as their having their cake and eat it
The comment about would you do the things the wife wouldn't totally annoys me ... Yeah let the silly woman cook clean look after his kids for him and il get all the fun
Shocking!! "
If 'as a woman' you wouldn't do what I'm doing then why do you assume 'as a woman' she must be doing his cooking, cleaning and having his kids?' It's the 21st century. They're not married, they don't have kids and they don't live together. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's his skivvy.
I appreciate everyone's input but I'm not here for a lesson in good behaviour. That's not what the posting was about and I'm aware that I'm doing something immoral. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating?
Having been both a cheating wife and the other woman I think I would yes. "
So you have never been a wife that's been cheated on. You have always done the cheating. I'm sure you wouldn't be so blasé about it all if you were.
I'm not trying to single you out on here but I don't agree with your the heart wants comment.
I would just like to add that I haven't been cheated on but I have empathy for the women and the children that have |
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"Exactly
Sleeping with another woman's husband and knowing he's with another woman as a woman is prob the worst betrayal a woman cld do to another woman
It's none of my business who folk meet maybe different if it's 1 off swinging meets on here for some
But if it's a relationship that's another matter the only winner is the person doing the cheeting as their having their cake and eat it
The comment about would you do the things the wife wouldn't totally annoys me ... Yeah let the silly woman cook clean look after his kids for him and il get all the fun
Shocking!!
If 'as a woman' you wouldn't do what I'm doing then why do you assume 'as a woman' she must be doing his cooking, cleaning and having his kids?' It's the 21st century. They're not married, they don't have kids and they don't live together. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's his skivvy.
I appreciate everyone's input but I'm not here for a lesson in good behaviour. That's not what the posting was about and I'm aware that I'm doing something immoral. "
You've made a few assumptions too purely on his say so . You have no clue what their sex life is truly like or if she's very vanilla as you put it . For all you know she could be as kinky and adventurous as you if not more . I mean he is NEVER going to tell you if she was rocking his world when he trying to get his end away with you is he lol ! Let's face facts the guy is a lier as proved by cheating on his partner .He's no qualms lying to the woman he loves so why do you think you'd be treated any better when you're purely a hook up . Also IF things were that bad between them if he's any balls he'd have called it a day with her . Especially if as you say live separate and not ties then nothing to stop him is there.
Considering this is nothing to you but sex he's playing you like a violin I'm afraid .That's totally your business to be treated like that.But you can come on hear posting about it and then complain when people don't just say what you wanna hear . You'll do what you wanna do anyway but don't kid yourself about it .
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"Sorry again I totally disagree as soon as you find out the guys attached
Walk away "
^^^^ this... I found out after almost 9 months of seeing someone from a similar site. He would spend at least 3 or 4 overnights a week with me... had no issues going out to eat or drink and he wouldn't bat an eyelid when we bumped into his mates in a pub, so I had no reason to doubt him... I didn't want to know his entire life history anyway... It was a FWB situation not a relationship
As soon as I found out.... I never saw him or answered a call from him again. It may not be black and white to some people, but it's black and white to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating?
Having been both a cheating wife and the other woman I think I would yes.
So you have never been a wife that's been cheated on. You have always done the cheating. I'm sure you wouldn't be so blasé about it all if you were.
I'm not trying to single you out on here but I don't agree with your the heart wants comment.
I would just like to add that I haven't been cheated on but I have empathy for the women and the children that have "
And the assumption is that the other women feels no guilt or empathy? That couldn't be further from the truth. The guilt at times was unbearable at times but my self esteem was such that I'd convinced myself it was all worth it for the stollen moments I didn't feel those things. It's very easy for people to judge and I too am just as guilty of it. However no one goes out intentionally to hurt the other it just happens. I didn't go out to wreck someone's relationship. And I didn't they are still together.
And like a few others have said I was the one that got/gets hurt. 
Lastly I'm sorry if my comments offended anyone. I guess it's somewhat of a difficult subject for me |
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
Would you still be saying that if you were the wife of a husband cheating?
Having been both a cheating wife and the other woman I think I would yes.
So you have never been a wife that's been cheated on. You have always done the cheating. I'm sure you wouldn't be so blasé about it all if you were.
I'm not trying to single you out on here but I don't agree with your the heart wants comment.
I would just like to add that I haven't been cheated on but I have empathy for the women and the children that have
And the assumption is that the other women feels no guilt or empathy? That couldn't be further from the truth. The guilt at times was unbearable at times but my self esteem was such that I'd convinced myself it was all worth it for the stollen moments I didn't feel those things. It's very easy for people to judge and I too am just as guilty of it. However no one goes out intentionally to hurt the other it just happens. I didn't go out to wreck someone's relationship. And I didn't they are still together.
And like a few others have said I was the one that got/gets hurt.
Lastly I'm sorry if my comments offended anyone. I guess it's somewhat of a difficult subject for me "
the cheat goes out to hurt though thats the point they promised another then lie and decieve you can bet your bottom doller they feel no remorse and by enabeling that behaviour your saying its ok... its everyones choice what they do but promising one thing and doing another is not the right thing to do in anyones mind |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"Sorry again I totally disagree as soon as you find out the guys attached
Walk away "
this. Just Sex doesn't justify the condoning, facilitating and contributing to the deliberate hurt of someone who has done nothing to you. IMO. |
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says "
A very fair and valid comment.
Nothing is as simple as, "don't go with attached!," etc etc...
If you feel a primeval connection from the of, morals are sometimes abandonded.
How you perceive the connection after time is up to those involved.
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
A very fair and valid comment.
Nothing is as simple as, "don't go with attached!," etc etc...
If you feel a primeval connection from the of, morals are sometimes abandonded.
How you perceive the connection after time is up to those involved.
"
sorry but what piffle! It's only as complicated as you wish to make it . If they are attached then you have 2 choices walk away or continue seeing them knowing you are helping them cheat . Those who proclaim "oh but it's not that black and white and what the heart wants ".... are just excusing themselves to just be totally selfish and do what they want . Would theses same people hook up with their siblings partner ..because it's what their heart wanted?? I'm damn sure they'd keep their morals then .It's just easier to justify shitting on a faceless stranger . |
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"If you found yourself being this when normally you wouldn't go against your morals, would you keepcertain things out of bounds or let him do all the things his woman won't let him do since you're already doing something naughty anyway? "
Back to the original question and speaking as someone who has experienced this from ALL aspects. What is the point of holding back? You are doing it may as well get full enjoyment.
Shy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The heart wants what the heart wants sometimes regardless of what the head says
A very fair and valid comment.
Nothing is as simple as, "don't go with attached!," etc etc...
If you feel a primeval connection from the of, morals are sometimes abandonded.
How you perceive the connection after time is up to those involved.
sorry but what piffle! It's only as complicated as you wish to make it . If they are attached then you have 2 choices walk away or continue seeing them knowing you are helping them cheat . Those who proclaim "oh but it's not that black and white and what the heart wants ".... are just excusing themselves to just be totally selfish and do what they want . Would theses same people hook up with their siblings partner ..because it's what their heart wanted?? I'm damn sure they'd keep their morals then .It's just easier to justify shitting on a faceless stranger . "
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