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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, but have always refrained from raising a hand as it solves nothing.
To answer your original post, no one ever pushes to far,no matter what they have done or did not do. The abuser(cos that is what they are) is a coward, craves power, lacks self control, lacks the intelligence to communicate their feelings by any other means than using their fists(insert other means of abuse as you see fit) and any other petty excuse they can concoct to excuse or condone their appalling behaviour to their victim.
I have deliberately not specified gender as domestic abuse affects both sexes. |
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I put up with 3 years of verbal and mental abuse with my ex partner. He thought it was normal behaviour and constantly picked a fight with me. It got to the stage where I ultimately started to fear he would raise his hands to me and plucked up the courage to tell him to leave. Whether its mental/verbal or physical, it's wrong full stop and if anyone gets to the stage they actually want to hit someone, which btw is assault, it's time to get out. There is a difference though between, feeling the urge to slap someone cos they've annoyed you, (we've probably all felt that at some stage,) to wanting to do serious harm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you never wanted to hit someone
Ooooh yes "
Watched Dog rescue on tv other nite, no real urge to hit anyone, but lock the owners in a room with no food or water,,,or toilet, generally see how they liked it. |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Yes, but have always refrained from raising a hand as it solves nothing.
To answer your original post, no one ever pushes to far,no matter what they have done or did not do. The abuser(cos that is what they are) is a coward, craves power, lacks self control, lacks the intelligence to communicate their feelings by any other means than using their fists(insert other means of abuse as you see fit) and any other petty excuse they can concoct to excuse or condone their appalling behaviour to their victim.
I have deliberately not specified gender as domestic abuse affects both sexes."
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Yes there are folk who push to far there is many proven cases of it. before you get all inflammed and start purging about this stayement think
Scenario woman off shopping for the day asks partner to do the dishes no probs dear he replys off she pops he settles down to an afternoon of football and a sleep later she returns and lets her anger be known he dares to answer back to find the lovely wedding gifts from a few yrs ago hurtling towards his head he moves forwards to stop the volley of projectiles to be slapped senselessly trying to hold her arms it escalates they fall down landing on her his head rams into hers as her arm snaps with the weight upon it reverse the roles for pc means if ya wish so in my opinion yes you can push to far  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I grew up with my dad beating the crap out of my mum, too young to do anything until one night I heard them in the bedroom. Him hitting her I went in but couldnt get him off doran down stairs got a frying pan and hit him with it. He stopped hitting her and turned on me. I wasnt agraid of him from then on. I vowed no man woyld raise his hsnd to me again. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men hitting women is a no no get pissed off just thinking of it seen it happen before me n a mate went over n batterd himi think its completely wrong And does upset me if im honest. Restraining is a different story tho woman batter men and restraining them is the best thing to do. |
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"I put up with 3 years of verbal and mental abuse with my ex partner. He thought it was normal behaviour and constantly picked a fight with me. It got to the stage where I ultimately started to fear he would raise his hands to me and plucked up the courage to tell him to leave. Whether its mental/verbal or physical, it's wrong full stop and if anyone gets to the stage they actually want to hit someone, which btw is assault, it's time to get out. There is a difference though between, feeling the urge to slap someone cos they've annoyed you, (we've probably all felt that at some stage,) to wanting to do serious harm. "
I agree with dess I sufferes ment and verbal abuse for a number of years from an ex partner and always thought when the hitting would start but I plucked up courage and left |
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"Men hitting women is a no no get pissed off just thinking of it seen it happen before me n a mate went over n batterd him "
No violent act against a man or a woman and this was wrong too two wrongs do not make a right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Either way its not acceptable but it happens daily. Like a few others who have posted I have been on the receiving end and also have fought back. Rage is a funny thing and all people react differently to it, but it doesnt condone the fact that abuse in whichever form is wrong. Its much better to walk away than spend an evening in the hospital or police cells. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Domestic. Or any other. Violence. Should. Never be tolerated. However. Personally. I think anger. Is a negative. Energy. It dulls the soul, one should. Try. And channel. It in other ways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been on the receiving end of this both mentally & violently its definitely should not be tolerated from both sexes I went to a conference 2 years ago & the amount of men that had been subjected to this by a female also |
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"Has and person in a domestic violence situation thought they had pushed it to far,"
Frequently and wore the mental scars far longer than the bruises lasted. But I lived with my ex knowing that he thought he had the right to control my every thought and action. That did not mean I agreed with his thinking.
His reaction was his to control, and nothing to do with my behaviour. I walked away when I realised that My kids and I deserved better.
No person male or female has the right to mentally and / or physically abuse any other person
Shy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men hitting women is a no no get pissed off just thinking of it seen it happen before me n a mate went over n batterd him No violent act against a man or a woman and this was wrong too two wrongs do not make a right "
just giving him a taster of what he done to his mrs apparently he done it for aalmost 2 years which is upsetting. |
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"Personally I think emotional and mental abuse can be worse.... I have been there . It's sad ... No one should ever be abused in any form x "
That's very true. I still have some issues as a direct result and its been over almost 5 years. |
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I believe that there is a degree of psychological abuse that goes hand in hand with physical abuse. For someone who is dealing with extremes of both (and with first hand experience) i can understand why they may feel that the physical abuse is easier to handle. However like everything in life am guessing everyone who has experienced abuse will feel differently
Shy x |
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"Personally I think emotional and mental abuse can be worse.... I have been there . It's sad ... No one should ever be abused in any form x "
Refuge I was in said mental and emotional abuse was alot worse than physical as bruise breaks mend but mental abuse stays with you
Im 10 years down the line and I still have issues to deal with in.my head xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you never wanted to hit someone"
I think most of us have at some point in life but its about being able to control the emotion and knowing what is and isn't acceptable. Emotional/mental or physical abuse is never acceptable but unfortunately it does happen, most of it behind closed doors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suffered physical abuse for just over ten years , I am a survivor! loads of help out there though the justice system totally sucks.
Would I hit someone dam right I would , stand on my toes suffer my wrath , something I wish I had the bottle to do many years ago .Will never let anyone talk down or think they can treat me like shit ever again , paybacks a bastard! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does the feeling what if so and so hadn't walked in, how far would it have gone and will it happen again, ever go away or should they just stop thinking what if, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does the feeling what if so and so hadn't walked in, how far would it have gone and will it happen again, ever go away or should they just stop thinking what if, "
five years on and there is always a what if at the back of my head , takes courage to walk away and has made me a much stronger person and who I am today , I have scars mentally and on my body that will never go away but I never look back always ahead |
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"Does the feeling what if so and so hadn't walked in, how far would it have gone and will it happen again, ever go away or should they just stop thinking what if, "
They have to heal in a way that is good for them. Some people need closure, some walk away with their head held high, others never lose the fear, some need to talk it through, others just need time to heal.
The only right way - is the one that is right for the person.
Shy x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,"
if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again "
so what your really saying is that people are incapable of changing?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again so what your really saying is that people are incapable of changing? "
abusers yes |
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again so what your really saying is that people are incapable of changing? "
dont think thats whats being said .more that he/she will never be in that position again as he/she will never allow that behaviour around themselve |
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again so what your really saying is that people are incapable of changing? abusers yes "
I disagree, everyone is capable of change. It is their choice to make.
Shy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From personal experience the abusers will not change until they realise that everyone else is not responsible in how they should live their life's self pity and jealously is what caused the physical, mental and emotional torture I suffered for years and I was punished for his and others in his life that made him feel so aggressive and sorry for himself.
It took me ten years to change the way I was made to think and act. I am a stronger person and have accepted what happened to me it is a awful situation and never would wish on any one I just refuse to drown in self pity like he has and always will  |
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"From personal experience the abusers will not change until they realise that everyone else is not responsible in how they should live their life's self pity and jealously is what caused the physical, mental and emotional torture I suffered for years and I was punished for his and others in his life that made him feel so aggressive and sorry for himself.
It took me ten years to change the way I was made to think and act. I am a stronger person and have accepted what happened to me it is a awful situation and never would wish on any one I just refuse to drown in self pity like he has and always will "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From personal experience the abusers will not change until they realise that everyone else is not responsible in how they should live their life's self pity and jealously is what caused the physical, mental and emotional torture I suffered for years and I was punished for his and others in his life that made him feel so aggressive and sorry for himself.
It took me ten years to change the way I was made to think and act. I am a stronger person and have accepted what happened to me it is a awful situation and never would wish on any one I just refuse to drown in self pity like he has and always will "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again so what your really saying is that people are incapable of changing? abusers yes
I disagree, everyone is capable of change. It is their choice to make.
Shy x"
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"From personal experience the abusers will not change until they realise that everyone else is not responsible in how they should live their life's self pity and jealously is what caused the physical, mental and emotional torture I suffered for years and I was punished for his and others in his life that made him feel so aggressive and sorry for himself.
It took me ten years to change the way I was made to think and act. I am a stronger person and have accepted what happened to me it is a awful situation and never would wish on any one I just refuse to drown in self pity like he has and always will "
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A lot of emotive responses here.
Assault is assault abd it is dealt with as such, more people need to carry the process forward to the prosecution stage instead of just "walking away" as the abuser will repeat the offence.
Also in my observed opinion there are a lot of highly abusive/violent women out there, it's not all down to men.
If it happens call 101 and lets see how empowered they feel then.
Stay safe folks. |
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"A lot of emotive responses here.
Assault is assault abd it is dealt with as such, more people need to carry the process forward to the prosecution stage instead of just "walking away" as the abuser will repeat the offence.
Also in my observed opinion there are a lot of highly abusive/violent women out there, it's not all down to men.
If it happens call 101 and lets see how empowered they feel then.
Stay safe folks. "
Something so simple as dialling 3 little numbers is incredibly difficult. Particularly when it comes to domestic abuse.
Shy |
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I want to try and put a wee positive note on this thread.
Hats off to those who have openly admitted to being victims of domestic abuse - it takes guts, but if your story helps one person then it is worth it.
It takes strength and bravery walk away so you should be proud of yourself.
For those experiencing domestic abuse and reading this post - i truly hope you realise that you are not on your own. There are people out there willing to listen and help.
Shy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to try and put a wee positive note on this thread.
Hats off to those who have openly admitted to being victims of domestic abuse - it takes guts, but if your story helps one person then it is worth it.
It takes strength and bravery walk away so you should be proud of yourself.
For those experiencing domestic abuse and reading this post - i truly hope you realise that you are not on your own. There are people out there willing to listen and help.
Shy "
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"I want to try and put a wee positive note on this thread.
Hats off to those who have openly admitted to being victims of domestic abuse - it takes guts, but if your story helps one person then it is worth it.
It takes strength and bravery walk away so you should be proud of yourself.
For those experiencing domestic abuse and reading this post - i truly hope you realise that you are not on your own. There are people out there willing to listen and help.
Shy "
Well said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hat's off to those who make a decision to leave a abusive partner be it male or female the fear before and after they leave must be terrible.
also the length of time it takes to trust again I remember very well mrs f's reaction when I would go to put my arm around her she would duck as if she was trying to avoid a punch or slap she would never go into detail with you for pity but I know what she went through and believe me it was terrible
So male or female it can be done but I also understand how hard it is to take the first step for me guts courage is a understatement x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to get back to the way they were,
He has never touch a drop of alcohol since. And he is very very sorry and disgusted with himself for it to get that far,if he has done it once he will do it again fact , abusers never stop may just take longer for it to happen forgive once and they know they will be forgiven again "
In some cases that is true but i know both concerned and He will never allow himself to be in that position again because he knows that it would be the end for him/them and i do believe this and She is handling this in the right way for her to discuss it openly , to take on board other folks experiences because it helps to know how others have delt with the situations .love you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to try and put a wee positive note on this thread.
Hats off to those who have openly admitted to being victims of domestic abuse - it takes guts, but if your story helps one person then it is worth it.
It takes strength and bravery walk away so you should be proud of yourself.
For those experiencing domestic abuse and reading this post - i truly hope you realise that you are not on your own. There are people out there willing to listen and help.
Shy "
very well said shy couldn't agree more if theses posts help anyone in similar situations most definitely worthwhile sharing |
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Sometimes someone who is not normally abusive, is out in a position where they are pushed beyond all reason especially if they've been drinking. Violence is inexcusable regardless of the circumstances, but occasionally a person can be pushed across that line. |
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After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad |
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"After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad "
Some of my friends were talking about it on fb might try and catch it on demand later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in that situation many years ago, a long time before C was on the scene. Many things happened to me, that I don't want to go into. C has helped me put my life together. |
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"After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad Some of my friends were talking about it on fb might try and catch it on demand later "
Jacs it was good xx |
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"After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad Some of my friends were talking about it on fb might try and catch it on demand later
Jacs it was good xx"
Just watched this its amazing what some people will put up with when they are in love with someone |
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"After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad Some of my friends were talking about it on fb might try and catch it on demand later
Jacs it was good xxJust watched this its amazing what some people will put up with when they are in love with someone "
It becomes less about love and more about a lack of self belief and control
Shy |
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"After we have all bn talking about this did anyone watch the programme tonight on bbc3 "murdered by her boyfriend"
4yrs of domestic abuse this girl took and.he finally murdered her was a true story I was in tears at the end was so sad Some of my friends were talking about it on fb might try and catch it on demand later
Jacs it was good xxJust watched this its amazing what some people will put up with when they are in love with someone
It becomes less about love and more about a lack of self belief and control
Shy "
Yeah this girls story you could see as time went on she was having self doubts about herself and was starting to blame herself for what was happening to her |
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