FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > your best sex joke
your best sex joke
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"post your best sex joke and no your last meet doesn't count A German guy approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy zex vit you" "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £50 an hour". "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky". "No problem", she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky". So off they go to the girls flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vil get on your hans und knees". She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds this odd, but figures its harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duckcaller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:"That was totally amazing, what do you call that?" "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique!" "  | |||
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"A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it up I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still fucking!" " love it! !! | |||
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"post your best sex joke and no your last meet doesn't count A German guy approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy zex vit you" "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £50 an hour". "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky". "No problem", she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky". So off they go to the girls flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vil get on your hans und knees". She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds this odd, but figures its harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duckcaller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:"That was totally amazing, what do you call that?" "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique!" "Brilliant!! | |||
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"A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it up I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still fucking!" " Funny as fuck | |||
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"If you are caught speeding by a police camera van which is manned by civilian staff and a ticket is issued..is it legal..bearing in mind that only a police officer can issue you with a speeding ticket." Funniest sex joke in years! | |||
"If you are caught speeding by a police camera van which is manned by civilian staff and a ticket is issued..is it legal..bearing in mind that only a police officer can issue you with a speeding ticket." My sides are in orbit | |||
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"If you are caught speeding by a police camera van which is manned by civilian staff and a ticket is issued..is it legal..bearing in mind that only a police officer can issue you with a speeding ticket. My sides are in orbit "this is in fact actually true | |||
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"Some one asked me how people view lesbians in my country. Apparently 'Usually in HD' wasn't the answer they were looking for!" | |||
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"“A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake in the living room?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch! "" boak  | |||
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"A man and woman, complete strangers are booked on an overnight sleeper train. Finding a mix up and that they have to share a room and so quick get over the initial embarrassment and settle Dow for the night he on the top bunk and her below. Around 2am he awakes freezing and apologetically enquires if she is awake. He then asks politely if she minded reaching into the cupboard and fetching him a spare blanket. She replied "I have a better idea, let's pretend for one night we are married" He thinks about it and agrees to which she replies "Get up and get you own fuckin blanket ya fat lazy bastard" " ^^^^^^^^^^^ | |||
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"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from "I'm a former bus driver and was asked that question by a 4th year girl on one of my school runs | |||
"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
I'm a former bus driver and was asked that question by a 4th year girl on one of my school runs"ooofffftttt!!!!!  | |||
