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By *976scott OP Man
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
Woman goes to hospital 3 months pregnant goes into coma awakes 7 months later in panic she said to doctor what happened did I loose my twins?
no he said u had a perfect girl and boy!
she said but who named them?
doctor replied your brother
oh no she said he's hopeless what did he name girl?
Denise he said oh that's not bad at all what about boy ?
He's called Denephew!!!!  |
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The man who gave up sex for golf
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Sure, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a sinister looking stranger walks up beside the golfer and whispers, "To sink this putt, would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life?”
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer casually says, "Sure," - and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "For sure I would really like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life?"
Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." - and makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Before he has a chance to mumble anything, the stranger whispers in the golfer's ear, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies. He makes the eagle and wins the match.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. You see, I'm Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies. "I'm Father O'Malley." |
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