FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Shoot Me Now
Shoot Me Now
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My Saturday night will consist of: being stuck in a function suite with 100 pished up hormone addled 18 year old boys and drama queen fake eyebrowed Tangerine fake tan drama queen lassies at my nephews 18th birthday party; trying to resist the urge to get Mankie d*unk on Guinness at the free bar; scoffing more chicken pakora and samosas than one person really should and; coming to the realisation that the aforementioned pakora and samosas taste far better on the way down than they do on the way up. Anyone got any razor blades, a length of rope, perhaps some hosepipe I can run from the car exhaust?
To all those going to the Kink night at CJ's tonight......I'll offer to let you peg me if you come and rescue me......PLEASE??????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Saturday night will consist of: being stuck in a function suite with 100 pished up hormone addled 18 year old boys and drama queen fake eyebrowed Tangerine fake tan drama queen lassies at my nephews 18th birthday party; trying to resist the urge to get Mankie d*unk on Guinness at the free bar; scoffing more chicken pakora and samosas than one person really should and; coming to the realisation that the aforementioned pakora and samosas taste far better on the way down than they do on the way up. Anyone got any razor blades, a length of rope, perhaps some hosepipe I can run from the car exhaust?
To all those going to the Kink night at CJ's tonight......I'll offer to let you peg me if you come and rescue me......PLEASE???????"
P.s when you go to get him.. Come get me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You think those cool young kids want old man Ozzie hanging around the party eating all the pakora and eyeing up every bit of skirt 
It's nearly 10pm time to get home and shut the curtains old timer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You think those cool young kids want old man Ozzie hanging around the party eating all the pakora and eyeing up every bit of skirt
It's nearly 10pm time to get home and shut the curtains old timer "
Ho whatch yo doin postin in here when yo know yo ass should be out in the street earning big Ozzie some greenbacks to by me the fine things. Don't make me raise the pimp hand to yo ass!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think those cool young kids want old man Ozzie hanging around the party eating all the pakora and eyeing up every bit of skirt
It's nearly 10pm time to get home and shut the curtains old timer
Ho whatch yo doin postin in here when yo know yo ass should be out in the street earning big Ozzie some greenbacks to by me the fine things. Don't make me raise the beadle hand to yo ass!! "
Sos big Ozzie a was just fixn ma self  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Quarter Son
Be afraid, be very very afraid, pimknis a wonderful delightful lady. Except on fetish nights, I think you're in for a rough tough pegging lad  "
Oh quarter father why hast thou fires amen me and abandoned me to this pack of vicious Jezzebells? You're supposed to protect your kids!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha ozzie, what have you got yourself into now ya masochist?
"
A brutal, hate f&$k pegging by the lions of things madam. Plastic surgery, a false passport and airline tickets to a non extradition treaty country look the best options for me. Pink Sapphire is far to eager to violate me....I'm feckin sweating bullets here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha ozzie, what have you got yourself into now ya masochist?
A brutal, hate f&$k pegging by the lions of things madam. Plastic surgery, a false passport and airline tickets to a non extradition treaty country look the best options for me. Pink Sapphire is far to eager to violate me....I'm feckin sweating bullets here! "
I leave you for a few hours and you get into such a mess, deary me. Come back inside and I'll keep you safe 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Inside the cape??? 
Yes, its nice and cosy in here
Can I stay for a while....I much rather be "Starbucked" than pegged. Booby hugs to?? 
I don't think starbuck wants to cuddle into your man boobs 
I've got better tits than you oh thou of the coal miners hands and hairy back"
Ahh that maybe but you can do the truffle shuffle with yours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Inside the cape???
Yes, its nice and cosy in here
Can I stay for a while....I much rather be "Starbucked" than pegged. Booby hugs to??
I don't think starbuck wants to cuddle into your man boobs
I've got better tits than you oh thou of the coal miners hands and hairy back
Ahh that maybe but you can do the truffle shuffle with yours
I have no smart arse answer to that....I'm stumped  "
You never have a smart answer but it doesn't stop you from posting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I stay for a while....I much rather be "Starbucked" than pegged. Booby hugs to??
That one still cracks me up! :-
And of course  big booby hugs are guaranteed! "
I far prefer you to that vicious harpie Fabfem, you're nice she's a Rottweiler with a migraine.
Can I use your boobies as pillows and just snuggle up under the cape, neck nuzzles too?? I know, I know I'm a feckin chancer!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I far prefer you to that vicious harpie Fabfem, you're nice she's a Rottweiler with a migraine.
Can I use your boobies as pillows and just snuggle up under the cape, neck nuzzles too?? I know, I know I'm a feckin chancer!! "
She's a kitten really
My boobies make great pillows apparently! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I far prefer you to that vicious harpie Fabfem, you're nice she's a Rottweiler with a migraine.
Can I use your boobies as pillows and just snuggle up under the cape, neck nuzzles too?? I know, I know I'm a feckin chancer!!
She's a kitten really
My boobies make great pillows apparently! "
Thanks starbuck. Ozzie made me cry can I snuggle in instead of him |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aw, you can both snuggle in and have one each lol cant have you two falling out! 
Ozzie, say sorry to the lovely lady. Before I give you the 'look'
"
Awww that's not fair I get "the look" but she she started it, what does she get for being mean to me? OK, OK....sorry Fabfem....bitch!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aw, you can both snuggle in and have one each lol cant have you two falling out!
Ozzie, say sorry to the lovely lady. Before I give you the 'look'
Awww that's not fair I get "the look" but she she started it, what does she get for being mean to me? OK, OK....sorry Fabfem....bitch!! "
Oh ozzie, you've done it now! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
 "
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed. "
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed. "
That's because you are a geriatric. Bet you have your slippers on now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going "
Don't think they're into grumpy dads in slippers moaning about how loud the music is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going
Don't think they're into grumpy dads in slippers moaning about how loud the music is "
oh i'm sure he could find at least one with daddy issues |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going "
Had a meet with a 28 year old recently Bino....took me 2 days to recover from it. An 18 year old?? That would bury me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
That's because you are a geriatric. Bet you have your slippers on now "
Slippers, Rupert The Bear jimjams, Horlicks by the bedside and reading through the Saga holidays brochure as we speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going
Had a meet with a 28 year old recently Bino....took me 2 days to recover from it. An 18 year old?? That would bury me "
in that case get 2 then sit back and watch |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you've been invited to a party,
You're now at a party,
and you're now whinging about being at a party.
Confirmation indeed,single guys do whinge about everything.
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
ozzie you could get a wee american beauty type thing going
Had a meet with a 28 year old recently Bino....took me 2 days to recover from it. An 18 year old?? That would bury me
in that case get 2 then sit back and watch "
Ha ha ha ha I like your way of thinking chief but I think even that would kill me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'm 42, it's an 18 year old birthday party, I feel like a geriatric and the music is making my ears bleed.
That's because you are a geriatric. Bet you have your slippers on now
Slippers, Rupert The Bear jimjams, Horlicks by the bedside and reading through the Saga holidays brochure as we speak"
Yeah right. Your looking at the underwear section in the littlewoods catalogue |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah right. Your looking at the underwear section in the littlewoods catalogue "
I've laminated all the pages....it's cool they won't stick together, easily cleaned! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah right. Your looking at the underwear section in the littlewoods catalogue
I've laminated all the pages....it's cool they won't stick together, easily cleaned! "
So your not the one that rips them up and chucks them in the bushes then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah right. Your looking at the underwear section in the littlewoods catalogue
I've laminated all the pages....it's cool they won't stick together, easily cleaned!
So your not the one that rips them up and chucks them in the bushes then"
Nooooooo what a waste of a good catalogue!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone shot him yet
You want to?
Has anyone a gun
I have a spud gun in my car
I think my mates got a pellet gun some were that will hurt more  "
I have an air rifle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone shot him yet
You want to?
Has anyone a gun
I have a spud gun in my car
I think my mates got a pellet gun some were that will hurt more
I have an air rifle "
can i have a go to shot Ozzie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone shot him yet
You want to?
Has anyone a gun
I have a spud gun in my car
I think my mates got a pellet gun some were that will hurt more
I have an air rifle
can i have a go to shot Ozzie "
Me first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone shot him yet
You want to?
Has anyone a gun
I have a spud gun in my car
I think my mates got a pellet gun some were that will hurt more
I have an air rifle
can i have a go to shot Ozzie
Me first "
ok but don't fucking miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my mates got a pellet gun some were that will hurt more
Not as much as a pegging without lube as Pink Sapphire offered would "
you have got to love wee pinky |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me first "
You've got one eye going to the shop and the other coming back with the change and would need to be standing 6 inches away from me to hit me. Boywonder however has superhero vision and would no doubt get me right in the baws rendering me useless for the foreseeable future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me first
You've got one eye going to the shop and the other coming back with the change and would need to be standing 6 inches away from me to hit me. Boywonder however has superhero vision and would no doubt get me right in the baws rendering me useless for the foreseeable future."
Incorrect. I would see you quite clearly as it's a full moon, then the light would reflect your pretty bald head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have a bow and arrow or has it got to be a gun
What you going to do lick the suction cup before firing it "
No it a real bow and arrow from when i took archery lessons they have metal tips on them and the went through the fance at my old house |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Incorrect. I would see you quite clearly as it's a full moon, then the light would reflect your pretty bald head "
If it's a full moon won't you be too busy howling at it to shoot me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have a bow and arrow or has it got to be a gun
What you going to do lick the suction cup before firing it No it a real bow and arrow from when i took archery lessons they have metal tips on them and the went through the fance at my old house "
Batman you have an array of weapons and skills. You seem to be best for the job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Incorrect. I would see you quite clearly as it's a full moon, then the light would reflect your pretty bald head
If it's a full moon won't you be too busy howling at it to shoot me?"
I've done that already.. Now I want meat to play with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Batman you have an array of weapons and skills. You seem to be best for the job "
Why are you 2 conspiring to have me killed? I get bumped and you rekindle your live affair is that it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Incorrect. I would see you quite clearly as it's a full moon, then the light would reflect your pretty bald head
If it's a full moon won't you be too busy howling at it to shoot me?
I've done that already.. Now I want meat to play with "
If you want to play with him get him to do the truffle shuffle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Batman you have an array of weapons and skills. You seem to be best for the job
Why are you 2 conspiring to have me killed? I get bumped and you rekindle your live affair is that it? "
she my sister thats so wrong I am not as fucked up as you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Batman you have an array of weapons and skills. You seem to be best for the job
Why are you 2 conspiring to have me killed? I get bumped and you rekindle your live affair is that it?
she my sister thats so wrong I am not as fucked up as you "
It's all right me and Ozzie don't kiss on the lips so it doesn't count |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"she did try and play mums and dads with me once "
Not the strap on and the dog food thing again? Mate tell me you didn't let her out the leash on you? I couldn't speak properly for days after the last time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"she did try and play mums and dads with me once
Not the strap on and the dog food thing again? Mate tell me you didn't let her out the leash on you? I couldn't speak properly for days after the last time"
no i ran and hid under my bed till mum came home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"she did try and play mums and dads with me once
Yeah until you stopped paying maintenance and that killed that game "
well am a student you don't pay maintenance when your one |
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na doubt it