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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me and my mate were driving through dundee when we past a petrol station with a sign saying"free sex with every £15".
"We're having some of this" i said.
so i out the required 15 quid in and went in to pay.
i said to the cashier"that blonde over there looks nice is she available?"
"Oh its not as easy as it looks,i think of a number between 1 and 5,and if you pick the right number you get a fuck"
"5"i said
"No its 4"said the cashier.
"Can i have a go?"asked my mate
"Yeah why not"said the cashier
my mate chose 3
"I just told you it was 4"said the cashier.
driving away i said to my mate"what a fucking con just to get you to put fuel in your car".
My mate replied"oh its not a con,my wife filled up twice last week and won"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man walks into a drug-store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom-display, and the boy asks him, "Dad, what are these for ?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes Dad, I heard about them in health-class at school."
He looks over the display, and picks up a package containing 3 of them.
He asks, "Dad, why does this package contain 3 ?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys . . . ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool " says the boy. He notices a 6-pack, and again asks, "Then who are these for Dad ?"
"Those are for college-men," the Dad answers . . . TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW! " exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these one's ?" he asks . . . picking up a large 12-pack.
With a deep sigh, and a tear in his eye, the Dad replies, "Those are for married men son . . . . . . . . . .
"ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March ! " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get your d*unk ass off the merry-go-round! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A man walks into a drug-store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom-display, and the boy asks him, "Dad, what are these for ?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes Dad, I heard about them in health-class at school."
He looks over the display, and picks up a package containing 3 of them.
He asks, "Dad, why does this package contain 3 ?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys . . . ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool " says the boy. He notices a 6-pack, and again asks, "Then who are these for Dad ?"
"Those are for college-men," the Dad answers . . . TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW! " exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these one's ?" he asks . . . picking up a large 12-pack.
With a deep sigh, and a tear in his eye, the Dad replies, "Those are for married men son . . . . . . . . . .
"ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March ! ""
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