FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Social Skills
Social Skills
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok folks I'm gonna have a wee moan here (shock eh?).
Why is it that some men on here when attending 'socials' lack basic social skills?
For example when did it become acceptable to just be in someone's face, basically invading their private space?
Also I always thought that if a lady said no once then that was it? Certainly not 3 times anyway.
Is that normal behaviour from guys on here and does this make me NOT normal? 
Answers on a postcard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life,but invading peoples space is a no no,and its hard wired into peoples brains not to invade peoples personal spaces,so people that do are probably a bit unbalanced |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i know what you mean, i used to be unbalanced myself, now im contentedly schizophrenic  "
at least with schizophrenia you've always got company,I saw an advert years ago asking to give people with schizophrenia personal CD players (remember them?) to help drown out the voices,knowing my luck I'd have a voice in my head that hated my taste in music |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed, no should mean no,
Unfortunately some folk in life are very selfish and only consider their own wants, while completely disregarding the feelings of others |
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why is it the ones you want in your face aint but the ones you dont are ? lol kidding
But your right ive been on the receiving end of this kind of attention and its not nice when uve told them no more than once but they continue to be in your face to the point where your getting angry and trying not to say something that might fuel the situation  |
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I'd say it's very wrong and also disrespectful .I have found my own personal way to deal with men like this of here ,it's 3 strikes and your out policy .
1.A kind , could you step back abit and no thank you.
2.A death stare
3.well I will leave that to your imagination    |
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I also think that because we are on Fab, some people think it's acceptable to behave in this manner, after all we are on a "sex site" (tongue firmly in cheek here) Think of the issues some members have complained about in messages. Stands to reason that behaviour will transfer into real life. |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
I have been told I got in people's face at a social but it wasn't intentional I was just excited and keen to meet everyone cj gave me some advice last time told me to try and relax and stop trying so hard
as for no means no it depends on context if it's fun then absolutely but personally I would still try and make conversation and maybe you'll be more comfortable willing next time or even just another pal to meet at parties social
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been told I got in people's face at a social but it wasn't intentional I was just excited and keen to meet everyone cj gave me some advice last time told me to try and relax and stop trying so hard
as for no means no it depends on context if it's fun then absolutely but personally I would still try and make conversation and maybe you'll be more comfortable willing next time or even just another pal to meet at parties social
"
Sorry but no means no end of 1st time or 10th time it still means no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say it's very wrong and also disrespectful .I have found my own personal way to deal with men like this of here ,it's 3 strikes and your out policy .
1.A kind , could you step back abit and no thank you.
2.A death stare
3.well I will leave that to your imagination "
Nah you forgot the constant abuse or canni tie a knot in it veris lol I thought that's how you dealt wi space invaders lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been told I got in people's face at a social but it wasn't intentional I was just excited and keen to meet everyone cj gave me some advice last time told me to try and relax and stop trying so hard
as for no means no it depends on context if it's fun then absolutely but personally I would still try and make conversation and maybe you'll be more comfortable willing next time or even just another pal to meet at parties social
"
No doesn't remotely depend on the context. It means NO!!! Why would you try again?? That's more accurately called harassment....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been told I got in people's face at a social but it wasn't intentional I was just excited and keen to meet everyone cj gave me some advice last time told me to try and relax and stop trying so hard
as for no means no it depends on context if it's fun then absolutely but personally I would still try and make conversation and maybe you'll be more comfortable willing next time or even just another pal to meet at parties social
No doesn't remotely depend on the context. It means NO!!! Why would you try again?? That's more accurately called harassment.... "
Well put |
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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
"I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life........."
I'm sorry OP, but I take exception to your assertion. You might think that you personally lack social skills, but I certainly don't include myself with you.
Some of us around here are mature adults, and know how to behave and interact with people. If you don't, then I suggest you have a hard look at yourself and sort it. |
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By *976scottMan
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
Don't think it's right to get into peoples faces! I come across as shy at first but when I relax I'm fine in these situations!
The issue with some folk, usually men assume because were all on Fab and it's a sex site or were at CJ's that everyone is "up for it"!
I always go with the attitude that I'm there to enjoy myself so whatever else happens it's a wee bonus! |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
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"I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life.........
I'm sorry OP, but I take exception to your assertion. You might think that you personally lack social skills, but I certainly don't include myself with you.
Some of us around here are mature adults, and know how to behave and interact with people. If you don't, then I suggest you have a hard look at yourself and sort it. "
I think if you check back you might find it wasn't actually the OP who said that but someone else. Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
"
No........no means no if they say it it means no you don't go asking again more so in a play room if some one means no then it's no for a reason.if you jeep asking you come across as being a pest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
"
I get that no means no....just not to you! When other people hear no...you hear...have another go later. Wrong!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
I get that no means no....just not to you! When other people hear no...you hear...have another go later. Wrong!!!!! "
No when I hear no from some one then I take it as no and I don't ask again. |
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By *976scottMan
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
I have to say if someone said no I would take it as a final no! Don't think I would have the confidence / brass neck to go back and ask again, especially in a play room environment!
Always found that since finding the enlightenment of a non vanilla lifestyle it pays to be respectful and polite whatever the situation be it a social meet or club! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say if someone said no I would take it as a final no! Don't think I would have the confidence / brass neck to go back and ask again, especially in a play room environment!
Always found that since finding the enlightenment of a non vanilla lifestyle it pays to be respectful and polite whatever the situation be it a social meet or club!"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life.........
I'm sorry OP, but I take exception to your assertion. You might think that you personally lack social skills, but I certainly don't include myself with you.
Some of us around here are mature adults, and know how to behave and interact with people. If you don't, then I suggest you have a hard look at yourself and sort it. "
If you read back you will see that it wasn't me that posted that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
"
Andy.. Pal.. No does mean no! Nothing else apart from that!! Doesn't mean "I'll ask you again later" haha! What did we chat about on Friday? *face palm*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no does depend on context and wording
if you offer someone a drink and they say no then you say are you sure av got these other ones over here that's not harassing them
if someone is in the fun room at a party and you ask to join in and they say no it doesn't necessarily mean no I don't like you never talk to me again they could just be enjoying them self with the people they are already with, next time they might want you to join in
if they say no look your not my type am not interested at all then yeah its a no they meant no theirs no debating it there's no point bothering them again your just annoying them and wasting both your time
in some cases its black and white no means no
but you can have situations where no just means not now
do you get what I am trying to say????
"
Which part of NO do you struggle with the N or the O
Its simple, don't care where you are, don't care how you got there and couldn't care less what you think you might get/wnat in the future
No ALWAYS means No |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
I don't think it is as simple as yes or no there's maybe as well and people are rarely use such simple language as no its generally in a sentence
its like, av had someone say no to me in a message asking for a meet and av had to clarify with them if they were just saying no to the meet or no to me period
but seen as everyone in the thread either disagree's or doesn't understand what am trying to say lets just leave it alone
and get back to what the thread was about which was social skills
I was pointing out that people can be rude with out intending to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it is as simple as yes or no there's maybe as well and people are rarely use such simple language as no its generally in a sentence
its like, av had someone say no to me in a message asking for a meet and av had to clarify with them if they were just saying no to the meet or no to me period
but seen as everyone in the thread either disagree's or doesn't understand what am trying to say lets just leave it alone
and get back to what the thread was about which was social skills
I was pointing out that people can be rude with out intending to be "
If someone said no to me in a message I'd take it for granted it was a no & leave it at that. So yes it is that simple Tbh.
I'd maybe take note of the advice given on this post or I think you'll find yourself on a few blocklists mr. |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
"I don't think it is as simple as yes or no there's maybe as well and people are rarely use such simple language as no its generally in a sentence
its like, av had someone say no to me in a message asking for a meet and av had to clarify with them if they were just saying no to the meet or no to me period
but seen as everyone in the thread either disagree's or doesn't understand what am trying to say lets just leave it alone
and get back to what the thread was about which was social skills
I was pointing out that people can be rude with out intending to be
If someone said no to me in a message I'd take it for granted it was a no & leave it at that. So yes it is that simple Tbh.
I'd maybe take note of the advice given on this post or I think you'll find yourself on a few blocklists mr. "
I am going take on some of the advice from this but like the example there of clarifying if I hadn't there would be several people in my friends list that I would never have got know |
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To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol "
2 glasses? lol
Geek  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol
2 glasses? lol
Geek "
And maybe some Prosecco  |
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"To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol
2 glasses? lol
Geek "
for you geek yes pmsl |
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"To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol
2 glasses? lol
Geek
And maybe some Prosecco "
I was nawty on Friday and had both ops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was you and take it all on board trust me if a lady says no it means no.it does not mean u will go away for half an hour then go back no means not now not later say hi introduce yourself and leave it at that. |
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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
"I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life.........
I'm sorry OP, but I take exception to your assertion. You might think that you personally lack social skills, but I certainly don't include myself with you.
Some of us around here are mature adults, and know how to behave and interact with people. If you don't, then I suggest you have a hard look at yourself and sort it. If you read back you will see that it wasn't me that posted that. "
My apologies Kiwi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I've only experienced this recently but it certainly didn't make me feel comfortable at all.
Having someone leer over you and watching your every move is very uncomfortable and little unnerving so in my opinion No means no it doesn't mean give her half an hour maybe another glass of Chardonnay and maybe she will say yes lol "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely not just single guys who do this unfortunately. I've seen couples and single women at socials and parties do this. Not take No for an answer, make a huge fuss about it, become nasty and make things uncomfortable, invade peoples personal space and act like tools.
Unacceptable in any situation, no matter who it is. I've had to deal with it more than a few times and it makes me angry that I even have to.
Lx |
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"It's definitely not just single guys who do this unfortunately. I've seen couples and single women at socials and parties do this. Not take No for an answer, make a huge fuss about it, become nasty and make things uncomfortable, invade peoples personal space and act like tools.
Unacceptable in any situation, no matter who it is. I've had to deal with it more than a few times and it makes me angry that I even have to.
Lx"
shhhhh dont you know its actual single guys to blame for everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's definitely not just single guys who do this unfortunately. I've seen couples and single women at socials and parties do this. Not take No for an answer, make a huge fuss about it, become nasty and make things uncomfortable, invade peoples personal space and act like tools.
Unacceptable in any situation, no matter who it is. I've had to deal with it more than a few times and it makes me angry that I even have to.
Lx
shhhhh dont you know its actual single guys to blame for everything "
lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear god! Andy, we are just trying to help you! No does actually mean NO! Not maybe, not try in a few days. If someone says no then move on.
You're digging yourself into a huge ruddy hole! please, just stop, put the shovel down boy!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that most men that use internet dating sites or sites like this lack social skills (me included) hence why they're on here and not out and about meeting women in real life.........
I'm sorry OP, but I take exception to your assertion. You might think that you personally lack social skills, but I certainly don't include myself with you.
Some of us around here are mature adults, and know how to behave and interact with people. If you don't, then I suggest you have a hard look at yourself and sort it. If you read back you will see that it wasn't me that posted that.
My apologies Kiwi. "
Apology accepted |
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
"Oh dear god! Andy, we are just trying to help you! No does actually mean NO! Not maybe, not try in a few days. If someone says no then move on.
You're digging yourself into a huge ruddy hole! please, just stop, put the shovel down boy!!!! "
lol I think your right am just going to shut up lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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think you have heard the opinions of most so that's where I would take pointers from have only met you the once so be unfair of me to comment I feel.
Just one point being courteous works both ways some people will smile politely but not really engage much in conversation or exchange the odd word or 2 with you but if they turn back to their partner or group of friends I personally always took it a sign and moved on but hey I am the shy retiring type after all
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By *nonandyMan
over a year ago
Near Glasgow |
Right I have now met several people from this thread in person at socials and been SET STRAIGHT
special thanks to kiwi and bjq69 for explaining how things work
and lastly I apologise to anyone I have pissed off with coments here or in any other thread
new leaf guys |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Right I have now met several people from this thread in person at socials and been SET STRAIGHT
special thanks to kiwi and bjq69 for explaining how things work
and lastly I apologise to anyone I have pissed off with coments here or in any other thread
new leaf guys "
I have never noticed you post anything to warrant pissing me off. Good luck to you on the site.
Just be you though, people who flex for the crowd may lose their individuality,....
all the best |
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"Right I have now met several people from this thread in person at socials and been SET STRAIGHT
special thanks to kiwi and bjq69 for explaining how things work
and lastly I apologise to anyone I have pissed off with coments here or in any other thread
new leaf guys
I have never noticed you post anything to warrant pissing me off. Good luck to you on the site.
Just be you though, people who flex for the crowd may lose their individuality,....
all the best "
im not an automaton bzzzzzz beep burrrrrr whhiiiiirrrrr click click bzzzzzz |
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"Right I have now met several people from this thread in person at socials and been SET STRAIGHT
special thanks to kiwi and bjq69 for explaining how things work
and lastly I apologise to anyone I have pissed off with coments here or in any other thread
new leaf guys
I have never noticed you post anything to warrant pissing me off. Good luck to you on the site.
Just be you though, people who flex for the crowd may lose their individuality,....
all the best "
Wise words as usual _iew |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Right I have now met several people from this thread in person at socials and been SET STRAIGHT
special thanks to kiwi and bjq69 for explaining how things work
and lastly I apologise to anyone I have pissed off with coments here or in any other thread
new leaf guys
I have never noticed you post anything to warrant pissing me off. Good luck to you on the site.
Just be you though, people who flex for the crowd may lose their individuality,....
all the best
Wise words as usual _iew "
thank you |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"Ok folks I'm gonna have a wee moan here (shock eh?).
Why is it that some men on here when attending 'socials' lack basic social skills?
For example when did it become acceptable to just be in someone's face, basically invading their private space?
Also I always thought that if a lady said no once then that was it? Certainly not 3 times anyway.
Is that normal behaviour from guys on here and does this make me NOT normal?
Answers on a postcard "
Never been to a club so cant answer that part but I'm sure its not all men and not just men  |
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