FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Socials...........
Socials...........
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I have been to a few now, and can anyone tell me why there is always a frenzy to "couple up" with the single people on here?
I know some folk don't like going to socials on their own, but there are always folks that you sit, chat and dance with.
Would have thought it was a good event to meet other "singles" but have always found that the single peeps are few and far between.
Just my thoughts, anyone have their own ideas??????????
Mines xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have noticed that mines hun
but i notice it more with fems
some has 2 go with a guy
being single myself i go with a fem
friend..i wouldnt go 2 a social
with a guy unless he was a friend xxx  |
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By *l_and_geeCouple (MM)
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
here's your chance Mines, what about organising a singles only social?
Would that sort of thing work.. am not sure, it could just turn out to be what a lot of peeps are looking for. Would think it would take a lot of management to get the numbers balanced
Al xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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must admit,,,if i was a single fem i wouldnt like to go to a social myself,,,like walking into a pub alone,,,wouldnt do that eithere lol
auds xx  |
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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago
kirkcaldy |
i have done both and for the bulk of time i do couple up with someone it usually when we have arranged a wee bit of fun after tho not all time. but have no probs showing up at them on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive done both- and i tend to find if you go on your own you tend to get ignored more(single guy syndrome)whereas if your "with" someone more folks say hi.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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obviously i am not a single fem however having gone to many socials i think the reason ppl wouldnt go on their own is because to put it bluntly .... hardly anyone "socializes"! ppl stick to their own friends and hardly venture out of their comfort zone to speak to anyone else.... i know i wouldnt want to go on my own and get practically ignored all evening. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as a single fem i to have done both .
sometimes its nice to take a new lad who hasnt been to a social an let him get to know people who wouldnt as a single male give him the time of day so sometimes its jiust nice to be nice an let newbies go with someone folk do tend to speak to or know well .
i used to always go on my own tho at the start of them ,
and sometimes i still do , an if i take someone it dont always mean im paired with them either its someone to walk through the door with lol (kidding) i have no fear of going by myself tho lol |
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yeah i guess its a bit intimidating for some to attend socials on their own i also have done both but do prefer a partner there with me rather than going on my own even altho i know many mnay people from here i guess some r just not as confidant as others to attend socials on their own and i do agree more ppl will chat to u if ur in a group or as part of a couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive done both- and i tend to find if you go on your own you tend to get ignored more(single guy syndrome)whereas if your "with" someone more folks say hi.."
i would say that is down to the persons confidence and ability to mingle, not to do with the fact single guess are ignored as such.
i think anyone going to a social whether that be single male, single female or a couple will feel slightly ignored if they sit and wait for people to come to talk to them.
i guess its all about taking your balls/boobs in your hands and approaching people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well..being the blunt spoken person i am...
there is a frenzy to couple up for several reasons..some already mentioned..
Socials are marketed as great places to meet others and get to know 'whos whos'..... hmmm well to a degree but if you are on your own..and especially if you are a single guy, its very difficult.
People do no just wander over and say hi, they tend to sit in company they already know and only speak to those they dont know ...if they are at the bar or are introduced via someone else that knows them.
That being the case 'the single' has the choice to walk over and just introduce themselves. If its a single fem..then chances are they will be fairly warmly welcomed (as long as not seen as a threat to the other ladies in the company...yes this really can happen!). The single male will be viewed in a manner not dissimilar to how they are treated in the chat room. That is not to say that they may not stike lucky and be invited to join the company but having been to many many socials ( this site and others), this is not generally the norm (i never said impossible..but its not a given it will happen). A single male needs to rely on already knowing someone there or hope that there is a single fem that may 'bump' into him and then he is no longer alone.
Some of the single fems feel they need to take a partner because if not they feel or can be viewed as either (a) a threat to other fems, (b) sad that no one wanted to take them, (c) billy no mates lol or (d) they are somehow validated and more attractive as they have a partner.
This is not always the case, but this can and does happen. Having been part of a couple and a single fem on this site and another for over 7 years..I have pretty much seen it all.
I am not immune to this myself, as I have always made a point of taking a partner to socials. I admit that this does tend to be as I kind of feel i 'should' have a male partner and perhaps there is a part of me that feels it is expected or somehow is more 'acceptable' if i do, rather than been seen as 'someone on the prowl' and /or 'unable to find a man to take her'. I laugh as I type this, nonetheless I am being honest lol.
Soooo that being said..im off to find a partner for the Halloween social!
vol
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Soooo that being said..im off to find a partner for the Halloween social!
vol
xx
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vol .... I am guessing you always bring a large couple with you to these events ....
Kirsty
xxx xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Done both, coupled up, and flown solo, but just gone with the attitude that they are simply socials, lovely chances to meet folks and pretty much gone with the attitude most have advised in this thread and its been great fun.
T x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm
As a single guy on here who has been to quite a few parties & socials, I've never had any problem going to these things "on my own" as I usually get on with most people and I'm not shy in striking up a conversation. However, it's always nice to arrange to meet up with a friend before heading to the party together, maybe for a few drinks. I can see how some people would just go and sit in the corner and not say much if they are on their own. (In my experience, most swingers are actually really shy). But a social is just that - a social - where the idea is to meet people socially who you have never spoken to before. After that, well it's up to you..... 
PS Auds - If you are going on your own minus Jase, can I be your partner? lol
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"Hmmm
As a single guy on here who has been to quite a few parties & socials, I've never had any problem going to these things "on my own" as I usually get on with most people and I'm not shy in striking up a conversation. However, it's always nice to arrange to meet up with a friend before heading to the party together, maybe for a few drinks. I can see how some people would just go and sit in the corner and not say much if they are on their own. (In my experience, most swingers are actually really shy). But a social is just that - a social - where the idea is to meet people socially who you have never spoken to before. After that, well it's up to you.....
PS Auds - If you are going on your own minus Jase, can I be your partner? lol
"
Wanna be my friend lol ??????????
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Brennie xxxx |
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Thanks for the views, some very interesting a valid points raised. I had thought about some of them myself, but also some I hadnt, just wanted to see the opinions of others.
Thanks
Mines xxxxxxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no been to any socials yet as they fall on mr work nights i my self would not attend one of these alone as dont know many folk and is a big scary step alone to be taken |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty new here but would love to go to one of the socials. Single fem though and probably would be a bit cowardly custard! But more for the fact that being a way up in Thurso for any of the socials I would have to travel a fair distance and therefore have the extra pressure of having to have a good time....cos it will take so much effort to get to the central belt!!!
But having said that....I would be more inclined to try and find a friendly experience couple who would be happy to introduce me to others to take me under their wing in a platonic sense than try and pair up with a guy! I'm a single girl so wouldn't want to give the impression of being part of a couple as that would be a bit false in my book! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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can emagine how scary and dificult it can be for single people thinking of going to "socials"
we gave up going to them simply because they where far from living up to thier name " socials" .......they were groups of folks , couples mostly who where ONLY interested in thier little group, and if you where not in that group , or any of the other little groups .....you spent the whole night basicaly ALONE ,......
can anyone tell me whats "social" about a night like that ???????????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry not trying to scare folk from goin .......
maybe trying to make those who do go and sit in thier wee groups and IGNORE all others see that its not the way to be at a "social"....
more and more folk are feeling the same as us ..... we just say it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i agree some peeps do sit in there groups....its kinda part n parcel of what happens in life thou i suppose.....think it also depends on the venue its-self and how its laid out....some make it easier to socialise than others.......
No-one be out of by comments thou...come along, try it for yourself, what one person finds maybe isnt what another finds......sometimes its what you make it !! bit like swinging in general !! |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"can emagine how scary and dificult it can be for single people thinking of going to "socials"
we gave up going to them simply because they where far from living up to thier name " socials" .......they were groups of folks , couples mostly who where ONLY interested in thier little group, and if you where not in that group , or any of the other little groups .....you spent the whole night basicaly ALONE ,......
can anyone tell me whats "social" about a night like that ????????????????"
Will I be sitting on my own then Grid seeing as I am not a couple or part of any group?
A social is what you make of it and if you don't go around and speak to other people you shouldn't just expect them to come to you!
;-) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First social I ever went to I went alone knowing only a handful of folk and had only been on fab a few weeks.
I drove an hour there, changed in the loo's as I didn't know the dress code and sat with one of only about 6 people I knew.
But some lovelies who had seen me once before introduced themselves, took me round the room to introduce me to more people and I left 2 hours later to drive home with a great feeling of friendships made and never again feeling alone when attending a social.
Not everyone's face will fit at all socials, very much like life, there are those we are attracted to as friends and those we are not.
Yes I was nervous, yes I was unsure, but like all things if you hold out the hand of friendship someone will put their hand in yours.
I always attempt to pass on to others at socials now how I was received at that first social and seek out 'newbies' to chat to. xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i attended my first at xmas and had a ball i now try to go to as many as i can .they are a great way of meeting new people and just letting your hair down i try to speak to as many as i can even if i cant remember who the next day someone always reminds me llf.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well we are the cpl that sit in their wee group.
just because the friends we do sit with we dont see very often and thats what you do at parties?
not everyone has the confidence to go round a room full of strangers and introduce themselves,which i may say a cpl we know did and just got stared back at in silence!!
socials are for getn to know new friends and partying with old 1s,,thats my take on it anyway,,
roll on halloween !! woohoo
auds xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well we are the cpl that sit in their wee group.
just because the friends we do sit with we dont see very often and thats what you do at parties?
not everyone has the confidence to go round a room full of strangers and introduce themselves,which i may say a cpl we know did and just got stared back at in silence!!
socials are for getn to know new friends and partying with old 1s,,thats my take on it anyway,,
roll on halloween !! woohoo
auds xx"
very true auds ...............but the final straw comes when "old friends" whom you have played with more than once .....say 2 words to me " hi GRID " ..ffs ...no even Ian and totally ignore your wife all evening .
And you get asked by folk the next day in chat who you saw there " why where you not at social" ....and we were announced on the bloody PA system as a charity auction . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well we are the cpl that sit in their wee group.
just because the friends we do sit with we dont see very often and thats what you do at parties?
not everyone has the confidence to go round a room full of strangers and introduce themselves,which i may say a cpl we know did and just got stared back at in silence!!
socials are for getn to know new friends and partying with old 1s,,thats my take on it anyway,,
roll on halloween !! woohoo
auds xx"
well its prob no surprise but i agree with auds ... we generally go to socials with our friends we have made from here which actually is the whole point .... we went round every single table at the last halloween social and introduced ourselves and at one table got looked at like we were totally mental!!!!
the night is what u make it, go along have a laff albeit with "old" friends and make some new ones in the process simple as ....
Grid im not sure your bad experience should put your off attending tbh i dont think it actually had alot to do with the social itself, more the couple you refer to (I do realise this is your decision to make) you attended a few socials prior to this one and by your own admission enjoyed them. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a theory,uk wide,swingers are a small minority, reduce that to swingers in scotland and you pretty much have yourself a virtua-village where given time, everyone becomes familiar with one another, we all hope to get known in favourable terms,as people have said in other threads.
But just as you have in any small community you will have folks who either wont like,dont like or choose not to like.
If we all were 100% best buddies with all, our friends list would go off the scale and the pc would go on melt doon with all the warm n friendly messages.
That does'nt happen because we are people with diffrent likes n tastes, you see that in an even smaller scale at a social, its no critisism, its not knocking anyone, just my 2p worth
T |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
interesting question....
as most of you know.... i think i have been to all the events as a single guy.... and I can tell you that at times it is tough doing.....
I have been to events where I feel I have been embraced and accepted from the time that I have stepped thru that door.... but to be fair I do have to say that I have also been to socials where I have felt like a bit part.....
just one of those things... and as a result I am now a lot more aware or cautious in deciding which events I go to and which I don't......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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but dont you think that the more you do go to the more faces you get to know so more inclined to go over and chat?
i know if it wasnt for the chatroom we wouldnt know alot of folk at the socials so safety in numbers thats what i say,,,our very 1st social we went alone ,,just the 2 of us and if it wasnt for a cpl we had just breifly chatted to the night before in the chatroom we would have left after 20 mins i think 
auds xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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looking forward to the social on Friday but now with some hesitancy and trepidation.
had this idea in our heads that everyone were going to be like 1 big family, all like minded people ready to accept the newbies and nervous critters on their first venture into the unknown world of the SOCIAL, it's saddening to read these stories and hope they are rare cases and not the norm, I guess we wait until Friday and find out if it's gonna be a great night or a complete disaster.
hoping for the great night, cyas there those of you who are going.
xxx |
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As the OP, I feel this thread has kinda gone a bit off subject. Not that its a problem, freedom of speech and all that.
My original point has been covered, and some very good points of view brought up. (Thanks Vol) and others.
There are valid reasons on both sides, for going with a partner and for going alone. But generally going alone can be scary, specially if your fairly new and don't know many people. I'm lucky as I have friends to sit with if I'm alone or not.
Everyone is different, some are more outgoing than others, some will sit and hope folk come and talk to them and other can mix more easily. Jury is out on where I fit in that lol .
Anyway roll on the Socials they are great, and Newbies should give them a whirl its a hoot.
Mines xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of singles go to the socials.
It's not a case of being invited it's usually a case of the addy going up in the forums and ppl put their name on the list so it's first come first served. xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hey all - just stumbled across this thread while having a trawl - and it was of interest to me being fairly new here and attending my 1st social this weekend. Some interesting observations - some scary some good. I have found since being here that youre a pretty friendly bunch in chat and whilst that isnt rl its given me the confidence to make the effort to come meet u all in rl,I will be coming with a partner who has kindly offered to show me around but at the same time i think if u are new u need to make a bit of effort yourself.Whilst im sure it will be daunting approaching some of you in your groups (which like real life is ofc gonna happen) ill certainly be making the effort this weekend to meet as many of u as i can,liking the armband thing - kinda makes it easy as an icebreaker :p I think at the end of the day it almost becomes a moot point as everyone is there to meet people,and in this community it doesnt neccassarily have to be about sex strange as that sounds but bear with me,i know a lot of peeps have clicked in here in chat etc or over a social meet but it just wasnt going to be a sexual thing. As for your original point mines i think i wouldnt have the bottle to turn up by myself certainly for 1st one as there is a lot of uncertainty as to how and what happens there (translation - pissed scared here! ) jk - actually really excited about it. but all going well i like to think of myself as a fairly confident character and id have no probs going in future solo if all goes well this weekend. Ill certainly be making the effort at future events and in chat to make new peeps feel as welcome as u guys have done for me,and mines if u ever need a date to turn up with just holler :P just my 2cents - love to you all x |
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Just had a squint over this thread, some good points to be noted for friday i think.
I like to think i get on with most, if not everyone, although feel free to peel me from the bat and introduce me around
It does seem very daunting for the single male to turn up on his own and i never thought id be doing it...but im gonna give it a try 
i wonder how long do u speak to people for aswell, say u get introduced to a table and ur siting chatting having a drink, do u sit there all night in ur new company drinking and chatting as it would seem easier the more comfartabe u got, or would u be wondering if uv outstayed ur welcome and should maybe go and speak to other people, but u might not wanna appear rude by abandoning ur present company?
Ah fook, i guess time will tell lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am looking at it as hell just like going to a club or pub sitting next to folk yapping chatting at bar so what we swingers we human to takes all sort of folk to make a world some speak some might not but hey ho that life xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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titti i thought the pink nipple tassles and g-string i was planning on turning up in would be plenty but ill bow to your superior wisdom in these matters :P |
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