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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've fallen for a guy on fab ( unfortunately something I didn't want to happen) we chat all the time and meet up when we can! I've told him my thoughts and in the nicest way he's told me he doesn't want a relationship! Completely understand and respect that but how do I stop myself getting hurt and upset!?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've fallen for a guy on fab ( unfortunately something I didn't want to happen) we chat all the time and meet up when we can! I've told him my thoughts and in the nicest way he's told me he doesn't want a relationship! Completely understand and respect that but how do I stop myself getting hurt and upset!? "
Real life answer here ok - you don't im afraid.
If hes set in stone about not wanting a relationship then you will get hurt - only telling you the truth and wont butter it up.
The truth hurts sometimes im afraid, hope it works out though  |
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"I've fallen for a guy on fab ( unfortunately something I didn't want to happen) we chat all the time and meet up when we can! I've told him my thoughts and in the nicest way he's told me he doesn't want a relationship! Completely understand and respect that but how do I stop myself getting hurt and upset!? "
The way to stop the feelings and getting hurt is to cut all ties from him.
The minuet my feelings changed towards anyone I'd be out of there and vice versa.
If you can keep meeting and just remain friends then great otherwise I'd get out... Good luck xxx |
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By *araidWoman
over a year ago
the west (ish) |
Well see, I kind of think that everyone is entitled to have their heart broken. Chat to him if you want to but at least you understand the outcome will hurt - but then, you're hurting already . After all, it may just fizzle out of its own accord anyway.
Follow your heart but be prepared to take the consequences. |
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". The way to stop the feelings and getting hurt is to cut all ties from him. "
And don't think you can change his mind if you keep chatting and meeting him. He has been honest with you and he has obviously thought about what's best for him.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of us are only human and fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it we ALL have feelings. Even the ones who try their hardest to deny them. What goes along with that is the likelihood that we will at some point be vulnerable and hurt. Sometimes damage limitation means friendships may have to be lost. Its sad, but unless you can find a way to cope and not continually torture yourself this may be your only option OP. As the self confessed queen of the broken heart however, I would always say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Good luck my dear...xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All of us are only human and fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it we ALL have feelings. Even the ones who try their hardest to deny them. What goes along with that is the likelihood that we will at some point be vulnerable and hurt. Sometimes damage limitation means friendships may have to be lost. Its sad, but unless you can find a way to cope and not continually torture yourself this may be your only option OP. As the self confessed queen of the broken heart however, I would always say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Good luck my dear...xx "
Very wise words! Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been here before and I know how your feeling. It's worse than any physical pain.
I would agree with anyone who has said go cold turkey and cut all ties. It will really hurt for a few weeks but keep yourself busy, go out and see friends etc and each week will get a little easier  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been here before and I know how your feeling. It's worse than any physical pain.
I would agree with anyone who has said go cold turkey and cut all ties. It will really hurt for a few weeks but keep yourself busy, go out and see friends etc and each week will get a little easier "
I'm thinking this is a good idea! Meeting new people on this will help! And getting out in this lovely weather as I'm off for the summer from college! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You might find since you have told him he will prob start keeping his distance
Well if he has any decency he would
X"
I'm sure this is what's happening already! It's better if it just fizzes out rather than cutting ties altogether! X |
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"All of us are only human and fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it we ALL have feelings. Even the ones who try their hardest to deny them. What goes along with that is the likelihood that we will at some point be vulnerable and hurt. Sometimes damage limitation means friendships may have to be lost. Its sad, but unless you can find a way to cope and not continually torture yourself this may be your only option OP. As the self confessed queen of the broken heart however, I would always say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Good luck my dear...xx "
Very true jints...... And as has been said best thing is to cut all ties you will get over it eventually
And good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you don't choose to fall in love with someone so you cant decide not to love them anymore. I hope you can get over them without the constant thoughts of them detracting from all the other great things you have in your life.a broken heart can take a very very long time to heal, there is nothing more heartbreaking than knowing you will never again get to see or speak to the person you love x |
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Ok I am going to sound like a complete cow here so here goes.......
Seen loads of fab relationships come and go on here and I would say the vast majority don't last....and a huge amount end badly leaving people pretty bitter.....
It's probably a good idea it didn't come to anything for your own sake.....I think when people have multiple meets it can lead to feelings etc....so be aware when organising multiple meets and choose carefully....
As the rest have said perhaps just take time for yourself and keep contact to a minimum
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok I am going to sound like a complete cow here so here goes.......
Seen loads of fab relationships come and go on here and I would say the vast majority don't last....and a huge amount end badly leaving people pretty bitter.....
It's probably a good idea it didn't come to anything for your own sake.....I think when people have multiple meets it can lead to feelings etc....so be aware when organising multiple meets and choose carefully....
As the rest have said perhaps just take time for yourself and keep contact to a minimum
"
Yeah, I completely understand that and I wouldn't want it to go tits up! I don't think I would want to go any further for that reason alone! I would at least still like to stay friends but I'm not sure if that's even possible? |
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"Ok I am going to sound like a complete cow here so here goes.......
Seen loads of fab relationships come and go on here and I would say the vast majority don't last....and a huge amount end badly leaving people pretty bitter.....
It's probably a good idea it didn't come to anything for your own sake.....I think when people have multiple meets it can lead to feelings etc....so be aware when organising multiple meets and choose carefully....
As the rest have said perhaps just take time for yourself and keep contact to a minimum
Yeah, I completely understand that and I wouldn't want it to go tits up! I don't think I would want to go any further for that reason alone! I would at least still like to stay friends but I'm not sure if that's even possible? "
I think first you need to decide was it love or lust or maybe just getting a bit carried away with it....it can happen (no offence intended) .... Once you get it right I your head there's no reason why you can't be friends....but get your head straight first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All of us are only human and fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it we ALL have feelings. Even the ones who try their hardest to deny them. What goes along with that is the likelihood that we will at some point be vulnerable and hurt. Sometimes damage limitation means friendships may have to be lost. Its sad, but unless you can find a way to cope and not continually torture yourself this may be your only option OP. As the self confessed queen of the broken heart however, I would always say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Good luck my dear...xx "
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All of us are only human and fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it we ALL have feelings. Even the ones who try their hardest to deny them. What goes along with that is the likelihood that we will at some point be vulnerable and hurt. Sometimes damage limitation means friendships may have to be lost. Its sad, but unless you can find a way to cope and not continually torture yourself this may be your only option OP. As the self confessed queen of the broken heart however, I would always say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Good luck my dear...xx "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have loved and lost ginty and have to say no would have been better to not to .it turned me into a person who will forever refuse to let someone get close..i just walk away it easier i will never experience the pain it caused again |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"I've fallen for a guy on fab ( unfortunately something I didn't want to happen) we chat all the time and meet up when we can! I've told him my thoughts and in the nicest way he's told me he doesn't want a relationship! Completely understand and respect that but how do I stop myself getting hurt and upset!? "
You dont!
But you do learn!
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have loved and lost ginty and have to say no would have been better to not to .it turned me into a person who will forever refuse to let someone get close..i just walk away it easier i will never experience the pain it caused again "
That's so sad because it means you could be losing out on so much happiness and while I understand your point of view my heart will remain on my sleeve. The very worst thing that could happen to me already has and I've survived it. In order to have the joy I'll run the risk of the sorrow.....but I won't deliberately torture myself...... |
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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
".....there is nothing more heartbreaking than knowing you will never again get to see or speak to the person you loved x"
Yep, been there and yep it's bloomin difficult.
But.......life moves on, and why not turn a negative to a positive, maybe another guy you meet in the future will match your feelings. "Better to have loved and lost, than.........." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've fallen for a guy on fab ( unfortunately something I didn't want to happen) we chat all the time and meet up when we can! I've told him my thoughts and in the nicest way he's told me he doesn't want a relationship! Completely understand and respect that but how do I stop myself getting hurt and upset!? "
Sweetie it's the most horrible thing in the world when it happens. But step back, and regroup. I've had this happen, and what you need to do is separate fab from real life and 'never the twain shall meet'. It is hard but in the end he may want to just keep it fab only. If you can deal with that rather than lose him forever then there is still a small chance it can work as fab friends only.
Good luck.
Bx |
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