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By *976scott OP Man
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
Explanation for there being no male agony aunts:
Dear Jim,
I am a 42 yr old mother. I left for work but after a mile or so, my car broke down. I had to walk home again, and on arriving home I found my 16 year old babysitter handcuffed to the bed in her school uniform, sucking my husbands cock. I am devastated! Can you help?
Dear Susie,
A common cause for this is dirt in your carburettor. Don't let your fuel drop too low in the tank.
Hope this helps.
Jim.  |
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By *976scott OP Man
over a year ago
North Lanarkshire |
Two monkeys get into a bath!
One monkey says to the other;
Oh oh ah ah oh oh ah ah oh oh ah ah oh oh ah ah oh ah oh ah oh ah oh ah!
The other monkey replies;
"For fuck sake, if it's too hot just put some cold in"!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not to sound too much like a grump but do we really need a new joke thread EVERY DAY ...can you not just start 1 and add to it each day  "
NO!!! Don't be such a grump! I like the joke threads! |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Not to sound too much like a grump but do we really need a new joke thread EVERY DAY ...can you not just start 1 and add to it each day
NO!!! Don't be such a grump! I like the joke threads! "
ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."
"What are the three tests?" asks the man
"Gotta pay first."
So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar.
"OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her."
"Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"
The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.
"Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.
He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence.
Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.
"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not to sound too much like a grump but do we really need a new joke thread EVERY DAY ...can you not just start 1 and add to it each day
Yeah you do sound like a grump!  "
Mr grumpy pants  |
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