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Golf Open, St. Andrews.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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..... and for those who keep sending me Golf jokes.... here are the rules for bedroom golf, please adhere to them. 
The Rules of Bedroom Golf:
Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.
The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"..... and for those who keep sending me Golf jokes.... here are the rules for bedroom golf, please adhere to them.
The Rules of Bedroom Golf:
Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.
The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
"
ffs thats one tough hole.  |
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"..... and for those who keep sending me Golf jokes.... here are the rules for bedroom golf, please adhere to them.
The Rules of Bedroom Golf:
Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.
The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
"
ha ha ha brilliant lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I decided to take some golf lessons, the pro and I got out to the course and he instructed me to hold the club as I would a mans penis.
I hit the ball and the pro exclaimed, "Beautiful!! Great shot, right down the center of the fairway!
Now, take the club out of your mouth and we'll go for distance." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have not had the pleausre of playing the old lady of golf (st andrews) but have heard so much about her how tough she is especially when the the wind is gusting but having played for a long time i an sure i could master her with my trusty WOOD or if all else fails my tusty 8 iron it never lets me down iknow this a beautiful course and would love to play sighs maybe one day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been 'bunkered' a few times in my day........ but never played golf.
never laine ?.... im sure uve played with a few dimpled balls in ur time lmao
 "
Certain bunkers in St Andrews they do say once yer in em you could be there a long time,lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I decided to take some golf lessons, the pro and I got out to the course and he instructed me to hold the club as I would a mans penis.
I hit the ball and the pro exclaimed, "Beautiful!! Great shot, right down the center of the fairway!
Now, take the club out of your mouth and we'll go for distance." Laine thats brill , It made me laugh out loud ,I needed that today , thanks babe , xxxxxx"
Happy to bring a smile to a lovely xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wonder how long they have had those little cams in the bunkers???  
I'm wondering what the handicap on a tricky chip out of laine's butt impression in a bunker is? "
69, you need a good few firm strokes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering what the handicap on a tricky chip out of laine's butt impression in a bunker is?
Your own imagination of her making said impression...would handicap my golfing ability!"
yeah right.... show me yer big bertha! |
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